I load one, two, three, four, five, pump. I realize with my hand on the sixth round that I forgot to put the safety on first. Oh Well, Nobody Died. “Where’s R-Ron?”
He holds his severed arm against his shoulder, and needle formations start to fill the gap. “I thought I’d come check on my little pet.”
I shine the gun-light at the wall so I can see his face. “Since when am I your pet?”
“Not you.” As he gets to his feet, he whistles three sharp notes.
I hear clicking coming down the hallway and raise the gun, but he just chuckles and comes around me, still holding his arm in place. He stops a few steps away, in the middle of the hallway.
As we watch, the spider approaches and stands docile next to his left foot. I see that its body is a ring of black needles, from which sprout more legs than I can count without shuddering — about twenty, I think. It nudges his pants with one leg; he nudges it back with his foot.
“You . . . You tamed it?” I marvel.
“It was one of the first creatures I found after my transformation. It took a year, but now it no longer attacks me, and will obey simple commands.”
“I’m impressed.” I lower the gun a little, though I keep the spider within the pool of light. “I imagine you lied about the type of monster because you knew I’d have ‘nope’d right out if I’d known. But why send me here at all?”
“As a test.”
“Yeah, well, I don’t appreciate it.”
“Not for you. It can sic just fine, but I wanted to see if it could kill a human without my help, and—” He nudges it with his foot and makes kissy noises at it. “You’re not very good at it, are you boy? Are you? No treat for you, nooooo.”
I bring the gun up again and shine the light directly into his eyes. “You have ten seconds to convince me that you were kidding.”
He smiles, and his pupils are starting to shrink.
“I thought I was a ‘valuable member of the team’.”
“You bought that? I was just trying to get you to come here.” He gestures down at his spider with his now-healed arm. “I decided to kill you the moment you refused my offered blood.”
I hate that I can’t see the spider, but I’d rather be able to see Tedrin. I want to blow his head off right here and now, but something holds me back, maybe the desperate wish that this is just a really unfunny practical joke.
He smirks. “Plus, I don’t like how you interfere in Veronica’s life. She’s very strong; the only times she shows any weakness is when she’s busy resenting you.”
“If that wasn’t a load of horseshit, I’d feel guilty.” If I wasn’t surging with adrenaline, for that matter.
“Losing you is going to hurt her so much. She’ll need someone to comfort her. I hope I’m up to the task. And in the end, she will become stronger for it.”
This is really happening. This isn’t some psycho game; Tedrin actually intends to kill me. (I can’t wait to tell Ron how right I was!) If he has his way, these could be the last breaths I ever take.
He’s still talking, something about Ron; but I tune him out. I’m no good at speed-pumping, but even at one shot every few seconds, I should be able to blow his head off, pump, blow the knob off the door, pump, and fire a round into anything that chases me thr—
TINY LEGS ON MY PANTS HOLY SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
I very narrowly resist blowing my own leg off trying to shoot the spider. Instead I slam myself into the door as hard as I can, praying I can crush the spider between my leg and the wood. At the same time, I pump the gun, accidentally ejecting a good shell, I steady the gun-light on Tedrin’s pinprick eyes and
BLAM
I miss his head, even at almost point-blank, and blow open the top of his chest. I don’t have time to enjoy his expression or scream of pain and rage—
Vvit, near my kneecap, and I feel something hot entering my leg. I slam against the door again, screaming, and even as I pump the gun, I accidentally clutch the trigger—
BLAM
A hole blows open in the wall—
Have to get out, get out, get out—
I pump the gun, aim at the doorknob—
BLAM
Wood splinters go flying, and I feel a sizeable one embed in my arm with a sting as I pump the gun. No time. The spider is still on my leg, vvit, like a hard pinch, and that hot feeling is spreading up into my thigh, get across the room, get to the window—
My leg goes out from under me, numb. I hit the wooden floor on my stomach and the air is shoved from my lungs
BLAM
I’ve accidentally fired into the ceiling. My brain is in full panic-mode; I can’t even remember where the window is. I kick my good leg uselessly, trying to dislodge the spider that I’m sure is still on me.
