‘I love you Lil, I would never hurt you or your sister,’ he slurred. ‘She is hot though. Should be illegal for a nineteen year old to look like that,’ he carried on, arcing his hands over his chest and winking at Jed.
Lillie glared at Jed who shrugged an apology and asked if she wanted a drink. Lillie looked at them both and decided she may as well join them and Jed grinned broadly, slinging his arm around her in drunken camaraderie.
Looking around the bar, Lillie suggested they moved to some more comfortable seating and they took their drinks over to a trio of armchairs in the dimmest corner of the bar. Lillie told Johnny she did not want to talk about her sister at all and, to his credit, he didn’t mention her all night. Instead, he told her about the early days of the band, the stories getting more and more unbelievable as the glasses stacked up on the table. Lillie hadn’t laughed so much in ages and, after a particularly ridiculous story about a troop of bearded ladies in Alaska, Johnny’s head hit the table as he all but passed out.
Jed gave him a fireman’s lift to his room and dumped him on his bed and they staggered to their cabin next door where Lillie flopped onto the teeny bed, fully clothed. She vaguely noticed her shoes and jeans being pulled off before Jed curled himself around her body and she fell asleep thinking about arriving in wonderful Paris tomorrow.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Jed felt like shit and looking at Lil he knew she felt even worse than he did. He passed her a pair of sunglasses and hoped that Johnny would at least have the sense to pretend to be seriously hungover.
He settled into a seat on the bus, putting an arm around Lillie as she leaned against his shoulder. It wasn’t the bus they had been promised by Steve, the fuck-off big tour bus, but that was supposedly waiting for them in Paris.
He sighed as Johnny bounded towards the bus then grinned as he watched Lillie raise her glasses a little to give Johnny a death stare.
‘Good morning lovebirds,’ Johnny sang, sitting in the seat across from them.
‘Fuck off, Johnny,’ Lillie snarled, lowering her glasses and returning her head to Jed’s shoulder.
Johnny raised an eyebrow at Jed and opened his mouth to say something. Something that would incense Lillie, Jed thought. He shook his head at Johnny and closed his eyes. He needed more sleep.
He was just relaxing into a doze when his phone vibrated in his pocket. Johnny was talking to Chris, leaning across the aisle and glancing at Lil’s slumbering form whenever the laughter was too loud. Jed smirked as he tried to dig his phone out without disturbing Lil.
He read the text quickly, his heart hammering in reponse to the content of the message and turned the phone off completely. He couldn’t deal with that right now. Later. But only because he absolutely had to.
Lillie shifted against him and he looked down quickly, heart rate rocketing back up to crazy level. Her eyes were closed, she must have just been getting more comfortable, he thought feeling relieved and guilty. Christ, how long could he keep this up?
* * *
Finally in Paris and ensconced in their hotel room, he joined Lillie in the shower, momentarily perturbed at her initial lack of enthusiasm for his touch. When she finally responded, he put her hesitation down to her being tired and hungover, pushing away the fleeting thought that she might have been awake when he’d received that damned text.
He’d already decided that when she and Kate went shopping, he was going too. He wanted to get Lil something special – a memento from Paris, the city of romance and her favourite city in the world. He thought about taking Johnny with him and quickly wrote that idea off. He’d just try and stop him.
After four hours going from jewelers to jewelers plus a couple of other shops, he thought he’d found the perfect thing plus a couple of extra bits he planned to give Lillie in New York.
He celebrated with ‘une café, s’il vous plait,’ forgetting to ask for milk and receiving an espresso. He added plenty of sugar and sat on a busy Parisian street, eating a fruit tart his mom would have been in awe of.
Watching the Parisians striding past, babbling away on their phones, looking elegant and sophisticated in a way that Americans, even New Yorkers, never could, and he could see why Lillie loved it here so much. The buildings, the smell of coffee and freshly baked bread scenting the air, the lyrical quality of the language. Everything sounded like a poem, even the insults. He wished they had more time, he would have loved to have taken Lillie up the Eiffel Tower. Maybe they would be able to fit in a trip to Notre Dame at least.
