by S. J. Bishop
I’d never liked Alice. Her husband’s death had undone her, and she’d never been able to pull it back together. Not even for her daughters. Mia and Gwen had mostly taken care of themselves.
Once her mother was out of the cab, Gwen reached in and pulled out Nikki. My heart broke at the sight of my tiny niece dressed in black. Nikki had Mia’s pale skin and my brother’s jet-black hair, although Nikki’s hair was curly where Eric’s had been straight. I had always wondered where that kid got such crazy curls. Certainly not from her parents.
Nikki stared up at the church and spotted me. She began to fidget in Gwen’s arms, and when Gwen put her down, she was off like a shot.
Gwen started after her, but then she spotted me and stopped. Nikki threw herself into my arms and clung to my neck. I held her there a moment, rocking the girl back and forth and holding on for all I was worth. I had wanted to take Nikki home with me after the accident, but Alice Mathers had volunteered to stay in her daughter’s apartment for a few nights, and I’d relented. I had a lot to take care of anyway, and it was probably best for Nikki to stay somewhere familiar, even if it was with Alice.
“Gwen, Mrs. Mathers,” I said as Gwen and her mother approached.
Gwen’s eyes were behind the sunglasses, so I couldn’t read her expression. But she gave me a soft, small smile. “Hey, Law.” Fuck if my chest didn’t tighten up at the sound of her voice.
Gwen reached her arms out gently, but Nikki clung tightly to my neck, and I felt a small sense of satisfaction. Gwen lived in Chicago and hadn’t seen much of her niece. Nikki slept over at my house at least once a month.
Without another word, we parted. Mia’s side of the church was sparsely populated with all of Eric’s friends and family that couldn’t fit onto our family’s side. Gwen and her mother looked lonely sitting up at the front. But that wasn’t my problem. I took my seat next to my uncles and my grandmother.
2
Gwen
I stayed calm by inhaling and exhaling. The funeral had been straight forward, but speaking about Mia in the eulogy had been pure torture. My sister and I hadn’t gotten along – I’d never been happy about her relationship with Eric Henry for the same reasons I’d had to break up with Law: the Garcias and the Julianos were members of Miami’s corrupt organized crime syndicates. Dating a Henry was akin to being a Mafia member. It had taken me years to realize what Law’s family was, but when I had, I’d given him an ultimatum. It was me, or it was them. Law had chosen them. So to see Mia willingly choose to connect herself with a Henry… We’d gotten in a huge fight and had only really reconnected once Nikki was born.
But in the end, her death had had nothing to do with the Garcias or the Julianos. In the end, it had been an accident. My baby sister was gone, and I was never going to see her again.
“Can I give you both a lift to Beneventos?”
My stomach dropped into my feet, and I hoped I seemed composed as I turned to face Law. Damn it, but my heart still hurt at the sight of him.
Once again, in my time of need, Law had stepped forward. With his cool, calm competence, he’d taken care of all of the funeral arrangements. He’d put me in touch with Mia’s boss, her bank, and her lawyer. Now, standing before me in his best slim-fitting suit, he looked incredible, and all I wanted to do was melt into his arms.
Law’s mother had been half-Italian and half-Cuban, and his father’s descent was a mystery, although according to everyone who’d known the deadbeat Gio Henry, he’d been dark and had spoken Spanish and French. So maybe he was Haitian or Afro-Cuban. But given Law and Eric’s exotic combination of features, their father could have been any mix of nationalities. Law’s skin was pale brown, and his black hair was trimmed close to his skull. In college, his teammates had called him the Sphinx, and with his incredible cat-like turquoise eyes, chiseled features, and quiet poise, the nickname made sense.
“We’re fine,” I said to him, finding my voice. The last thing I could handle in my fragile emotional state was close proximity to Law Henry.
And yet, part of me wanted him to push the offer. Please, Law, ask me again! Just like part of me had wanted him to chase after me when I’d broken up with him. But this was Law. Law didn’t ask twice, and he didn’t chase. He just nodded and walked off.
