Breeder: An Arrow's Flight Novel

by Casey Hays

  His eyes dance in the moonlight. They pull me in. He smiles, and then . . . he kisses me. I struggle against it for only a minute before I sink into him and just let it happen. His lips are warm, and they quiver slightly as he eases away and then presses in again. And I can’t think. Everything around us disappears into this kiss.

  “I have never met anyone like you,” Ian whispers between kisses. “You’re made up of something I’ve never seen before in my life. No one can take as much as you have and survive. And yet here you are. So here’s the deal: If I have to stay hidden in those woods forever, that’s what I’ll do.”

  I pull back.

  “What are you saying? You won’t go? You’ll risk Mona finding you because you won’t leave without me?”

  “Kate, I would risk even death for you. Don’t you see?”

  I’m stunned.

  “But . . . why? Why would you do that for me?”

  Ian frowns. “Because you’d do it for me. You just said so.”

  At first, I can’t speak. To think that he would be willing to lay down his life to protect me—to save me from whatever Mona has planned for me next—is . . . endearing . . . amazing . . . beautiful, and it takes me a moment to gather myself.

  “That is very different.” I gaze intently into his eyes, hoping I can make him understand. “Ian, Death lives in my village; he rules here. Don’t you see? It is a daily reality for us—each time a child is born; each time a woman is too old to continue her duty; each time one of the stock is found lacking or a breeder gives birth to a marred baby. We cannot escape it. But you . . .” I shake my head, determined to convince him that his best and only option is to leave now and never look back. “You must go! Forget this village; go back to Eden. You have much to look forward to. You can have a family someday just as you’ve described to me.” I brush a hand across his cheek. “Your life will be good,” I whisper.

  Ian pulls up onto his knees and squares my shoulders, boring his eyes straight into me.

  “All that stuff you just said is really good. Fantastic. And I could do that. Go back to Eden, forget this place and live happily ever after. But there’s just one tiny problem with your scenario.”

  “What?”

  “That family I’m going to have someday? It won’t happen without you.”

  It takes me a moment to register his words, but I finally understand. I let out an exasperated breath.

  “Stop it! You’re only saying this to get me to come with you.”

  “Am I?” His eyes twinkle “I guess if you don’t come with me, you’ll never know.”

  I frown, shaking my head. Has he lost his mind? Did his stay in the Pit do more damage than I’d thought? I narrow my eyes, deciding to follow his lead.

  “Why would I go with you? You don’t even know where you’re going.”

  “Yeah, that does pose a problem. But together, we could figure it out. We’ve been a pretty good team so far.”

  He’s so sure. This is the most enthusiastic I’ve ever seen him. Fresh air does wonders for a person. I ponder what he’s suggesting. I could go. At the moment, choosing Ian would be the easy answer in so many ways, and far better than staying tied to this tree.

  But . . .

  Always there is a “but.” I’m scared. And how can I leave Mia, Diana, and all the other helpless women and children who have been forced into this life? Chosen for them by what? Fate? Destiny? Some other power I haven’t quite figured out yet? In my case, the Archer has spoken, or so they say. Whatever it is, I’m unfortunately bound by it, too. I can’t just leave. In the deepest part of my heart, I know it would be wrong.

  “I can’t go with you.“ My words are soft and edged with regret, but I must say them.

  “Why?” He frowns, and his brows push together until they look like a long, blond caterpillar. “What’s keeping you here? Last I checked, it was only this tree. If that’s the only thing, it’s an easy fix.”

  “No it’s not that. You see, Mona—she’s our leader.”

  “Yeah, I know. So what?”

  I check the window once more. The meeting inside continues.

  “There’s a reason why she’s protecting me.”

  He frowns again.

  “Protecting you? Okay, sure. That’s what this is.”

  He waves his arm out, indicating the tree to which I am so expertly bound.

  “I’m serious, Ian. I should be dead by now.”

  “That’s right. You should be. And if you stay here, it’s a real possibility that next time she’ll succeed.” His desperate eyes rest on me. “Please, Kate. Come with me.”

