by K. C. Hilton
“Joey! Everything is going to be okay,” he called. “The Coast Guard is on their way!”
Joey was not looking good. In fact he was looking quite pale and seemed barely able to keep the shirt pressed against his wound. Collin wanted to go to him, but he had to control the boat as well. He decided to try and distract him with stories.
“Joey! Hey, Joey! Do you remember the ‘Bucket Story’ Mom used to call it? Do you remember?” Collin was desperate to keep Joey’s attention.
Joey mumbled something non-committal, but Collin kept it up, trying to stay calm for Joey. “Mom called us all into the house for dinner. You were only about five years old. I came rushing into the house and took my seat at the table. Mom looked at me, then she looked at Dad, and he just shrugged. They waited a few minutes for you to come in the door but you never did.” He tried to laugh, tried to engage Joey, but everything he did sounded forced. “Mom asked me where you were. She was staring me down like a hawk, I tell you. She knew something wasn’t right.” Collin looked back over his shoulder at Joey and tried to laugh again. “I tried to keep from laughing and she told me to look at her. You know? The way she’d demand that and nobody on earth was going to look away after that? Anyway, she asked me again where you were and I told her you were in a tree. She looked at Dad, but he just sat back and folded his arms, waiting to hear what else I was going to say.”
Joey made a grumbling noise that didn’t resemble any kind of words. At least he was trying to be attentive as Collin told the story. That was a good thing. Joey was staying as alert as he could.
“She told me to go tell you to come inside for dinner, but I said you couldn’t because you were in the tree. Mom was getting upset by then and she asked me what I was talking about. So I told her you were hanging in the tree and couldn’t come down. Dad started to laugh and I thought Mom was going to blow a fuse or something. Then she got up from the table and stomped through the house, heading out the back door.”
Joey made a little chuckling sound when Collin looked back at him.
“Dad asked me what I had been up to and before I could answer him, Mom started screaming for him to come and help her get you out of the tree! Do you remember that?” Collin started really laughing now, unable to help himself. “Do you remember getting into the five gallon bucket and me hoisting you up with a rope tied to the handle?”
“At least you tied it to the tree with a good knot so I wouldn’t fall,” Joey managed. He laughed a little and grasped the shirt to his wound. “Stop! It really hurts when I laugh.”
Chapter 30
When the Coast Guard arrived, approximately twenty miles from Key West, Collin and Joey were transferred to the Coast Guard’s boat. Another boat towed Adelio’s boat behind.
Collin held Joey’s hand while two Emergency Medical Technicians administered first aid. At one point Collin looked up and recognized one of the U.S. Coast Guards on board, and the name Perez jumped to mind. He’d seen the man before during some of the Coast Guards’ routine checks of fishing boats in the Florida Strait.
The technicians didn’t move fast enough. Everything seemed to be progressing in slow motion. Collin was frantic. “He needs to get to a hospital! He needs a doctor!” he yelled. “Aren’t you going to get a helicopter here?”
The two Coast Guards assessing Joey’s wound exchanged a knowing glance but didn’t speak. They continued to work on Joey but didn’t look at Collin.
“Air support is on its way,” one of the men said from behind him. It was an unsympathetic and cold reply and made Collin instantly suspicious. What did these guys know that they weren’t telling him? Something was wrong, Collin thought to himself. Where was the damn helicopter?
Joey squeezed Collin’s hand hard, sweating through the pain of the first aid as the two men applied pressure to his wound and prepped him for an I.V.
“You could have stopped this, Collin!” Joey sobbed. “It didn’t have to be this way. We should have left. You promised to take me away from everything, just you and me. You promised! Do you even remember that?” He cried out, squeezing his face tight in agony, then went on, his words spitting out. “You said when the day came you would tell me it was time. Well, that day never came, did it? It’s all your fault, Collin. I hate you,” Joey managed. A line of blood started leaking out of his mouth. “Do you hear me? All of this is your fault!”