“You go,” said my mother, her voice slightly slurry. I had a feeling she may have taken something before we’d left her house. “Imma take Nikki and go home.”
“That’s okay…” I said. If my mother wasn’t sober, it probably wasn’t a good idea to leave her with a two-year-old.
“I’m fine, Gwen, Jesus,” said my mother, sounding irritable. “I took a Xanax, not a tranquilizer. You can trust me not to be irresponsible with my own granddaughter.”
I pressed my lips together, not wanting to remind my mother about the number of times I’d found her unconscious somewhere. I have an artistic temperament, she’d always said. Leave me alone, and go live your own life.
I’d go to the reception, but I wouldn’t stay long.
As my mother got into the cab with Nikki, I realized, belatedly, that I didn’t have a ride.
“I’m sorry about Nikki, Gwen.” The voice was soft and kind, and I spun around to see Arthur Juliano leaning on a cane and giving me a familiar smile. Arthur owned Leonie’s, the pizza place I’d worked at when I was in high school and college.
“Thanks, Arthur,” I said. I had met Law through Arthur while I was waiting tables at Leonie’s. I’d been sixteen; Law had been eighteen and about to start college at the University of Michigan. We’d been friendly for two years before he’d asked me out. In my life, nothing had ever been more magical than that first summer when Law and I had started dating, and nothing had been more devastating than finding out that Law’s family was Mafia.
I’d worked at Leonie’s for four years before I’d realized that Arthur was a member of the Juliano crime family. I’d come to work early and interrupted a meeting. The day I found out was the day I’d tendered my resignation. I hadn’t spoken to Arthur since.
“Can I give you a ride to Benevento’s?” he asked.
I hadn’t accepted Law’s offer, and part of me didn’t want to accept Arthur’s either.
And yet, Arthur had always been kind to me and was trying to do me a favor now. If there was one day when I could forget who these people were, it would be today. Today wasn’t about them. It was about Mia. So I accepted.
On the car ride over, Arthur made small talk. He spoke about Mia and Eric, and he asked me what I had been getting up to in Chicago. I kept my answers vague and sighed in relief when we arrived at Benevento’s.
Benevento’s was owned by Arthur’s cousin and Law’s great uncle, Joseph Juliano. The Juliano family owned a few restaurants in Miami, but Benevento’s was one of their nicer ones. The tables had been cleared out of the main dining room to accommodate guests, and there was a bar, a buffet table with an antipasto spread, and servers walking around with appetizers.
I smiled slightly, imagining what Mia might have said about her own funeral reception: It’s nicer than anything we grew up with. Mia’s predilection for nice things was, I think, part of the reason she had never committed to marrying Eric. Eric had been a middle school history teacher. He hadn’t made any money.
But she’s not here. She’s gone. I could feel myself start to tear up again and tried to stop. I was about to take custody of Mia’s daughter. For Nikki, I needed to be strong.
“I thought you might want something to eat,” the deep voice that sounded over my shoulder sent tremors right through me, weakening my resolve not to cry. As tears welled, I closed my eyes and inhaled through my nose. But that made it worse. Law smelled the same: crisp and clean, like fresh linen and something spicy. His cologne, or his deodorant, or his laundry detergent…whatever it was, it wreaked havoc on my senses.
I turned. At 6’3”, Law was a good seven inches taller than I was, but with my heels on, I could easily look him in the eye – and that was a mista
ke. Law had the most incredible eyes of anyone I’d ever seen.
I looked away quickly, dabbing at my eyes. He’d made a plate for me, filling it with meat, cheese, and slices of bread.
“Thanks.” But I waved the plate away. “I can’t eat anything.” The thought of food turned my stomach. When I was miserable, I couldn’t eat at all. I’d lost a full fifteen pounds when I had broken up with Law six years ago.
“Want me to get you some ginger ale?” he asked.
“You don’t have to,” I said. “I’ll go over in a little bit.”
“Here,” Law gently pressed the plate at me until I had to either grab it or let it fall down my front, and then he headed to the bar.
