by Julia Bright
As everything shifted inside him, Roan’s gut tightened as the realization hit him. This was all his fault. There was something he didn’t understand. Presley wasn’t the kind of person to play games.
Starting the car, he took a second to pull up his attorney’s personal telephone number in Chicago. He needed to know what his rights were, and what he’d need to do to make things better for Presley and Maddie.
“You’re going where?” Kady yelled at Presley over the phone.
An unsteady, anxious, pent-up breath exhaled as Presley absorbed the high-pitched yell of Kady’s shocked voice. She didn’t begrudge Kady the outburst; she even agreed, because everything inside her was screaming and throwing fits over this whole situation. She just couldn’t let her fear show. Not with Maddie a few feet from her, making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for their lunch with Roan.
Pivoting on her heels, she turned away from Maddie who had pushed a kitchen chair to the counter. Presley went to a small alcove between the kitchen and living room and saw Jessica coming from her bedroom. Presley immediately began to apologize for waking Jessica, moving the phone away from her mouth. “I’m sorry if we’re loud.”
“Not a problem. It was time to get up. Where’s the squirt?” Jessica asked, walking sleepy-eyed toward the kitchen. Jessica was as much a coffee drinker as Presley and couldn’t start her day without a cup or two to get her going.
“She’s making PB&J to take to her father’s house,” Presley answered, dropping that little bomb as casually as possible for Maddie’s sake. Jessica swiveled around, furrowing her brow, clearly trying to make sure she’d heard her right.
“What?” Jessica finally asked as complete confusion played out on her face. Presley held the phone away from her ear while Kady went off on another colorful rant, made worse by Kady’s terrible morning of having to deal with the boy band from hell. When Kady took a breath, and Jessica was right there in her face waiting for an answer, Presley jumped in, trying to explain as quietly as she could.
“He showed up in front of the building this morning. Maddie and I were coming out of the coffee shop and there he was. Roan and Maddie locked eyes, and they both seemed to just know. I tried to dodge him, but he came after us, and it was weird, Maddie held her ground and wanted to know him,” Presley explained to both her roommates.
“Are you okay?” Jessica asked, genuinely concerned.
“I’m scared,” she answered honestly, lucky that Kady had stayed silently listening.
“Of course you are,” Jessica said, rubbing a palm up and down her arm. “What’s Kady saying?”
That allowed Kady to loosen the tight hold she had on her tongue, and Presley extended the phone for Jessica to hear. Kady was her very best friend. The person who always, no matter what, had her back. Roan would be tried, found guilty, and sent to life in prison had Kady been the one in control of this situation. When Kady again paused, Presley jumped in, staring straight at Jessica as she spoke. “You should have seen Maddie. She was so grown up. She asked Roan if he was her father and then told him she’d been waiting for him to come for us.”
“Oh my God,” Jessica said, taking a step backward as she placed a hand over her heart. “That’s so sweet and sad at the same time.”
Kady went silent again. Presley held Jessica’s stare that said everything that couldn’t be said aloud. Finally, Jessica reached in and gave her a tight hug. “You’re doing the right thing. Maddie needs to know Roan for the good or the bad of it all.”
“I don’t want her hurt,” Presley confessed, desperate in that thought.
“Maybe he won’t hurt her. Maybe this is what he needs to be a better person,” Jessica countered optimistically.
“Pres, we didn’t tell you, because we didn’t want to worry you, but Roan went by Blaine’s club the other night,” Kady said, drawing her attention back to the phone.
“Roan talked to Blaine? Does Roan know?” In a day where her playing field had abruptly shifted, here was another massive disruption. Also, information that shouldn’t have been held from her.
“Blaine jumped his shit right away and never found out what he knew.”
Jessica was antsy, moving closer to the earpiece, trying to hear what Kady had to say. Presley quickly filled her in, only stopping when Maddie tore through the living room, running toward their bedroom.
“I bet he knows,” Jessica added when Maddie darted around the hall corner.
“I bet he does too,” Kady reaffirmed. Presley didn’t say a word. She hadn’t confessed to anyone how far things had gone last night between her and Roan, but now everything fell into place. Why Roan had shown up so unexpectedly last night then again this morning.
“Pres, do you want me to go with you?” Kady asked. Her protective friend would absolutely go to Roan’s and spend the day with her navigating all these murky waters. As much as she loved that idea, Kady would add a level of condemnation toward Roan that Maddie just didn’t need right now.
“No, I don’t think so. Maddie’s so excited. She made lunch for us all. You should see her. I hope he’s not a big dick to her,” Presley said, looking at Jessica.
“Maybe he won’t be.” Jessica patted her arm again before turning back to the kitchen. Maddie reappeared wearing her nice hand-me-down Easter dress, a pair of brightly glittered shoes in a color of complete contrast to the dress and a size bigger than she usually wore. She had also haphazardly clipped her long hair back off her face. She was so excited and trying hard to be at her best. Presley immediately burst into tears at the obvious void Maddie had in her life without a father figure. She’d never known Maddie felt this way.
