by Moss, Brooke
While I was worried about the state of our friendship, I wasn’t all that concerned about her broken heart. She’d already gone on three dates with our food distributor, and judging by the hickey she’d come in with earlier, I was pretty sure they’d gone to bed together. Sure, Fletcher had bruised Marisol’s ego, but her sex social life wasn’t suffering in the slightest.
“Who?” My heart leapt into my throat.
“Who do you think?” She folded her arms across her chest.
It’d only been a week since Fletcher had left my apartment in the middle of the night after the best make-out session I’d ever experienced in my life. In those seven days, ten hours, and thirteen minutes since he’d pressed one last kiss to my lips before disappearing into the night, we’d had ice cream once, emailed each other twice a day, talked on the phone at least once a day, and I’d long since lost track of how many text messages we’d exchanged. We were getting to know each other more than I ever realized was possible. For instance, I now knew about Fletcher’s lucky socks, which he’d not washed since his senior year of college when he’d scored a one hundred percent on a physiology exam. And he knew that I keep all the stickers off of my produce, and that they decorate the inside of my plate cupboard door.
I also knew he’d been thinking about me night and day since parting ways, and that his brother accused him of being high while they were painting his new living room. And Fletcher knew I was sleeping with one of the throw pillows off my couch, because it still smelled like him.
Oh yeah, I had it bad. We both did.
I brushed flour off of my apron, and tried to smooth down my hair. I’d been making homemade fettuccine for the past two hours, and looked about as limp as the noodles I was cutting. “Oh, geez. I’m a mess. Send him in.”
“Him?” Marisol’s eyebrows rose. “Sorry to disappoint you, love. It’s your mother.”
My shoulders sagged. “Oh.”
I didn’t want to see my mother. I’d already seen too much of her and Pastor Irm. I wasn’t sure what to say after the things I’d said outside her house that day. As gratifying as it should’ve been to discover my mom was a giant hypocrite, I didn’t feel good about it at all. She’d still lied. She’d still judged me more harshly than anyone else I knew. And she’d still broken her promise to accept me—and my baby—time and time again.
“You sure you want to see her?” Marisol had never been my mother’s biggest fan. “I can send her away.”
I narrowed my eyes at her. “You looked like you would enjoy doing that entirely too much.”
She shrugged. “Eh. It’s been a boring afternoon. Some Patsy drama would pass the time. Who did you think it was, anyway? You looked entirely too excited for you to think it was your mother at the door.”
Heat saturated my neck and face, and I wondered if my feelings for Fletcher were obvious. Marisol could usually sniff out one of my crushes like a bloodhound finds a steak.
It was just a matter of time before I was going to have to confess my big secret to her, because things with Candace had become increasingly strained. She’d told me, in no uncertain terms, that she wasn’t going to keep a secret from Marisol, no matter how good the reason was. I’d promised that as soon as Fletcher and I went on our first official date, I would take Mar to lunch, sit her down, and explain that Fletcher and I were dating.
The baby kicked me in the back, and I grunted in pain. “Ugh. I was excited because I thought it was the stork.”
“Ha, ha, ha.” Marisol sauntered towards the front of the shop. “I’ll send her back. Gird your loins.”
I stood next to the stainless steel table I’d been rolling noodle dough on and smoothed down the front of my apron. As the door opened, I noticed I’d left out my knife set and quickly tossed it into a nearby sink of water. The last thing I needed were any weapons lying around. My mom wasn’t a violent woman, but until a month ago, I’d not considered her a sexual woman, either.
“Alexandria.”
I looked up to find my mother standing across the table from me. She was wearing a baby blue sweatshirt with dancing kittens across the bosom, and a pair of stonewashed jeans that were an inch or two too short. Her graying blonde hair had been ratted and teased into a perfectly round helmet, and a chain of pink beads held her glasses on her head. Her eyes were rimmed in red, and she was wringing her hands as she waited for me to respond.
I took a deep breath. “Hi, Mom.”
