by Harlow Brown
"Good night, babes. Hey, Charlie?"
"Hmm?" she said with a sleepy voice.
"Can I put my arm around you?" I asked. I wasn't sure how she would react to that.
"Please. I want to be held like a normal girl, not held captive in my bed."
I put my right arm under her pillow and pulled her as close as I could get with my left. Once I had her flush with my body, I slid my left hand under her right boob.
Wow. I'm lying in bed with an angel, with her perfect bubble-shaped ass against me, and I have a handful of her boob! This night is ending on a real good note.
"Babes, I'll show you all the things that he should have. I'll show you how a woman is supposed to be held. I'll show you how you deserve to be treated." I kissed her shoulder before continuing, "This is what it’s supposed to feel like. Can you feel it?"
"Feel what?"
"The ease of this. How perfect it is."
"Yes, I feel it, along with your semi."
"That's what you do to me. I can't help it. I've got a sexy woman pressed against me. It's bound to happen."
"Not happening. I'm all sexed out tonight."
"I know, and that's fine. I'm tired too. Sweet dreams, Charlie girl." I kissed her shoulder again.
Soon her body began to relax, and I knew sleep had claimed her. Meeting Chief and Fury was liable to be rough; she needed the rest.
I lie there holding my angel, lost in thought until sleep claimed me too.
"DADDY?" I ASKED, confused as to what I was seeing. "Daddy, is that you?"
"It's me, Sugar Bean."
I stood frozen, trying to make sense of it. I squinted and attempted to focus on what I saw before me. The more I blinked, the more I doubted what I was seeing. I was certain I had lost my mind.
"It's okay, Charlie. I'm here."
Joy overcame me, along with other emotions I couldn't recognize.
"Momma? Is Momma here too?" I asked as my voice cracked.
"No, baby, it's only me. Mom sends her love and says she misses you. She wants you to know she watches you every day. She sees you when you think no one else is looking. She said that when it's just you and your tears, she’s there with her arms around you letting you cry on her. Why do you think after a good cry you feel so much better?"
"Y'all are ashamed of me."
"No, we’re proud of you. Although I do wish Hensley never happened, I'm more proud of the way you handled him. I knew teaching you to shoot would come in handy."
"Daddy, what do I do? What have I gotten myself into?"
"Nothing that can't be fixed, Sugar Bean." He walked on air and touched my cheek. Chills consumed my body as his cool touch lingered there. "Baby, there is a purpose for everything and everyone. I've yet to figure out Hensley's, but Whiskey's, I know about him."
"What are you saying, Daddy?"
"Oh, Charlie girl, I asked the big man for a favor. You see, just because I'm not here with you every day doesn’t mean I don't still look after you. That is something that never stops once you become a parent. Nothing can keep me from protecting you."
"I don't understand." I shook my head in disbelief.
"Do you remember that time at the beach when I told you I loved you as big as the ocean and as far as the eye could see?"
"Of course. How could I forget? I actually just brought that up to Whiskey…." I stopped and wondered if there was a divine conspiracy that made me bring that up then. Daddy just smiled his knowing smile at me.
"When I got up here, that didn't change. I asked God for a favor where Hensley was concerned, and his answer to your problem was Whiskey."
"I, uh… I-I don't know what to say."
"You don't have to say anything. Your eyes say it all."
"He noticed, Daddy. He noticed my eyes. No one else notices them, other than Briar and Jazz. He sees me. He gets me."
"Sugar Bean, it was by design. I know Whiskey and his boys are rough, but don't let him go under any circumstances. You hold on to him tight and forever. He’ll need you as much as you need him. He’ll have things he needs your strength to get through, just as you need his. You two are meant to be together, and I approve of whatever you choose to do with him, provided it's keeping him.” He grinned. “He and his brothers will take care of you, and Hensley… well, let's just say he won't be a permanent nuisance."
"How? I mean—"
"Don't ask questions, Charlie. Just know that everyone has a place in life, and yours is beside Whiskey. All the shit you’ve endured these last three years will be worth it."
