by Sara Alexi
Washing hung heavily in the garden at the side of her house, as if it was still wet. Mama must have hung it out within the last half hour.
Thanasis murmured. Vasso’s arms were exhausted from carrying him, and as she shifted him over to the other side he awoke.
'Nearly there, my little doll,' she told him. There was a slight pounding in her ears, the sound of her heart racing, but she told herself that she was being foolish. No one would condemn her for what she had done, would they?
At her own back door she paused and wondered if she should knock. She did not want to scare her mama.
'Mama?' she called instead.
'You know, I think I’m starting to get a little hungry now,' Vasso remarks to Juliet, pausing her tale.
'You, Vasso my friend, are a tease.' Juliet laughs and, lurching forward, she disentangles herself from her hammock seat to take the glasses indoors. She returns with them full, and the bottle tucked under one arm.
'I cannot drink another glass on an empty stomach!'
'I’ve nothing cooked…'
'Let’s go to Stella's.'
'If I keep eating at Stella's I’m going to be round as a barrel.' Juliet rubs one thin foot over the other and slips on her flip-flops. 'But you’ve talked me into it!' She manages to stand, this time with slightly more elegance, and the chair swings unburdened behind her.
'Put the wine in the fridge,' Vasso says, offering her glass back, and then pats her hair to give it more shape.
Juliet leaves the door unlocked and the gate open. They wander side by side down the lane and out towards the village square. It’s late enough now that the air is slightly cooler, and this has brought life to the village. Children play by the kiosk, run between the chairs and tables that have been taken out of the kafeneio. The older men sit and watch the news and football scores on the television that has been propped in the window, facing out for all to see.
'Look.' Vasso points to a carrier bag of beer bottles resting by one of the fridges in the kiosk – empties that have been returned by a customer but not stacked neatly in the crates round the back. 'That is what happens when you employ someone. They do not care as they would if it were their own.' The kiosk is a wooden box painted mustard yellow with a shelf all the way around the outside at elbow height, and a window on each side. The shelf itself bows under the weight of boxes of sweets, plastic cigarette lighters standing sentinel in containers, packs of cards, hanging plastic komboloi – worry beads – and endless piles of other daily essentials in multiples. Over the years, Vasso has added a line of drink coolers down one side, a magazine rack down the other, a freezer chest of ice creams in the middle. Her emporium has grown and now she sells everything but fresh food. She leaves that to Marina at the corner shop.
'Costa did you know there was a bag of bottles just dumped by that end fridge?'
She addresses the man in the box, who tears his eyes reluctantly away from his phone. It beeps at him and he glances back at it; he looks disappointed, then pockets the item and turns his attention to Vasso.
'What?'
Vasso points, and Costa slides reluctantly from his chair, taking his time to come out of the back of the kiosk and around it to see what she is indicating.
'Oh, yes, right.' He picks up the bag and takes it round the back, where he laboriously transfers the bottles into one of the crates.
'How long have you had the kiosk?' Juliet asks. 'No, wait, you were telling me that you just got back from Orino Island with Thanasis. How is he, by the way?'
'He’s very well, and I have some news for you. But first, let us eat.' Vasso waves to Stella across the road.
Stella's eatery is just beyond the square. It has half a dozen tables and chairs outside, arranged around a tree that has been wound round with fairy lights. There are two doors from the street: a narrow one into the dining area with its rough wooden tables, that the farmers tend to dominate, and a wide double door that puts the counter in front of the grill almost on the street, making it easy to serve the takeaways. The tables and chairs out on the pavement are a relatively new addition to tempt lazy housewives and their children, and to snag the occasional tourist.
'Hello, you two,' Stella greets them. She has on one of her usual sleeveless floral print dresses. This one, a size too large, is loosely belted to give it some shape and accentuates her small frame. Vasso is well aware her old school friend looks years younger than her. Her shoulder-length hair is loose, which gives the impression of ease, but it is her animation, her energy, that defies the years.