She looked down at my stomach. It’d gotten so big that my apron strings barely tied behind my back. “You look so cute,” she said with a tiny smile. “You’re glowing.”
Snorting, I brushed a strand of hair back from my forehead and secured it with a barrette. “That’s usually code for you look sweaty and gross, isn’t it?”
“Oh, don’t be oversensitive, you—” My mother cut herself off, took a breath, then said, “What I mean to say is, you look beautiful, dear.” Her eyes flooded, and she fanned her face. “I can’t believe my baby’s having a baby.”
My heart swelled. “You’re going to have two grandbabies, as soon as Corbin and Andrea get a placement.”
She nodded. “I’m a lucky woman.”
I fidgeted with a spoon. “What brings you by today, Ma?”
Her eyes fell to the floor. “I can’t believe I’ve missed so much.”
“What do you mean?”
“I should have been with you at your appointments,” my mom said with a sigh. “I should’ve been picking out booties and layettes with you. I should have helped plan your baby shower. I should have been the one to buy your baby a crib, or a stroller, or one of those new-fangled front pack thingies.”
I swallowed. While I honestly wasn’t sure what a layette was, I understood where she was going. In my mother’s quest to make me an honest woman, she’d missed the bulk of my pregnancy. Now I was on the verge of delivery, and I’d experienced almost every pregnancy milestone sans my mother. It sucked. Really sucked.
“I know.” My voice was quiet. “I’ve really missed you.”
“I missed you, too.” She pushed up her glasses.
“You can come to my shower,” I offered. “Candace is throwing me one next week. I want you to be there.”
“You do?” Her eyes filled with hope. “Oh, Lex, I was so wrong. I judged you so harshly. I epitomized the kind of person I never thought I’d be.”
Nodding, I swallowed back the ball of emotions tickling the back of my throat. My instinct was to go around the table, wrap my arms around my mother, and tell her that it isn’t her fault, and that I’m sorry. Ever since my dad died, my brothers and I had treated her with kid gloves, but I wouldn’t do it today. She’d hurt me so badly.
“You were really rough on me, Ma.” I told her, my voice cracking.
My mother squared her padded shoulders at me. “I will never do that to you again. Not ever. I accept you, and your baby, just as you are right now.”
Shaking my head, I tossed the spoon into the sink. “I don’t know. It’s hard to believe you. You’ve promised me that before.”
“I may screw up from time to time,” she said. “Because I’m not perfect. As you well know. But I promise you that I’ll try my hardest, and that I’ll always apologize when I do something stupid.” She sighed. “You’ve been through so much over the last few years, with the divorce and starting your own business. And you’ve done it all without the help of a man, Alexandria. This whole time I’d been watching you, assuming you’d be happier and more successful if you had a husband to take care of you. When the truth was you were doing more with your life without one.”
My mouth dropped open. She got it, she really did. “Thank you,” I croaked.
I hoped this was real, and that my mother wasn’t going to parade in some random guy from her church five minutes from now. I examined her face. She looked serious. Her brow was furrowed, and her lips were pulled into a line. She only made that face when the truth was being spoken, or when she was listening to Pastor
Irm’s sermons at church.
Ew. Pastor Irm. Not a great visual.
“I want you to know I’m proud of you.” My mom’s chin started to quiver. “I want you to know that I love you, and I know you’re going to be an amazing mother. You’re so determined and diligent, you won’t even need help. The rest of us are going to have to beg you to let us come over to relieve you.”
“I don’t know about that.” I chuckled nervously. “I’m a little scared to be alone. But not so scared that I don’t think I can handle it. Just scared enough to feel anxious to tackle it.”
“You were always that way.” My mom shook her head and smiled. “If your teachers told you there was a test coming at the end of the week, you wanted to take it on Wednesday. You didn’t want to wait. You weren’t scared. Just determined. Sometimes when you were little, I thought that determination would be the death of me. But I can see it serves you well now.”