  “No. I—I can’t. I have to stay, because . . . .” I pause, remembering Mona’s warning.

  “Because?” he repeats.

  I hesitate a moment longer. In reality, she only said I wasn’t to tell the villagers. But Ian? It doesn’t matter if he knows. And yet, I don’t want to tell him. I’m not quite sure how I feel about being the destined leader, and his perception of leaders in my village is grossly tainted. No. I won’t tell him. It’s another issue that won’t concern him when he’s gone. I just have to persuade him to leave.

  I squeeze his hand while he stares at me, exasperated.

  “I have to stay for my village. For Mia and Diana. I can’t very well bring them all with me. And I can’t leave them at the mercy of Mona. If I go with you, I’ve given up on my chance to change this village for the better.”

  Ian sighs and leans back against the tree. He shakes his head.

  “What can you do, really? Why do you have to care so much? Anyone else would have jumped at the chance to leave this nightmare you call life. But not you. You’ll put a whole village ahead of yourself.” He smiles. “You’re amazing, Kate.”

  I read something in his eyes I can’t place, but it makes me feel braver than I am. If he could endure all those weeks in that stinking cave, I can surely handle a few nights under a tree.

  “Mona won’t kill me.” I look straight into his eyes. “If she does, well, then I was wrong. But she will kill you. You can be sure. You have to find your way home.”

  He stares at the ground, not speaking at first, his voice soft, low, and steady when he finally does.

  “I don’t know if I can go back to my life the way it was before. Knowing about this place? It’s changed me. I can’t forget it.” He lifts his eyes. “Not after you.”

  My heart flips over. I swallow.

  “You have to, Ian,” I whisper. “And you have to promise me something.”

  His blue eyes search my face, and all I can think about is Meg and her mate, and blood all over an open field. I squeeze closer until he wraps his arms around me.

  “You have to forget. You can never tell anyone about us. If you do, you put everyone at risk: my people, me,” I pause. “And your people might not survive us. The last ones didn’t.”

  He rears back. “The last ones?”

  I know I shouldn’t tell him. He really doesn’t need to know this, either. But I decide to tell him what I know of Meg. If nothing else, it will serve as a warning.

  “There was a girl here once, a friend of mine, who fell in love with someone from another village. He’d been captured, like you. When he came back to get her, she was dead, and he was slaughtered along with everyone who came with him. Don’t underestimate the strength of these women. They will do what they must to protect the Village.” I meet his eyes. “Even kill.”

  Ian’s shocked face softens my heart a little bit. I sigh.

  “I have to hope that this can be a different place. I want to make that happen if I can. It will be difficult, but what great moment wasn’t? I’ve read enough to know that life-changing moments happen all the time. They can happen here, too.”

  He gazes at me, runs a warm thumb down my cheek, and his eyes seem to speak without sound, filling my heart with silent words. And I see for the first time what Mia meant about his “look.” It sparkles from the deepest part of him, and it calls to me with a de
sire that both frightens and excites me. It wakens emotions I was not aware I had, and I begin to drown in the feeling. I wrap my fingers around his wrists while my heart cracks at the thought of my next words.

  “Do something for me,” I whisper, tears threatening. “Go . . . and forget about me.”

  Before he can answer, the cabin door opens, and the women begin to file out. Ian freezes, but he kicks into survival mode quickly and scurries around to the back of the tree. I hold my breath as the women pass me by one by one until they all disappear down the lane.

  Mona stands in the doorway. She casts me an indifferent glance and shuts the door. The candle dims, and the cabin is quiet. I exhale, relieved.

  “Ian?” He pops up beside me. “Go now. And don’t come back here again. Please!”

  He cups my face in his hands and kisses my forehead, a hard smack that leaves a wet stain.

  “I’m not making any promises.”

  He winks. Then he bolts for the trees, leaving me staring after him flabbergasted. He hasn’t heard a word I’ve said.

  And I fear he’s going to do something stupidly brave.

