He didn’t say anything for several long minutes.
I climbed into my bed and tucked myself under the covers as silent tears spilled down my cheeks.
The mattress dipped, and Declan slid into the bed beside me.
“Go away,” I choked out.
He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled my back flush against his chest.
“I’m a bastard.”
“I know.”
“And I don’t deserve you.”
“Glad you’re finally realizing that.”
I swiped at the tears on my cheeks and tried to pull away from him, but his grip was iron tight.
“But I love you.”
I sucked in a breath. He—what?
I froze, suddenly unable to form any coherent thoughts or words.
He didn’t say anything else, just settled in beside me with his arm wrapped tightly around my body and his legs now tangled with mine. I listened as his breathing slowly evened out and realized the exact moment when he fell asleep.
Declan told me he loved me. The bond that connected us flared to life at his words, and I suddenly realized, I believed him.
3
Aria
I rolled over and found myself pressed firmly against the muscled planes of Declan’s chest.
A deep rumbling sound came from him that closely resembled a purr. My eyes widened, and I shoved away from him. I hadn’t judged the amount of space around me appropriately.We’d shifted to my side of the bed in our sleep, placing me right on the edge, so when I shoved away from him, I wound up falling out of bed and landed in a heap on the floor.
I swore.
Declan peered over the edge of the bed at me with a smug expression. His eyes were bright and dancing with humor. “Good morning.”
He gave me a sly, feline grin, clearly pleased with himself over something. What, I wasn’t sure.
“Hi,” I said. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and tried to ignore Declan’s eyes on me.
I shivered.
“How’d you sleep?”
I opened my mouth to answer with, “Fine,” when I realized I felt better than fine. I felt great! The aches in my muscles were gone, my head was clear, and I felt fully rested. Something I hadn’t felt in a long time.
“I slept really well.”
Declan smiled. “Better than usual?” He lifted a suggestive brow.
"Maybe," I said hesitantly. I wondered if my better than normal sleep had anything to do with the mate bond and being in close proximity to one's supposed mate.
If that were the case, it would explain Declan’s smug expression.
He made a satisfied grunt as though giving himself credit for my restful sleep.
I rolled my eyes and stood up from the floor. I moved to the dresser to retrieve a pair of pants and …I groaned. Underwear. I couldn’t believe I’d slept next to Declan in an oversized shirt without any underwear.
“Something the matter?” he called from the bed. I turned to glance at him over my shoulder.
“Nope, not at all.” I tried to hide the heat that crept up my neck, but his smug expression let me know he was fully aware I was lying.
I pulled out the dresser drawer and grabbed the first bra and underwear I saw before grabbing a pair of soft black yoga pants and a fitted purple shirt. I shoved the drawer closed with my hip and retreated into the attached bathroom to get dressed.
Declan chuckled under his breath when I passed him but didn’t say anything.
I shut the door behind me, making sure to secure the lock before slumping to the ground with my clothes in my hands.
What was I doing? What did this mean? Did it mean anything at all?
“Shit, get it together, Aria,” I muttered.
"I can hear you, you know," Declan called through the door.
"Stop eavesdropping on me." I let my head fall back against the door.
He gave a low chuckle. “That’s a bit difficult when you’re a shifter.”
I cursed again, this time under my breath, but I still heard his laugh behind the door. Stupid shifter senses.
When I emerged from the bathroom, fully clothed, it was to find the room completely empty.
My heart plummeted to my stomach. Where did he go?
I bit my lip and stared at the still rumpled comforter on my bed. Stupid Declan. Stupid hormones and feelings.
I started to make the bed, wanting to erase any evidence that I’d lain in his arms and felt safe.
I needed to get it together. I had bigger problems than my love life.
The door swung open, making me jump. Instinctively I reached for my daggers at my waist before realizing that they weren’t there.
Damn, I’d have to figure out what happened to them and would likely need a replacement set. I worried my lower lip. They were irreplaceable, passed down from my Papa to me and had been in my family for generations. I sighed. He would be so disappointed.
Declan strode into the room, fully dressed and freshly showered. Small droplets of water clung to the white-blond strands of his hair and his shirt was sticking to him, his body still clearly wet.
“What—”
“James stopped by. I have a meeting with the clan Alphas in ten minutes.”
“Oh.” I stood there staring at him. “Okay.” I wasn’t sure what response he’d been looking for. He grinned and walked towards me. I drew back slightly but managed not to take any physical steps away from him.
He stopped when he was maybe two inches away, effectively invading my personal space.
“Is there something you need?” I asked.
Without any warning, he leaned down and brushed his lips across mine.
Fire immediately surged beneath my skin and the sensation of vibrations echoed inside of me. I jerked away from him and cursed. The floor where I’d stood was scorched and the cloying scent of smoke permeated the space.
All of a sudden my head began to pound. I brought my hand up and pressed it against my forehead, distantly realizing that small flames licked my fingers and forearm.
Shit, not again.
"Just a goodbye kiss," he said as he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.
I couldn’t respond.
“Aria—”
“I’m—fine,” I gritted out. “Might—need—to—get Inarus.” The strain in my voice was evident.
