Blame It on the Mistletoe

by Nicole Michaels

  “And he did, didn’t he?” Alex asked. Praying she’s say no, but he knew better. After the look of terror in her eyes the other night, he knew that she’d been hurt. She stiffened in his arms, and he braced himself for what she would say next.

  “My period was late once, I was so afraid I was pregnant. The thought of having Chad’s baby, imagining living that life forever, or him snapping and hurting a child. … It scared me, and I packed up my car one day while he was at work with as much of my stuff that I could manage.

  “He came home early and caught me before I could leave. I didn’t know what to do. Out of fear I told him I thought I might be pregnant and wanted to visit my family. He lost it, I still don’t know what he was more upset about, the fact that I might be pregnant or that it was obvious I was leaving him. He dragged me into the house and …”

  “Tell me, Brooke. What did he do?”

  “Nothing. That’s the thing, if he’d ever choked me, or broken a rib. If he’d raped me, I think I would have run sooner. But that night he threw me down on the floor, and vowed I would never, ever leave him or I would be sorry. I just stared up at him. He was enraged, and I just couldn’t understand what the hell I was doing there staring up at this asshole while I was on the floor. Where he’d thrown me. It was ridiculous.” Brooke paused and Alex had to keep himself from jumping up and hunting the bastard down. “My car was still packed and at three in the morning I snuck out of the house and left. I called Ryan the minute I got out of town. I was a mess, crying and telling him everything, what I’d been dealing with for several years. My parents still think I just came home because we broke up.”

  Alex swallowed hard, his insides vibrating with anger. He was slightly relieved that she hadn’t suffered physically as bad as he’d imagined, but it killed him knowing what she’d gone through, and he hated that he couldn’t fix it. “Brooke, look at me. What he did, it was definitely abusive. Do you believe that for sure now?”

  She nodded her head, her eyes glistening in the dark. “I do, although it took some therapy to get me to this point. I think a lot of what I had to work through was why I’d excused his behavior for so long. I just kept confusing his … problems with love. Gosh, how embarrassing to be having this conversation. I had a normal life until that point, I wouldn’t have imagined myself capable of being that girl.”

  Her voice broke on those last words, and Alex pulled her into his chest and wrapped his arms around her. She cried quietly, and the sound of it nearly broke him in two. They laid there so close they were nearly one body, and it felt so good to hold her like that.

  “What are you thinking?” she asked with a sniffle. “Do you wish you didn’t know? Do you think I’m stupid?”

  “Hell no, are you kidding me? What I’m thinking is that I’d like to find that motherfucker and do some serious damage to his face.”

  “You’d scare the shit out of him if he saw you coming.”

  “Damn right I would.” He squeezed her hard, loving the feel of her naked skin against his. She laughed, and he drank in the sound of it.

  “I’m glad you told me,” he said.

  She snuggled into him, her legs tangling with his. “Me, too.”

  **

  There were nine shopping days left until Christmas and Brooke was excited. Her store was doing well, she had another full class tonight, and she’d spent almost all of yesterday with Alex.

  He was unfortunately flying home to Oregon this afternoon for a while. The company he worked for had a group booked for a two-day hiking trip, and his friend who was also the owner had plans to go home to Texas the weekend before Christmas. Alex had promised Brooke he would come back and see her again right after Christmas. The news had shocked and delighted her.

  She’d been too afraid to ask him what was going on between them. She didn’t want to push her luck by asking for some sort of vocal proclamation or commitment. She was happy doing what they were doing, but she knew the truth. She was madly in love with Alex Coleman. It wasn’t a surprise that it hadn’t taken her long; she’d had a major crush on him in her youth, so he’d already been ten steps ahead of the game just by being himself.

  Brooke cranked up the holiday music on her iPod and hooked it into the speakers behind the counter. She’d always loved the way it put her in the mood and reminded her of the Christmases of her youth. She’d had a good childhood, she had to admit. Her parents weren’t perfect—they expected a lot, they were old-fashioned, but they were good people.

