Part of him wanted the guard to say there was no answer, but Jake didn’t think he could find the courage to come back another time. He had to do this. Marie Sawyer and Trudy Dunbar were right. It was time to overcome his demons.
“Go on up. It’ll be on your right when you exit the elevator.”
“Thanks.”
While waiting for the elevator car, Jake scanned the lobby. It was a nice place. Opulent. Classic. Not his style, but still quite nice. Above his head, a ding sounded seconds before the doors opened. Stepping in, he punched the button for the sixth floor and less than a minute later found himself knocking on the door of unit 610. The man who opened the door didn’t seem happy to see him. He was about five eleven and a hundred and seventy-five pounds, but his expression said he wanted to take on the man who had six inches and thirty-five pounds more than him, most of which was solid muscle. Jake had no idea who the guy was, but he evidently knew who Jake was.
“Let him in, Ray.”
The deep, rumbling voice came from beyond Jake’s view, but he’d recognize it anywhere. Frowning, Ray did as he was ordered and took a step back, allowing him to enter. Max was in the process of standing when Jake walked into the large, finely-furnished living room. His heart clenched at the sight of the man. He was two-inches shorter than Jake, but still had the commanding presence of a Dom, which would be noticed immediately by anyone in the lifestyle. His short, dark blond hair was receding a little, but he was still a very handsome man. “Come here, Jake. I won’t bite.”
Swallowing hard, Jake took several more steps forward until he was about a foot away from the other man. Whatever he’d expected, wasn’t what happened. Max held out his hand and when Jake took it, the man pulled him close and hugged him tight. “I’m so glad you finally came to see me. I didn’t think you’d ever get past it.”
Stunned, his eyes filled with tears as his former Dom pulled away and brought his hands up to Jake’s newly shaven face. The touch was gentle as his fingertips created an image of the features his hazel eyes would never see again. “I don’t know why it surprises me, but you’ve changed. You’re about an inch or two taller than you were at seventeen. And it seems the military took good care of you. I’m just sorry I can’t say the same.”
“What?” Jake’s voice was hoarse again, his emotions getting stuck in his throat. He tried clearing it, but the coarseness was still there. “What are you talking about? I was the one who should’ve been there for you. I should’ve…I should’ve gone back to the hospital and taken care of you. I couldn’t right away, but when I was able to…”
Max sighed and cut off whatever his former lover was about to say with a slash of his hand in the air. “Enough, Jake. Sit down.” Yup, there was the commanding Dom Jake remembered. “Ray, stop glaring and get him something to drink. Water? Soda? Sorry, we have nothing stronger. Neither of us drink.”
Glancing at Ray, he saw the man’s expression had softened a little, but he was still trying to figure out what Jake was doing here. “Water is fine. Thanks.”
Ray nodded and disappeared into the kitchen as Jake sat on the couch across from the winged-back chair Max took. A teasing grin came over Max’s handsome, yet scared face. “We’ve been together for eight years and he still can’t figure out how I know when he’s frowning. I won’t tell him because it’s too much fun to mess with him.”
Returning, Ray handed Jake a bottle of water before taking a chair next to Max. He remained silent as the Dom spoke. “Jake, you were seventeen, even though you looked much older. Hell, thinking back now, I should never have approached you. But there you were, a hot, jock quarterback, looking like you should be in Hollywood, willingly volunteering at the food pantry, and I didn’t care that you were too young. I was a new Dom—still learning. I should have known better. But this…” He gestured to his eyes. “This was not your fault. This is the result of a homophobic jackass. Unfortunately, the jackass was your father.”
Jake thought back to that horrible weekend. Max had taken him to an underground BDSM club they had been to a few times. They had been in a relationship for two months, and Max had told him early on that he was a Dom and wanted Jake to submit to him. At first he’d thought it meant the twenty-one-year-old man wanted to abuse him, but he soon found out the lifestyle was not about abuse—far from it. It was about trust, honesty, and pleasure. It was about control, and while Max was the Master, Jake had been the one who was in charge. His limits and his safe-word gave him the ultimate power in the exchange. While they’d been playing in private, Max had wanted to show his beautiful young sub off in a public scene.