Just as I try to push myself up, a weight comes down on my back and holds me down. Tedrin is sitting on me, and his blood is dripping onto my neck. I struggle even harder to draw breath.
His long, hot fingers weave into my hair and take hold. I scrabble at his hand, trying to pull his grip loose—
WHAM
My world is enveloped in white-hot pain. My face is on fire. He slowly raises my head, and I feel blood pouring down my chin.
He slammed my face against the floor. I think he’s broken my n—
WHAM
Oh, God. I would give anything for this to not be happening. I’m going to die, and it’s going to hurt. I pull my tongue back, terrified that it’ll be cut on my teeth, but it’s hard because I’m wheezing out a terrified, moaning scream, and my tongue won’t coopera—
WHAM
I heard teeth break that time. Suddenly the pain is far away, very fierce but sort of distant. My forehead feels split-open.
His weight shifts on my back, and I feel his breath hot against my ear. “You brought this on yourself,” he whispers
WHAM
My arms go limp, and my head sags in his grip. I’m blind and can barely breathe; every gasp makes my teeth explode in pain.
His weight disappears from my back, and I feel his grip on my arm. He’s hauling me up onto my feet. Blood rushes to my head. I sneeze blood. I gulp for breath and swallow blood. I press a wobbling hand to my mouth and it slips around in my blood.
“Do you want to die?” he whispers, still holding me up.
I shake my head woozily.
“Of course not.” He pats my head tenderly and watches me choke and suck in air. “Do you want someone to fix up your face?”
Helpless hope blooms in my chest. Maybe he’s changed his mind. Maybe he’s screwing with me. As long as I get morphine and stitches and I wake up whole and alive, I don’t care. I nod like a hideous bobble-head doll.
Tedrin pulls me against his body and holds me upright. “Then one last time: Accept my blood.”
I close my swollen eyes and feel vomit rising. I think of those needles in Ron’s hands. I think of Tedrin’s insane pinprick eyes. I think of what it would be like to change.
I swallow hard and shake my head. “G’fug y’ses,” I mumble.
He chuckles and kisses my temple. “See you on the other side.” He takes hold of the sides of my head, and as I fall, he twists.
My head hits the floor, and I blink sluggishly. Something is wrong. The spider bit me again, or something. I’m numb all over, but not cold. I can’t feel anything past a prick of agony in my neck. I try to breathe, can’t. Must be blood blocking my throat and n—
He’s broken my neck.
I lie there staring across the dirty floor. There’s a blank section of wall. Tedrin moves, I can’t breathe, says something, moves again..
The spider walks into my field of view, I can’t breathe, walks back out.
Somewhere behind me, on the floor, my phone beeps. “Out of recording space.”
In the silence, I hear Tedrin pick up the phone and tap around on the screen. Then I’m listening to myself shooting at the spider, screaming shrilly through the tinny phone s
peakers. Then Tedrin’s voice, then gunshots.
The phone settles down on the floor in front of my face; he holds the screen up for a moment, so I can watch him delete the footage.
I’m being dragged. By my feet. My arm in my face. I can’t breathe. Every move— white-hot pain—
Stopped moving. Staring at the door. Going black.
Silence.
My eyes . . . hurt.
I don’t want to die.
I don’t
don’t want
no
Brain cells dying in vast clumps. Memories, behaviors, desires, programming, decaying into mush
I retreat deeper and deeper.
I don’t want to be unmade!
I don’t want
don’t
no
The edges of nothing touch the skin of my face, turning me, stabbing me in the neck. Lips press around mine and I feel a push against the back of my throat.
My eyes are too far away to open, but breath eases in and out of my neck. Hearing returns; I hear weeping.
“Just hang on,” Ron whispers very close to my face, and then she seals our lips together and breathes again. “I’m right here.” Breath. “I’ll call 9-1-1, okay?”
