by Andre, Bella
She was his one. His only.
His forever.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
The following afternoon, Colleen was almost sparkling as she walked into the café where Kerry was meeting her for a cup of coffee. It had been so long since Colleen had looked happy—truly happy—that Kerry’s heart filled with hope. Maybe her sister had finally turned the corner!
Kerry was really glad she’d moved her meetings around when Colleen had texted from out of the blue asking if they could have lunch. Two unplanned lunches in two days made Kerry’s once perfectly rigid calendar look like a thing of the past, but it actually didn’t bother her all that much. Not when she was feeling kind of sparkly herself lately.
“You look amazing,” Kerry said when they hugged hello.
“I feel amazing.” Colleen couldn’t stop smiling as she sat down. The waiter came by and took their coffee orders, with Colleen adding a big piece of chocolate cake for them to share. “I swear this must be the best day of my life.” She hugged herself. “Payton came back to me.”
Kerry was so surprised that everything froze for a moment. Her brain. Her smile.
But especially her heart.
It was suddenly all too clear why Colleen was sparkling and filled with joy: The man she’d never gotten over had returned.
Kerry tried to find words, any words, to say to her sister. But she couldn’t even seem to pry her lips apart at this point, not unless she wanted her sister to see her growling over Payton’s return.
Fortunately, Colleen was too far over the moon to notice Kerry’s reaction. “He was waiting on my front step last night with flowers. The most beautiful bouquet you’ve ever seen. He said he was sorry. So sorry that he ever hurt me. He said he’s missed me every second we’ve been apart. He said he never stopped loving me, and then he begged me to forgive him.” Colleen put her hand over her heart and sighed happily. “We weren’t even inside the house and he said all of that. He couldn’t wait another second to let me know that he’s a changed man.”
“Wow.”
It was the best Kerry could do right then, but she knew she needed to do better. Adam had helped her with her sister enough times that now she found herself wishing he could be there with them again. Maybe he could have helped her figure out what to do and how she could possibly help her sister now. The strangers her sister met at bars had all been horrible, but Payton had never been much better. In fact, he was probably worse, because when he told Colleen he loved her, she believed him, and then she fell apart when he cheated on her repeatedly, stole from her, and then left her.
“What did you do?” Kerry finally managed. “What did you say?”
“You mean before or after we went inside and had the world’s best make-up sex?” Colleen laughed, loudly enough that several other people in the coffee shop looked over and smiled at them. “I told him I’d never stopped loving him either.” Colleen held out her hand, and Kerry finally saw the engagement ring. “We’re going to Vegas tonight to get married.”
“Tonight?”
Oh God, how could Kerry possibly talk her sister out of getting married when she had only a matter of hours?
“Sorry, sis,” Colleen said with a shrug. “I know you probably want to throw us one of your fancy weddings, but that’s never been my speed.” And it was true that even as kids, her sister had never been the least bit interested in their mother’s wedding business. “One of those Elvis-themed chapels is going to be perfect.”
Kerry knew she had to be careful how she approached this situation, even more careful than she’d been before. “Are you sure you want to move so quickly? Maybe you could see how the next few weeks or months go, and then—”
“The way I feel about him isn’t going to change.” Colleen looked absolutely certain. “I’ve loved him from the first day. I’ll love him until the last. So why should we wait?”
Because he doesn’t seem to love you the same way!
It took all of Kerry’s self-control not to blurt out the words that would, without a doubt, rip her sister away from her forever.
The chocolate cake came, and Colleen took a huge bite. “Got to get back some of those calories I burned last night. All night long, thank you very much. God, he’s such an amazing lover. Better than ever before, actually, now that we’re back together.” She gestured to Kerry’s fork. “You should eat some before I mow through the whole thing.”
Kerry made herself pick up her fork, if for no other reason than to buy herself some time to figure out what to say. There had to be a way to get through to Colleen.
But before she could come up with any way to approach it that wouldn’t have her sister throwing her fork at her and storming out of the café, Colleen said, “So, how’s the hunk?”
Kerry froze again, this time with her fork halfway into the cake. “The hunk?”
Colleen rolled her eyes. “Oh, come on, don’t play dumb with me and act like you don’t know who I’m talking about.”
If they were still as close as they’d once been when they were little girls, Kerry would have already told her sister all about Adam. About how happy he made her. About how he was teaching her how much fun it could be to actually have fun. And about how sometimes...sometimes she found herself wanting more than just an arrangement of friends getting some sexy benefits with each other in a hotel once a week.
But ever since Colleen had first started dating Payton, her sister had pulled away, and it had been a long time since they’d shared secrets.
Knowing it was by only the barest luck that her sister had been too self-involved to ask about the hunk before now, Kerry said, “Adam’s fine.”
“Fine?” Colleen took another huge bite of cake. “He looked a hell of a lot better than fine those two times I saw him. Just a few little details between sisters, that’s all I’m asking for.”
Knowing Colleen wouldn’t stop pushing until she got something out of her, Kerry said, “We have fun together.”
“Multiple-times-a-night fun, I hope. I mean, when a guy looks like he does.”