Nervous, but wanting to please his Master, the man he was falling in love with, Jake had consented. The scene had been planned out in advance, so the only thing that’d had his knees shaking was the fact that dozens of people would be watching them.
“Don’t worry, babe. They’ll love you. No one will ridicule you here for enjoying kink. I’ll have you in subspace in no time.”
Jake calmed as Master Max ran a hand up and down his back. He could do this…it wasn’t something they hadn’t previously done. “Yes, Sir.”
“That’s my boy.” Max grabbed the front of his shirt and brought their lips together in a sweet, yet commanding kiss. “You don’t know how much your consent pleases me.”
Smiling, Max led his submissive into the club. While it looked like a triple X video and fetish store in a seedier section of Tampa, the basement had been transformed into a dungeon where gays and straights could indulge in their individual kinks. As they entered a door marked private at the back of the store and descended the stairs, Jake’s heart-beat sped up. The smells and sounds from below made him hard instantly, and he groaned inwardly, knowing he wasn’t allowed to touch his cock now that they were playing—not even to adjust himself. Max owned it during play, and any contact Jake’s hand made with it would result in punishment. And there was no way he wanted that tonight, because Max’s punishments usually resulted in a serious case of blue balls.
When they reached the bottom of the stairs, Jake took a deep breath and lowered his gaze to the floor, respecting the submissive rules of the club. From somewhere across the room, a loud crack of a flogger sounded and a woman cried out, then begged for more. Flesh slapped against flesh in another area, while the roar of a man cumming filled the air.
“Take off all your clothes, boy, but for now you can keep your briefs on. I’m not quite ready to share that particular beauty with the others yet. Let them dream of what it looks like for a bit. Tease them.”
Jake did as he was ordered and was soon standing with only one scrap of navy blue cotton preventing him from being completely nude. He knew the only reason he’d been allowed to keep them on was Max was aware of his nervousness and inexperience with the lifestyle. He was easing his sub into the scene. A Domme dressed all in black sidled up to Jake, but purred at Max. “Are you sure he doesn’t like pussy, Master Max? Because that huge package is something I would love to impale myself on…over and over again.”
While the Mistress was standing within inches of him, she didn’t touch Jake at all. Not without Max’s permission. And since his Master didn’t share, it wasn’t going to happen. “He is damn fine, isn’t he?”
It had been weird at first, how some the Doms and Dommes talked about their subs as if they were pets and couldn’t answer for themselves, but Jake had learned to accept it. He followed Max around the room as his Master spoke to several other Doms, remembering to keep his eyes averted. Max had told him that every club and Dom had their own protocols, but it was best if a sub avoided eye-contact with a Dom unless being spoken to.
It wasn’t long before Jake’s accelerated breathing and heart-rate weren’t from nervousness, but instead, anticipation. And his Master recognized the fact. He led his submissive to an area he’d reserved for their scene. A St. Andrew’s cross stood in the corner and it was what Jake was going to be shackled to. They had done a similar scene the weekend before, but it h
ad been in the privacy of Max’s apartment.
Stepping up to the cross, Jake waited for his Master’s command.
“Strip, my sub. Let me show everyone here how beautiful you are.”
He swallowed hard then dropped his briefs, not daring to look at anyone’s reactions. He wasn’t ashamed of his body…quite the opposite. Playing sports all year round had made him lean and sinewy. The girls at school were always coming on to him—of course, they didn’t know he was gay. None of his friends or family did. Hell, he hadn’t even admitted it to himself until he’d lost his virginity to Vanessa Thatcher when he was fifteen. While he’d cum, since she’d been warm, wet, and willing, in the aftermath he’d felt unfulfilled and the whole act had been forced on his part. It was then that he started examining his attraction to guys instead of girls.
Master Max caressed his back and shoulders. “Are you ready, boy?”
“Yes, Sir.”
Two hours later, just after midnight, Jake walked into his house after noticing his father’s truck was gone, which wasn’t too unusual. The man owned a bar/restaurant and probably had to run out to help his staff with something. Still feeling buzzed about the earlier scene with Max, Jake grabbed a snack and then turned on the TV in the living room to catch the sports highlights like he normally did.