Another few breaths later, she moans, “I can’t get a signal!” Breath. “I can’t leave you!” Breath. “Ted will come soon.” Breath. “We’ll get you to the hospital.” Breath. “Just hold on!” she begs. Breath. “Don’t worry. I killed it.” Breath. “It’s right there, and it’s dead.”
Breath.
I lie limp and she breathes into my chest. She’s turned me over on my back, not realizing that my neck is broken. A single thought drifts toward me, thick and slow:
She can’t keep this up forever. I’m still going to die.
I drift in and out of a black, dreamless sleep. My lips are raw. Ron is crying hard.
A hand on my scalp, prying. “What happened?”
“I f-found her like this!” Ron sobs. “We have to get her to a h-hospital!”
“Veronica.” Tedrin’s voice is tight with grief. “Her neck is broken.”
Ron cries harder.
“If we move her, we’ll only hurt her. If her brain stem is damaged, she’ll go into a vegetative state. As it is, she’ll spend the rest of her life in a bed—”
“Shut up!” she shrieks. “We got her into this! We have to save her!” She resumes alternately breathing into my mouth and sobbing. I taste my blood and her tears.
Tedrin draws a deep breath. “We could . . .”
“No! You said you offered and she said ‘no’.” She sniffles. “No, we’re not doing that.”
“Those are our options, Veronica.”
“There’s another way. We have to think of another way.”
“Either we carry her out of here and permanently damage her nervous system, or I go and bring back EMTs, by which time she’ll have been without oxygen for too long, or I save her the way I saved you.”
She sobs for a moment, breathes into my lungs, and presses her forehead against my cheek. “Please, G-God, no. We can’t.”
He whispers, “Now you know how I felt when I found you dying. This is a great responsibility, but if you love your friend, you will save her.”
Ron breathes for me, then sucks in a deep gasp. “What do we do?”
“I can cut her neck and place my blood in the wound, but it won’t activate until her body dies.”
“Don’t say that! Don’t . . .” She moans, and breathes for me. “I can’t. I can’t let her die.”
“Every time you push air into her lungs, you prolong her suffering. Remember how hard it was to die? How much pain you were in? You have to let her go.”
She seals her lips around mine one more time, but then pulls back without breathing. She sniffles, and I hear her lying down on the floor beside me. “It’ll be okay,” she whispers, running her fingers through my hair. “We’ll take care of you. Just relax and let go.”
Tedrin’s hand snakes under my neck, lifts my head, cradles it. He whispers soothingly, “When her heart stops, I’ll make a tiny cut on the back of her neck, and I’ll slice open my palm. She won’t feel a thing until the transformation starts.”
“Okay.” Deep breath. “Just relax.”
“Just let go.”
scratch
microscopic silver squiggles
thorns in my head
connec—
Exploding screaming as hard as I can and two firm hands are on my shoulders holding me down material against my back squealing and ripping with every movement and a wall against my right knee staring up into eyes and a mouth screaming SHE’S FINE, JUST KEEP DRIVING, GODDAMMIT I kick and fight and my hands are curled into claws and the needles in my head pulse with my heartbeat my neck my neck MY NECK MY NECK YOUR NECK IS FINE, JUST BREATHE WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME WE SAVED YOUR LIFE NOW CALM DOWN I plunge into red darkness and it’s washing against my ears and getting into my teeth and can’t breathe and I struggle like there’s ten billion pounds on top of me and all I can hear is a distant echoing roar and I’m all alone and no one is OH GOD CALM DOWN OH GOD STOP SCREAMING AT HER OH GOD I hold on as tight as I can to fabric, a sleeve, a shoulder, a riptide of blood sucking me back down and I’m clawing and scrabbling and gasping and I’M DROWNING YOU’RE IN YOUR CAR I’m gonna die I’m gonna die I CAN’T BREATHE I knew this would happen I’m gonna OH GOD WHERE’S RON SHE’S DRIVING can’t breathe WHY IS SHE SCREAMING SO MUCH blood swallowing SHE IS FINE, VERONICA, JUST DRIVE I WANT RON I’M RIGHT HERE, IT’S OKAY, YOU’RE IN— in the back seat of your car. We’re going home.”