'Are you here to eat or chat?' Stella pulls out a chair as if ready to sit with them.
'Eat!' Vasso declares.
'Well, the chicken's cooked, the sausages are just done, the chips are fresh and the usual other things are all…' She absently waves her hand towards the grill, as they know well what is available.
'I'll just have a salad,' Juliet says. 'And maybe just a few chips.' She sits. 'Oh, and a beer.'
'Chicken and lemon sauce.' Vasso chooses a chair.
'And some tzatziki,' Juliet adds.
Stella waits.
'Actually, I might have some chicken, too. With lemon sauce, please,' Juliet relents, and Stella goes inside. 'So, come on, you were at the back door calling your mama.'
'To be honest, Juliet, there is not much more to tell. My mama was glad to see me of course, and I think even more glad to see Thanasis. When she heard what Spiros had done she could not believe it. In fact she did not believe it. She believed that Argyro might have made the offer but I had to convince her of Spiro’s part.'
'Are you talking about Spiros?' Stella comes out with two plates full of food. Following her is her husband, Mitsos. He brings three glasses and then returns inside and reappears with a jug of local wine.
'Here you go, girls,' he says, which makes Vasso giggle. 'Sit with your friends, Stella – there are only one or two farmers in tonight.' Mitsos goes back inside.
'He's so good to you,' Vasso says.
'Have you told Juliet about Spiros yet?' Stella asks.
'No, she hasn't. She’s being a real tease over this.' Juliet’s mouth is full of chips. She pours the wine.
'He was an absolute hero, that Spiros,' Stella says. 'How long were you here, Vasso – four days?'
'Three days.' Vasso is amused that Stella has so much enthusiasm for the tale. She decides to stay quiet and hear her tell it.
'Three days! That's all it took for him to find her. He looked all over Orino Island, asking everyone, but no one had seen her or the child. Then one of the customers said he had seen her late one night, the night she disappeared, down by the port. None of the fishermen admitted giving her a lift off the island and then one of the old boys mentioned a man with a big yacht, a foreigner.'
'I suppose once he knew you were off the island it would be obvious that you would come here.' Juliet scoops tzatziki with a hunk of bread.
'Spiros pressured a fisherman to take him across to the mainland and then he got rides from people all the way here.' Stella sips her wine, legs stretched out, ankles crossed down the side of the table. 'But he hadn't come to take you back, had he?'
'Oh, you’re joking! Had he come only for the child?' Juliet stops eating to look at Vasso.
'He came,' Vasso says, putting down her fork. 'Found me, and do you know what his first words were? "Why?" That’s what he said, "Why?" Well, I almost exploded. I called him all the names under the sun and he waited and listened and, when I had exhausted myself, he put his arms on either side of my shoulders, wrapped them around my back and pulled me to him.
'”Vasso,” he said, “I don't know if I should be angry or laugh.” I pulled away and told him to leave.'
'But really, Vasso,' Stella breaks in. 'How could you actually think he would have signed over Thanasis like that?'
'Don't make me feel a fool all over again,' Vasso warns Stella. 'I felt such a fool, Juliet. Of course he had not agreed anything with Argyro. He had only closed the doo
r so as not to wake his son. He said he had never lost his temper so badly with anyone in all his life. At one point his rage coursed so hot through his veins he thought he might even hit her, but of course he did not.' She turns to Stella. 'There were rumours that Stamatis slapped her across the face. I don't know if they were true. It seems unlikely, though. He is such a sweet-tempered man.'
'Someone should have slapped her,' Juliet interjects. 'I don't think I can eat all these chips. Do you want some, Vasso?'
Vasso helps herself to one or two.
'Stella?'
Stella shakes her head.
'So then what happened? I presume he had to go back to work? And what happened to Argyro and Stamatis?'
'Ah, well…' Vasso says with a smile.
Chapter 37
'It was Spiro’s idea, wasn't it?' Stella says.