He didn’t have to be told twice. I heard my bedroom door slam closed and less than three minutes later heard it open as Declan, followed closely by Inarus, came into my room.
I turned to face them both. “I’m trying to keep my breathing even, and I’m trying to stay calm, but the flames won’t go away. My skin feels like it’s crawling, not in a bugs icky kind of way, but like when you sit in a car with a subwoofer, and the music is blaring. How do I make it stop?” My words left me in a rush, but I didn’t sound as hysterical as I would have expected. Yay me!
“What happened?”
“I don’t know. One second I was fine and feeling normal and then…” I trailed off and shook my head.
“Were you doing or thinking about anything that frightened you. Did you have a nightmare?”
“No and no.”
“Aria, abilities can be brought on subconsciously when you’re frightened, angry, or aroused. What happened right before this?” I bit my lower lip and let my eyes stray to Declan who stood there like an idiot with a grin on his face. Inarus’ gaze followed mine.
“You two were…” He didn’t finish, and I could tell that whatever he was thinking didn’t make him happy.
“He kissed me,” I blurted out. “I wasn’t expecting it and—” I stopped myself from saying anything else. Why me? Why did the guy I had kinda sorta liked have to be in the same room as the guy I was kinda sorta mated to, which basically meant married?
I groaned. This could not get any more awkward.
“Okay. Did the kiss frighten, anger, or arouse you?”
“What?!” What the hell kind of question was th
at?
“Look, we’re going to need to figure out why you’re reacting this way so we can figure out a way to make it stop to make sure it doesn’t happen again.”
“No.”
“No?”
I shook my head. “No. You do not get to ask me that kind of question, and you—“ I waved my hand at Declan, “have a meeting to get to. So go away. Now.”
Declan inclined his head, but the smug look on his face never left. “I won’t be long.”
“Out!”
He winked at me, but thankfully left. I rubbed my shoulders and glared at the flames dancing across my skin.
“Do you—”
“No. I don’t want to answer your question. I honestly don’t even know. I was surprised. That’s about all I can figure out right now, so what I’d like is for you to shut up, shield me so I don’t break or burn anything, and give me a few minutes to figure this out. Okay?” I exhaled a breath.
“Okay.”
“Thank you.”
I inhaled through my nose and exhaled through my mouth while I tried to remember what Inarus had taught me.
“I think it would help if you talked your way through it,” Inarus said.
I glared at him. “How could that possibly help?”
Inarus held his hands up. “Look, all I’m saying is that your feelings where Declan is concerned are muddled. It might help to talk it out. Before you were taken, you didn’t want anything to do with him. Now, I’m not sure what you want.”
"Yeah, I'm not sure what I want either." I heaved a long-suffering sigh and stared down at my bare feet. "I thought when I was losing control it was best to think about something that didn't heighten my emotions? Wasn't that what you had suggested?” I knew I was avoiding the subject of Declan but talking to Inarus about my love life was not on my list of things that sounded like a good time.
“It was. But you’re not losing control. You’re maintaining. Nothing is broken and nothing aside from you is on fire. Figure out how you feel. Maybe if you learn to process your feelings, you won’t always be on the cusp of losing control.”
“I’m not sure you’re who I should be talking to about this.” Then again, there wasn’t really anyone that I wanted to have this conversation with.
“Would you rather someone else?”
“No. I’d rather not have to have this discussion at all.”
Inarus rolled his eyes.
He was probably right. Didn’t mean I had to like it. “What do you want me to say?”
“Work through your feelings. You started to lose control when Declan kissed you. What were you feeling leading up to the kiss?”
“I don’t know. I—”
Inarus reached out and tilted my chin up so our eyes met. “Aria. I’m not judging you. I like you. I’ve made no secret of that. But I’m not here to manipulate you or convince you to have feelings for me instead of Declan. I get it. Things are complicated. Don’t think about me or anyone else. Just focus on this. On figuring out your feelings for the sole purpose of managing your abilities.”
I took a deep breath and pulled my chin away. “I pushed him away. I didn’t want anything to do with him.” Inarus nodded. He’d been the one to help me form a mental wall to block out the bond as much as I could and keep out any emotional leaks. It hadn’t been easy, and it wasn’t perfect, but at the time, it was the only way I knew of to cope with a mate bond I never asked for. “But after Noah kidnapped me and handed me over to my mother— I shook my head.
“I don’t know what to feel. I pushed him away because I was angry.” And if I was honest with myself, because I was hurt. The sting of Declan’s betrayal had hurt more than I could have anticipated and much more than I ever could have prepared for. “I didn’t ask for the mate bond. I don’t like feeling trapped and being forced into the bond—” I rubbed at my shoulder. “I was suffocating. But now … when I’m with him, I feel safe, and when I’m away from him, it’s like a part of me is missing. I don’t know how else to describe it.”
I hated that a part of me relied on him.
“James filled me in on what a shifter mate bond is like,” he said. His blue-grey eyes were somber as he offered me a half-hearted smile.
“I hate that I had no say in it. Declan is arrogant and domineering but …” I trailed off. “I’m sorry. I know this isn’t what you want to hear.”
