by Nalini Singh
“I know.” She wouldn’t make the decision lightly. “Go on.”
As he followed the soldier who’d met them at the door, another led her to the schoolroom where Toby was doing math. “I’ll be fine now.”
Sing-Liu gave a nod. “See you around.”
Watching the other woman leave, Sascha was struck by the changes wrought over the last year and a half. The first time she’d come here, Hawke would have never allowed her to wander freely. Even now, she knew there were certain sections where she’d be denied access, but all in all, it was a definite improvement.
Toby’s teacher glanced her way right then and, a short conversation later, the boy walked out to meet her in the corridor. “What’s the matter?” he asked at once, his E senses telling him she wasn’t as calm as she appeared.
“Come with me.” She walked him to an empty classroom and, closing the door, took a seat opposite him. “Toby, I need to talk to you about Sienna.”
“Oh.” She could almost see the struggle in him. “Loyalty’s important.”
“I know, kiddo.” She took his hands. “I don’t want you to betray her. I just need the answer to one question.” A question Toby could answer better than even the adults in his family.
“Just one?”
“Just one.”
“Okay.”
She held his gaze. “Does Sienna need help?”
Toby bit his lip and nodded, the movement jerky with emotion. “She’s so afraid, Sascha. It’s breaking her in here.” He fisted a hand and circled it over his chest.
“Oh, baby.” Getting up, she knelt down to hug him, stroking her hand over his back. “Have you been trying to help?”
A nod against her, boyish arms holding on tight. “Before, she was afraid but it was okay. I could help her. But now she’s all shut up. I can’t get the rainbows inside.”
“You did good, Toby.” He’d no doubt helped Sienna far more than he realized. If the girl was splintering on the psychic plane, having a brother with empathic abilities would’ve leached off some of the pressure. But now Sienna wasn’t allowing even her adored baby brother inside. That meant serious trouble. “Okay, sweetheart, I want you to go back to class and try not to worry.”
“Will you help her?” Cardinal eyes looking solemnly into hers.
“I’ll try my hardest.” She wouldn’t lie to him. “But Sienna’s stubborn. She’ll fight me.”
That actually made Toby relax. “Yeah. She’s fighty.”
Sascha laughed. “That she is.”
Dropping Toby back in class, she made her way through the SnowDancer tunnels to Hawke’s office. She needed to speak to Sienna, and for that, she’d need Hawke’s permission. Which was going to be a hurdle in itself.
Frowning, she stopped, realizing she’d gone completely out of her way. Strange. She knew how to get to Hawke’s office, but instead she was heading toward the paintings that lined the entranceway. It would’ve been logical to turn and put herself back on the right path, but she was no longer in the Net. Logic didn’t rule supreme.
Trusting instinct and her growing abilities, she continued on toward the hallway lined with an amazing array of images of wolves at play, at rest, even in combat. She wasn’t as surprised as she should’ve been to see Sienna Lauren at the farthest end of the tunnel—the part closest the door. The teenager’s face was stark white, her free hand clenched rigidly enough to hurt. She was running the fingers of the other over what looked like some kind of a fracture in the wall.
“Sienna.” Sascha kept her tone soft, able to sense the distress coming off the girl in waves. It was the first time she’d seen her this close to breaking. Sienna had turned eighteen that summer, but except for her run-ins with Hawke, she acted with a maturity beyond her years—unsurprising, given what Sascha suspected of Sienna’s abilities. The girl’s training had to have been brutal. “Sienna,” she said again, putting a hand on the girl’s shoulder.
Sienna jerked away from the wall. “I didn’t mean to.” On the surface, it was an angry declaration. “I didn’t, Sascha.”
Sascha wasn’t close to Sienna, but she was coming to realize that as an empath, she had a shortcut to people’s trust. It was a responsibility she intended to honor . . . no matter what. “It’s okay,” she began, trying to soothe.
“No,” Sienna interrupted. “Hawke will go crazy.” There was no fear in her, just a staggering sense of having done something bad. Something very bad.
Hawke? Sascha frowned, then looked at the wall. The fracture, the crumbled paint. “You did this?” she asked with utmost gentleness, taking the girl’s hands in her own and turning them over—powdered stone clung to her skin.