  Alex had asked her if she’d consider telling them about Chad, and she was thinking about telling her mother. If for nothing else, she wanted her to stop mentioning his name.

  She’d been open for a little over an hour when Ted Orsman entered her shop. “Hello, Mr. Orsman. To what do I owe the pleasure?” she asked with a smile.

  “This is a nice little shop you have in here, Brooke. Beverly told me you are quite the entrepreneur. I had my doubts when she first showed me the old bucket she purchased here, but I have to say, it looks cute sitting on the hearth holding firewood.”

  Brooke laughed. “It’s all in the perspective, right? And I’m glad you like it. Things are going well.”

  “Good, I’m glad to hear it. Say, listen. I just wanted to run something by you that I’m not sure you were aware of.”

  “Okay.”

  “You do know that Alex Coleman recently inherited this building, don’t you?”

  Her mouth dropped open. What? She quickly shut it again. “No, I’m afraid I didn’t know.” She felt ashamed that she had to admit that, but it was pointless to pretend she wasn’t shocked, it had been so obvious by her immediate response.

  “Oh shoot, I’m sure he meant to tell you, or … maybe he didn’t. You see, he’s had a very generous offer from a developer in Kansas City. Over a million dollars, and you can imagine, one just doesn’t turn down an offer like that.”

  “I see.” Her stomach churned, all of her conversations with Alex flipping through her mind. Why hadn’t he told her? Over a million dollars?

  “I’m sure you can have a shop just as lovely in another location,” she heard Mr. Orsman’s voice say.

  Except there was no other location, at least not in Preston. Spots on Main Street never really went up for rent as people made arrangements before tenants moved out since retail space was in such demand. And she couldn’t imagine owning a business anywhere but Preston, where she felt safe. Her parents were here … and Ryan. He was clearly the only man her age that cared about her. Her brother, how pitiful.

  She didn’t want Mr. Orsman in her presence one more minute, his over-the-top false concern was making her sick. “I certainly appreciate you coming in. I’m sure it will be dealt with soon.” She walked toward the door, signaling to him that she wanted him to go.

  “I am sorry, Brooke. Sometimes these things—”

  “Mr. Orsman, thank you. No apologies or explanations are necessary.”

  He nodded and left the building. Brooke laid a hand against her stomach, emotions warning inside her. She needed to think, because she wasn’t sure what she felt more, anger, fear, or grief. They were all strong, all threatening to drown her. She turned around to view her shop from the front door. It was so pretty and welcoming, and it was … hers. So much work, so much hope, and so much money. How could she be so happy one minute imagining what could be, and then so lost the next? What would she do without all of this? How would she ever pay back the loan? She’d have to try and sell off all the inventory, try to expand her online presence. Or possibly consider renting a space in Kansas City. There were co-op style shops downtown that did quite well.

  Oh god, just the thought of it all made her ache. She pushed out a long breath and went behind the counter to look at a calendar. What kind of time frame was she dealing with? A few days? A week? A month? And why the hell hadn’t Alex said anything? That question kept repeating in her mind?

  What had the whole past couple of weeks been about if he’d known a
ll along that he was going to sell this building right from underneath her? There was absolutely no reason to get involved with her; if he was the owner, he could kick her out with no questions asked. So, why?

  Brooke swiped a tear from her eyes and then headed for the bathroom. She needed to make as much money as she could before she had to close. Hopefully she could stay open until Christmas, hold her next few classes, and make enough to pay off a portion of her loan. Then she’d just have to live with Ryan while she figured out her next move. That sounded horrible—although she loved him to pieces, she did not love the idea of living with him.

  But he would let her, she knew that. Ryan would do anything for her.