  >--->

  Three more weeks pass by like molasses before Mona stubbornly gives in and lets me go back to my hogan. None of the scouts guarding the perimeter of our lands have seen any sign of Ian. The consensus is that he’s dead, and by now—as much as I hate to think it—he very well could be. He’s never returned, to my relief. But Mona still prepares a small army of guards to defend the Village in the event that he actually does make it home.

  She sends extra scouts to protect the outskirts. And she arms each woman and girl fit to fight with a weapon.

  “You are not to leave the Village,” she says as she uses her long, curved knife—the same one she used to kill Layla—to cut me free. “Do you understand?”

  “Perfectly,” I say through tight lips.

  I gently rub my aching wrists where the ropes have seared deep ruts. Their marks are sure to leave scars, as sure as the scars on my back.

  Mia waits for me at the end of the trail that leads from Mona’s cabin to the center of the Village. She falls in step beside me.

  “Are you all right?” she asks timidly.

  I smile weakly. My clothes and my body are soiled, and I deliberately move away from Mia for this reason. Mona showed me no human decency, refusing even to release me from the ropes to relieve myself or to bathe. If Mia smells my stench, she doesn’t show it.

  “I survived,” I say. I turn at the bend and head toward the river. “I’ll feel better when I’ve washed.”

  She nods.

  “Diana’s at the Pit. She was ordered back last week.” Her words are soft.

  “And Tabitha?” I ask.

  “Gretchen’s agreed to keep her.”

  I nod. Gretchen is a seamstress, but she never minds watching a baby or two for a breeder while she’s at the Pit.

  “We’ll find you later,” Mia says.

  She heads in the direction of the Village while I continue to the river. I can hear its welcome rush long before I see the waters. I don’t bother to take my clothes off before walking straight in. The water is so cold my teeth are chattering fiercely before I’ve made it to my waist, but I don’t care. At one point in the middle, I sink to the bottom, and let the downstream current slide past me, taking the muck and filth with it.

  When I can’t take another minute of the cold, I slosh out of the water and lay flat on my back on the bank. The sun is hot, and soon it’s baked me dry and made my rawhide clothing stiff, but I don’t move from the spot for a long time. I keep my eyes shut tightly and concentrate on the sun’s warmth.

  Soon, I’m thinking of Layla, and my heart starts to ache until I have to push her out of my mind before I go mad with grief. I replace my thoughts of her with thoughts of Ian, and these are no better. I’ve made myself believe that he’s home. He has to be—because I don’t see how he could have survived these three weeks out there alone with nothing but the clothes on his back.

  But all I can see in my vivid imagination is Ian wandering in the woods—lost. I squeeze my eyes shut tightly, close off my mind to the horrid image.

  When the sun has begun to give my skin a reddish tint, Mia arrives with a blanket under one arm and a small loaf of bread in the other. Diana is close on her heels, Tabitha cuddled against her chest.

  I stand stiffly and join them. Mia spreads the blanket under the trees, and I sink down next to Diana and tear off a piece of the loaf. I chew mechanically and run a hand over Tabitha’s chubby, pink cheek.

  “I’m so sorry you had to endure that, Kate.” Diana’s eyes are full of concern. “We didn’t dare come near you. We were afraid it would only cause more trouble for you if we did.”

  “I think that was a wise choice,” I say. “But I’m fine. And Ian is safe. It’s all that matters.”

  She nods and looks off toward the river.

  The sun glows hotter. All around us wildflowers burst with color. It’s a perfect day . . . if there is such a thing in the Village. Days like this fool us into thinking so, and for some reason, the warmth and the beauty make me feel safe enough to say my next words.

  “Mona told me Meg had a baby.”

  Mia chews on a long piece of grass, but she abandons it to stare at me in astonishment. Diana sits up a little taller.

  “What?” The word is a hushed whisper escaping Diana’s lips like a forbidden secret. I only nod.

  “Apparently her mate took the baby with him.” I glance at Diana. “Meg had bigger plans for that baby than this life.”

  Diana nods and kisses Tabitha softly. “I wish I had that option.”