“I didn’t mean to,” she said again. “I only wanted to look at them—they’re important to Hawke. I—” Her voice hitched, her breath broke. “My emotions are going haywire, Sascha. And without control, I can’t—” She cried out, wrenched her hands away. A second later, power filled the air. It was so strong, it raised the hairs on the back of Sascha’s neck.
Fear threatened to take over but she stood her ground. Panicking would just make it worse. Everything about Sienna pointed to a combat ability—which one, Sascha wasn’t sure, but one thing was certain—such Psy were very, very, very unstable until trained. Before Silence, many on the extreme end of the scale had died when their powers turned on them. “Sienna,” she said, drawing the girl’s attention. “Look at me.” She infused her voice with command, made the girl meet her eyes. “Focus.”
Sienna blinked eyes that had gone inky black, drowning the white stars, and nodded in an uncoordinated jolting motion. A minute later, her hands uncurled and the sense of power disappeared. Both of them breathed a sigh of relief. A single, clear tear escaped Sienna’s phenomenal control. Her heart twisting up, Sascha gathered the teenager close. “Shh, we’ll figure this out.”
“I’m the horror in the closet, Sascha, the nightmare even Psy hide from.” She held on tight, her face pressed to Sascha’s shoulder.
“Don’t be melodramatic.” Sascha couldn’t believe the pain contained in the fragile body she held. Sienna’s emotions were so tormented the girl was close to shattering. It made no sense, not when she had to have been fully conditioned before she left the PsyNet. “You have combat-grade abilities. It’s not limited to mental combat, is it?”
A shake of the head. “No.”
Sascha had the sense that Sienna was hiding the whole truth, but now wasn’t the time to push. “Your uncle has extremely powerful abilities—he’s learned to control them. So will you.” Judd’s stated ability was telepathy, but Sascha had a feeling that that was a front for other, deadlier gifts. The man had been an Arrow, an assassin no one ever saw until it was too late.
“I’m not like Uncle Judd.” A flat statement. “I’m worse.” No more tears, no weakness in that voice, only a truth so painful no one should have to endure it. “You know it and so do I. One slip and boom, I take out the entire den.”
Sascha knew that wasn’t teenage grandeur at work. “Your cardinal status isn’t telepathy, is it?” As with Judd, that was the skill everyone knew her to have.
A pause. The answer was less than a whisper. “No.”
My God. Sascha held the girl closer, disbelieving. Cardinal Psy with furious combat abilities were beyond deadly. Sienna could possibly take out the SnowDancer den if she lost her grip on her powers. “You’ve been trying to manage it?”
“I shut up everything inside. Everything.” Words ground out through clenched teeth. “I thought if I could hold it, just hold it, it would be fine. But it’s not.”
“Why?” she asked. “Why are you losing control this badly?”
The answer, when it came, broke Sascha’s heart.
“Hawke.” It was an almost soundless whisper.
“Oh, Sienna.” She stroked her hand over the girl’s hair, even as her mind worked at piercing speed. “Has it been cumulative?”
Sienna nodded. “The second I met him, everything crumbled, my shields,
my conditioning, everything! And Sascha, I need that conditioning. Judd showed me how to short-circuit the pain controls but I haven’t—I’m not like him, I don’t think I can stop without the pain.”
Sascha squeezed her eyes shut, sending Sienna soothing waves of reassurance. But she didn’t brush aside the girl’s words. Silence had been undertaken for a reason. It had become perverted over time, but at the start, the Protocol had been their salvation—it had saved people like Sienna, Psy who couldn’t think for the virulent strength of their gifts. It was possible the girl simply couldn’t exist without Silence.
And if that was so, it would send shock waves through both the Lauren family and the SnowDancers.
“The LaurenNet,” she said, referring to the small psychic network that linked Sienna’s entire family, “is it strong enough to survive your not being in the den?”
Sienna nodded immediately. “Marlee and Toby are settled. They won’t attempt to rejoin the PsyNet. And with Brenna in our net as well, it’s gained in strength. But I can’t leave for long—maybe a week or two. Toby’s my responsibility.”
