by I. T. Lucas
Chapter 37: Jackson
Jackson shook his head and pulled the bristling Tessa into his arms. “Don’t get all worked up over nothing. We don’t have to even make a pledge to be considered a couple. Everyone knows we are together.”
She punched his chest. “So why did you start with that whole thing if you knew it wasn’t necessary?”
He kissed the top of her head. “Sheath your little claws, kitten. I’m the one who should be upset. As far as I’m concerned I already pledged myself to you, the only thing missing were witnesses. But your refusal to do the same hurts.”
She stopped her struggles and wrapped her arms around his neck, stretching on the tips of her toes to reach him. “I love you. Never doubt it. And I pledge that I always will. But I’m not ready for any official announcements just so we can get priority on a house or any other material benefit. It cheapens what we feel for each other. Don’t you agree?”
He didn’t. One had nothing to do with the other. The house was a side benefit, and he saw no reason not to take advantage of their status as a couple to secure it for them. “It doesn’t matter if I agree or not. The only thing that matters is how you feel about it. We will do whatever you want, Tessa. I’m not pressuring you into anything.”
She sighed. “I know. Let’s forget about this whole discussion and look at houses just for the fun of it.”
“I’m all for it.”
As they walked down the winding pathway between the buildings, Jackson couldn’t shake the tinge of unease Tessa’s rejection had caused. She loved him, he didn’t doubt that, but she still wasn’t one hundred percent committed the way he was.
Why?
Looking back, he couldn’t think of a single thing he’d done wrong. He’d been gentle, and patient, supportive, and loving. Everything women supposedly wanted.
Had he gotten it wrong?
Jackson had always made fun of the guys who couldn’t figure women out. He’d believed himself an expert, priding himself on knowing exactly what women wanted and needed but were too coy or too confused to ask for.
The problem between most men and women was communication.
Men accepted things at face value, listening half-heartedly beyond the first sentence or two. They ignored subtle clues like the tone of voice and the body language, which betrayed so much more. Women were more attuned to those clues, and they expected their men to be as astute, getting upset when the poor schmucks didn’t get it.
Apparently, he wasn’t getting it either.
“Is that one taken?” Tessa pointed to a two-story house with a wrap-around porch.
Jackson checked his map. “Yes. That one is Nathalie and Andrew’s.”
They walked down the lane with Jackson checking each house. “This one is available.” He pointed to a one-story ranch style house with a front porch.
“Then let’s take a look.” Tessa marched toward the door pulling him behind her.
For someone who’d just a few minutes ago bashed him for wanting to secure a good home for them, she was sure eager to explore.
“Nice,” he said as they walked inside. He loved the open plan combining the living room, dining room and kitchen into one big space. A perfect layout for hanging out with friends.
“How many bedrooms does it have?” Tessa asked while pulling the pantry door open and peeking inside.
Jackson looked at the printout. “Two bedrooms, two bathrooms and a study that can be converted into a bedroom.”
Tessa closed the pantry door. “Perfect.” She strode toward the hallway and opened the first door. “It’s gorgeous. Come take a look.”
He followed her into the master bedroom. Long and narrow, it was big enough for a king-sized bed against its narrow back wall, and a sitting area in front of it, facing a fireplace. But the nicest part was the private patio and the French doors leading to it. Jackson could imagine Tessa and him drinking their morning coffees out there.
“We can hang a television screen above the mantel.” Tessa pointed.
She was already taking ownership of the house. Funny girl. Jackson opened the double door to the bathroom and smiled. “A whirlpool tub, a glass enclosed shower for two, two sinks.” He opened another door. “And a separate room with a toilet and a bidet. I’m in.”
“I love it.” Tessa turned in a circle, then opened the next set of double doors. “Look at this closet, Jackson. We can make an office out of it. It’s huge.”
He walked up to her, wrapped his arms around her front, and pulled her back into him, resting his chin on the top of her head. “We can’t. Where are you going to hang all the sexy outfits I’m going to buy for you?”
She turned around in his arms, a happy smile brightening her small face. “I could manage with less than half of the space, but there is no window, so no office.”
“Hmm, no window, you say. So if we close those doors we will have total privacy.” He didn’t shut them, leaving a wide crack to admit some light. Tessa didn’t like total darkness.
She narrowed her eyes at him. “What do you have in mind?”
He picked her up, waiting for her to wrap her legs around his waist before carrying her to the nearest wall. “Just a little necking.” He kissed her neck.
“Just a little?”
“Hmm, let’s see.” He pulled her T-shirt up, exposing her bra-covered breasts, and kissed the tops before unhooking it and pushing it up as well.
Perky breasts topped with small puckered nipples made his mouth water. Jackson licked his lips. “Sweet berries.” He dipped his head and treated one to several long licks.
On a moan, Tessa let her head drop back, her hands coming up to fist his hair and hold him to her.
“Lift your arms, baby.”
When she did, he pulled her shirt and bra off. “That’s better.” He swiped his tongue around her other nipple.