Unfortunately, what happened after that had been far from normal.
CHAPTER 28
“Code Blue, ICU. Code Blue, ICU.”
The overhead alert for a person not breathing interrupted Jake’s account of what occurred all those years ago as Nick listened from his private hospital room’s bed. After Jake had left Max and Ray’s apartment, he’d come straight here, even though it was long after visiting hours were over. The expression on Nick’s face when he’d awakened, earlier, and saw him sitting next to the bed had been a combination of hurt and relief. Jake was hoping to expel the former by opening his heart at long last and spilling his guts about the past that’d haunted him for years.
“So what happened next?” Nick’s voice was dry and raspy, so Jake poured a cup of water from the pitcher on the bedside table and handed it to him.
After making sure Nick was okay, he leaned back in his chair. “I got a call from Max’s neighbor who I’d met a few times. He said Max had gotten mugged outside his apartment complex and beaten within an inch of his life. I rushed to the hospital, but wasn’t allowed in to see him because I wasn’t family. The cops were still there and I couldn’t risk answering questions about who I was, so I went home.” His voice caught in his throat and his eyes watered. Damn, he never cried like this.
Gingerly reaching over, Nick took his hand, squeezing it in support and understanding. “That’s the night you got the scars, isn’t it? Your dad found out and beat the crap out of Max, then turned his anger and homophobia on you.”
Nodding, Jake used his other hand to wipe a single tear which had spilled over onto his cheek. “Yeah. He was waiting for me when I got home. Beat me with his belt, telling me no son of his was going to be a faggot…and a lot of other shit I don’t need to repeat. I couldn’t go to school, much less move, for about two weeks after that. Mom called me in sick and nursed me back to health. The bastard wouldn’t even let her take me to the doctor.”
Nick’s thumb rubbed over the back of Jake’s hand. “What about Max? I take it he didn’t tell the police it was your father, or didn’t he know who it was?”
Shaking his head, Jake let out a deep breath. “No, he knew. My father made sure Max knew why he was getting beaten. He never told anyone, though, because he knew it meant outing me and he refused to do that. Even when he was told he would never see again.”
“Shit. He lost his sight completely?”
“Yeah. And all this time I thought he blamed me. I mean, I blamed me, why shouldn’t he?”
Tugging on his hand, Nick waited until their gazes met and he had Jake’s full attention. “He didn’t blame you because it wasn’t your fucking fault, Jake. You had no control over what your father did or believed. Just like you had no control over me getting shot. You’re not God. So fucking get over it, or you’re never going to be happy.”
Jake snorted in wry amusement. “Yeah, that’s pretty much what Max said to me tonight. Anyway, that’s my story…by the time I recovered, Max had been transferred to a hospital closer to his family. He moved back here about nine years ago. And I told my bastard of a father he could take his homophobia and shove it, along with my football scholarship to Rutgers. Two hours after I graduated high school, I enlisted in the Navy, and the only reason I ever came back to Tampa was because of my mom and brother.”
Silence filled the room for a few minutes, but it was a comfortable one. Jake had cleansed not only his heart and mind, but his soul as well. For the first time since before that fateful night, he felt he might have a bright, happy future ahead of him. A sappy grin spread across his face.
“What’s that look for?”
He chuckled. “I think this is what your future sister-in-law was talking about when she drew that picture of me.” At Nick’s confused expression, he explained, “Angie said I always had this sad look to me when I thought no one was watching or something like that. And she wanted to draw me again someday when I met the love of my life and was truly happy.”
“The love of your life?”
Jake stood and placed a hand on either side of Nick’s head, bending over so they were only inches apart, staring into each other’s eyes. “Yeah, Nick. The love of my life. You. That is, if I haven’t screwed up and pushed you away one too many times. Please, forgive me.”
Reaching up, Nick cupped Jake’s cheek and the Dom leaned into the gentle touch, his gut clenching, waiting for the words that he hadn’t lost this wonderful man. “I’ll forgive you on one condition.”
“What’s that?”