I squeeze my eyes shut and try to breathe. Tedrin’s hands relax on my shoulders, but he’s still holding me down. I don’t know why. My right knee presses hard against the back of the seat; the other is pinned under his thigh. Why is he holding me d—
There are a billion silver squiggles hidden throughout my body, pressed up to the inside of my skin. They are my nerve endings; I was born with them.
There is a branch of thorns that starts at the back of my neck and extends into my head and down my back, jabbing down into my left arm. Every movement that forces those silver squiggles against the thorns sends a bolt of pain through me.
I enter a feedback loop, steadily crunching my body into an ever-tighter ball, desperate to get away from the thorns, don’t touch, deny, they’re not there, this isn’t happening, my body is my own, ohgodtheyhurtsomuch—
“—she’s coming out of it. She’s stopped seizing.”
“Did this happen to me?”
“Oh, yes.”
“I don’t remember.”
“Yours only took an hour or two, because you didn’t fight it.”
“Is she—”
“Of course she’s fighting it! She’s her!” I hear Tedrin sigh and run a hand through his hair. “This is going to be miserable.”
“We’re almost back to my place.”
I suck in a deep breath and open my eyes. Tedrin is still leaning over me, one hand on my shoulder, the other relaxed, and to my deep shock, the expression he turns on me is compassionate.
“Listen,” he whispers. “Don’t fight this. Whatever parts of your body it wants to grow into, just let it. It’ll be like your leg falling asleep. If you fight back, it’ll hurt like nothing you’ve ever known before, and you’ll have another seizure.”
My entire body is shuddering up and down, as if I’ve been pulled from freezing water. I open my mouth and, through my broken teeth and cut tongue, mumble thickly, “Make it thtop.”
“No one can stop this now, not even me.”
“I don’ wan’ it.”
He raises a hand to my hair and strokes. “Close your eyes and relax.”
I keep them open, and I can’t help but focus on the thorn in my head. It’s sending out a billion little branches toward my mouth and nose, inspecting. I can actually feel it pressing the flesh of my lips back into place, sealing the cracks with thousands of microscopi
c spikes. It hurts, but it’s bearable.
Then it starts healing the cartilage in my nose, and I can’t stand it. I can feel bones moving inside my face and it doesn’t bother me so much, but every thorn that digs into that cartilage sends a blast of pain into my head. My entire body writhes, and I can barely breathe between weeping moans.
Tedrin’s back to holding me down by the shoulders and thigh. “Imagine how much worse this was for Veronica and I,” he whispers. “To have our bellies torn open and needles poured in to replace our ripped intestines. As bad as this is, never forget: It could be worse.”
I shut him out and focus on the pain. My nose begins to take shape again, the mushy flesh held up on a network of spliced cartilage and thorns. Suddenly I can breathe through it, though there’s a deep itch that becomes momentarily worse than the pain.
I sneeze.
When I open my eyes, Tedrin is still above me, and his face is speckled with blood. He’s frozen in shock and disgust.
The car comes to a stop, and I hadn’t noticed the knocking roar of the engine until Ron turns it off. “Can you keep her from screaming until we get into the apartment?”
“I’ll try. Open the door.”
I hear her get out and come around to the back seat door at my feet. There’s something building in my neck, and I realize too late that I’m about to be hit with a wave of agony. The door swings open, and Tedrin starts to work his arms underneath my shoulders and knees. Every little movement sends white-hot pain up and down my spine.
“S-Stop,” I blurt, and he pauses. “It h-hurts.”
“We’ll get you inside, where you can rest.”
“I c-can’t.” I suck in a deep breath. “I’ll sc— sc—” I squeeze my eyes shut. “Sc-scr—”
“Veronica, when I get her out, can you put a hand over her mouth?”
“Okay. I don’t think anyone’s looking out their windows, anyway. It’s almost midnight.”
Eden Green Page 5
