by Smoke, Lucy
It was a long moment before he managed to say anything. "I don't hate you," he said gruffly. "I'm just...surprised."
I needed to be honest with him. In fact, I probably needed to be honest with all of them. I thought that—well, I didn't know what I had been thinking. But this, I needed him to know this. "I care about you." My voice was barely above a whisper as I shook my head against the fabric of his shirt. "But I'm not sorry. I care about Bellamy, too."
Marv stiffened, but thankfully, he didn't pull away. "And Knix and Texas?" he asked.
I nodded, my cheek brushing the muscles of his chest. "Yeah,” I said. “I care about them too.”
Marv leaned his head back on a rough laugh that sounded more tired than amused. "I didn't come looking for you for this," he said.
Wiping my eyes, I moved back. "Was it about the case?" I sniffed and wiped my nose with my sleeve.
His dark, stormy gaze watched me as he nodded. "Knix and Bellamy went in for their first shift today. Caruso and Tex are off looking for Caruso Number Two. I thought you and I could start looking for Erika."
"How are we going to do that?" I asked. "We've already talked to her parents. They think she's still here. Her advisor thinks she's taking a break."
"You know her best," he replied.
Scrubbing a hand down my face and then back up, I grabbed a lock of my hair and yanked in frustration. "I thought I did," I said. "I thought I knew Erika better than anyone, but now I'm not so sure. The Erika I knew wouldn't have stolen money or hidden the fact that she was helping her boyfriend pay off drug debts. I feel like I'm way out of my depth here."
"You're tired," he said.
Blowing out a breath, I let my shoulders slump as I peered up at him through the strands of my hair. "What gave you that idea?" I joked.
"You have bags under your eyes," he answered. Marv held out a hand to me. "We don't have to think about anything right now. Let's just go back to the house and we can just get some sleep."
I started shaking my head before he was even finished speaking. "There's too much to do," I said. "I should be working like everyone else."
"You can't do anything for anyone if you're exhausted," Marv argued. "I'm tired too. I couldn't sleep worth shit last night and to be honest, Sunshine, I've missed sleeping next to you." I was less shocked by the fact that Marv cursed and more shocked by the admission. Even after what he had learned about what happened between Bellamy and me, he was still...interested?
"You have?" Was my mind playing tricks on me?
He nodded, keeping his palm out for me, waiting. "Please?" He said it so quietly, I almost didn't hear him. But the way he said it got to me.
I closed my eyes. I couldn't say no to him when he asked like that. I found myself lifting my own hand and letting it fall in his. Truth was, I had missed sleeping next to him too, and I was so weary inside that if he had asked me with that pleading voice of his, I would have crawled into the booth at my back as long as he promised to curl around me. I missed waking up to the heat of his skin against my cheek and his breath on my neck.
"Come on, then," he said, holding my hand as we retrieved my stuff from the booth. "Let's go take a nap so we can find Erika when we wake up."
That sounded good to me.
Chapter 10
Waking up in Marv's arms was probably one of the best ways to wake up. In a way, it was like I was still dreaming. Marv was naked from the waist up, having discarded his shirt when we crawled into bed after returning from the student union center. His arms were coiled tightly around me, and I couldn't have felt safer if I tried. Quietly and as gently as I could—so as to not to wake him up—I moved forward and pressed my nose into the column of his throat. He smelled like he always did, like his favorite dark roast coffee. I wasn't sure about the taste of the stuff, but it smelled divine, especially on him.
"Are you sniffing me?" I froze, caught in the act. "Um...no?" I tried.
Marv chuckled low and it started a fluttery feeling in my stomach spreading out through my limbs. "It's okay," he said, leaning his head back to look down at my face. "As long as I smell good."
I nodded quickly. "You do," I promised.
Marv's eyes dropped down to my lips. My mouth went dry as my eyes returned the favor. His lips were barely a few inches from my face. I had already felt them against me. His kiss was like a sweet embrace the first time and a bolt of lightning the second. Without thinking about it—or maybe that's just how these things worked—my tongue came out to wet my bottom lip. Marv's gaze followed the movement, his pupils dilating.