  ELEVEN

  It felt good for Alex to finally check out of that damn hotel room he’d been in for over two weeks. He’d talked Mr. Bowman down to an extended stay price, but still, spending a grand for a hotel room wasn’t really what he’d had in mind when he first flew down. Then again, a lot of things about this trip had not been what he’d had in mind. Brooke Abbott being at the top of that list.

  Just the thought of her as he loaded his luggage into his car made him grin. They’d said their good-byes already, but he had a few hours until his flight and he wanted to see her once more before he left. Last night he’d lain in bed imagining all the things he wanted to say to her, all the plans that flashed through his brain coming into focus to form one monumental thought: He was in love with her. Stupid in love with her, and he wasn’t afraid of it, which was a miracle in and of itself. Alex had never really loved anyone before Brooke, and yet the minute the idea popped into his head he knew it was true.

  She was beautiful, yes; she always had been, but it was more than that. She made him happy, really happy. The kind of feelings he didn’t know were possible. A happiness that made it possible to say no to a million dollars, because that’s what he intended to do. He owned the building that the woman he loved used to make her dreams come true—there was nothing more perfect than that.

  He hated that he had to leave right before Christmas, which was a little over a week away, but Alex had promised his friend and boss, Miller, that he’d be there to cover a group so the guy could have some time off with his family. It was a commitment Alex wouldn’t think of backing out on, so he had to go back to Oregon. But the company closed from Christmas Eve until New Year’s, so he’d be back, and he couldn’t wait to spend that time with Brooke. He was glad that he would have some time alone to process these new feelings, and hopefully when he came back he’d be ready to tell her.

  He walked down Main Street, past the bakery and hair salon, toward 100 Main. It was still unbelievable that this magnificent structure, with all its quirks, belonged to him. It was old as hell, and really didn’t hold many good memories for him, but now with Brooke inside things were different. He stepped across the street, dodging the “Road Closed” sign, and onto the sidewalk. He loved the way she’d decorated it to look like a gingerbread house. He entered the shop, the bell signaling his arrival, and he was instantly enveloped by the scents of Christmas on steroids.

  Walking inside, he couldn’t help the huge smile that covered his face when they met eyes. Damn, he was just so happy to see her. And then he really looked at her. Her normally bright green eyes were puffy and dull, rimmed with red. She looked down quickly, her mouth going into a straight line, and just like that he knew the worst thing had happened. She knew. She had to know.

  “Brooke.” He rushed over to the counter. “Look at me, Brooke.” He quickly realized they weren’t alone, and he could see a few customers shopping out of the corner of his eye, but he didn’t care if he was making a scene. She wouldn’t look at him so he lowered his voice. “Talk to me, damn it.”

  “Don’t you dare cuss at me.” Her voice was only a whisper, but full of venom. “Not in my shop, not anywhere.”

  “I’m sorry. I … please.” He would beg if he needed to. “Please come outside and talk to me.”

  “No, I have nothing to say to you. In fact, it appears I will be very busy the next few weeks packing everything in here up. So you should probably go.”

  He was in shock, never would he have guessed that Brooke could be so mad. He deserved her anger, and a lot more. He felt guilty as hell.

  “Brooke let me explain, will you?” She headed for the back, and he didn’t miss the way she swiped at her eyes. He followed, the two ladies eyeing them warily as they passed. Alex gave them a tight smile and nod. “Brooke, stop,” he hissed.

  When she passed the curtain he grabbed her arm and swung her around. “Stop running from me and listen.”

  “No. I won’t stop running and I most certainly will not listen.” She yanked her arm free of him and pointed her finger at his chest. “You lied to me.”

  “I never lied.” He knew he was grasping.

  “It was a lie by omission, you asshole, but it is still a lie. You let me go on and on about how much I love my store, and love old things, and love this building. What the hell is wrong with you? What the hell is wrong with me?” She threw her hands up in the air and let them land on her head. “I knew all along you weren’t good for me. You’re Alex Coleman, you have sex with lots of girls, you break hearts, you cause trouble, you leave. And apparently you lie.” He was completely dumbfounded, unable to speak, or even believe what was happening. Just a few moments ago he’d been so happy, ready to kiss her good-bye. Now she stared at the floor, a tear rolling down each cheek, and her voice cracked as she went on.