'No. Well, sort of. I think we decided together. This lemon sauce is a good batch, Stella,' Vasso says.
'Made it this morning. I think the stock was richer than usual.' She leans over the table and takes a spoon from a glass that holds an assortment of cutlery and scoops some sauce from Vasso’s plate. 'Yes, not bad. It’s one of Spiro’s recipes, you know.'
Juliet’s eyes widen at the knowledge and she tastes the sauce again.
'So what did you decide together?' Juliet presses.
'To stay here,' Vasso says.
‘What, and Spiros left his old taverna just like that?’
‘He didn’t care. He said he never cared which taverna he worked in, as long as he worked.’
‘He got himself a job in a taverna in Saros. As you can imagine, he did well, and after – how long was it, Vasso? – only a year or so, they got their own taverna.’ Stella says.
'Oh, I love a happy ever after.' Juliet lifts her glass to chink against her friends’ but neither Vasso nor Stella is smiling. 'Oh God, what happened?' She says, putting the glass down.
Vasso cannot speak. It is a day that she has played over in her mind again and again. Spiros had come home so happy, singing as he walked up to their home, through the gate.
'Vasso, my love,’ he greeted her as he came into the house. ‘If we keep going like this the taverna will be paid off in another two years.' He was so full of life.
'What did they think of your new beef dish?' she asked, closing the door to the room where Thanasis was sleeping.
'They loved it.'
'You work too hard, my love.' She massaged his shoulders as he sat down on the kitchen chair that had been her mama’s until the year before, and was now hers. A picture of her mama’s face came to her and she put all her tender sorrow into easing the knots out of Spiro’s shoulders. She kissed his ear several times as she worked his shoulders and then she kissed his neck.
'These are the days,' Spiros said. 'I must do all I can to make us comfortable now.' And he turned to look at her and kissed her on the mouth. She presumed he was thinking, like her, of the shortness of life, and she understood and kissed him back, impressing the moment into her soul. The kiss grew in passion and Spiros, despite his tiredness, led her by the hand through to their bedroom where he so gently laid her on the bed, and his love flowed in his words and his kisses and his touch and they transcended all that was mortal and floated with the gods until, exhausted, they fell asleep.
In the morning, she was woken as the sun sliced past the edge of the curtain into the room, and rolled over to wrap her arms around him.
'Oh, you are so cold, Spiro,' she exclaimed. But he did not respond. His arms stayed tight across his chest, his legs did not fidget. 'Spiro.' She pushed him playfully. She registered the cold of his skin anew, and it became inhuman, clammy. 'Spiro!' She leaped from the bed, over him, then crouched down beside him to see his face. His eyes were closed but not in peace, his mouth twisted, open, his nose wrinkled. 'Spiro!' she screamed at the top of her voice. It was incomprehensible. 'Spiro!' she screamed again but she knew he could not hear her. ‘Spiro!’ This time his name emerged as a primal roar, and all that was animal in her rose, and she wailed as if her life was being dragged from her, her soul torn from her body. All her being wanted to be released from her physical body and fly to him, follow him to the other side, but he had gone and she could not follow. 'No! No!' Her tears blurred her vision. The incomprehensible and the impossible were shattering all she knew. Cradling his head, she willed life back into him. She promised the deities anything they wanted if they would give her love breath. Then she cursed them and told them to take her too, but the room remained quiet and still and eventually she sank to the floor, alone.
'Mama?' Thanasis opened the door. How she recovered her control she had no idea, but she was on her feet and over to him in a second, her voice shaky but controlled.
'Baba is a little poorly, Thanasis. Go to your room and play while I get the doctor.' Bless him, he had obeyed, and she had obeyed her own words and she did all she needed to do whilst her soul shrieked for her mate, the part that made her whole, but the sound echoed in the universe and she was left deserted, abandoned.