“Of course,” Sascha said. “But you need a break, you know that. And we’re close enough that someone can drive you up here when necessary.”
“I can drive. Uncle Walker taught me.” A pause, then a slight shake of her head. “But these eyes, Sascha. We can’t hide them.”
Sascha smiled. “Sometimes, I don’t want to stick out either, so I’ve been working with our techs to develop a new type of contact lens. It’s not perfect yet, but it’s good enough—you can wear it up to a month before it needs replacing.”
Hope lit Sienna’s face. “I could be free. I mean, not leave or anything, but I could go out into the city, move about.”
“Yes.” Sascha touched her hands again. “But not until you can control yourself.”
A shaky nod. “I don’t know who can help me—Judd’s done a lot, but there’s no one else like me.”
Sascha felt a flash of worry. What if . . . ? No. Cardinal X-Psy were a myth. Even midrange Xs were rare, their gift turning on them during childhood. None but the very weak survived to adulthood. “Sienna, what’s your combat ability?”
“I can’t tell you.” Sienna’s jaw set in a way most would’ve read as stubbornness. They would’ve been wrong. It was desperation. “I can’t. No one can ever know.”
Sascha stroked her hand over the teenager’s hair again. “Don’t worry—I’m not going to withdraw my offer. But I need to know this—will you be safe around my pack?”
Sienna took long moments to think about it, strengthening Sascha’s faith in the girl. “I was cold in the Net, Sascha,” she said at last. “Really cold—maybe even colder than Judd. It’s being here, in this den, that breaks me. If you get me out of here, my conditioning should spring back.”
Sascha knew precisely what Hawke would think of that, but if Silence would keep Sienna functional, then she’d fight tooth and nail for the girl. “Did the Council know about your abilities?”
“Yes.” She swallowed. “Ming wanted me to join his Arrows, become his protégée. Then he found out I was stronger than him. And that’s when my family got the order for rehabilitation.”
“It’s not on you,” Sascha said firmly. “It’s on the Council—they made the decision to destroy their own people.”
“Sascha . . . I might have to go back.”
Both of them knew exactly what Sienna was talking about—the dark skies of the PsyNet, Silent and cold, might be the girl’s only hope.
CHAPTER 34
Riley knew he’d fucked up. Even his wolf knew he’d fucked up. What he didn’t know was how to fix things. That was what he did—he fixed things. For his family, for his pack, for everyone who mattered to him. But he had no idea in hell how to fix something so crucially important to him. Mercy had been so angry.
“Riley?”
He looked up to find Elias running toward him, sweat rolling down his temples. “How’d it go?” Eli was one of their best trackers, his nose fine-tuned in either human or wolf form.
But this time the SnowDancer soldier shook his head. “They’re smart—went straight from here to Pier 39, far as I can tell.”
“Shit.” Pier 39 was always jam-packed with people, and with the blue skies they’d had today, it was doubtless worse than usual. “The trail dead-ended?”
Eli nodded. “I didn’t say anything to the others, didn’t want to influence them in case they caught something I missed.” Said with a soldier’s calm acceptance that he was part of a team. “That cat—Kit—he’s really good. He might be able to pick up the trail again.”
But half an hour later, when Mercy called him, it was to say that Kit had only been able to get two piers farther down. “He thinks they might’ve had water transport. But we’ve got their scent now,” she said, her voice terse, businesslike. “I’m sending everyone who knows that scent to do sweeps of the city.”
“I’m doing the same.”
“Teijan’s coming over to take a sniff. Don’t shoot him.”
Teijan, Riley knew, was the Rat alpha. “Fine.”
He wanted to say something else, anything else, but she’d already hung up. Gritting his teeth, he put the phone in his pocket and—after Teijan had come and gone—decided to join in the sweeps. If the bomb makers had acted smart and gone to ground, then they wouldn’t find a fresh trail, but that didn’t mean they had to be careless.
Sascha waited until she and Lucas were almost ready to leave to pull the lid on a powderkeg of trouble. She’d already broken the rules and spoken to Sienna’s uncles—Walker and Judd had both agreed that something needed to be done. Their worry for the daughter of their lost sister was an ache beneath their skin, though neither man showed much on the surface.
