by Noelle Adams
Seven
If Ben didn’t stop pestering her and shooting her searching looks, Mandy was just going to scream. She was normally a very even-tempered person. When she got annoyed by things, it never took long for her to fall back into her typical good mood. So it was strange and disheartening to feel on the edge of screaming like this.
Because of Ben.
They were sitting at a light on their way home from the store, and she could feel Ben’s eyes on her again, searching, questioning, frustrated.
“Would you stop?” she asked sharply, without even turning to look at him.
“I haven’t said a thing since we got in the car.”
“I wasn’t referring to something you said. I was referring to you staring at me like that.”
“I’ll stop staring when you tell me what the fuck is wrong with you.”
“Am I not allowed to be in a bad mood? You’re certainly in bad moods often enough. Isn’t it possible that I might be in one too occasionally?”
“You’re never in bad moods unless there’s a reason.”
She made a rough sound of complete exasperation and rubbed her face with her hands. She should have just come out with what she’d learned about his identity as soon as she’d seen him. It would have been simpler¸ more reasonable.
But she didn’t want to be reasonable. He had betrayed her, and now he was acting like she owed it to him to tell him the truth.
She wasn’t going to give him what he wanted, just because he was demanding it of her.
She didn’t owe Ben anything.
“I’ll tell you when I’m ready,” she said at last, since he wasn’t going to stop pushing unless she gave him something.
When she glanced over, she saw he was gazing at her, that same searching question in his dark eyes. “Will you?” he asked, softer, milder.
“Yes.”
He let out a breath, and she was pretty sure he was willing himself to let it go for the time being. He wasn’t always reasonable either, but he was clearly trying to convince himself to be at the moment. “Okay. I’m going to hold you to that.”
She had no doubt that he would.
***
As they were pulling into the driveway of the house, Mandy saw a man sitting on the bench at the front of the house.
He was obviously waiting because he stood up as soon as the car turned into the drive. He was startlingly good-looking with a build a lot like Ben’s but a clean-shaven face, strong jaw, and a warm grin.
“Fuck,” Ben muttered, obviously seeing the man too. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.”
“Who is he?” she asked, genuinely curious at the man’s appearance and Ben’s negative response to him.
“My cousin. What the fuck is he doing here?” He was frowning coldly the way he did when he was genuinely displeased and not just putting on a grumpy show.
They parked the car and then walked around to the front, instead of going in the side the way they normally would have. Mandy could feel the tension in Ben’s body as he walked beside her, and it provoked a little chill of nerves down her spine.
If he was this reluctant to greet this good-looking man, then maybe she should be too.
“There you are,” the man said, still grinning as they approached. “I’ve been sitting here for fifteen minutes. I was getting afraid that the lady across the street who keeps peeking out from behind her curtains was going to call the cops on me.”
Mandy decided that, no matter what Ben’s response was, there was nothing to be afraid of in this man. She’d never seen such a warm grin. She laughed softly as she glanced back and saw that, indeed, the elderly woman across the street was peeking out at them again.
The man clapped Ben on the shoulder when they stepped up onto the stoop, as if Ben wasn’t glowering at him. “Good to see you, Ben.” He turned to Mandy. “I’m Andrew Damon. It’s very nice to meet you.”
She shook his hand with a smile and introduced herself. Then she looked over at Ben, waiting for him to say something.
“What are you doing here?”
“Ben,” she chided softly.
Andrew just laughed. She wasn’t positive she would have recognized him, had she not already figured out Ben’s identity, but she might have. For several years, he’d been notorious for playing the dating field across the U.S. and Europe, although he apparently had settled down recently. “Don’t worry about it,” he said. “I wasn’t expecting a warm welcome. Isn’t your mom home?”
“She’s out shopping this morning,” Mandy explained, when Ben didn’t make any effort to reply. She wasn’t sure what was wrong with him. While he was normally blunt and never overtly friendly, he wasn’t usually quite so hostile. “She’ll be back this afternoon. Please come on in. It’s already getting hot out here.”
“Thanks. It looks like you’re doing some work around here. I’m happy to stay in a hotel if it’s too much trouble. I’m just here for a quick trip, anyway.”
They walked into the house, and Andrew dropped his overnight bag on the floor.
“What are you doing here?” Ben demanded again.
Andrew sighed. “I wanted to talk to you, and I didn’t think you’d pick up the phone if you called.”
“So you just dropped in uninvited?”
Mandy took Ben’s arm, more worried than ever that he was acting this way. Maybe it was because he was afraid his secret would come out in Andrew’s presence, but it felt like there was a lot more—pain, damage, betrayal—lurking beneath the surface of his tension.
Andrew didn’t look angry or offended by the tone. “Your mom invited me. She told me you were here for a couple of weeks. Laurel and I are getting married next month.” He looked pleased, almost sheepish, at this news. “And I wanted to convince you to come.”
This was obviously an intentional step, so it must be understood that Ben wouldn’t attend a family wedding under normal circumstances.
“You already know my answer to that,” Ben said. He was still bristly, but he hadn’t pulled away from Mandy’s grip, so that was something.