  “You lied to me. I thought … I don’t know what I thought. But this felt right, which meant … I trusted what I wanted, I trusted myself. I thought I’d finally known what I was doing when it came to a man. Damn it, Alex, I trusted you!”

  “And you can trust me, Brooke. Please. Let me explain.” He felt like shit, her words were killing him, and he hated the way she wouldn’t look at him.

  “Brooke, are you back here?” Ryan’s voice came from the hall and then he was bursting through the curtain, fully uniformed and itching to read someone their Miranda rights. “What the hell are you doing here, Coleman?”

  “I’m talking to Brooke. Can you give us a minute?” Alex wasn’t going to let Ryan fuck this up for him.

  “Don’t leave, Ryan. I want him to go,” Brooke said, her words full of panic and desperation, wounding him more than she’d ever know.

  “Brooke, don’t do this.” He wanted to be the guy who saved her from the world. “Why the hell did you call your brother?”

  She turned hard, her eyes wide, finally staring him down, but full of so much pain. “I called him because he’s the only man that I can trust in the whole world. When I need protection from selfish guys, he’s there for me. He wants me to be happy, and safe, and, fortunately for me, not lied to.”

  “Alex, you need to go,” Ryan said, and there was almost a hint of pity in his voice.

  “We’re not done here, Brooke. You’re mad at me, I get it. I deserve it. I fucked up. But we are going to talk. This isn’t over.”

  “It’s absolutely one hundred percent over.”

  Could he blame her? She was right, he’d had a million opportunities to tell her the truth. Shit, he’d even wanted to. He’d needed someone to talk about it all with. But he hadn’t wanted to hurt her. And yet, that was exactly what he’d done. No fucking surprise. He’d never had a real relationship, it only made sense that when he finally tried to make a go of it that he would mess it all up.

  **

  Brooke was operating in survival mode by that Thursday. She didn’t know what to do about her shop, what to plan for, what to think, where to live. In a matter of one day everything she thought she was doing had been scattered to hell. Her store, her classes, and her jewelry … that had been the plan. The only one, there was no plan B, no backup. No exit strategy. Her only goal was to fake it until she made it, to work her ass off until she was a success.

  Now … she had no idea. She was lost, and that was an incredibly scary place t
o be. Under normal circumstances she might have been able to strategize, but she was also dealing with a broken heart. She’d been such an idiot to believe for just one second that there was something special going on between her and Alex Coleman, it was the stupidest thing she’d ever done. Which was saying something considering her past with men. But she’d known exactly who he was right from the start; she’d watched his history play out before her eyes, watched him sleep around, get arrested for being an idiot. But she’d convinced herself he was just young then, that he’d changed. She was wrong.

  Alex had left her three messages. She’d listened to the first one, begging her to pick up the phone, to listen to what he had to say. But she couldn’t. He’d be stupid if he didn’t take the money. She couldn’t understand why he hadn’t just told her. She wasn’t an idiot, she would have been able to understand his situation if he’d just given her the chance to do so. But obviously he hadn’t trusted her, and because of that, now she didn’t trust him. How could she?

  And with only six shopping days until Christmas she was starting to get nervous. She hadn’t yet asked Ryan if she could move in with him, although she knew he wouldn’t turn her away. But her checking account was barely in the black since everything she was making was spent as fast as it came in. The cost to maintain a retail space was unbelievable. Rent, utilities, loan payments, insurance, and that didn’t include the product for her projects. She’d been so sure that she’d finally turned the corner and was going to start getting somewhere soon. She’d felt it in her gut, the future had looked bright and happy. Now it was all uncertainty and darkness. And so lonely.