From time to time, he stroked the velvet box in his pocket. Lillie would love it, he was sure. He was just imagining the scene, when a phone call from a screaming Steve pulled him back to the present and reality. He headed back to the venue in a cab. He’d spent so much money, another few euros would hardly count.
Lillie was already there sitting next to Kate, both of them surrounded by bags, eating Chinese out of a carton, which painfully reminded him of home. He ignored Johnny’s questioning look and asked Lillie what she’d bought. She jumped up and started pulling clothes and shoes out of her bags whilst he and Johnny looked on. Jed was having a hard time keeping his mind on the present, his imagination running wild at the thought of Lillie in the various outfits she was showing him. He glanced over at Johnny, who was looking a bit too interested he thought, pressing his lips into a tight line.
‘Don’t you like this one?’ Lillie said, ‘I thought it would be your favourite,’ she pouted and Jed smiled, putting away all thoughts of any possible feelings Johnny might be harbouring. Lil wasn’t his type anyway. Too tall, too brunette, way too smart. Not that Johnny had ever tried to get with one of his girlfriends. Ever. Christ, this tour was messing with his head.
‘I’m just trying to stop myself from dragging you out of here, that’s all, Lil,’ he said. ‘Show me the blue one again.’
Lillie reached for a tiny slip of peacock blue silk, holding it up against her.
‘That one’s my favourite,’ Jed declared, reaching for her but she skipped out of his grasp and held out a bag to him.
‘I bought you something,’ she said, with a blush.
He pulled out a grey, fine wool jumper and immediately pulled it over his head.
‘It’s great,’ he said, turning to Johnny who nodded in agreement. ‘I’ll wear it tonight. Johnny, Kate, could you give us a minute?’
Johnny got up with a knowing smirk, winking at Lil, whose cheeks, already a rose pink, deepened to a brighter shade. Kate followed him out, saying she was going to find Chris.
‘I got you something too,’ he said, ‘close your eyes.’
Lillie did as he asked and he pulled out the box, holding it up in front of her face.
‘Okay, open them,’ he said, his body taut with anticipation.
She looked at the box and raised a hand to take it before lowering it again, her pink cheeks turning colourless and Jed hastened to reassure her that it wasn’t a big rock. She took the box, slowly opening the lid and peeking inside.
‘Jed! It’s beautiful,’ she exclaimed, taking out the delicate gold chain and holding the small, solid heart hanging from it between her fingers. A tiny diamond studded the centre of the heart and glinted in the harsh lights of the dressing room. She passed the necklace to him, turning around and lifting her hair up to so he could fasten it around her neck.
He kissed the nape of her neck and she shivered in response, turning back to face him, her arms around his neck.
‘You said it wasn’t a diamond,’ she said.
‘No, I said it wasn’t a big rock. There’s a difference.’
‘Technicality,’ she muttered, kissing him hard. ‘I love it,’ she said. ‘It’s just perfect.’
‘Good,’ he replied. ‘I hope you’ll always think of me and Paris when you wear it.’
‘I’m never going to take it off,’ Lilllie said, kissing him
again.
***
Jed couldn’t stop the slightly manic grin he knew he had on his face. From the way Lillie kept touching the pendant, he knew she genuinely loved the chubby heart with its small diamond. He watched Kate squeal over it, tensing as Johnny went over to see what was going on. Lillie held out the heart and Johnny looked at it and muttered something before stalking away. Jed saw Lillie frown and turned away before she could catch his eye. What the fuck was Johnny playing at? He was gonna ruin everything.
The show was tense. Johnny avoided Jed and Lillie and Jed sensed the crowd’s dislike of the space between him and Johnny. He knew he should indulge in their normal antics but he felt way too pissed with Johnny to go near him and Johnny clearly felt the same way.
Jed turned his attention to Lillie who seemed more relaxed than she had ever been onstage. Her voice was clear and strong, especially during what he thought of as their song and the crowd roared their approval when he leant over to kiss her at the end. They came offstage to rapturous applause and screams, returning without Lillie for the encore.