“Jackson.”
It was a throaty whisper that could’ve meant so many things. After their previous argument, he was no longer sure he could guess what she wanted.
“What, kitten? Tell me what you need.”
She cupped his cheeks and brought his mouth to hers, kissing him with passion and abandon which a few weeks ago he would’ve never believed she could summon.
Her spark hadn’t been extinguished; it had remained hidden somewhere beneath the wreckage, under the scars and the fears. Freed, it was burning bright.
Had it been his gentle coaxing that had nurtured that spark into a healthy flame? Could he at least take partial credit for that miraculous transformation?
Yesterday, he would’ve claimed it as his doing without batting an eyelid. Yesterday, he would have said that he was born to be the best lover of women a man could be.
Today, he wasn’t so sure.
Chapter 38: Tessa
“What, kitten? Tell me what you need.”
Tessa didn’t know.
She wanted so many things.
She wanted to kiss Jackson until he forgot the hurtful words she’d hurled at him because she was afraid to hope too much.
She wanted this house to become their home.
She wanted to raise children with the man she loved even though they were both too young to even think of such things.
She wanted Jackson to lower her to the carpet-covered floor and make love to her and plant a baby inside her right now.
Tessa wanted a lot of things she couldn’t have.
Not today and not tomorrow, but maybe someday.
There was one thing she could do today, though. She could give back at least a fraction of what he’d given her.
“I love you, Jackson, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I’m sorry if what I said before hurt your feelings. That wasn’t my intention.”
He sighed and rested his forehead on hers. “You know that I love you and that I’ll wait as long as it takes. I’m an immortal. Time and chronological age have little meaning to me.”
She hadn’t thought of that.
&
nbsp; Of course he would have a different perspective than her.
But even if the thought had crossed her mind, she would’ve thought that an immortal would feel like a teenager at sixty, not that an eighteen-year-old would feel mature enough to commit to a lifelong relationship.
Maybe it really wasn’t about chronological age. Maybe Jackson’s soul was old. Some people were like that. Sometimes children possessed wisdom that the adults around them lacked.
Perhaps he was really ready, and she was too close-minded to see that, blindly following society’s inflexible rules, when she was the last one who should feel bound by them. Society hadn’t been kind to her. The rules governing what was decent and what was not hadn’t been applied to her.
She should make her own rules to live by. Simple ones. The first rule she’d follow was to give back as much as she was given. Vengeance for wrongdoing, love for love, and pleasure for pleasure.
“Put me down.”
Jackson frowned but did as she asked.
He always did.
Tessa continued her descent until her knees touched the floor, then reached for his belt buckle.
He caught her hands and pulled them away. “What are you doing?”
She smirked. “What does it look like I’m doing?”
“I don’t want you to.”
“Oh, yeah? You don’t like oral sex?”
“Of course I do, but not like this. Not on your knees.” He whispered the last words with a pained expression on his face.
She pulled her hands out of his grasp and stroked his thighs. “I know you think this is degrading, but it’s not. Not with you, not when you’ve only ever shown me love and respect. We have no bed to lie on, no couch to snuggle on. And this works. Can you let me do this?”
He nodded, even though given his pinched expression he was still unsure.
Sweet guy. Jackson was the universe’s way of righting the wrong, rewarding her after screwing her over so badly.
Leaning against the wall, Jackson let his arms fall at his sides, submitting to her and what she wanted to do to him.
Even before she unbuckled his belt and pulled on the zipper, it was quite obvious that his arousal was gone. Her suspicion was confirmed when she pulled his pants and his boxer shorts down.
He hadn’t been kidding when he’d said he didn’t want it like this.
Jackson must’ve been the only healthy male alive who went limp at the prospect of a blow job.
She regretted pressuring him into something he felt uncomfortable about. He’d never done it to her even when he’d thought she’d enjoy it. But it was too late to retreat now. Tessa had a point to prove—more to herself than to Jackson.
First, she kissed the tip to let him know she was doing this out of love. Then she kissed another spot and another until he hardened in her hand. When she treated him to a long lick, starting at the tip and going all the way down to the base, Jackson groaned and got even harder.
She got him.
At first, Tessa just licked and pumped, stopping only to pepper him with small teasing kisses before resuming her ministrations. It wasn’t the way she’d been taught to do this, but that was the whole point. Nor was it the first time Tessa had been on her knees in front of a man, but this was the first time she was doing it because she wanted to and not because someone was forcing her.
Tessa intended to make it as different of an experience as possible, wiping the slate clean by doing it her way.
His palms glued to the wall behind him, Jackson held himself still as a statue. The only signs that he was enjoying this were his harsh breaths and the hard length pulsating in her hand.
Lifting her gaze to him, she took the tip into her mouth.
He sucked in a breath, his hooded eyes blazing with an inner light that was enough to illuminate the darkened interior of the closet.
There was no more doubt that Jackson loved what she was doing.
