by Smoke, Lucy
“Hey, Alex,” Texas said.
“Good to see you,” Bellamy greeted.
Alex smiled, but it was small, not at all like his usual wide grin.
“Harlow,” he said, directing his attention to me, “do you mind if we talk in your room?” I looked to Knix, but he didn’t say anything. I didn’t know what else to say, so I nodded. Alex stood and followed me.
* * *
My bedroom felt tiny with Alex in it. He sat at the desk and I sat on my bed, but we were barely a few feet away from each other. We might as well have been sitting side by side. I stared at the light purple comforter that someone had changed out for me since I had been gone. I suspected it was Knix. He seemed to like doing laundry when he was thinking – or really any sort of chore. It baffled me.
"Knix told me about what happened last night," Alex began. I had rarely ever heard him so stern and serious. I raised my eyes from my comforter and looked at him head on. "Do you know the girl's name?" he asked. I shook my head and he sighed. Silence reigned.
Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I met his gaze and sat straighter. "What's going to happen now?" I asked.
He shook his head. "A team will be sent in just to check things out," he replied. "It's a very serious accusation. None of the girls have been willing to let Marv interview them. The families are worried."
"And the police?" I was shaky as I asked because, truthfully, a part of me didn't want the police to be called. I wanted to go. I wanted to be the one to find whoever hurt that girl from the club. It's not like I would be super badass and take him down in handcuffs or anything. We weren't cops. I wasn't a cop. I just wanted to kick him in the balls...while wearing heels...a couple hundred times.
Alex sighed. "Like I said, Harlow, it's a very serious accusation–"
"Do you believe me?" I asked suddenly. "Do you believe her?"
Alex stared at me. "I have to look at this objectively, Harlow. A person's first instinct is to believe the victim. So, yes, in theory, I believe you and her, but I also know that my judgment is clouded. I trust you, kiddo, of course I believe you. I know what kind of young woman you are – trustworthy, hardworking, reliable."
"I want to go," I said.
Alex looked at me like he was sizing me up for something, not looking at all surprised. "Why?" he asked.
I blinked. I don't know what I had been expecting, but I wasn't so sure it had been that. I broke his gaze and looked down, thinking. "I want to go because of her."
It hurt to picture her face again and made the anger return full force, but I did so anyway. The girl had been withered in my mind, on the edge of a long platform that drifted into nothingness. I could see it in her eyes and it scared me. I finally realized why. Her eyes had reminded me of my mom's...back before...when things were bad and when she was different. When the medicine hadn't been working as well and I hadn't been around to help as much.
"Okay," Alex said.
I jerked my eyes up to meet his. "Okay?" I asked.
He nodded. "Okay," he repeated. "I already told Knix that I thought this team would be the best to deal with it. Black teams always have the most diversity. He told me you demanded to be included and I wanted to know why. I think I see why."
There was no way I had said my thoughts aloud...right?
Alex smiled at me as he stood and placed a wide palm on my shoulder. "Knix will handle everything. Just follow your team lead and trust in your teammates. Let them lead and teach you. Lean on them for support." His hand slipped away as he headed for the door, but a moment later, Alex paused – his hand on the knob. "When you return," he said, looking back at me, "I want you to think about what your next step is."
"What do you mean?" My hands gripped the comforter, squeezing, unsure.
His smile faded. "Everyone has their niche, Harlow. I want you to think about finding yours. If you want to go to school, let us know. We can help."
"O-okay," I said shakily.
He opened the door. "And Harlow?" Alex twisted to look at me over his shoulder. "Don't kill the boys, Yeah?"
I laughed as he shut the door behind him. I was still laughing when I let myself fall back against the warm fluffy pillows. Me kill them? I thought. Fat chance.