Jed felt a wave of nauseous panic when he saw Steve at the side of the stage, talking to Lil, bent over to look at the necklace he had given her. Or, more likely, taking the opportunity to get a good look at her chest. He rushed through the thank you and good night and practically ran off the stage, just reaching Lillie and Steve in time to hear Steve saying he had something to tell Lil. Jed threw a threatening look at him before picking Lil up and swinging her around.
‘Great gig, huh, Steve,’ he said, putting Lil down, his eyes meeting Steve’s. He hoped Steve could read the warning on his face.
‘Yeah, yeah,’ Steve hastened to reassure him. ‘What’s up with Johnny?’
‘Fucked if I know,’ Jed said, ‘maybe he’s jealous.’ He laughed viciously and turned to Lillie, catching a look of confused concern on her face.
‘Guess I’d better keep an eye on him, huh?’ he added. They all instinctively turned to look for Johnny, who was watching them carefully. Jed felt Lillie stiffen beside him.
Well, if she thought Johnny had the hots for her, then he was okay with that for now. It would explain a few things that he didn’t want to tell her quite yet.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Steve broke the news that Kate’s designs had been okayed by the label on the second day in Paris and, with the money they were paying her, she calculated that she would be able to stay on the tour until America. Lillie was overwhelmed with excitement and thrilled that Kate and Chris would have more time together.
Jed had taken her to the Pont de L’Archevêché, a padlock with their names written on it in his pocket and, together, they had locked it onto the bridge amongst thousands of other locks, struggling to find space. Afterwards, they had visited Jim Morrison’s grave and Lillie had felt a surreal sense of haunting calmness. Tears pricked at her eyes as she surveyed the memorabilia and notes left by fans. Fresh flowers lay on top of the grave stone, Calla lilies of such a dark red they were almost black.
They met the rest of the band and Kate at Notre Dame and celebrated Kate’s extended tour with champagne and l’escargot by the river Seine. By the time the gig came round, Lillie was pretty blitzed with bubble-fuelled excitement and Jed and Johnny had settled whatever had been going on between them last night.
The second gig in Paris went fantastically well. Steve had wanted Lillie onstage for the whole gig, so they’d changed the set list around so that she sang one in every two or three songs and joined in the choruses for most of them. Lillie felt a bit awkward standing around when she wasn’t singing, but figured that nobody would be looking at her when they had Jed and Johnny to watch.
Jed had spent much of the afternoon trying to convince Lillie to sing an entire song on her own but she was dead against it. She felt okay singing a verse or two but the idea of singing an entire song solo freaked her out.
The band had an online interview coming up for a German music website and Steve wanted Lillie to lead it. She wasn’t keen on that either, not wanting it to appear like she was out to take over the band. Jed laughed at her fears that the rest of the band would start to get pissed off with her being pushed to the front all the time, but Lillie was really worried about it.
‘You and Johnny are fine with it and Chris is okay because he’s got Kate, but I don’t think Eddie is that pleased,’ Lillie said to Jed, who gave an exasperated sigh. Lillie carried on, ‘I don’t think Eddie was ever very happy about it, to be honest. And now that I’m onstage all the time, it’s like I’m a real member of the band.’
‘You are a real member of the band,’ Jed started before she interrupted him.
‘Yes, but did you ever think that maybe Eddie’s lonely?’ Lillie said.
Jed looked embarrassed.
‘Exactly. I feel like I’ve been forced on him. He has every right to resent me,’ she paused. ‘I probably would if I were him.’
Jed frowned and tried to interject but Lillie carried on.
‘I’m not leading the interview in Germany. I’ll sing a whole song instead.’ And that had been the end of that. Lillie sang one entire song on her own from Paris on and Jed led the interview as usual.