  Mia stares at both of us in shock, the blade of grass hanging limply from her bottom lip. “What do you mean he took the baby with him?” she asks.

  “I mean that he wasn’t from our stock, just like Ian wasn’t. Mona captured him for Meg. But Meg fell in love with him—just as she told you—and after she gave birth, she helped him escape—with the baby.”

  Mia narrows her eyes. “And Mona simply told you all of this?”

  I hesitate. Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything.

  Mia’s eyes shift from me to Diana. “And you. You wish you had an option? For what?”

  When Diana doesn’t answer, I squeeze her hand reassuringly. “Diana’s hatching a plan to keep Tabitha out of the nursery. Any ideas?”

  Mia gasps. She stares at Diana, who looks at me. Her expression holds that same fiery determination I saw before. I watch it fade into sadness, and she shrugs.

  “I have no plan. But—” She looks at me anxiously, her eyes full of expectation. “Your mate? If he were still around somewhere, I’d ask you to see if he’d take us with him.”

  My heart fills with compassion for Diana. It might have been a brilliant idea, if we’d thought of it sooner . . . and if Ian had been able to find his way. But the possibility has fled with no hope of returning. I shake my head regretfully.

  “I haven’t seen him in weeks.”

  Diana nods knowingly. Mia watches us in disbelief. Her loyalty to Mona is clearly intact once more, and she cannot fathom why we would be considering any of this.

  “Are you both mad?” she asks. She raises her hands in the air as if to stop us from saying anything more that might incriminate us with the Council. “Just—wait a moment. Can we discuss Meg for one minute more? I can only handle one surprise at a time.”

  Diana and I exchange a quick glance, and I laugh. “Sure, Mia.”

  “So he took the baby? Why would he do that? Was he—was he like Ian?” Her eyes rest on me beseechingly, her words escaping in a rush of a whisper.

  The implication of her question slams into the middle of my chest just above my heart. I haven’t given this much thought. Meg’s mate must have loved her very much, and he must have loved their child. His compassion, his willingness to sacrifice himself for her . . . . Was he from a village like Eden? Did he have a family who loved him? A life to
return to? I believe it is very possible.

  “I think so.” I smile.

  The wonderful and the not so pleasant parts of Ian scramble together in my brain. And I wonder: Could I have loved Ian? Was he enough like Meg’s mate that I could have followed her same path if things had been different?

  “For one, her mate was not raised to breed,” I continue. “I think that’s why he took the baby with him.”

  And in the deepest part of what I know of Ian in just the short time we spent together, I believe he may have done the same if there’d been a need for it.

  “Why did Mona tell you about Meg?” Mia’s dark eyes are full of suspicion. “Why would she . . . after she’s forbidden us to even speak her name?”

  I hesitate. And the guilt of sharing this information when even the Council doesn’t know the whole story weighs down on me. Someone needs to know. I need to know. I bite my lip.

  I can’t tell Mia or Diana that Mona has proclaimed me as the next leader. And this is not because I’m suddenly feeling a sense of loyalty toward Mona. No. I’m just not prepared for them to know. In my mind, it would separate us somehow—elevate me to a level above them. I never want them to see me this way.

  “I don’t know.” I shrug with as much indifference as I can muster. “I guess she felt the need to talk, and I was conveniently available.” I laugh softly, shaking my head. “She came out sometimes and sat with me. I don’t know why she decided to tell me.”

  We all sit in silence.

  “Who knows why Mona does anything?” Diana finally says. “From one minute to the next, you don’t know if she’ll kiss you or tie you to a tree.”

  We all giggle—even Mia. We’ve become too desensitized by Mona’s cruelty to react differently.

  “So Meg truly loved him.” Mia’s voice is a dreamy whisper. “I don’t even know what that is.”

  I nod in agreement. None of us do. Males in the Village are born and raised to breed—nothing more. And we endure the empty, meaningless exercise that keeps us slaves to the society in which we live. Everything about the Village, the Council—Fate itself—is used to keep the system intact. I see this very clearly now, and the only reason I’ve even had a glimpse of something different is first: because of books, and second: because if Ian.