“I still need you,” I blurted. When my mom looked at me with a face full of hope, I shrugged. “A girl needs her mom, you know? I mean, I could do the single motherhood thing alone. I know I could, if I had to. But I don’t want to do it without my mom around.” My shoulders sagged now. “I just want you to accept me the way I am. Don’t try to improve me. Just let me improve myself.”
She nodded and wiped a tear off of her cheek. “It’s a deal. I promise this time. I really do.”
“I know.” I reached out a hand and took my mothers across the table. It felt great to feel her soft fingers around mine. I could feel the promise of a new relationship in her grip, and I actually believed it. “And, I promise to accept you the way you are, too.”
She nodded and wiped her eyes again. “Of course you do, dear.”
“No, Mom, listen.” I gave her hand a gentle shake. “Look at me.”
She looked at me with a cringe. She knew where I was going next.
“You’re, um, you know, with Pastor Irm.” It wasn’t a question. It was a statement. Stating the obvious, if you asked me. But that was my intent. Throwing the absolute truth out between us, and letting it lay on the tabletop like a big ugly mess we couldn’t ignore.
Ten seconds passed. Finally, she nodded so subtly it was almost unperceivable.
My stomach turned, and the baby shifted. This epitomized uncomfortable. I felt like a parent giving their teenager the sex talk, instead of a grown woman discussing her mother’s sex life.
“Ma, do you love him?” I already knew the answer to that question. My mother had been in love with Pastor Irm for years. We all knew it. Just because we pretended like it wasn’t happening didn’t make it untrue.
My mother released my hand and patted at her hair self-consciously. She opened her mouth and released a high-pitched giggle. “I do. Oh, Alexandria, I’ve been wanting to talk about it for so long!”
I covered my mouth and laughed. “I knew it. That was the worst kept secret I’ve ever heard. You love him, and he loves you. It’s been clear for years.”
She beamed. “I haven’t felt like this since your dad and I were dating.”
I came around the end of the table and looped my arm in hers. “I’m happy for you. I really am.”
“You’re not upset?” She asked. “I always thought that you and your brothers would be upset if you though I was replacing your father.”
“It’s not replacing Dad.” I led her to a small table and chairs where Marisol and I sat during breaks. “If it makes you happy, I’m all for it. Corbin and Darren probably feel the same way. We only want you to be happy.”
Her cheeks were pink as she grinned at me. “Do you really mean it?”
“I do, Ma. In fact, I have something to tell you. But it’s a secret.” I bit my lip, words dancing at the end of my tongue, threatening to fall off. I lowered my voice to a whisper “I think I may have found myself someone who makes me happy, too.”
Chapter Twenty-four
The door to the examination room swung open, and the moment Fletcher stepped in, it felt like the room flooded with sunshine. His blonde hair was mussed, and his white coat was unbuttoned over a denim shirt and wrinkled khaki pants. He wore a grin so wide and unabashed I literally felt my insides squeeze.
Actually, I’d been feeling my insides squeeze all afternoon. Stupid Braxton-Hicks contractions. But the point was still clear: Seeing Fletcher two days earlier than planned was a wonderful treat. Ten bazillion times better than a chocolate mousse filled cupcake.
He shut the door and grinned at me. “Lexie.”
I gripped the edge of the examination table until my knuckles went white. What a treat. I’d expected to get Dr. Javornik-the-wonder-hippie to check on my baby. Fletcher and I were going on our first official date in exactly forty-seven hours, right after my baby shower at Candace’s house, and after two weeks apart, I was more than ready to see him.
“Hi,” I whispered, suddenly shy. “I thought you weren’t coming back from Arizona until Saturday morning.”
Fletcher stepped closer, resting his clipboard on a nearby stool. His warm hands touched my knees softly, sending an exciting tickle dancing up my legs. “I called to check on things in the office, and my receptionist mentioned you had an appointment today. I flew in early so I could catch it.”
My head felt light. The squeeze in my stomach flexed, then released. He’d flown all the way home to see me? “I’m glad.”
He smiled and his eyes crinkled. “Me, too. Are you sure it doesn’t make you uncomfortable?”