"Daddy, it's all too new. This is huge. Why don't you visit me? Why can't Momma come too?" I said so quickly I forgot to stop between questions.
"I've got to go. Just know that no matter what, heaven can't keep me from looking after my girl."
"Daddy! Don’t go. I have so many questions!" I sobbed uncontrollably while yelling at the same time.
"Sugar Bean, say you heard me and that you let the words sink in."
"Yes, Daddy, I heard you. I love you and Momma so much. Please come back. Daddy, I still need you," I begged.
"Sugar Bean, if it's in the master plan I will. But if it isn't?" He floated over to me and put his hand on my chest, over my heart. "Know that I will always be right here. Feel free to talk to me anytime."
He turned to walk away, and it was as if he was fading into the background. He stopped suddenly and turned to me and said, "Oh, Charlie? Dig deeper into our case. I think you'll find an interesting conclusion."
"Daddy?" I was sobbing so hard I felt like I would literally cry my eyes out, all while still reaching endlessly for him.
"I love you, Charlie."
With that, I was left abruptly cold and empty.
"Charlie! Babes, wake up!" Whiskey was shaking me. When I opened my eyes, his were intense. "Are you okay? You woke me up screaming, 'Daddy! No, don't go!' Frankly, it scared the shit out of me. There was nothing I could do. Charlie, talk to me. You look like you've seen a ghost."
"Daddy…." I stopped, suddenly nauseated. I flew off the bed and ran to the bathroom to throw up, my nerves shot as I tried to process what I’d just seen.
"Charlie, are you okay?" Whiskey yelled, but I just continued to hurl.
Son of a bitch, will it ever stop? It's been three years since I saw Daddy. Why did his presence freak me out so badly? Was it because I knew good and damned well he was a ghost? Was it the information he told me? What the hell did he mean by saying to look deeper into their case? What was up with his encouragement of Whiskey and me? Why would my dad want me running around with a motorcycle club, especially one involved in illegal activity? I finally went back into the bedroom where Whiskey was impatiently waiting for me, pacing the floor, riddled with worry. He didn't have a good poker face, or perhaps that was just where I was concerned.
He stopped his pacing and welcomed me with open arms. "Charlie, baby, talk to me. How can I help you? What happened?"
I took a deep breath, nauseated again. Jesus, he’s going to think I’ve lost my mind, talking to a dead guy and all.
"I just talked to Daddy," I whispered as I shut my eyes, hoping he still wanted to be there and wasn't going to think I needed a psych ward.
"Okay. What did he say? What has you so shook up?" He squeezed me tightly, wrapping me in his love. He might not have been able to tell me he loved me, and that was okay for the time being. He showed it, and that was more than I was accustomed to. There, wrapped in his arms, I didn't feel crazy or scared. I felt at peace with… everything.
"He said to keep you and that you were sent to me as part of a master plan. He told me to hang on to you because we belong together. Also, he told me to look deeper into their case, that I'd find something interesting." I took a good cleansing breath before continuing. "He also said that he asked God for a favor, a way to get me away from Hensley, and well… here you are. You truly are a godsend and Daddy approves of you in every way, just the way you are." I looked into his honey bourbon eyes an
d said, "He wants me here, with you and your club."
"He approves of me? Does he know about the drugs and the constant battle to stay clean? Does he know about Angie and the baby? There's no way he would approve of me if he did."
"Whiskey, he knew. I know he did because he said you would need me as much as I needed you. I read between the lines."
Silence consumed us. Deep, soul-searching gazes into each other's eyes occupied the next few minutes. Realization set in that there was something bigger than us pulling us together. Knowing we were destined for each other made everything seem more worthwhile. Hensley looked like a part of the plan, albeit a shitty one.
Peace. Calm. Joy. All those feelings flooded my mind and soul. I was so full that the extra emotions ran down my cheeks.
"Babes, shh, it's okay. I'm here," he consoled me.
"The last three years have sucked donkey balls, but now I see the end game. It all makes sense. There truly is a reason for everything. My journey to finding answers has just royally sucked until now. But now, it's so worth it. You are worth it, Whiskey."