“What could I have done?” Tears flowed down Collin’s face and he caught his breath in a hitch, trying to get his words out. “The yacht wasn’t ready, Joey. What could I have done? Tell me what I could have done!” Collin pleaded, but he knew Joey couldn’t possibly have an answer. No one could have done anything differently to change what had happened.
Joey blinked hard, struggling to look Collin directly in his eyes. “You could have stopped me from getting the mail,” he growled, spitting out blood as his words came slower. He took short, quick breaths, and grasped weakly onto Collin’s arm.
“What mail? What day are you talking about?” Collin asked softly. He was confused. What did Joey getting the mail have to do with anything? Maybe it was the loss of blood, the shock, the trauma that was getting to Joey.
“Today. The anniversary of Mom’s and Dad’s death. You should have stopped me from getting the mail today,” Joey said slowly. His words began to fade. “But no. It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have yelled at you. I shouldn’t have left you. I should have been more patient. I’m sorry, Collin. It’s all my fault. I’m so sorry. Please forgive me.”
“It’s okay, Joey. It’s okay,” Collin said, not knowing what else to say. The E.M.T.s had stopped working and had moved away a bit, giving the brothers room. From the expressions on their faces, Collin surmised they’d done all they could do. Panic, grief and guilt roared through him.
He remembered the necklace Adelio had given him just before he’d died, the one his friend had said was a gift from his father. He slipped it off his neck and placed it on Joey, then held Joey’s hand tighter. When the technicians didn’t stop him, Collin slid his arm behind his brother’s neck, cradling him, rocking back and forth. Joey took a sudden deep breath then his eyes rolled slightly back.
“No! Joey? Joey?” But Joey had died in his arms. Collin held his little brother’s body against his own, sobbing helplessly. “Don’t you do this to me, Joey! Don’t you dare do this to me! Don’t you leave me! Oh God! Why? Why? Joey! Joey!” he screamed.
As the boat neared land and police cars drove up with their sirens blaring, Collin still couldn’t stop weeping. When the technicians came to take Joey’s body, he didn’t want to let go.
All at once, Collin was absolutely alone. He was suddenly aware that he would always be completely and utterly alone.
This couldn’t be real. It had to be a nightmare. Had to be. Except he couldn’t manage to wake up. He needed to wake up. Now. Please, Joey. Please!
He watched the technicians strap Joey to the stretcher. He felt weak, as if there was nothing left of him but guilt and misery. Then he felt a comforting hand on his shoulder, and looked through swollen eyes to see Perez standing there.
“He is with God now, my friend,” Perez said in a soft voice. He frowned, examining Joey more closely. Before they could wheel him away, Perez touched the cross on Joey’s chest. “Where did he get that necklace?” he asked.
A fresh wave of pain hit Collin and washed over him. “My friend gave it to me,” Collin said, swallowing more tears.
“What is your friend’s name?” Perez asked urgently, his voice a hoarse whisper.
“Adelio,” Collin said slowly, remembering the last time he had seen his friend.
Tears immediately rose in Perez’s eyes and started to trickle down his face. He swallowed hard, then reached for the cross around Joey’s neck and gently turned it over. Under the bright lights, the name “Perez” was clearly visible, inscribed on the back of the cross.
“Perez. It is my family name.” He stared at Collin. “Adelio is my son. My name is Gavin
. Gavin Perez. Where is my son? Have you seen him? Please. You must tell me.”
Collin blinked, stunned by the news. Would the pain never stop? His chin quivered madly and he turned away, unable to see any more anguish. He took a deep breath. “Adelio is dead.”
Perez’ entire body seemed to collapse in that moment. He dropped his chin to his chest, covered his face with his hands, and cried.
Chapter 31
He cried for the loss of his son. He cried for all the years he had not been able to contact his son so that he could tell him he had tried to get him to America legally. After he discovered his wife had died, Gavin had lost track of where Adelio had gone.