“Mama, why are you crying?” Maddie’s happiness vanished as she came toward her.
“Are you crying? Why are you crying?” Kady asked in her ear, panicked.
“I’m just really proud of you, honey.” She bent to Maddie’s level and hugged her tight, holding her against her chest. The fear of the unknown scared her, but having Maddie hurt in the process was just more than she could consider. Presley said a silent prayer, begging the world to take care of her sweet little girl, knowing she had no control over what they were about to face. “You need to get some toys together and get your pad, okay?”
“I did.” Maddie pointed to the backpack she’d left where she was standing. Presley hadn’t even seen the bag lying there.
“Call me when you’re done and send me a text during it all so I don’t worry,” Kady said.
“I will.” Presley ended the call and squared her shoulders. As much as she didn’t want to do this, it was time to man-up. “Let me go wash my face and then we’ll go.”
“I’ll go get lunch.” Her worry magnified as Maddie did her signature move of a little excited jump before going to the kitchen to pack her food.
Chapter Thirteen
Roan paced his almost empty living room, frequently looking through the front windows toward the street and the driveway leading to his house. To say he’d gone through every range of emotion about a zillion times this morning would be an absolute understatement. So as he’d done over and over, Roan willed himself to calm the fuck down, but the longer it took for them to arrive, the harder that one act became.
He should have put a time frame on Presley’s arrival.
No, he should have made her fucking explain herself right there.
What if she didn’t show? Fuck. What would he do if she didn’t show? Screw it. He should have let his attorney handle this whole situation. Any woman that was shady enough not to tell him about a child wasn’t a stand-up, quality person.
Suddenly, his volleying thoughts shifted again.
He and Presley had had mind-blowing, hot as shit sex last night. No matter how she’d reacted afterward, he had no doubt that she’d wanted him just as badly as he’d wanted her. Roan closed his eyes, reliving the moment he’d dropped to his knees and buried his face in her wet pussy. The moment had been magic. He had craved her taste for so long. His mou
th began to water, wanting to have her like that again. Right then, his focus headed south, past the Mason-Dixon line, where his cock had turned hard as stone.
Fuck. Roan clenched both fists, trying to gain control. With deep calming breaths, he decided he was a first-class wacko, on the fast track to plain crazy. He had to get a hold of himself. This was all too much, but his ricocheting emotions were making him volatile, and he didn’t need that right now.
His only goal right now was to figure out what he wasn’t understanding. He couldn’t straighten out this situation without full knowledge, and by God, she was going to give him just that.
With firm resolve, Roan took a seat in the single recliner in the middle of his living room. He’d made this purchase to upgrade the lawn chair. As he dropped down in a huff, he let himself shoulder the blame for whatever had happened. He drew his gaze away from the window and looked around the room. The balance he’d achieved fled as his volleying thoughts went wayward again. He shouldn’t have even suggested they come today. What if Presley saw the place and deemed him too much a bachelor?
Up and out of the chair, Roan paced again. Well then, fuck her. She’s got Maddie living on the wrong side of town. He saw nothing wrong with his home that some furniture wouldn’t fix, and it was monumentally better than the place she lived. Presley should be pleased that Maddie had a place to come to that wasn’t a littered street with too many people crammed into a tiny space… Agitated again, Roan went straight to the full-length windows in the front of the house. He anchored a palm on the frame and used it to hold himself up as he lowered his head to his hand.
What the fuck was wrong with him? He was having a mental breakdown. He had to calm the fuck down. Fear and pain sliced across his heart. What if Maddie didn’t like him? What did he know about children? Nothing. He knew nothing. He had no siblings. He hadn’t been around children ever in his life. He was always so fucking serious. His learning curve was too much. He’d fail. And that would make Maddie not like him. His hand went to his heart as his breath came in short little gasps. Roan bent at the waist and dropped his head between his knees where he stood, gulping in breath. He was having a panic attack, hyperventilating, and with his vision blurring, he squatted, placing one hand on the window and the other on the carpet for balance. If he didn’t do something, he would surely pass out.
When he heard a door close outside, Roan bolted up, seeing Presley walking around her older-model compact car toward the backseat of the passenger side. Maddie was already out her door, gathering things from the car. She had a backpack and a grocery sack, and she also pulled out an old, well-loved stuffed animal. His heart swelled as he absorbed everything about the child. She wore a beautiful light pink satin dress that fit a little too small for her and a pair of sparkly royal blue shoes that looked as if they might be a slightly too large. The grin spreading across his lips had him wondering if she had dressed for him.
Everything settled inside both his heart and his head. Maddie seemed to have the same effect on him Presley did. The destructive nervousness eased as he continued to watch them walk up the sidewalk toward the front door. He just became more balanced now that they were around. Maddie walked side by side with Presley, her lips moving, chatting the whole way. Presley wore sunglasses, so he couldn’t see her expressive eyes, but her head tilted this way, looking up at the house until she finally saw him standing in the front window. She tripped on the first step, barely catching herself to stay on her feet.