Andrew appeared unabashed. “You haven’t given me a chance to make my case yet. It’s not going to be a big hoopla like Harrison’s wedding last year.”
Mandy felt Ben tense beside her again.
“Anyway, Lord Uncl—”
“Let’s not talk about it in the hallway,” Ben interrupted gruffly. “If Mom invited you over, then you can obviously stay here. There’s an empty room at the top of the hall.” He gestured toward the stairs. “Help yourself.”
“Okay, great.” Andrew was giving Ben and Mandy an odd look, but his smile was as genuine as ever as he picked up his bag and headed up the stairs. “I’ll let you guys get in the door before I make my case. It’s great to meet you, Mandy. I’m not sure how you put up with old Ben, but I’m glad you do.”
Mandy felt her cheeks warming. This was twice in the last hour that someone thought she and Ben were a couple.
They were not a couple. She wasn’t even sure they were friends anymore.
Ben’s eyes were on her face when she looked away from Andrew disappearing up the stairs.
“You could be a little more friendly to your cousin,” she said, feeling more self-conscious than ever and using tartness to cover it. “You acted like you didn’t want to see him.”
“I don’t want to see him.”
“He seemed perfectly nice. What did he ever do to you?”
“He didn’t do anything. But he knows I don’t want to have anything to do with the rest of them, but he shows up here without warning anyway.”
“He probably just wants to help you get involved in your family again.”
“I don’t want to get involved in my family. Why are you pushing like this?” His cold tension from before had changed back to the hotter, frustrated tension that he’d been simmering with earlier that day.
“Because it’s not good for you to cut yourself off from everyone that way, like you make a point of never l
etting anyone else be important to you. And I don’t think I should have to be quiet about something that’s not good for you, just because it makes you uncomfortable.”
He stepped closer to her, his eyes flashing with heat. “I’m not uncomfortable. I’m exasperated. What has gotten into you? You never used to be like this before.”
“Well, maybe a few things have changed,” she snapped back, her own anger rising up in response to his. “And maybe I’m just saying now what I wanted to say before. And don’t try to get all looming and intimidating. I’m not scared of you, Ben.”
She was shaking with her heated annoyance and, for some reason, it was turning into something else. He was all passion and physicality as he stood about three inches away from her. He was big and strong and angry and right there. Close enough to touch.
“Do you really think I’m trying to scare you? What the hell do you think of me?” His voice was low, throaty.
“I don’t know what to think. You’re the most frustrating, secretive, closed-mouthed man I’ve ever had the misfortune to know, and if you weren’t so huge I’d just shake you to see if I could shake any sense into you.”
She was flushed and panting, glaring at him angrily and clenching her fists. Then suddenly he took one more step toward her and grabbed her face in one hand.
He leaned down into a hard kiss.
She was startled at first and just reached up to fist her fingers in his shirt. But his mouth was skillful and passionate, and she instinctively opened for him as intense sensations and emotions started to surge through her body.
She moaned softly into his mouth as the pleasure rose inside her, and then she wrapped one arm around his neck, pressing herself into the strong substance of him. His beard was scratchy against her skin, her lips, but it was just another layer of sensation.
“Fuck, Mandy,” he muttered against her lips, walking both of them back toward the hallway wall, where he pushed her against it.
She made a little whimper as his tongue dueled with hers, and one of his hands slid down to cup her bottom and then lower to raise one of her thighs and wrap her leg around his hips.
The move adjusted them so that her groin was in close alignment with his. A sharp jolt of pleasure shot through her as she felt the bulge of his arousal pushing against her.
She’d never felt like this before. So completely out of control. She’d always assumed it was some sort of fantasy—that people could jump from anger to passion in just a few seconds. But she couldn’t keep her hands off him, and she couldn’t keep from arching and rubbing against him as their kiss deepened even more.
She wanted him. So much. Every inch of his body and every shadow of his soul. She needed him. Couldn’t keep from holding onto him, pulling him closer.
And it didn’t matter what his last name was. All that mattered was that he was Ben.
***
Ben was totally out of control, aware of nothing but his visceral need to touch Mandy, to hold her, to claim her as his.
A little part of his mind was sounding an alert—that he was too rough, too needy—but Mandy’s soft body was eager and clinging. Just as enthusiastic as he was. And it fueled his hunger even more.
He was deeply aroused, his groin pulsing with need as he rocked his hips into her, when he suddenly felt her let go of his head. Then push him away.
With a rough groan, he made himself take two step back, although the effort it took to make himself release her was genuinely painful.
“What are you doing?” she gasped, rubbing her mouth with the back of her hand. Her hair was slipping messily out of her ponytail, her full lips looked swollen, and her forehead was damp with perspiration. “What are you doing?”
“You were doing it too,” he managed to say, holding his throbbing body very tightly so he wouldn’t just grab her again.
“But we said we were just friends. Friends don’t do that.”
“I know.” She was so tempting and desirable—mussed and flushed and visibly aroused—that he had to turn away to hold himself back.
“We can’t do that again.” She straightened up from where she’d been pressed against the wall and took several steps down the hall, away from him. “If we’re friends, we can’t do that again.”