I couldn’t believe how packed Benevento’s was. Eric and Mia’s friends were here, there were several Miami Dolphins players, and the Garcias and Julianos were mixed throughout the crowd.
“This will help if your stomach is off,” said Law, coming back. He took the plate and pressed a glass of ginger ale in my hands. I drank it.
“How have you been, Gwen? You look well,” Law’s voice was impersonal, but in the crowded room, he stood close.
“I’ve been okay,” I lied. I was a social worker for the city of Chicago, and I worked with traumatized children – so I got to see a lot of life’s “ugly.” I’d recently broken up with a guy I’d been seeing for eight months, and then my sister’s accident… I’d been better. “How about you?” He looked the exact same as he had the day we’d broken up. And my year had been tough enough that his nearness and his concern were completely undoing me.
“Besides all this?” He looked around the room and shrugged. “I’ve been better.” He said it softly, and I felt his eyes raking me head to toe. Warmth pooled in the bottom of my stomach, and I shifted uncomfortably. I had a high sex drive, and apparently, six years hadn’t done a thing to diminish Law’s impact on me.
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
“I suppose death is a part of life,” said Law, picking a peace of prosciutto from the plate he’d made for me and eating me. “But to die so young… He had his whole life ahead of him.”
I nodded. I’d always liked Eric and had never really liked the way that Mia treated him.
“But life’s a part of death too, isn’t it?” he said suddenly. “Nikki…that kid is so incredible.”
I nodded. This was actually the first time I’d gotten to spend any real time with Nikki. “She’s so confused,” I said, my heart breaking for Mia’s daughter. “She keeps asking for her Mama.”
“What do you tell her?”
“That Mama’s with the angels.”
“What else can you say?” Law agreed after a moment, and whether it was finally having someone to talk to or whether it was Law’s steady, calming presence, I relaxed a bit. My stomach unknotted itself, and I reached over and grabbed a piece of provolone.
But then Law smiled at me; it was warm, familiar, and encouraging. And my stomach knotted up all over again. I made myself swallow the cheese.
“Are you staying with your mother while you’re in town?” Law asked. He sounded as if he was merely making polite conversation, but his eyes were intent on mine.
“Yes…” I said, and found myself leaning forward without meaning to.
But as Law opened his mouth to ask another question, the energy in the room shifted perceptibly. Loud conversation turned into low murmurs, and people began to look toward the door. So I looked too, and my heart nearly stopped.
Valentino Solano had just walked in.
3
Law
Fuck. I’d sworn that I was going to stay away from Gwen Mathers, but talking to her again, even meaningless small talk, made me feel as if I’d rediscovered something I’d stopped looking for a while ago. And it may have been inappropriate, but when she’d started picking from the plate I’d brought her, I felt this strange-ass primal male satisfaction come over me. Like I’d done a good job providing or something.
I was so tuned to her that I didn’t even notice the change in the room until Gwen gasped. Then I looked. People were staring at a young man who’d walked through the entrance. He was wearing black slacks, a black shirt, and a golden horn around his neck. He had a set of shoulders that a lineman would envy and looked like a hired thug. I didn’t recognize him.
“Who is that?” I asked Gwen. She obviously knew him. Other people did too; enough of the Julianos and Garcias had turned to stare that even my teammates were shifting nervously.
“Val Solano,” said Gwen.
I didn’t know the first name, but I knew the last. “What is a Solano doing here?” I asked. The Solanos and the Julianos had an incredibly tentative truce. But what issues there were between the families, I didn’t know; I was not involved in the business.
“He knew Mia,” said Gwen, who was looking away now, frowning. “They were…friends.” I was good at reading people (part of what made me such a damn good running back), and I could read what Gwen wasn’t saying. Whatever had gone on between Mia and Val Solano hadn’t met with her superior approval.
Looking back at Val, I could see he looked incredibly uncomfortable. He walked through the room without making eye contact with anyone and headed over to the bar.
I looked over at Uncle Joe, who was talking to Arthur and another one of the cousins. The old men glanced at Solano but made no moves to intercept him.