For a few moments, Tessa sucked, licked and pumped, enjoying the taste and the feel of him in her mouth. Sweet and tangy, hard but covered in velvety softness, he was perfect in every way a man could be.
Jackson groaned, his strong thigh muscles straining against his need to thrust.
Should she take him all the way to the back of her throat?
Could she?
Tessa had done this countless times before, but then it had been part of her torture. Could the same act bring about different sensations when done willingly?
Could it actually turn her on?
It was time to find out.
Bracing a hand on Jackson’s hip in an instinctual attempt to hold him in place, preventing him from thrusting before she was ready, Tessa closed her eyes and took him a little deeper. Then a little deeper yet.
Jackson’s breathing became ragged, but he still didn’t move an inch.
Filling her lungs with air, Tessa loosened her throat muscles and took him as far as he would go.
Jackson jerked, trying to pull back, but with his butt against the wall, he had nowhere to go. His next move was the least expected of all. He went flaccid, his erection shrinking inside her mouth.
Why?
Did she accidentally scrape him with her teeth?
Letting go of him in a rush, she expected to see a scratch. But there was nothing. He was as smooth and as perfect as always.
“What happened?” she asked.
Jackson glided down until his butt hit the floor, then reached for her, cradling her in his arms. “A bad thought.” He hugged her closer.
What kind of a bad thought could’ve ruined his mood like that?
Had he remembered a bad experience?
Had some nasty girl bitten him?
Then it dawned on her. It wasn’t about something Jackson had experienced himself. It was about what she’d experienced. What she’d done wasn’t something a novice could do. It had taken a lot of practice and beatings to conquer her gag reflex. Was he disgusted by her? Had her expertise driven the point home that she wasn’t clean?
How could he hold on to her with such ferocity while being disgusted by her?
“Let me go, Jackson,” she croaked as tears started running down her cheeks.
His arms around her tightened even more. “I’m not letting you move an inch.”
She struggled even though she knew it was futile. “Let me go! I’m disgusting to you!”
“What?” His grip on her loosened just enough so he could look at her face. “What are you talking about? And why the hell are you crying?”
God, what had happened to him? Why did he want to humiliate her further by forcing her to spell it out?
“You went soft on me. I thought I hurt you, scraped you with my teeth or something, but that wasn’t the reason. You finally internalized how soiled I am. Didn’t you?”
Jackson crushed her to him with a force that had the air in her lungs leave with a whoosh. “Oh, baby, you’re so wrong, I could never think that of you. You’re my love and my sunshine. You’re everything to me.”
He sounded so sincere that she had to believe him. “So what happened?”
Jackson sighed. “You’re so tiny, Tessa. I’ve been with girls a foot taller than you who were experienced as hell and still couldn’t take me as far as you did. I couldn’t help thinking about what you had to go through to be able to do that. I can’t think about you suffering and stay aroused. I’m just not wired that way.”
“I know.”
She put her head on his chest, and as he held her close, the tears kept coming, and there was nothing she could do to stop them.
“I’m sorry,” she hiccupped. “I can’t stop.”
Jackson stroked her hair. “It’s okay. Let it all out, kitten, I got you.”
Chapter 39: Brundar
Her hands braced on her hips, her head lowered to avoid Brundar’s eyes, Kri shook it from side to side. “Please don’t ask me to do that. I’ve never even held a whip in my hand.”
He’d expected her to bal
k at his request, but she was his only option. Only another Guardian could deliver his penance, and she was the only female Guardian.
Having a male at his back might override his logic circuits and lead to disastrous results. Some reactions were instinctive and too powerful to control.
If he wasn’t capable of tolerating even a casual touch from his own brother, there was no chance he could tolerate a male with a whip executing his punishment.
Brundar would never forgive himself if he attacked a fellow Guardian. He wasn’t sure anyone could pry him off the guy before he delivered a deadly dose of venom.
“I’ll show you how.”
She shook her head again. “Why me? Why not Bhathian? He’s done it before.”
Damnation. Revealing his true reasons was not an option, no one other than Anandur knew what had happened to him. But he had to tell her something to convince her. Perhaps his reputation would come handy for once.
“I prefer a woman with a whip.”
Kri’s face twisted in a grimace. “Ugh, Brundar, that’s gross. I’m your cousin. I’m not going to help get your rocks off.”
That hadn’t come out as intended. “Get your head out of the gutter, Kri. This is not a sex game.”
“So what is it? You have to give me a reason to do something I really don’t want to do.”
Brundar held her gaze. “If a male delivers the punishment, I’m afraid the pain would cloud my reasoning and evoke an instinctive, aggressive response. I don’t want to kill one of my friends.”
“How do you know you’re not going to attack me?”
“The instinct is not going to kick in with a female at my back.”
“You sure about that?”
“A hundred percent.”
Kri let her head drop down. “Fine. But don’t blame me if you end up with a back that looks like ground meat. You really should pick someone experienced.”