Chapter 11
Soft music played on my newly acquired computer as it had when I went to bed. The screen was pitch black and the silky tunes slid over my ears as I rolled over and nuzzled against a warm chest. I blinked bleary eyes awake at that. I knew that I had gone to bed alone. Marv hadn't come home for dinner. I looked up at the face of the body next to me and he stared down at me, his normally bright, cheerful eyes dark and foreboding. I pulled away.
"When did you get in?" I whispered, afraid to break the spell that was cast over the room. His eyes glittered at me dangerously and I scooted even further back. Slowly sitting up against the pillows.
When he didn't answer me, I frowned. "Are you okay?" I asked.
After several moments of frightening silence punctuated only by the soft music, he sat up. I realized he was still dressed for the day, wearing slightly wrinkled slacks, though I could still see where the iron creases were. It was obvious he had been in them for several hours. His jacket was missing, but he wore a white button-down under a black Burberry cashmere sweater – had he slept in his clothes?
"No," he said gruffly, "I'm not fucking okay." Startled, I backed up as he rose over me. "I thought at least Alex would fuckin see that you're not ready to go into a mission like this."
"The etiquette camp?" I clarified, confused. "What are you talking about? You wanted this to get checked out. You've been pushing for this from the very beginning. You let me go with you on some of the interviews."
"Yes," he said. "Interviews." The way he emphasized the word left me with a bad feeling. "I did not intend for you to go in a way that was dangerous. You're still in fucking training for fuck's sake. Knix and Alex are both insane."
I blinked up at him, shocked by his use of foul language. Sure, I slipped every now and then. The guys did occasionally. But I had never heard Marv sound so...deeply enraged. He leveraged himself over me. One of his legs swung over the both of mine until I was pinned beneath him. "I don't want you going," he said. "Turn it down."
"Turn it – no!" I hissed at him when I realized what he was asking me to do. "No way in hell," I said firmly. "You," I punctuated with a poke to his chest, "were the one so adamant about checking this out."
Marv reached up and snagged my hand. His ocean blue eyes sparkling dangerously. "Not with you at risk," he said and his tone was dark – frightening.
"What about the last mission we went on–Grayson–" He growled when I said that name and I rolled my eyes. "You were perfectly fine with that mission."
"I was there," he snapped. "I was able to keep you safe. You were beside me almost every fucking second. If not with me, then you were with one of the others. If you do this, it'll be different. You'll be on your own for ninety percent of the groundwork."
That was new information to me. "You're not going?"
He pressed down, closer to my chest. "Oh, don't you fucking worry, Sunshine." He said my nickname through gritted teeth. He was still angry, but it was his word – his pet name for me – he wasn't the kind of person to give that up. "I'll be there. All of us will be there. But we won't be with you 24/7 like we were last time. If anything happens to you, we might not–"
"Marv." I reached up and gripped his arms as he hovered over me and he sank even deeper against me as I said his name. His face was mere inches above my own. I tried not to stare at his lips, but I could feel his breath on mine. "I'll be fine. I have to do this, and you have to let me."
"I don't like it," he replied, reaching up and gripping my each of my wrists as I moved my hands to his face. I cupped his cheeks as he held his weight with his elbows planted on the bed. We were so close, impossibly so. I could feel his breath on my lips.
"At some point, I'm going to have to go on my own. You can't
be around me forever." I tried cracking a smile. "And let's face it," I said, "I'm not a china doll."
He didn't smile back. Instead, Marv gripped my hands and brought them back to the bed, pressing them into the mattress on either side of my head. He lowered his face until my breathing sped up and words choked in my throat. “What would happen if someone got on top of you like this?” he asked, his face a hard mask. “What would you do?”
“I would defend myself,” I replied. My voice shook, though. I could feel him all over me, his breath against my cheek.
“What if you were sleeping? Drugged? What then?” he demanded.
“Marv.” My voice dropped to a whisper. There was something going on between us, something intimate. “Someone has to go.”
“It doesn’t have to be you.” His eyes glittered in the darkness, his voice shaking. “You don’t have to go.”