"Harlow..."
I couldn't say who moved first, him or me. Maybe we both moved for each other at the same time. But as my name disappeared on a whisper in the quiet of his temporary bedroom, our mouths touched, and my lips parted. I gasped as the earlier fluttering feeling sprung back to life, not in my stomach this time, but all over and all at the same time. I closed my eyes and relished in the feel of Marv's lips on mine. He claimed me with a sweet reverence and yet, there was something new there. A desperation.
When I moved back to take a breath, he followed, keeping my lips trapped with his. His hand cupped the back of my skull, long fingers sliding between the strands of my hair as he crushed his mouth to mine. His chest pressed down against mine. My legs scissored on the mattress, trapped by both him and the sheets. I couldn't breathe, but a part of me didn't want to. I reached up as well, running my fingers along Marv's jaw, feeling the short, coarse stubble embedded in the skin there. I didn't even notice when Marv's other hand moved down until I felt his fingers on my stomach, just beneath the fabric of my t-shirt. I pulled my mouth away and opened my eyes.
Marv stared down at me, not moving. He didn't press any further, but neither did he pull away. After what felt like an eternity of waiting in silence, it was broken. "Can I?" As he spoke, his fingers moved slightly, stroking back and forth across my flesh. I fought the urge to arch up into his touch.
I didn’t know what to say. Yes or no. It was that simple and that hard. I wanted it, but would it complicate things further? That was almost a given.
A loud crash sounding from the front of the house saved me from having to answer. Both of our heads jerked up as an unfamiliar voice cursed and railed. Marv dove off the bed and snagged a shirt, quickly tugging it over his head. I glanced at the clock on his bedside table and noted that we had only been asleep for a little under two hours.
“God damn it!” the voice yelled. “Enough with the handcuffs! I’m not gonna run away!”
When Marv opened the door and stepped out into the hall, I followed, listening as Grayson’s voice came from somewhere in the living room. “Yeah, I’ll believe that when I see it.” He did not sound happy and that second voice was starting to sound just a bit more familiar.
Marv and I rounded the hallway corner and I realized why. Sitting in the middle of the destroyed coffee table was Grayson’s older brother—Joshua Caruso. He looked much different than the last time I had seen him. His hair was longer, and it looked like it hadn’t been washed in days. Joshua Caruso looked like someone had put him through hell. There were dark crescents under his eyes and though he still had some muscle mass, he had also obviously lost weight.
A moment later Texas came through from the kitchen, carrying a glass of water and a package of bandages. He paused and looked down at the mess on the floor before shooting Grayson an irritated look. "We have to pay for that," he said, nodding to the now destroyed piece of furniture. I winced.
"I'll fucking pay for it." Even though Grayson spoke to Texas, he kept his gaze fully trained on his brother and it was none too kind.
"Where did you find him?" Marv asked.
"Roach motel off of Interstate 77," Texas answered as he stepped gently through the bits of glass and broken pieces of wood that surrounded the area. He set the glass of water on one of the side tables next to the couch.
Grayson jerked his brother up and—uncaring of any possible glass shards that ma
y have embedded themselves in the couch—shoved him onto the nearest cushion.
"What were you doing at a motel, Caruso Number Two?" Marv asked darkly, moving forward. Grayson shot Marv an irritated glance and rolled his eyes before continuing to glare at his brother.
"Was Erika there?" I asked. Texas shot me a look and gently shook his head. My shoulders sagged.
"Just him," Grayson confirmed, landing a hand solidly on his brother's shoulders and clenching down hard. "But don't worry, he'll tell us where she is, won't you, brother?" Grayson hissed the last word as though it both angered and pained him to say it.
"Fuck, man! Let up!" Josh hissed.
I looked from the bandages in Texas' arms to the coffee table before tilting my head curiously. "Texas," I said quietly. He looked up, meeting my gaze. "Why were you getting bandages before Josh got hurt?"