He cried for all the years he had lost and the knowledge that he would never again see his son. In his tortured memory he saw a brief image of young Adelio’s smile when he’d first been given the family cross, then it was gone.
He cried for Collin and for Joey.
For the past five years Collin had met with Adelio so that they could transport Cubans to the freedom of which Gavin had always spoken.
For the past fifteen years, Adelio had thought his father had died trying to “sail to freedom”.
All this time, Collin had been oblivious to the fact that Perez was Adelio’s father. Things could have been so different. If Collin had known, he could have reunited Adelio and his father many years before.
Turned out, Collin could have helped Adelio’s dream of freedom come true.
Now the only thing left of Adelio was his boat.
Perez stayed and listened to Collin’s story as he told it to the police over several grueling hours of interrogation. Collin told the police everything: names, places, and dates. Collin knew he could be headed to prison, but he really didn’t care anymore.
Through Collin’s confession, Perez learned of the friendship and business arrangement which had existed between Collin and Adelio. Perez accompanied the police officer when he drove Collin home on what seemed like a never ending drive.
In the back seat of the cruiser, Gavin told Collin of his illegal exit from Cuba. He explained to Collin that he had specifically wanted Adelio to assist him in making the raft so he would know what to do in case Gavin did not survive the voyage and Adelio decided one day to attempt it. Collin told Gavin he knew the story up to the day when Perez had left Adelio and his mother in Cuba. It made Gavin happy to know that Adelio had remembered so well and shared the story. So he hadn’t been forgotten after all.
Gavin had embarked on a six day journey across the Florida Strait, riding a tiny and shabby homemade raft. He had run out of water, food, strength and hope. When the Coast Guard finally found him, his body had been almost destroyed through sunburn and dehydration. He told them tales of waves as tall as buildings and described the sharks that had attacked his raft on his last night on the water. He would never forget the sound of their fins cutting through the calm sea.
Gavin was allowed to slip into society with little hassle as a sort of reward for having endured such a perilous journey. After securing a good job and gaining citizenship, which took many years, Perez went ahead with the process of legally bringing his wife and son to America. The paperwork was filed but no response was ever received. After years of trying to discover something, Gavin finally learned that his wife had died and the whereabouts of his son were unknown.
But Gavin never lost hope. He wanted to serve the great country that had taken him in and given him freedom.
He felt privileged to be able to work for the Coast Guard as a doctor. He wanted to work in the Florida Strait so that he could help other Cubans, and so he could watch for his son, if ever he dared to make the journey.
Gavin was now an American citizen. But he still did not dare travel to Cuba. Before he had left his country, Gavin had heard a well-known story about a man who had once gained U.S. citizenship after illegally leaving Cuba. The man had returned to his birth country many years later with plans to take his family back to America. As soon as the man landed on Cuban soil the authorities arrested him and sentenced him to twenty-five years in prison. Although the man was legally an American citizen, he had technically broken Cuban law and was punished with a long prison sentence to deter anyone else from leaving Cuba. Being an American citizen did not keep him from going to prison, and the United States could not come to his aid.
As of this evening, Gavin questioned everything. He had made the journey to America for his family but had never been able to bring them over. To discover that Collin had been Adelio’s friend was amazing. Then he’d learned his son had only been about forty-five miles away from Key West, and he had been there two or three days a week. Gavin had lived with hope in his heart for all these years, only to discover that Adelio had been murdered on this night.
“Your fishing boat was found drifting without a crew and we feared the worse,” Gavin told Collin. “It was towed to the ship impound yard for further investigation. However, because of the recent circumstances, my supervisor made a call and pulled a few strings. While you were being interviewed by the police, it was towed to the dock at your residence.”
Gavin scribbled his phone number on a piece of paper and handed it to Collin. “If I can ever be of any further assistance, please don’t hesitate to contact me. Here is my phone number. When you are ready, I would very much like to sit down with you and talk more about Adelio.” He put his hand on Collin’s arm and squeezed. “And I would like to add that what you and my son did, well, I consider that to be both courageous and heroic. I am very proud of you both.”