The words of the woman on Monemvasia came to her, about how, if you are truly loved, you do not feel lonely, and she told the woman through the ether that she could not be more wrong. Vasso was now composed of loneliness, a solitude that was liquid and coursed through her veins. She was just an empty shell, no longer human. She could have borne the pain, the desperation, if Spiros had been there to share it, and the irony hit her and the solitude engulfed her again.
Stamatis and Argyro came to the village and stayed in her house, her mama's house, and she resented Argyro’s presence every second. It was easier to be angry at her than at Spiros for leaving her. Stamatis seemed to sink into a familiar place and he pushed Argyro further and further away. Argyro seemed angry but neither Vasso nor Stamatis cared. As time passed, their limbs needed to move even if their minds couldn’t, and Vasso and her father-in-law took to going on long walks together. They did not speak, there was nothing to say, but often Stamatis would put his arm over her shoulders, draw her in close and kiss the top of her head. This was as expressive as he got. Vasso, in turn, would lay her head against his shoulder. He knew her pain, having lost his first wife, his true love. As they mourned together, Argyro became ever more excluded, and finally she found some pretext to return to the island, leaving Stamatis to follow a good deal later.
'You see, he knew.' Vasso manages to speak, but she cannot look at Juliet or Stella. 'He had known since just after we were married. That time he had been out of breath, the indigestion, at Monemvasia, had worried him more than he would say and he went to see the doctor. He had the same heart problem as his mama. All the time we were married he had known he would go sooner rather than later, just like his mama, and that is what drove him to work so hard. He wanted to provide for me and Thanasis, so we would be alright after he was…'
Juliet pushes her food away and dabs at her eyes with a napkin.
'He was such a good man,' Stella laments. 'You know, he had taken out life insurance. I had never heard of such a thing at the time!' Both Juliet and Vasso frown a little.
'If he hadn't I have no idea what would have become of me and Thanasis,' Vasso says. Even now, looking back, those days seem confusing, misty.
The lawyer came to see her, and tried to explain, but she did not want to hear. A will seemed so final, somehow, so inhuman. But after Stamatis left Vasso realised that, for Thanasi’s sake, she must face the lawyers and try to make some arrangements for the future.
‘I am deeply sorry for your loss,’ the lawyer began, and Vasso had to grip the arms of the plastic-leather chair to stop herself from standing and leaving the office before any more was said.
‘I saw your husband several times.’ This caught Vasso’s attention. When had he seen Spiros? Why had she not known? ‘He was very keen to make sure you and your son were well provided for.’ He flipped over some papers in front of him as if scanning for something, before smoothing them flat and trying to look her in the ey
e. Which he could not.
‘He took out some heavy life insurance. I need not bore you with the details, but it is sufficient for you to know that the taverna, as he planned, is now fully paid off. There is also a small lump sum to help you until you find your feet.’
The numbness set into her limbs, and, though she heard his words, all they meant to her was that Spiros was dead. She rose and left, and it was several weeks, maybe even a few months, before she returned and asked him to explain again. During this time she mindlessly went through the motions of life without really being present. Some periods were deeply thoughtful, when she could not command her body to even rise from her bed but the processing in her head would not stop. She thought of Stamati’s situation, after Anna died, and understood better how he was not in a place to make good judgments, and she reflected how at the same time, if it was in his power, he would do all he could to ensure that no-one felt as miserable as he did. She could not have considered marrying anyone else , but then no predator like Argyro was there. Maybe if someone had come promising to care of her, and if it were not for the life insurance, things would have been different.
‘Without Spiros taking out life insurance I would not have the taverna to lease out and nor could I have bought the kiosk,' Vasso says.
It is heavy and sad to think of these events. Some days, she can think of nothing else, and at these times she has discovered that it’s best to talk about something, anything – find something to laugh about, even the silliest, most trivial thing. Right now she has something else to think about that is big, something so good it makes her chuckle just considering it.
'Ah, Juliet,' she says with renewed energy. 'And you too, Stella, I have news for you both! About Thanasis!'
Chapter 38
Stella's mood lifts immediately but Juliet still seems sad.