I turned back to Gwen and, against my better judgement, decided to press my luck.
“I know there are better times to ask you this…”
“Gwen Mathers!” my grandmother interrupted me. She had come up on Uncle Carlos’ arm and was staring at Gwen with her “mother Mary” eyes. “If there is a silver lining in this whole affair, it’s that I get to see you again.”
My grandmother had loved Gwen and had been almost as heartbroken as I was when Gwen had broken up with me and moved to Chicago.
Gwen flushed and fumbled to respond. I was forced to save my proposition until after my grandmother had finished giving Gwen the third degree.
“Oh, how terrible,” my grandmother said upon hearing about Gwen’s job. “But it confirms something I always knew about you.” She reached over, giving Gwen’s arm a squeeze. “That you are a saint, Gwen Mathers, and my grandson did not deserve you.”
She frowned in my direction and then reached over and squeezed my arm, too.
“Do me a favor, Lawrence, and try not to drive our Gwen away too soon.”
I smiled at my grandmother and knew it didn’t reach my eyes because she shrugged at me and allowed Uncle Carlos to lead her off.
I inhaled, thinking about how best to get Gwen to agree to go back to my place with me. I opened my mouth to try again, but Val Solano was approaching.
“Hey, Gwen,” he said. He wasn’t very tall, but he was incredibly broad through the chest and thick with muscle.
“Hello,” said Gwen, smiling politely at the man who’d known her sister.
“I’m real cut up about Mia, Gwen. I’m so sorry for your family, really.” I blinked. I hadn’t realized that Val was drunk, but as he leaned close to shake Gwen’s hand, I could smell it on him. I almost moved to put myself between them, but it wasn’t my place. Gwen could handle herself.
Gwen looked a bit put off by the fumes of alcohol now rolling off of Solano. “Thank you,” she said. Then, “I hope you get something to eat while you’re here.”
I hoped he hadn’t driven himself here.
“Thanks, Gwen. Hey, Henry, man, great game last week.” Solano held out an unsteady hand, and I took it after a moment. We don’t know each other, but I suppose if you’re an Italian in “the business” in Miami, then you know about my connection with the Julianos. “Shit ton of fish in here, aren’t there?” he said, indicating the Dolphins players that were mingling.
I inclined my head at him.
“Tell you what,” said Solano, clapping me on the shoulder as if we were pals. I had to stop myself from moving out from under
his heavy hand. “I gotta thank you, man. I made a ton of money off you last week. I owe you. Can I get you a drink?”
“No thanks,” I said politely. “Just take care of yourself.” I breathed easier when he strode off.
“Now, where were we…” I said, turning back to Gwen. I stopped. Gwen’s expression looked pinched, and as she smiled up at me, it was brittle.
“We were saying goodbye,” she said. “I’ve got to get back to my mother’s house.”
“Wait,” I said, blinking. That was abrupt – just two seconds ago, she’d been picking off my plate and all but leaning against me. “Just like that, seriously?”
Gwen nodded. “Yes. I have to go home. It was good to see you, Law. I’ll see you tomorrow at the will reading.”
“Wait. Hang on,” I said, setting the plate down on a passing waiter’s tray. “I was hoping you might have dinner at my place tonight. I’d really like to catch up more…”
“Thanks for the invitation, but I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Did I just do something wrong?” Warm one minute and cold the next. What the hell?
“This.” Gwen waved her hand around Beneventos and then gestured to where Solano was ordering another drink. “That…” She shook her head. “You haven’t changed since we last met, Law. And that’s fine! But the reasons I broke up with you haven’t changed either.”
Of course they hadn’t. She didn’t like “the company I kept.” As if I could choose whether or not to love the family that had been there for me when my father had left, when my mother had died. And now, when my brother had passed away, here they all were again. I wasn’t a part of the family business, and she knew it, but in her mind, the Julianos were bad people, and I shouldn’t consort with them.
“Is this about Solano?” I asked. “I’m not gambling with him. He probably bet on my game. That’s not a crime, Gwen.” I was getting angry and had to keep my voice down.