Collin hardly heard him.
The police car slowly turned into the driveway and Collin was finally home. It felt as if he’d been away for years. A dark, empty house waited for him.
Everyone he loved and cared about was gone, and all because of him. Mom, Dad, Joey, and Adelio were all dead. How could he go on living? What was he going to do now? He couldn’t think. He didn’t want to think.
Gavin shook Collin’s hand, patted him on the shoulder, then stood watching as Collin turned and faced his dark house. Collin stared at the lifeless house, unable to move his legs. He didn’t want to go in. Ever.
But as much as he didn’t want it to, life went on. He had to move forward. Collin shoved his hands deep into his pockets and reluctantly wandered to the front door. The very door that Joey had slammed just this afternoon, frustrated at Collin’s selfishness.
His mind drifted back to an evening when he and his mother had been sitting on the back patio, reading. On that particular evening one of her favorite songs was playing through the patio speakers. It was a calming, mellow tune. The kind Betty preferred when she was reading.
“I don’t know what I would ever do without you, Mom,” Collin had said.
“Life is precious, Collin, but you have to understand that life inevitably comes to an end,” Betty replied. She closed her book and removed her reading glasses, then looked Collin directly in the eye. “One day your father and I will be gone. But you’ll always have Joey,” she had said, then smiled at Collin with her loving eyes. She touched his cheek.
“But you don’t need to worry. You’ll never be alone, Collin. By the time your father and I decide to leave this earth, you and Joey will both be long married and have several children.” Betty giggled. “Hint, hint,” she said. “I want some grandkids before I’m too old to spoil them.”
Collin distinctly remembered walking away after their conversation was over and heading back inside. Just before he’d stepped into the house he paused to look over his shoulder. Collin smiled, content for a few moments to watch her read her book. A different song began to play softly through the speakers, and Collin sighed. He and Joey had wonderful parents.
He said nothing, only watched his mother for a moment, praying that he would never lose either her or his father. “I love you Mom,” Collin had whispered under his breath. He didn’t have to say it out loud. She knew he loved her.
But now, sitting alone at the kitchen table o
f his parents’ house, Collin knew for the first time in his life, that his mother was wrong. She had said he would never be alone, but he was. Joey was gone. And Collin would give anything … anything to have him back. He would give anything to be able to tell his parents and Joey that he loved them.
What would his mother say to him now if she were here? Collin shook his head. He didn’t want to think about her or his dad. He didn’t want to think about Joey. He didn’t want to think about anything ever again.
It wasn’t fair. Life wasn’t fair. What was the point of Collin’s life? Of his going on without them? He wanted to be with his family and his friend. He wanted to die. Death would be easier than reliving the deaths of those he cared about every single day for the rest of his pointless, expendable life. And the burden of all that guilt was just too much.
The only friend Collin had left was alcohol. But Collin was too tired to even take a drink. He stumbled onto his boat and collapsed onto his bed. He grabbed a pillow and hugged it fiercely to his chest, curling around it as if to protect it. He buried his face into the soft white cotton and prayed this bad dream would just go away. Maybe, by the grace of God, he would never wake up. If he could simply lie there in bed and die in his sleep, that would be perfect.
He didn’t think his eyes would ever close, but they did. Sleep finally consumed Collin’s numb body and mind.
Chapter 32
What’s that damn noise?
Collin lay in bed, rocking gently on his fishing boat, his mouth tasting like the inside of an old sock. Keeping his eyes squeezed safely shut against the possibility of bright sunshine, he stretched out one arm as he recognized the irritating beep of the alarm clock. His hand waved and fumbled around, trying to locate the snooze button, knocking over beer cans as he searched. Half a dozen cans crashed onto the floor next to his bed, then rolled around noisily while he continued to hunt for the snooze button.