He was speechless as he held me tighter. We stayed like that for what seemed like hours, though it was likely mere minutes.
"Let's just go back to sleep, okay?" he replied in a sad tone.
"No, it's not okay. What's wrong?"
"Your dad came to you after three years and gave his blessing for you to be with me. There's no way he knows of the shit I've done. He can't know that some days I would kill for a line."
"You can always come to me. We’ll work through it together. Don't fight that battle alone. Use me."
I unwound myself from him and looked at him again. Shame and guilt blanketed his face. I reached up and caressed his cheek. "You tried to help her. You aren't at fault for losing the baby. And as far as the cravings go, just let me help you."
"How, Charlie? How do you think you’ll be able to help me?" he snapped.
I walked to the end of the bed and sat for a minute to think about what to say. His tone pissed me off, but I knew he didn't mean anything by it so I let it go.
"I'll be here for you to talk to. I can tell you to take me on a ride. You know, just get on your bike and take me wherever. Go till you’re over whatever it is that you go through. I might not be able to say anything to help you, but you sure as shit can't snort a line when you’re on the bike. And I promise you that I will be right there behind you, right where I belong. But Whiskey, I can't help you if you don't let me. I haven't ever been around the stuff, so I'm not real sure what I'm dealing with or what you’re going through. I'm clueless as to what you need or don't need, want or don't want. You'll have to let me know."
Realization of his harshness showed on his face. "I'm so sorry, Charlie. I know you mean well, and maybe you’re right, maybe a long ride will be enough to get me over the hump when a craving hits. Sometimes, though, it's bad. They’re ugly, and I'm not a nice person. Just promise me that you’ll work through them with me. "
"I promise I'll never leave you as long as you need me."
"Why couldn't I have found you earlier?" He pulled me in closer and held me tight.
"Because apparently it wasn't part of the plan. You were supposed to be my knight in shining armor, the one who saved me."
Hell’s bells, it was time for a mood lightener. I needed happy, not quite as heavy, so I grinned and said, "But instead I got a super sexy biker badass dressed in jeans and leather riding boots." Nothing was said, but I did sense his reaction, his smile, so I decided to step it up a notch. "At least you weren't the village idiot dressed in tinfoil. I could have been given someone like Magnum."
He chuckled and kissed the top of my head. "You own me Charlie, heart and soul. There isn't one thing on this Earth I wouldn't do for you."
"I love you, Whiskey. Now I'm tired. Dreaming about dead people will take it out of you." I kissed him softly.
"Let's get back into bed. Tomorrow is likely to be a big day. You’ll need your rest."
We walked back to the bed and crawled in. He wrapped himself around me, and I let him.
"Good night, Whiskey.
MORNING CAME, AND Charlie lay sleeping beside me. I needed to get up and around so I could talk to Mag. Even with crazy bed hair and her mouth open, drooling on my pillow, she was a beautiful sight to see. I looked around for my jeans and slid them on, then made my way to the kitchen to make coffee. To my surprise, Mag was already up.
"So, Briar and his girl coming today?"
"I think so. Maybe late, though."
"When is the rest of Charlie's team getting here?"
"I'm not sure. I told her she didn't need to worry about that yet. She needs a break from everything she knows, some 'me' time."
"I got an idea to see how she handles runs. Think she’d be up for a quick one? I believe it would be good for her. She won't be thinking about her dick-lick ex, and she won't be stressing about her tournament. And it's a real test for her."
"Fuck."
"Look, dude, the cops are watching us pretty hard. We could use her today, and if it pans out, Chief and Fury would be impressed… or pissed that we’re using a woman. We shall see, I suppose."
"Where to?"
"Just Destin. Maybe an hour or so?"
"Yeah, I guess. I'll see if she's up to it. Last night was rough for her, so—"
"Spare me the gory details. I don't care about your sexcapades."
I knew Magnum was only kidding, that he had no clue about Charlie's dream, but damn if I wasn't irritated about his choice of words.