“Hey,” he said. “I want you to be happy. If he can do that …” Inarus shrugged his broad shoulders. “And if he can’t, I’ll be here.”
I shook my head. “I don’t know why you’ve bothered to stick around. I appreciate it, don’t get me wrong. God knows I need you right now, but you don’t have to help me. The job at Sanborn Place is yours whether you help me with all of this or not. Don’t feel obligated.”
Sanborn Place was the mercenary guild I’d inherited from Mike Sanborn, my now deceased mentor. When Mike had been alive, we’d been teeming with activity and had several mercs on retainer, but after his death, most everyone had found work elsewhere. And finding competent mercs was harder than finding authentic Mexican food in Spokane, WA.
Bringing Inarus in may have seemed like I was doing him a favor when he was down on his luck, but really, he’d been the one helping me out.
“Aria, I owe you my life. Of course I want to help you." Inarus reached out and hugged me.
I hated that he felt indebted to me. He’d helped me out of just as many jams as I’d helped him.
“I’ll always be here, okay?”
I nodded my head against his chest and inhaled the smell of rainstorms that I'd come to associate with him. "Okay."
Inarus and I had been through hell and back. In the short amount of time that we’d known each other, we’d gone from enemies to acquaintances to whatever it was that we were now. I couldn’t even begin to describe the state of our current relationship. We were friends, but also more.
Great, just one more relationship I was going to have to figure out.
4
Declan
All six Clan Alphas were in attendance when I walked into the auditorium we used for Pack meetings. Everyone had stayed close to the Compound during Noah Thorne’s visit, and no one had left after he’d made the critical mistake of disrespecting our hospitality by abducting my mate.
“I want Noah Thorne dead,” I said to the room.
Growls of agreement answered me.
I took my seat at the head of the table and watched as the rest of the Clan Alphas took theirs. James and Brock stood sentry by the doors, making sure we weren’t interrupted. I didn’t want to be away from Aria long and planned to make this as quick as possible.
“He deserves a fate worse than death for what he did,” Mathias, the Alpha for Clan Feloidea, said. His mate, Eva sat beside him, her head bowed.
A growl worked its way up my throat.
“He does,” I agreed. I was furious with the two of them for losing sight of Noah and his companion to begin with. He’d been under their watch while he was in my territory, and they’d lost him.
“Would either of you like to explain how he slipped away?” I asked. My voice was deceptively calm. Inside, my tiger paced, eager to spill blood since these two were responsible for my mate's pain and suffering.
“We have no excuse,” Eva said. She placed a hand over her mate’s to hold back his response. “We can only ask your forgiveness for our failure to this pack and to your mate,” she finished. Mathias’ lips pressed into a thin line before he nodded.
“My mate is a part of this Pack. You can offer her your apologies yourself.”
They nodded and looked away but not before I saw the flash of irritation cross Mathias’ face.
I clenched my fist and chose to ignore it. Now wasn’t the time.
Aria’s place in the Pack was still uncertain. We were moving in the right direction, but until she accepted me as her mate, publicly, the others would resent her.
They couldn’t understand why she would reject me.
They also couldn’t understand why my beast would choose a human when a mate bond had only ever been formed between two shifters before.
When I’d seen her lying there, dying, my beast had roared at the idea of a world without her in it. Until then, I’d seen her as merely an asset to exploit. I hadn’t even considered making her a true ally.
I’d been a fool.
I didn’t regret claiming her. When my fangs pierced the flesh between her neck and shoulder and the smallest drops of her blood reached my tongue, I knew.
She was mine.
“Does anyone know where Thorne is?” I asked.
Robert inclined his head, “Clan Canidae has tracked him back to Orlando, Florida. I had them pull back when he entered his own territory, but I can get you a more specific location if you’d like.”
I wasn’t surprised it was Robert’s Clan that had taken the responsibility of tracking. Robert was a Coyote, a trickster, and his Clan was made mostly of other coyotes, foxes, and jackals. No shifter liked being played a fool, but Clan Canidae took slights more personal than most. I wouldn’t be surprised if his men had toyed with Noah along the way, taking pleasure in making the man feel watched and increasing his sense of paranoia.
“No. I don’t want anyone taking any unnecessary risks. I’ll—”
“You can’t possibly be planning to go after him yourself,” Yvonne said. My eyes met her amber ones, and she quickly looked away.
I leaned back in my chair and folded my arms across my chest. “And why is that?” I asked.
“I meant no disrespect,” she rushed to say.
“I’m sure you didn’t. Why don’t you explain what you did mean.” There was a warning in my voice.
She shifted uncomfortably in her seat before turning her gaze toward me. Her eyes focused on my left shoulder. She was smart enough not to try and challenge me in my current mood, or any other mood for that matter. I was Alpha for a reason, and I ruled the Pacific Northwest Pack with an iron fist and had been doing so for the past nine years.
“What I meant to say was that you are needed here, in the Compound. It would be best if you sent another in your stead.”
Branded by Fire: A Paranormal Urban Fantasy Series (Blood & Magic Book 4) Page 3