“If it’s not me then it’ll be someone just like me,” I replied. “I want to go. I want to help. You started us down this path. Don’t you think those girls – that girl – needs someone to stand up for them. To find out what’s going on?”
He was quiet for several moments. The tension between us pulled taut, like a tightly stretched string almost ready to break. My heart pounded. My breathing caught several times. I knew if he let go of my hands, they would be shaking. His own palms pressed into me, holding me down as his body hovered over me. I wanted him to let me go so I could hug him. I had this incessant need to pull him close, to hold him. I wanted to reassure him that I would be alright, that nothing would happen to me. I didn’t know if it would be a lie, though. There was every possibility that going to the etiquette camp could end up with me getting hurt.
I could feel him trembling as he spoke next. "You will do every fucking thing we tell you to do," he stated. "Nod your head if you understand." I nodded.
"Good." Still, he didn’t move. In fact, he pressed more fully into me. His hands spread out and his fingers intertwined with mine. “All I want is for you to stay safe.”
“I will be,” I said. “I’m not going alone.”
He pulled back and looked down at me, one of his hands released mine so that he could brush back some of my hair with cool fingers. “You’re so special, Harlow,” he whispered in the darkness of the room. “I don’t think you even realize how special you are.”
I tried to shrug. “I’m just me,” I said.
He shook his head. “No, you’re not,” he said. “You’re a lot more than whatever you think you are. You’re this blinding light – we all see it. You’re so bright and strong. You can’t see it because that light is you.” He leaned down, his chest brushing my breasts. My breath caught again, and my heart skipped a beat. Marv paused, hovering just above me. “I have to know that you’re okay with this.” I was so focused on the electricity sparking in the air around us, my brain short circuited. I wasn’t sure if he meant that he wanted me to be okay with going to the camp or if he wanted me to be okay with him kissing me. Either way, I nodded my head. I wanted both.
With that, Marv opened his mouth and his lips came down against mine. My own parted on a gasp and his tongue swept in. At first the kiss was rough and needy, like he was a fiery storm coming to me for some sort of tranquility. He kissed me with unexpected ferocity, a wild animal staking a claim on me. My stomach lit up with butterflies and sank into him like he was into me. My hands were pressed down to the bed, but, oh, how I wanted to push them into his hair, hold his head to me. Marv pulled back, letting me up for air for a brief moment before he dove back down.
I writhed on the bed beneath him, his knee coming up between my legs, pushing them out until they were spread enough for both of his knees to fit between. He released my other hand – still kissing me as he jerked me up against his chest. I was sitting on his lap, my legs spread around him. I locked my ankles behind his back and returned his kiss with just as much enthusiasm. I knew I was breathing hard, but I couldn't get enough oxygen. He was sucking it all away.
Marv wrapped his arms around me and finally – finally! – I was able to sink my fingers into his hair. I gripped his head and held him close like I wanted. He arched up beneath me, rubbing me between my legs and I moaned into his mouth. I gasped as he pulled back and those dark, glittering eyes of his took me in, roving over me with an intensity that made my breath catch in a whole new way.
The kiss was demanding and surprising, but I loved every second of it. Even when it turned into something new. Even when Marv slowed, and his kisses rained down on me like embers from a sparkling fireworks show. Everywhere he touched me – his hands on my back, running down my arms, his lips against mine – shot sparks through my skin into my veins. I shuddered in his arms, clutching him tightly to me. My mind turned a corner and disappeared. I couldn’t think, I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t freaking breathe.
"Marv..." I whispered, panting. He stared at me and I at him.
"You have to stay safe, Sunshine." He barely managed to choke out the words. "You have to take everything Knix and Bellamy have taught you when you go in there. The job is important – but you're more important. If you're in danger, you tell us, and we'll get you out. Promise me that and I’ll let you go."
I found myself stroking the sides of his face. I leaned forward and kissed his lips once...twice...a third time. I held onto him.
"I'm going to be okay, Marv," I whispered. "Everything is going to be okay."
