Ben lifted the dress. “Where do you want this?”
She took it from him, opened the closet and hung it inside. “I might have to touch it up with an iron.”
He carried her duffel bag to the bed and set it on the mattress. His gaze lingered on the bed and hers did, too.
They looked up at the same time and their eyes locked.
As if she’d stepped into a time machine, Sierra was tossed back seven weeks. The room was Ben’s room at the inn, the bed was Ben’s bed. They’d sat on the edge of it, talking, and then the talking had turned into kissing.
They’d undressed each other hungrily. They’d come together so passionately, thought had fled. Good sense had gotten buried and only desire had mattered. Although they’d been eager, Ben hadn’t rushed with her. He’d made sure she was as hot and needy as he was. And when he’d entered her, he’d blotted out the rest of the world.
But then she’d awakened, knowing he’d have regrets and so would she. So she’d left.
Not removing his gaze from hers, Ben approached her slowly.
Her mouth suddenly seemed very dry.
“When you left in the middle of the night, you knew we’d see each other again today.”
“Yes, I did.”
“How were you going to play that? How were you going to act?”
“If you hadn’t contacted me, I would have pretended that night never happened. How about you?”
“I don’t think I could have pretended it never happened. I would have asked you why you didn’t stay.”
“It was a mistake.”
“You decided that for me, too?” There was a hard edge to his voice, as if he didn’t like that idea at all.
“If it hadn’t been a mistake, you would have called.”
“Women,” Ben said, shaking his head. “You left, but I was supposed to call?”
“It really doesn’t matter anymore, does it?”
“I think maybe it does. I want to know the real reason why you left. The truth, Sierra. Not just something you think I might want to hear.”
Could she tell him the truth? His turbulent gray eyes told her that she’d better or he’d never believe another thing she said. She swallowed hard. “You scared me.”
That completely shocked him. “Did I hurt you in some way?”
“No,” she quickly replied. “No, you didn’t hurt me. I guess I said that wrong. You didn’t scare me. Your intensity scared me because I responded to it. I…that was the first time for me in a long time. I didn’t think I was ready. I didn’t think I could—I’m not putting this very well. It was just very unnerving for me. I didn’t know how to deal with it so I left.”
His gray gaze was penetrating, as if he wanted to turn her inside out…see to the very bottom of her soul. Finally he admitted, “I don’t trust easily, Sierra. I’m still not sure why you came to me about the pregnancy. I’m still not sure what you want.”
She was afraid to admit what she wanted. She was afraid to admit that making love with Ben Barclay had wiped away everything that had gone before, had made her lose herself, had encouraged her to dream again.
Although she wanted to turn away, lessen the strong vibrations that shook her when she was around him, she looked right into his eyes. “I meant it when I said I don’t want anything from you. I told you because you had a right to know. What you want to do about it is your choice. If you want to walk away after today, that’s fine. I’ll raise this baby on my own.”
“That’s not going to happen,” he assured her. “Once I know this baby’s mine, I intend to be a full-fledged father.”
“You still don’t believe me?”
When he didn’t reply, she knew the answer. He’d just told her he didn’t trust easily and that was absolutely the truth.
Reaching out, he grazed her cheek with the back of his hand. “We’ll figure this out, Sierra. It will just take some time.”
Figure out how involved they were going to be in each other’s lives? Figure out if he wanted to be involved in the pregnancy? Figure out if one night could have been filled with more than desire? The reasons why she’d left that night still held. She didn’t know if she was ready for another intimate relationship, especially with a man like Ben, a man dedicated to a career that was all-important to him. She had to remember that before she took another step toward him, before she let him take a step toward her.
She backed away. “I’d better get ready.”
He nodded. “My tuxedo’s still in the car.” He crossed to the door. “I’ll see you at the wedding.”
When Ben closed the door behind him, Sierra sank onto the bed. All she had to do was think about Camille and Miguel and the next few hours would be easy.
If she said that often enough, she might believe it.
Ben shrugged into his tuxedo jacket, then checked his pocket for the wedding ring. He heard the floorboards creak in the room next door. Was Sierra styling her hair? Applying makeup? Slipping into her gown? All too easily he could recall exactly what she’d looked like naked and become aroused by the picture.