“Why would it?” I relished the way he looked at me. It was like being under a heat lamp.
“Because we’re together.” He moved closer so he stood between my knees. His hands wound themselves around my middle, settling on the small of my back. “I’m going to let Dr. Javornik do your examination, but I’ll be nearby. I can step out and handle some dictation while you’re speaking with her.”
“You don’t have to do that,” I said quickly. “I mean, you can stay with me, you know, for moral support. You won’t even have to put on gloves to do that.”
He brushed his knuckles down my arm. “You sure you won’t mind? It won’t bother me to wait outside.”
“No. Stay. You can watch Dr. Javornik in action.”
“All right. Maybe she’ll teach me a thing or two.”
“Hey.” I pursed my lips, trying not to grin like a kid caught with candy. “You said we’re together. That’s very presumptuous, doctor.”
“Is it?” His nose brushed mine. “I missed you.”
“I missed you, too,” I whispered. “I was afraid you’d changed your mind.”
“About what?”
“About me.” I ran my hand through his hair.
He turned his face into my palm and drew in a deep breath. “Don’t think that’s possible.”
“So the date is still on?” I closed my eyes as Fletcher pressed light kisses along my cheekbone.
“Buffet dinner, then a movie, then dessert overlooking the river,” he said.
I giggled. “Perfect.”
“You smell so good.” He cupped my face. “Have you always smelled this good?”
My chest swelled. “I’m wearing the same perfume I always wear.”
“That’s it.” He snapped his fingers. “When I met you at that first appointment, you smelled like this. It hung in the office for a long time after you’d left, and it drove me bonkers.”
Oh good Lord, how I loved this man. “How’s Martha?”
He hesitated. “I told her.”
My eyes widened. “You told her about us?”
“Yeah.” His eyes shone. “I asked her what she thought about us dating, and she danced around the room.”
“I might have danced around the room a little, too,” I confessed. A pain rolled through my lower belly like a wave, spreading to my back. I sucked in a sharp breath. “Especially after we kissed.”
His grin widened. “I can neither confirm nor deny that dancing took place when I got home.”
The pa
in in my belly was going away now, but the twinge in my heart remained. “I’m going to tell Marisol now. I was waiting until after our first date.”
When I paused, Fletcher finished for me. “To see if we still wanted each other?”
I nodded.
“Well, I’m here, aren’t I?” He leaned in and brushed his mouth against my ear. It sent a flurry of shivers sliding down my spine. “How about you? You still in?”
My eyes rolled back. Just a little. “Abso-freaking-lutely.”
“Then it’s time to tell her.” He played with a strand of my hair. “I should be with you when you do it.”
“No.” I swallowed. It was getting really difficult to concentrate with Fletcher’s mouth so close to mine. “This is my responsibility. I can do it.”
“You just call me, and I’ll be there.” His breath tickled my ear. “There’s no reason you have to do this—or anything—alone again.”
My mouth found his, and a whirl of hysterical joy rushed through me, setting every hair on my body on end.
We kissed and kissed, and it was glorious. I’d been afraid that the spark between us would’ve shrunk during our time apart, but I was wrong. It was alive and well. And I couldn’t wait until our date.
After about five minutes of very teenager-ish making out, the door swung open, and Dr. Javornik appeared. “Hello, Lexie, how are… oh!”
Fletcher and I pulled apart, our faces red and swollen. “Sorry.” Fletcher stepped back and smoothed a hand down the front of his coat. “Sorry, Bev. I guess the secret’s out then. Lexie and I are dating.”
Dr. Javornik’s eyes widened. “Clearly. And how long has this been going on?” Her eyes flicked down to my belly.
“Not long,” I said quickly.
Fletcher took my hand and laced his fingers with mine. “Long enough. Lexie would like me to keep her company during the examination. Is that all right with you?”
“Of course.” Dr. Javornik nodded, a smile teasing the sides of her mouth. “You know the nurses are going to have a heyday with this, don’t you?”
Fletcher pressed his lips together. “I expect they will, won’t they?”