He could relate. That was the way his whole damn morning had gone.
He went for the front door, opening it before they could knock or ring the bell. He plastered a smile on his face, hoped it showed genuine happiness as he looked only at Maddie. Presley’s frown didn’t look too inviting. Maddie appeared the only one wanting to be there. “I’ve been waiting on you.”
Maddie beamed at him and walked straight inside the house without being invited in. The wonderment in her stare took him in then moved to the interior of the house. It was shocking how much he already cared for this little girl. Instinctively, everything inside him wanted to take care of her, protect her from the world. When he pulled from the sudden intensity of those thoughts, he looked back at Presley who was reserved, her frown still in place. She stood on the front porch, not near as excited to be there as Maddie.
Roan took a step back, giving her room as he opened the door wider, extending a hand to encourage Presley inside.
“You live in a house. My friend Lily lives in a house, and I was gonna spend the night with her.”
He let the house comment go, having no idea what that meant. Roan stepped around a reluctant Presley, while trying to usher them both farther inside. “Come in. I don’t have a lot of furniture. I’ve been buying things as I needed them. Can I get you anything?”
Before Presley could answer, Maddie did. “I made lunch.” Not necessarily the question he’d asked, but still an answer nonetheless.
She held out a sack, showing him some squashed sandwiches that looked like peanut butter and jelly based on the content coating the baggies. They were smashed by the water bottles and apples placed all in the same sack.
“She’s very thorough when she puts her mind to something. This was her wanting to make you lunch.” Presley’s clipped voice drew his gaze up. He stared her in the eyes as she spoke. Eyes he’d always loved.
“Mmm, peanut butter’s my favorite,” Roan said, taking the sack Maddie held out. She nodded as though she already knew that fact, and his grin grew to a chuckle as he reached out to pat her head.
“Peanut butter’s my favorite too, except Grandma’s. Hers doesn’t taste right, and there’s water on top. I spill it,” Maddie said, still looking only at him as she explained. She held an expectant gaze, as if he was supposed to know what that all meant. Since he was clueless, he looked back at Presley, hoping she’d translate kid-speak. Luckily, she did.
“My mom eats organic. She stirs her peanut butter.”
“Ah, okay. I’ll make sure I never get the wrong peanut butter.” Roan started for the kitchen with their lunch and then stopped, turning back to Presley who hadn’t moved a step since she’d entered the living room. “How do you want to do this?”
He hoped Presley understood the question. They had to talk, but he also wanted to spend time with Maddie. If they spoke first, and Presley stormed out, she’d take Maddie with her. The anxiety was back, but he squashed that down as he made the decision to just live in the moment. Try not to control it.
“Do you have cable?” Presley asked, Maddie’s intuitive gaze moving between the both of them.
“A form of that, yes,” he answered.
That seemed to excite Maddie. She gave a single jump at his answer.
“Wanna see if they have Nickelodeon?” Presley asked, feigning a look of excitement toward Maddie
“Yes!” She squealed happily.
“We don’t have cable, and she loves the Disney Channel and Nickelodeon. Maybe we could talk while she watches television.”
Maddie went to the single chair in the room, slinging her backpack off her shoulders and onto the floor before she scooted on the seat. She was already so comfortable in his home, and he had to admit, she settled him in ways he didn’t quite understand. Seconds ago, he had earnestly feared passing out from all the anxiety, and now, he was balanced. That was also a trait her mother had possessed all those years ago. Roan cast his quick gaze in Presley’s direction while placing the lunch on the kitchen counter before returning his attention to his daughter. Maddie pushed backward, getting herself comfortable. Now that her attention had been diverted, she seemed completely oblivious to all the tension shooting between him and her mother.
“Sounds good to me. Let’s go see what we got.” Roan changed course, going for the remote control. He searched the channel guide while Maddie started talking. Roan listened, but decided she might not be talking to him more than at him because he had no idea what the Nick show the Loud House was. She se
emed fine without his encouragement. When he got the television on the proper channel and the volume turned up, he also added the surround sound to hopefully drown out his and Presley’s conversation. He looked at Presley, nodded toward the kitchen, and then started that direction.
As hard as all this was on Presley, Maddie’s big brown adoring eyes had stayed focused on her father while he’d worked the remote control, asked questions about channels, and seemed to really listen to her overlong explanations about the best cartoons on television. Taking a deep steadying breath, she decided that was enough for right now.
“We can see her from the kitchen, but if we talk quietly, she shouldn’t hear.”
Presley followed him. There were two large openings separating the kitchen from the living room. A fireplace built into a wall blocked a portion of the space. Presley went to the far side of the kitchen, closest to the table where she could see Maddie from that angle. Roan stood on the other side, keeping a large granite island between them. She felt sure Maddie could see either of them if she tried.
“Where do you want to begin?” Presley asked, the tension and anxiety coursing through her had a frown forming, and she crossed her arms tightly over her chest. A move designed to hold herself together more than anything else. Roan’s steely stare watched her closely, mimicking her moves until a frown replaced the passive expression staring back at her.