Kerry knew the color taking over her cheeks was giving away just how true that was, even as she tried to shift directions by saying, “We’re friends.”
Her sister gave her a knowing look. “Friends who are clearly having slamming-hot sex.” Colleen looked even more pleased when Kerry’s blush confirmed it. “Good for you, finally letting go for once in your life. And with one of the hottest guys I’ve ever seen while you’re at it!”
On the nights when Colleen had been drunk and said these kinds of things, Kerry had been able to blame it on the alcohol. But at noon on a Thursday in the middle of a crowded downtown café, she finally had to admit that Colleen truly thought she was uptight and boring.
“Now that you’ve hooked him in the sack,” her sister continued, “we just have to figure out how to get him to declare his undying love for you and give you that ring I know you’re longing for.”
“I’m not longing for a ring!” Kerry shot back before she could moderate her tone. “I told you, we’re just friends. The fact that we’re having sex doesn’t mean anything.”
Colleen’s eyebrows went up in surprise. “Wow, look who finally got a backbone.”
Kerry had to grit her teeth to keep from snarling.
“Look,” Colleen said in a soothing tone, “I can see that you believe what you’re saying, but the truth is—sex always means something. It’s why I was so upset with Payton when he cheated on me. And it’s also why I never slept with any of the guys at those bars.”
Just as quickly as she’d fired up, Kerry felt herself deflate. She hadn’t been surprised by all the talk about hot sex, but hearing this wisdom coming from her sister, who had been falling deeper and deeper down the rabbit hole these past few months? Honestly, it was almost as unexpected as Colleen’s take on the importance of sex.
And then her sister surprised her yet again by putting her hand over Kerry’s. “You’re so in love with Adam. Anyone ca
n see it in the dreamy expression on your face when you’re talking about him. Anyone can hear it in the way you say his name, like it’s the most beautiful word in the world.” Colleen squeezed her hand. “Why won’t you just admit it?”
Admit that she’d fallen in love with Adam?
Panic gripped Kerry like a vise, wrapping so tightly around her chest that she could barely breathe. “I’m not...I’m not in…”
She couldn’t bring herself even to say the word love. Not when even that felt like too much of an admission.
“It’s not a crime to fall in love, you know,” Colleen said. “No matter what Mom always said. Just because her relationship with our father was bad doesn’t mean that we should have to settle for boring sticks in the mud just to try to keep ourselves safe from heartache.” Colleen looked into Kerry’s eyes. “Forget what you’ve always been told. Forget what you’ve always thought you needed to do, the person you’ve always thought you needed to be. What do you want?”
“I just want to be happy.”
“And does Adam make you happy?”
“He does.” So happy. “But—”
“You’re overthinking it all,” Colleen said with a disappointed shake of her head. “Just can’t get Mom’s voice out of your head, can you?”
“It’s not just Mom,” Kerry said. How could she just leap and not worry about the fall? How could anyone? “I mean, you were so upset these past months, too.”
“I know my relationship with Payton isn’t perfect,” Colleen admitted, “but I still love him, so of course I want to take him back and try again. And, honestly, I’ve never felt so happy in all my life. Don’t you want to feel this good? Like you could fly? Like anything is possible? Like nothing could ever bring you down again?”
“Of course I do,” Kerry told her sister. And the truth was that she felt all of those things every time she was with Adam.
But the part of the equation that her sister was conveniently leaving off was—what if you were happy for a little while, and then later, it turned out to be only a fleeting happiness when the crash came and your heart was crushed into a million little pieces? Wouldn’t that mean you’d been foolish to have placed all of your faith in that happiness?
Especially when Kerry not only knew enough about Adam’s past to know what a huge risk it would be to give her heart to him, but she also knew precisely what he didn’t want from his future. “You’re looking for forever with someone and I’m not,” was what he’d flat-out said to her that day they’d agreed to meet at hotels for sexy fun. And then later, when she’d started to freak out about getting too close to him, he’d reminded her, “We’re both adults. It’s not going to get messy.”
He was clearly a master at arrangements like theirs. Whereas she was the one in danger of making the mistake of letting her emotions tangle up with all the sex so that it started to look like love.
“He’s here!”
Colleen’s face lit up again, brighter than ever, as she leapt out of her seat. Kerry turned to see Payton walk through the door, smug as always in the knowledge that he had all the power.
He looked in no way regretful or apologetic. On the contrary, Kerry thought he looked more cocky than ever—now that he knew for sure he could screw around on her sister as much as he wanted and Colleen would wait for him whenever he decided to come back to her for a little while.
Kerry’s fists curled beneath the tablecloth, and she had to work to shove down the fierce urge to punch him as he said, “Kerry, it’s good to see you again.”
Even though she knew how badly her sister wanted her to accept Payton back into their lives, Kerry simply couldn’t lie and tell him anything about this situation was good. She wanted to drag him outside and tell him what a mess her sister’s life had been for the past several months. She wanted to show him all the nasty bars Colleen had gotten drunk in. She wanted to introduce him to all of the creeps who could have hurt her sister. She wished she could show him just how deep the destruction he’d wrought had been.