Texas' brow furrowed for a moment before they quickly rose. "Oh! Josh is already—" he paused, looking over and I noticed that Josh's previously pallid skin had taken on a flush and sweat dotted his brow. "Actually," Texas said, shoving the bandages into my arms. "You can handle it. I'll clean up the mess."
"Handle what?" I asked, but Texas was already getting up and going into the kitchen. I turned to Grayson. "Handle what?" I repeated sternly. "Is Josh hurt?"
"Fuck yes, I'm hurt!" Josh snapped. Grayson clenched down on his shoulder again causing him to cry out in pain.
"Don't fucking talk to her like that," he sneered.
"Grayson." I stood there, shocked by how venomous his words were. Shaking my head, I pushed my way between him and Marv as they stood over Josh. "Back off, let me see him."
Texas returned with a broom and dustpan. "It's his arm," he offered, bending down to sweep several larger bits into the pan. "Looks like a previous knife wound."
"Knife wound?" I asked, but Texas was already heading back to the kitchen to dump his load. I sighed and turned to Grayson. "You're going to have to let him out of the handcuffs in order for me to look at him."
Marv looked to Grayson. "Can we trust him?"
Grayson continued to stare at his brother before nodding. "Yeah, he knows if he hurts her, I'll break his arm," he said as he drew the keys to the handcuffs from the back pocket of his jeans.
I rolled my eyes at the same time that Josh said, "Why would I hurt her? She's not a fucking prick like you."
"Oh, I'm the fucking prick?" Grayson asked, shoving his brother over so that he had to lean over his own legs while Grayson unlocked the cuffs and pulled them off. "You're right I am. I'm the fucking prick that put you in rehab and took care of you when our parents cut you off. I'm the fucking prick that found you in a murder motel on the side of the highway and brought you here."
"You nearly broke my arm!" Josh yelled.
"Next time don’t swing at me or fucking run then!"
"Guys!" I had to shout to be heard. "There are neighbors, can we please lower the testosterone for five minutes?"
Grayson and Marv continued to glare at Josh, but the only person Josh glared back at was Grayson. I chose to ignore the three-way pissing contest and made my way to the side of the couch where I sat and reached for the front buttons on Josh's dark-colored shirt. He pulled away.
"I got it," he grumbled, dropping his gaze. Even so, I watched as his fingers shook while he unbuttoned the first few buttons, wincing the entire time. Once he finally got the shirt undone and revealed what was under the fabric, I couldn't hold back my gasp. Dark purple and yellow bruises lined his abdomen—some of them looking fairly recent, some faded and older. They lined the side of his stomach, stretching up towards his chest and around to his back.
"What happened?" I asked as Josh shrugged out of the sleeves.
"Got in a fight," was all he said.
My eyes zeroed in on the long gash across his left bicep. It was raw and slightly open—still bleeding, though not too terribly. When I took the shirt from him my hand came away slightly wet and I glanced down. My eyes first took in the red stain on my palm, then to the open gash on his arm. Because of the dark color of his shirt, I hadn't even recognized that he was hurt. But there was no cut in the fabric—it must have happened before he put it on.
I leaned forward and examined the wound. I was no expert—less than a novice really since I had never really seen anything like this. I mean, sure, I had seen my fair share of scraped knees and even broken bones back in gymnastics, but it had been a while. Texas came back in and handed off the dustpan to Marv before he held out a bottle of antiseptic spray to me.
"Put that on the wound," he said, "before you bandage him." I nodded and did as he said. It wasn't until I started wrapping the gauze around his arm before I got the courage to ask.
"So," I started, "what happened?"
Josh avoided my gaze. "I told you—got in a fight."
"Were you naked?" I prompted.
He swiveled his head to look at me. "No."
I hummed. "I see." I continued to wind the stretchy material around his arm. "Then why wasn't there a cut in your shirt?"
"Harlow," Marv said.
"It's a valid question," I snapped, keeping my gaze on Josh. I tightened the gauze around his bicep and then tied it off. "So, are you gonna answer me and tell me what happened or are you just gonna continue being vague about it?"
"Why do you care?" he snapped.