She was obviously upset, but he couldn’t tell if it was because she wanted to keep kissing him or because she couldn’t believe she’d let herself kiss him in the first place. Ben was in no shape to figure it out at the moment. He felt like his whole body might explode at any moment. “Are we friends?” he heard himself asking.
He wasn’t even sure what it meant or where the question had come from.
She rubbed her mouth again, like she was rubbing him off of her. “I thought so.”
Her voice cracked on the last word, and she ran up the stairs to her room.
Ben wanted to follow her, comfort her, never let her go—but he didn’t do anything like that. He turned his back to the stairs and planted his hand on the wall of the hallway, breathing deeply until he’d talked his body back down from its fierce arousal.
When he felt in control again, he turned around to go up the stairs to check on Mandy and make sure things were okay between them.
He jerked to a stop when he saw Andrew standing on the foot of the stairs.
“You okay?” Andrew asked.
Ben shrugged. Since the question wasn’t asked with Andrew’s normal lazy insouciance, he didn’t blow it off. “I don’t know.”
“So you didn’t tell her who you really are?”
The question surprised him enough that he gave a little jerk. “How do you know that?”
“Just picked up undercurrents. Ben, I get that you need a break from all the Damon shit, but how long do you think you can keep it from her? It’s going to come back and bite you in the ass hard. If you love her—”
“We’re not together,” Ben interrupted, deeply disturbed by the sound of the words. “Mandy and I aren’t together that way.”
Andrew raised his eyebrows. “Okay. Sure you aren’t. Either way, you better tell her. Think how hurt she’ll be when she finds out on her own. And she’s going to find out. I’ve been on the receiving end of a lie. Take it from me. It will hurt much less if you’re honest with her now.”
Ben knew it was true. Of course, he knew it was true. He knew very well he should tell Mandy the truth. He owed her a lot more than that. But that seemed to indicate some sort of commitment—that he was in this relationship, friendship, whatever-it-was for real.
He hadn’t been in a relationship for real—he hadn’t made pleasing someone else a priority—in years.
***
The evening wasn’t as bad as it could have been. Andrew stayed away from any details of Damon-ness that Ben didn’t want discussed, and he was charming and friendly, making Mandy and Ben’s mother laugh uninhibitedly over dinner.
Ben would have preferred for him to be the one to make Mandy laugh that way, but it was nice that she was laughing at all.
He kept brooding over what he should do, how he should fix things, whether he should come out and tell her the truth.
Whether that would change everything between them.
He had no real answers by the time he went to bed, and he lay awake brooding over the questions even more.
It was almost one o’clock when he heard a noise in the hallway. Since he hadn’t been able to go to sleep, the sound stood out to him starkly.
He got up and went to open his bedroom door to look out.
In the hall, at the top of the stairs, stood Andrew and Mandy. Andrew wore a pair of sweatpants and nothing else, and Mandy was in a little lavender nightgown with thin straps that showed far more of her lush body than Andrew had any right to see.
He had a bottle of water in his hand, and she was smiling up at him.
Ben couldn’t hear what they were talking about, but the scene looked strangely intimate, in the darkened hallway, in the middle of the night, with both of them clearly undres
sed. Ben felt an immediate surge of jealous possessiveness, so strong he tightened one hand into a fist.
Mandy should not be talking to Andrew that way. Andrew should not be seeing Mandy that way.
What the fuck were they talking about in the middle of the night anyway?
Without thinking it through, Ben stalked out of his room and over to where they stood. Andrew’s eyes drifted over to him first, looking surprised and then smiling in his characteristic way.
“Looks like we roused the bear from his den,” Andrew murmured.
Mandy jerked her head over toward him as he approached. “He certainly growls like one.”
The words were teasing, but they caused Ben to stiffen his shoulders anyway. “What are you doing?”
“Just talking. Andrew was on his way up from getting a bottle of water, and I was on my way down.”
“It’s a hot, thirsty night,” Andrew put in, an obvious taunt in his voice.
He was doing it on purpose, Ben told himself. Teasing him on purpose to get a reaction. The best response would be to not respond at all. “Fuck you.”
Mandy sighed and put a hand on his arm. “Don’t be ridiculous, Ben. I’m going down to get some water. Don’t pick a fight while I’m gone.”
Ben watched her walked down the stairs, his eyes lingering on her long, shiny hair and the full curve of her hips beneath the cotton of her gown.
Then he tensed again, realizing that Andrew would be seeing her too.
“She really is gorgeous,” Andrew said, as if he’d read his mind.
Ben turned on his cousin. “Aren’t you supposed to be living in domestic bliss in Greece with a hot woman and a pack of huge-ass dogs?”
“Yeah. What’s your point?”
“So keep your smarmy charm to yourself and don’t be horning in on what’s mine.”
Andrew laughed out loud. “I’m not coming onto her. Give me a little credit. Although, if you really want her to be yours, you better start making an effort. She seems to be getting pretty tired of the glowering act.”
Ben experienced a surge of anger, but he knew it was because Andrew was right. So he managed not to react.
“Seriously,” Andrew said, milder now. “Better for things to fall apart a little now, while you can still put them back together, than for you to wait until there’s no hope.”