Kerry was glad for her heels so that she was eye to eye with the jerk, and he wouldn’t get to feel that he was towering over her. She had to forcefully unclench her teeth as she said, “Payton.”
Thankfully, he was smart enough not to try to hug her, or even to shake her hand. But Colleen was so high up in the clouds that she didn’t seem to notice any of the tension between her boyfriend—oh God, he was her fiancé now—and her sister.
“I was just telling Kerry how incredibly happy we are,” Colleen told him. “So happy that we’ve decided to head to Vegas to make it official.”
Payton smiled at Colleen. “You ready to go now, baby? I can’t wait another second to make you mine.”
“I’m more than ready.” Colleen kissed him passionately in full view of everyone at the café.
“I’ll pick us up a couple of coffees for the road while you say good-bye to your sister.”
Kerry tried to smile back at her beaming sister. “I hope he’s good to you, Colleen. I hope you’ll be happy. That’s all I want for you, too.”
“I know.” Her sister’s smile suddenly fell away as her expression grew serious. In a soft voice that only Kerry could hear, Colleen said, “Thanks for all those nights you came to get me. Without you, I might have gotten into some really bad scrapes.”
More than anything in the world, Kerry wanted to save her sister from another bad scrape. Quite possibly one of the worst of all—marrying someone who would never treat her right. Only, Kerry knew she couldn’t save her sister this time. Just as Adam had said, Colleen would have to decide to save herself.
Which meant that there was nothing left for Kerry to say, except for the one thing that would never change no matter how much friction there was between her and her sister. “I love you,” she whispered.
“I love you, too, little sis.”
And as they hugged, Kerry hoped her sister could hear everything she was forcing herself not to say aloud: No matter what, no matter when, anytime you need me, all you have to do is call, and I’ll be there.
* * *
Kerry paid the bill for the coffee and cake, then went to the bathroom to splash some cold water on her face. It didn’t help, unfortunately, and she still looked pale and shell-shocked by everything that had just happened. But she would have to find a way to put it all out of her head for a few hours, because she had some really important afternoon meetings.
A part of her wanted nothing more than to go to Adam’s office and ask him to get in the car with her and speed to Las Vegas after her sister, to see if together they could figure out a way to stop the wedding.
But at the same time, the other part of her couldn’t get Colleen’s words out of her head. “You’re so in love with Adam. Anyone can see it in the dreamy expression on your face when you’re talking about him. Anyone can hear it in the way you say his name, like it’s the most beautiful word in the world. Why won’t you just admit it?”
Kerry’s brain—and heart—were whirling around and around, faster and faster, as she stepped out of the café. Three and a half weeks ago, everything had seemed so clear. Until Adam Sullivan had come into her life and everything had started changing from one smile, one kiss, one night in his arms to the next.
Just then, her phone rang with her mother’s ring tone. Kerry already had a splitting headache, probably from gritting her teeth so hard while trying not to punch out Payton. But that was no excuse not to pick up her mother’s call. Especially when Kerry knew exactly why she was calling.
“Have you talked to your sister?” her mother said without preamble.
“Yes, we just spoke.”
“I’m beside myself,” her mother said. “Absolutely beside myself.”
Kerry could already hear that her usually unflappable mother did indeed seem to be coming unglued. “Mom,” she began, even though she wasn’t sure what to say to make everything better, “I know how worried you are, but—”
“But nothing! After
all he did to her, now she’s going back to him? I tried to talk some sense into her, but she refused to listen to me. She’s always listened to you, Kerry. You need to talk to her, tell her not to walk back into the arms of a man who has already proved that he can never be faithful.”
Kerry knew better than to take sides, especially if Payton was going to be in Colleen’s life for a while. She wouldn’t lose her sister over him. But she couldn’t upset her mother, either. For so many months she’d been teetering on a tightrope by covering for Colleen’s dangerously wild Friday nights. Knowing the tightrope had just become even higher and thinner made her head throb so hard she felt sick.
“From the conversation we just had,” Kerry said as gently as she could, “it sounds like she’s made up her mind. But she knows we’re here for her if she ever needs us.”
“You’re right. She’s a lost cause. His hold over her is too big. Too strong. But, please, Kerry,” her mother said in a desperate voice, “please promise me you’ll never make the mistake your sister’s making. I knew the first time I met Payton that he was trouble. He’s had too many women. Had too much of a reputation. Just like your father.” Her mother didn’t say, Just like Adam Sullivan, but Kerry swore she could hear the words anyway. “Heartbreak is all men like that have to give. Promise me you’ll keep being smart and sensible and wait for a nice man to come along. Promise me!”
Kerry’s head was pounding so hard, and her chest was so tightly constricted that she was having trouble taking a full breath. Her mother’s plea to promise me you’ll never make the mistake your sister’s making was getting all tangled up in her head with Colleen’s admission that I know my relationship with Payton isn’t perfect, but I still love him, so I have to go back.
In their family, so much pain had come from—and would likely continue to come—in the name of love. Before Adam, Kerry wouldn’t have understood how her sister could go back to her ex the way she had. But now that Adam had shown her such joy and pleasure, she could see all too clearly just how easy it would be to fall into the trap Colleen was in.