Damn! How could she possibly be as innocent as she looked? Was he really supposed to believe she wanted nothing from him?
He thought of his mother leaving his father all those years ago, and his father’s bitterness and unhappiness after she left. His brothers’ sadness. His own feeling that he’d done something wrong to make her leave. Weren’t mothers supposed to love their children no matter what?
He heard the water running in Sierra’s bathroom, then it was quickly shut off. He could picture her applying lipstick to her full lips or brushing her luxurious hair.
Intentionally, he thought about Lois, the woman he’d thought he’d marry some day. She’d been beautiful in a much more sophisticated way than Sierra. She’d been a professional woman, serious about her career in public relations. He’d thought she’d understand working early, working late, working weekends. Before she’d left, before she’d told him she’d already found someone else, she’d said something he hadn’t been able to forget. “I still feel alone, even when I’m in the same room with you, Ben.”
He wasn’t sure exactly what that had meant.
Instead of focusing on a past that couldn’t be changed or Sierra, who unsettled him more than he wanted to admit, he turned his attention to another situation that had preoccupied his thoughts.
Last night after a basketball workout with the teenagers he’d befriended, he’d approached his car in the public parking lot. The hairs on the back of his neck had twitched. He always paid attention to that feeling. Although years before he’d earned a black belt in karate, his skills had gotten rusty with disuse. Last night he’d reached into his jeans pocket for his pocketknife, flipped it open and kept his hand by his side. Then he’d heard, “Hey, Mr. District Attorney.”
A man had suddenly appeared from behind a truck. Although he’d been of average height with lank brown hair and a too-large black shirt hanging over worn jeans, a memory had flickered in Ben’s brain.
“I have fifty dollars in cash and one credit card,” Ben had said reasonably, his thumb securing a firm place on the knife handle.
“I don’t want your money,” the man had declared. “I want you to lay off my brother. He’s innocent.”
“Who’s your brother?” Ben had asked to gain time.
“Charlie Levsin. If you don’t back off, something could happen to you.”
Ben had considered the death threat he’d received in August. It had come in with his mail in a plain white envelope, one sheet of paper printed on a computer. You are going to die. Although he’d received death threats before, this time his boss had suggested he leave town for a few days and he had, to help his brother Sam lay floors in his new house. There had been nothing since then.
Levsin’s trial was scheduled for December. Ben had known better than to alienate Levsin’s brother. “Threatening my life could get you in trouble.”
“There ain’t nobody here t
o hear me. Your word against mine. Just make sure my brother gets off.”
Ben had evidence up the kazoo against Levsin and there was no way he was going to back down. “The jury will decide whether he’s innocent or guilty.”
“Yeah, well, they’d better decide he’s innocent. I mean it, Mr. D.A. You throw that trial or you’ll be sorry.”
As quickly as the man had appeared, he’d disappeared.
If Ben had chased him, caught him and hauled him in, they could have held him for a while. But it would have just been his word against Ben’s.
Ben’s thoughts were interrupted when his phone rang. Plucking it from the dresser, he opened it. When he checked the caller ID, he was relieved to see his brother Nathan’s number.
“You almost caught me at the altar,” Ben joked, pushing away the sound of Levsin’s voice that had played in his head since last night.
It took Nathan a moment to absorb what Ben had said, then he replied, “Sorry. I forgot you were a best man again this weekend.”
“It’s okay. I have a few minutes. I was just checking to make sure I had Miguel’s ring for Camille in my pocket.”
“I remember when you handed me the ring for Sara.”
“No regrets?” Ben asked, really curious.
“Not a one. I’m a lucky man. Who would have thought I’d find another woman who could put up with me?”
Ben laughed. “I think Sara does more than put up with you.”
“You’ve come to accept her.”
“Yeah, almost like a sister. She’s a straight talker and you know I appreciate that.”
“What about Corrie? Sam mentioned he thought the two of you got along really well when you flew home to help us lay floors in his new house.”