I narrowed my eyes at him, clenching my fist and drawing a deep breath. "Maybe I don't care," I said slowly. "But right now, you're the only lead I have to Erika. So, by all means, we can ignore where you got that cut on your arm and we can jump straight to the good part—where is Erika?"
He looked away. And that just pissed me off. I stood abruptly, but before I could do something stupid like smack the shit out of him—Grayson, of all people, stopped me with a hand on my arm. "Let it go," he said. "Don't worry, we'll make him talk."
"What are you planning on doing?"
Grayson's expression hardened. "Whatever we have to."
"No," Marv said. “We can ask questions, but we will have to tell Knix about this and he’ll want to call Alex. They decide what else we do.”
Grayson frowned, but didn’t say anything. I had the feeling that even he knew that Marv was taking the lead on this one. It didn’t matter that Josh was Grayson’s brother. After last night’s meeting, we had a whole lot of new concerns. I let my gaze return to Josh for a brief moment as Texas came back from the kitchen once more with a white bottle. He snagged the water he had left on the side table earlier and handed it to Josh along with a few small blue pills from the bottle.
“Those will help with the pain,” he said. Josh downed them in no time.
“Now,” Marv said, squatting down in front of Josh. “Let’s start with our questions.”
“I don’t know anything,” Josh said.
“Uh huh.” The way Marv said it made it obvious that he didn’t believe him. I didn’t believe him either.
“Do you know where Erika is?” I asked.
Josh stiffened before shaking his head. “No.”
“Are you lying?” Grayson growled.
Josh lifted his head and seared his younger brother with a heated glare. If looks could kill… “I said no,” he repeated. “No amount of asking is gonna change the truth even if you do think I’m lying.”
“Okay, say you’re not lying,” Marv offered.
“I’m not!” Josh snapped.
Marv simply nodded. “Alright, you don’t know where Erika is. Did you know where she was?”
With slow, jerky movements, Josh nodded. He turned his face down and stared at the stains on his knees. He was so vastly different from when I first saw him, dressed up and playing rich suitor in the garden on Sweratt Island. He had been a thief then. He was probably where Erika had picked up her new skills. I wondered if she even realized what this man had done to her—how he had changed her. Eventually, it was Texas who broke through.
“We can’t help you unless you tell us what happened. What h
appened to her, Josh? Why were you in that motel?” Texas asked.
Josh’s shoulders sagged as though a heavy weight had been placed upon them. He brought his hands up and rubbed them down his face roughly, stretching the muscles in his arms and back. He was so pale that the gauze wasn’t as striking against his skin as it likely would have been months before.
“We were hiding out,” Josh finally admitted. “I couldn’t do it. I-I couldn’t stop the cravings, man. You don’t know what it’s like.” His hands clenched down around his jaw as his muffled words came through the spaces between his fingers. “After the fucking detox they had me go to before I could even get in the center, it was fucking bad. Then there was this guy in the center, one of the nurses or something, I don’t know. He said that if I wanted I could take a little extra to ease the withdrawals, you know? And man, they were bad. I was shaking. I couldn’t sleep. I threw up.” He was shaking now, too, a fine tremble in his limbs and especially his hands.
I slid my eyes to the side, watching Grayson as Josh spoke. Grayson’s face remained as impassive as ever and I wondered just how much he felt under that thick mask of his.
“So, I said yeah, and I asked him what he wanted in return,” Josh continued. “He said I didn’t have to do anything right then, I could just have it—on good faith, you know? I didn’t realize until later that they didn’t realize I didn’t have money. By then, though, I was getting a regular supply. I was doing good, real good I thought. They had me in counseling and they said my tremors weren’t showing up anymore.”
“Shouldn’t they have been able to see you were fucking high?” Grayson snapped.
“Remember what Knix said,” Texas replied quietly. “They were probably in on it and the contract workers that go in don’t know how to look for it, or they expect that everyone looks like addicts.” Josh was quiet as Texas turned back to him. “It’s okay,” Texas said. “Keep going.”
Josh raised his face from his hands and stared at his brother as he continued. “The nurse told me that I could pay when I got out and I realized that I wasn’t going to be able to.”