“Sienna needs a break from the den,” she said point-blank to Hawke. “I’ve offered her a room at the aerie.” It was as well that Lucas had added an extra room once Julian and Roman started sleeping over on a regular basis. “I need you to release her from her duties here.”
“Hell, no!” Hawke slammed a hand on his desk. “She’s a liability. The Council gets any idea she’s alive, they’ll begin hunting the whole family.”
“It’ll only be for a week or two,” Sascha said, “and we can disguise her. She’s agreed to cut her hair, get contacts. She doesn’t even walk like a Psy anymore after almost two years in the den. She’ll fit right in.”
“Cut her hair?” Hawke repeated.
She could understand his shock. Sienna’s hair was incredibly beautiful, a rich, unique shade that burned with inner fire. It had darkened over the past year until it wasn’t truly red. Closer to port, or the dark heart of a ruby. The color was so distinctive that they’d have to bleach it before dyeing it and the process would be easier with short hair. However, Sascha intended to talk the teenager into keeping the length—it would be a psychological anchor, very necessary when everything else was falling apart around her. “You have to let her go,” she told the alpha. “She needs time to rebuild her shields.”
Hawke’s pale eyes glittered. “And why will a change in location help?”
Lucas stirred beside her, but didn’t step in between. “Because,” she said, “you won’t be there.”
Everyone went quiet. Then Hawke swore. “Damn it, Sascha. I haven’t touched her. She’s a kid.”
“I don’t think Sienna has been a child for a very long time.” She looked into his eyes. “And she’s growing up faster every day.”
Another pause fraught with anger. Hawke finally thrust a hand through his hair, blowing out a breath between pursed teeth. His eyes were bleak when he met hers again. “You’re right. Take her and help her. Maybe she’ll get over her crush.”
Sascha didn’t know why she said what she did next. “If she doesn’t?”
White lines bracketed Hawke’s mouth. “Then tell her I can’t give her what she wants.” Unspoken were the words: Because I’ve already given it to someone else. Sasc
ha felt a deep sense of loss, of pain, and knew that Hawke had lost his mate.
Lucas touched her lower back. “We’ll protect the girl,” he told the other alpha, one male to another.
Hawke nodded. “Take good care of her. And bring her back in a week or I’ll do the job myself.”
* * *
Riley made his way back to the den a little after six. The sweeps had netted nothing, but had served to make the populace aware of a threat in their midst. It would make them more vigilant, watchful. He’d discussed a public broadcast with Mercy—though “discuss” was probably the wrong word for the clipped words they’d exchanged—but they’d decided that with this little information, they risked starting a panic.
Instead, they’d told their people to quietly get the word out to those they trusted. The Alliance had to be finding it increasingly difficult to procure a hiding place—the stress might lead to mistakes. And when it did, the changelings would be waiting. This shift, that responsibility was in Indigo and Nate’s hands.
Deciding he didn’t particularly want to talk to anyone, he parked his vehicle on the very edge of den territory, shifted into wolf form, and loped off into the trees. He caught the scents of several other packmates along the way—Eli’s whole family, including little Sakura; D’Arn with his mate, Sing-Liu; Tai and Judd.
That latter pairing would’ve normally made him grin. Tai thought Judd walked on water. The boy turned up at every training session and followed Judd’s merciless discipline without a single word of complaint. Riley and the other lieutenants, including Judd, all knew Tai had both the mental and physical strength to make lieutenant after he grew up a bit more. Right now, he still had the edges of boyhood on him.
He spied the faint hint of Hawke’s trail and veered off in the opposite direction. The last person he wanted to see right now was one of the very few men who could beat him into submission and make him talk. He didn’t want to talk, didn’t want to consider why he was so angry and frustrated . . . and lost.
But Hawke had other ideas. The alpha wolf moved out in front of him, having muddied his trail through experience and trickery. Riley wasn’t pleased to see him. Baring his teeth, he warned Hawke to get the hell out of his way. Right now, all he wanted to do was brood. Or failing that, draw blood.