“Promise me,” he ordered.
“Okay,” I replied. “I promise.”
He clutched me to him and when my legs unlocked from behind his back, Marv rolled us across the bed until I was spread over the top of his chest. "Don't you want to change?" I asked, leaning up.
Marv stiffened, and I felt something else stiffen as I brushed against his groin. I blinked at him, wide-eyed. "Not...no, I'm fine, Sunshine," he said through gritted teeth. I knew this time, though, he wasn't angry.
"I-I'm sorry," I stuttered, feeling uncomfortable and unsure.
He sighed and patted my head, rolling me to lay next to him. "Don't worry about it, Sunshine," he said, kissing the top of my head. "Get some sleep."
I don't know how long either of us laid there with the soft music from my laptop playing in the background, but I was sure that by the time the sun rose, and light began filtering through my bedroom window, neither of us had slept a wink. It was going to be a long day.
* * *
As we walked into the airport, my eyes strayed. I had never actually been in one before and the cool shiny floors and masses of people sprinting in every direction had me enthralled. Children wailed while their parents shushed them, and travel weary businessmen strode by, wheeling small suitcases behind them. I looked down at my own. It was light purple vintage with wheels and pale markings that looked like some sort of brand name – an expensive brand name, I was sure, because Marv had been the one to hand it to me that morning.
"Gate 6B," Knix announced.
He retrieved the printed plane tickets from his leather satchel. When I had asked why I needed a full suitcase, he had simply told me that I had to play the part and that meant nice – again, probably expensive – dresses and classic jewelry and heels. I had begged them to at least let me wear flip flops on the plane. So, there I stood in cheap white flip-flops in an Eileen Fisher shift dress that I was sure cost more than what I would have made in a pay period back at Alex's Diner. I didn't ask, though. I thought it would be better not to know in case I spilled something on it. I tried to pretend it was just a simple day dress that Marv had picked up at Walmart.
I was supposed to be playing a role, I knew. The role of Harley Hampton, Knix’s cousin. I needed to act like I already knew what being a debutante was, or at least, that I was interested in learning what it was. For the next two weeks, I would be a wealthy, southern, blue-blooded lady spending her summer vacation away from boarding school at Ms. Enders’ classic villa in upstate New York. I almost dreaded landing in BUF – the Buffalo Niagara Intern
ational Airport. It would be the first time I ever set foot on a plane or outside of the Carolinas.
Knix handed a few tickets to Bellamy and asked him to wait with me to check my bag before meeting them at the gate. I couldn’t help but wonder if I would run into Michael in New York. It was a ridiculous thought – Michael worked in New York City and we would be in Buffalo. It was like thinking that everyone in New York knew each other, which was impossible. I sighed as Bellamy helped move my bag up to be weighed.
“Here’s your sticker, ma’am,” said the lady in a white and blue pressed suit dress as she handed me a slip.
I thanked her and let Bellamy take my hand as we moved towards the longer line in front of giant gray metal detectors. Men and women in TSA button-down shirts stood around large machines where people put their purses and smaller bags for x-ray inspection. We stepped in line and Bellamy looked down, specifically at my flip flops.
“Those were a good idea,” he said as he bent and began untying the laces of his sneakers.
I shrugged. “Better than walking around in heels all day.”
His eyes widened slightly. Not too much, just enough that I noticed and it wasn’t in surprise. No, it was something else. Something that made me think he didn’t quite agree. I knew he was right when he turned back and mumbled something under his breath. I leaned forward and managed to catch most of what he said. “Not with those legs.”
I shifted and looked down at my bare legs, but I didn’t get a chance to ask what he meant because soon enough we were next in line. The airport security officers had us take off our shoes and place them in a square container. Bellamy removed his belt and emptied his pockets. I laid my purse in the container next to my shoes, and we were gestured through the metal detectors. On the other side, we collected our things and Bellamy rushed to slip on his shoes and redo the laces.