The rest of Europe passed in a blur – gigs, practice, learning new songs, writing a couple of her own. Sometimes, she even managed to drag Jed or Johnny out for some sightseeing, but it was hard to get them off the tour bus, they were so enamoured with it. It was pretty cool, Lillie supposed, and she could see why the guys wanted to take advantage of the luxuries of an onboard x-box and the kitchenette after the minibus. Crashing in their curtained off bunks, taking 3 showers a day just because they could, constantly microwaving popcorn and making endless cups of coffee. It was a novelty and they had worked hard for it.
Steve was hinting hard that the American bus was going to be newer, bigger and better, but Lillie couldn’t see how it would top this one, even if it was a bit shabby. She and Jed had a queen sized bed sectioned off at the back of the bus with their own TV, which had been watched once for about ten minutes when they first got the bus.
By the time they’d passed through Eastern Europe, she was just as jaded as they were, although she did sometimes feel like a caged lion on the bus and was glad to take advantage of the privacy of hotel rooms when they had them.
After several more interviews, Lillie learnt to simply answer the question rather than filling silence with chatter and she got more confident onstage, much to the delight of Steve and Jed. They were both eager to see her perform more, something she wasn’t initially comfortable with, much preferring to just stand and sing.
In Scandinavia, she twirled around the stage a little, getting into the heavy guitars with her own more delicate brand of headbanging and jumping around. Finally, she didn’t have to rely on focusing on a light. And it had only taken her three months.
She still wanted Jed just as much as she had on that first night, despite them being with each other twenty-four-seven for weeks on end. Lillie was almost waiting for something to happen, their first really big fight, one of them finding out something they really didn’t like about the other. But it never came. They were nauseatingly happy with each other, as Johnny constantly pointed out.
The very last gig in Sweden was both exhilarating and desperately sad. Lillie was excited to be going to America the next day but that meant leaving Kate behind. In the back of her head, she knew it would be harder for Kate as she was leaving behind Chris as well as Lillie. At least Lillie would still be with Jed. The relationship between Kate and Chris had become very strong and Lillie knew he was desperate to keep things going despite the logistics of him touring and Kate being in England.
The home leg of the tour was going to be six months long now. The label were so pleased with the ticket sales, they had convinced Steve to add a lot more tour dates to America and Canada, which he had more than happily done after comprom
ising on a five week hiatus over Christmas and New Year.
After the Sweden gig, the band decided to say goodbye to Kate in the hotel bar. It stayed open late and was popular but not over crowded. Lillie didn’t know how to feel; she was so excited to be going to America but devastated at the thought of leaving Kate behind.
All night, she veered between tears and the thrill of finally seeing New York City. Thank God for Johnny, she thought. He was twice as energetic as normal, making up for the despondency that hovered over the rest of them. He was making everyone laugh with his ridiculous stories, ensuring sure they were all entertained and not left out of the conversation long enough for tears to spill onto their cheeks.
It was getting late and everyone had to be at the airport early in the morning, when Johnny made an announcement.
‘Kate, this is your last evening with us all for a while, so we wanted to give you something to remember us by,’’ he said, indicating himself, Jed and Eddie, who passed him a Dead Hour messenger bag, which he presented to Kate with a theatrical bow.
‘So, this is your design, our new logo,’ he said, ‘and inside is a teeny tiny T-shirt, a hoodie, signed CDs and a bunch of other stuff.’
Everyone watched as Kate pulled it all out and started crying, which immediately set Lillie off.
‘Okay, so it wasn’t meant to upset you,’ he continued as Kate laugh-sobbed at him. ‘I know that this won’t be the last time we see you. We’ll need your artistic talents for the new album’s cover work soon,’ he finished, leaning over the table and giving Kate a big hug and kiss.
‘This is great, thank you so much,’ she said, wiping away her tears and looking at all the Dead Hour merchandise spread out before her. ‘I don’t really know what to say. I’ve had such a great time with you all. I’m going to miss you so much,’ she managed to blub out before the crying swallowed up her words. She turned into Chris’s shoulder as he put his arms around her.
How to Catch a (Rock) Star: A Story of Sex, Love and Rock 'n' Roll Page 14