“If you kiss me…Sir.”
Hell, yeah. Jake closed the distance and brushed Nick’s lips with his own. Gentle at first, then more insistent. His tongue probed and without hesitation Nick’s lips parted, allowing him entry. Sighing with pleasure, he tasted and teased until there was the sound of a throat clearing behind him. Jake pulled slowly away. If whoever it was had a problem with what they just saw, well then, it was just that…their problem. Turning, he smiled at a tall, auburn-haired, female nurse who was grinning as well.
“Sorry to interrupt. But I need to take Nick’s vitals.” She pointed at her patient. “And stop blushing. My brother and his husband have been together for years. This doesn’t bother me at all. In fact, I think it’s awesome your boyfriend got off his duff and came back to apologize for whatever he did. I was tired of you moping.” She turned her finger toward Jake. “And you. I take my patient’s recovery seriously, so no more being a shmuck.”
Both men laughed as she wrapped the blood pressure cuff around Nick’s upper arm. “Don’t worry, Brenda. I’ll make sure Jake doesn’t act like a shmuck anymore.”
A few minutes later, after Brenda left, Jake settled back into his chair. Nick turned on his uninjured side and studied his lover’s face. “So, how the hell did you go from getting beaten with a belt, to the point it left those scars, to becoming a Whip Master and even getting whipped yourself?
Sighing, he ran a hand through his hair, wincing when a finger got caught in a knot. “Need a frigging haircut,” he mumbled.
“I like it long. Now, answer my question.”
“After I finished basic training, I got stationed in Pearl Harbor for a year and a half. It wasn’t long before I found a club where I could channel my anger for my father into something that wouldn’t destroy me. I wasn’t ready for anything beyond a D/s relationship and I was still feeling my way into the lifestyle, so, believe it or not, I ended up with a Domme. And she introduced me to all the things I hadn’t discovered yet.”
Nick raised an eyebrow. “A Domme? Seriously?”
“Yeah, ass-hat. But that’s all it was—a D/s relationship with no intercourse, although she did ge
t me off in other ways when I needed it. Mistress Lani was bi and in a longtime relationship with her female submissive, but she willingly took me on to teach me how to be a Dom. However, I first had to finish learning how to be a submissive. Lani was a bit of a sadist and she’s the one who trained me on the bullwhip. In the beginning, she used it as a tool to help me get past the beating my father had given me. With my safe-word and trust in her, I knew I had control over the scene and could stop anytime.”
“Something you didn’t have the night he beat you.”
Jake nodded his agreement. “Exactly. And that’s why every once in a while I have China or Carl scene with me. To remind me, no matter what, I’m the one in control.”
“Another fuck-you to your father, huh?” Nick shifted to his back again, trying to get comfortable.
“Yeah. You know, the funny thing is, I never knew how he found out back then. Not that it matters, but I was always curious.”
“He found out because of me.”
Surprised, Jake’s gaze flashed toward the open doorway at the sound of his brother’s voice. “Mike? What are you doing here? What do you mean because of you?”
Mike Donovan shut the door behind him and leaned against it. The sadness in his expression spoke volumes. “I’m here because Max called me.”
“What? He called you? Why?” Jake’s head was spinning. “How the hell do you even know him?”
“I didn’t before tonight. Apparently he knew who I was and where to find me. He called the bar after you left. Said you were on your way here and he was concerned about you.” Gesturing to the other chair in the room, he asked Nick, “Mind if I sit down?”
Nick’s eye’s narrowed. “Go ahead. But first, how long were you outside listening?”
“Since the nurse left.” Taking the seat, the older man’s face was etched with a combination of regret and pain as he prepared to unburden his soul. “Guess I should start at the beginning. I saw you that night, Jake, with Max, outside that video store. And I saw him kiss you. I’d dropped off a date and was cutting through that area to get home. Sitting at a red light, I was just looking around and happened to spot you. Pure coincidence.” He ran a hand down his face. “I was shocked at first. And then…I did the stupidest and most selfish thing of my life. I told Dad what I saw…where you were.”
Topping the Alpha: Trident Security Series Page 21