"Look, shit-for-brains, we didn't even have sex last night after you got home, so shut your trap."
I decided that keeping him informed would be in my best interest, and Charlie's. Perhaps keeping him in the loop would help him understand everything, and also the depth of my feelings for her and just exactly what she meant to me. I doubted anyone could ever grasp the depth of my feelings for her, but it was worth a shot.
So I said with an irritated sigh, "Look, Charlie had a tough night because of a dream she had."
His blank look was my cue to explain, as he clearly wasn't putting two and two together. "She dreamed of her dad."
"Go on."
"Her parents were killed in a drunk driving accident."
"Uh-huh… and?"
"She dreamed that her father came and talked to her. In a nutshell, he told her that I'm the one he wants her with and that he knows my brothers and I will take care of her. He wants her here with me, with us. He trusts me with his baby girl."
"Dude, I don't know what to say."
"Just tell me that you understand part of why I'm nervous about using her on runs and why I…." I stopped myself before I confessed my true feelings to him.
"Why what?"
"Nothing."
Magnum got pissed quickly, walking over to get in my face. His eyes were cold, and anger radiated off him, "Just because I don't have a girl don't mean that I don't get where you’re coming from. I know good and damned well what you mean. I know you love her. I ain't blind or stupid, so yeah, I get it. And you know as well as I do that she’ll be taken care of. She's yours, Whiskey. It's a given. But in case you forgot, I promised her some stuff too. I'm not sure how or why, but that girl made it feel like I’ve known her forever. I want her safe as badly as you do. So don't think that I’d knowingly put her in a dangerous situation. I wouldn't."
He stepped down and went back to his coffee, as if nothing ever happened. I looked at him and then back down to my own coffee, lost in thought. My mind was going a hundred miles an hour. I knew we could use her, but knowing her dad trusted me with his baby made it harder for me to be okay with her running our moonshine. On the other hand, the Chosen Legion needed her.
What if she gets pulled over? What will she do, and how will she react under pressure? What if the buyers turn on us? Where does that leave her? What happens if the run goes completely wrong?
"Whiskey, what happens if the run goes completel
y right?" Charlie's voice pulled me my thoughts.
"How'd…? Never mind, Mag told you."
"Yes."
"I don't know what to say."
She walked over to me and brushed my hair behind my ear. "You say you trust in your brothers and me. That’s what you do. And say yes, Whiskey. I got this. Let me help you guys out."
I stared in total disbelief, wondering once again just how I ended up with her. Men like me didn’t get the good girls.
"I know Mag went to get you and told you some of it, but how did you know what I was thinking?"
"You might have mumbled a word here or there." She gave me a soft kiss on the lips.
"You own me, Charlie, every fucking part of me. I didn't think it was possible, but you do. If someone had told me that I would almost instantly fall for you, I would’ve laughed in their face. Tell me it's the same for you."
"I love you, Whiskey. You’ve taken my broken soul and are piecing it back together again. I didn't think I’d give anyone another chance, ever. I didn't get an option with you. Seems as if something bigger than us is working in our favor. After last night, I won't question it."
"Marry me, Charlie," I whispered.
"Umm, yes, but not right now."
My eyes flew to hers. What the actual fuck just happened? Where did that come from?
"Babes, I… I don't know where that came from. I'm sorry. I…. Wait, yes? You said yes?"
She chuckled. "Yes, Whiskey. After Daddy came to me in my dream and talked some sense into me, how can I say anything but yes? However, that proposal left a little to be desired. You’re going to have to make it unforgettable. I won't accept anything less."
She winked, and I knew she was only kidding. Well, I hoped. But she deserved extraordinary, and she would get the best proposal in the history of redo proposals. It would be tailor-made to her likes and interests. Softball was what popped into my mind. She definitely has a passion there. I would have to figure it out, but it would damn sure be incorporated somehow.
"Quit thinking about it and let's get ready for a highly illegal delivery of moonshine to some less-than-law-abiding citizens, yeah?"