His brother Sam was a newlywed, too. “I like Corrie. She’s not quite as open and free as Sara, but anyone who loves animals like Sam does has a good heart. She’s pretty honest about what she thinks, too.”
“Women these days are like that.”
Ben thought about Sierra…their news. He didn’t keep secrets from his brothers. Well, that wasn’t completely true. He hadn’t told them about the death threat. He wouldn’t, either. Yet that was different. “My life got a little more complicated recently.”
“Work?” Nathan asked.
“Not this time. I…uh…” He suddenly felt tongue-tied. “I found out I’m going to be a father.”
The silence told Ben that Nathan was thinking how best to respond. Finally his brother asked, “Are congratulations in order?”
“You mean, am I happy about it? I’m still trying to get used to the idea. But the more I think about it, yeah, I think I’m happy about it. You know how I love spending time with Kyle.” His nephew was one of his favorite people.
“So you’re involved with someone?”
“Not exactly.”
“You’d better explain that.”
Ben blew out a sigh. He had to admit his stupidity to his brother. “I messed up. First time ever. Remember the engagement party I told you about?”
“The one in Santa Fe, where Miguel asked you to be best man.”
“Yeah. Well, Camille’s maid of honor and I started talking. One thing led to another, and she’s pregnant.”
“You’ve been dating her since the party? You didn’t say a word.”
“No, I haven’t been dating her. After that night, she left. I just figured it was a night she didn’t want to repeat. But she turned up at my office to give me the news.”
“So she’s there with you this weekend?”
“We decided to come together. I mean, we drove together. We’re here separately. Nothing’s going to happen.”
Nathan was quiet, then replied wryly, “Something already did. You advised both me and Sam to be careful about custody issues. Is it going to be a problem for you?”
“I don’t know yet. I don’t know Sierra that well. That’s partially why I suggested we come together this weekend.”
“Does she want the baby?”
“She seems to and said she wouldn’t consider an abortion.”
“You know a good custody lawyer?”
“Sure do. I hope it’s not going to come to that. Sierra hasn’t had roots. Her parents are anthropologists and move around a lot. On one hand, she could just take off and join them anytime. On the other hand, her aunt’s here and so is her shop. Sara would love the handmade jewelry.”
“Maybe Sara will get a chance to see it. That’s actually why I called. How would you like some company for Thanksgiving?”
“What brought this on?”
“Well, you know Sara and I have applied to adopt. Something could come through at any time. Once we have another child, traveling could be more difficult. Kyle wants to see those petroglyphs you tell him about whenever you visit. So we thought this might be a good time to take a trip. How do you feel about that?”
“I’m swamped at work and I didn’t know if I could fly out for Thanksgiving. So, yeah, it would be great. Dad won’t mind?”
“Nah. He and Val will spend it with Sam and Corrie and her dad. By Thanksgiving, there will hopefully be a baby to hold.”
Corrie’s due date was November 11. But with a first baby, Ben knew anything could happen. “If you fly out for Thanksgiving, you can give me your opinion of Sierra.”
“Does my opinion matter?”
“Sure it does. I checked out Sara before you got involved.”
“Yes, I guess you did.”
“I haven’t figured out Sierra yet. She says she doesn’t want anything from me. She says she can raise this child alone. But that’s not going to happen.”
“Just be careful, Ben, especially if you want to be a dad.”
“I’ll be careful. Remember, I know the ins and outs of the law.”
A few minutes later after Ben said goodbye to his brother, he pocketed his phone. Then he went downstairs to find Miguel, eager to see Sierra walk down the aisle. Weddings seemed to bring out both the best and the worst in people since they were highly emotionally charged events. He’d be watching Sierra carefully throughout the day, to see if she was the sincere woman she seemed to be. Actions always spoke louder than words.
Then he would decide exactly what he was going to do about the custody issue.
Chapter Three
Ben felt poleaxed as Sierra walked down the aisle toward him. He stood beside Miguel to the left side of the arch waiting for the main event—the bride marching down the aisle with her father. But first, her maid of honor prepared the way.
Sierra’s gown had been encased in a garment bag so he’d had no idea what it would look like. He’d never quite expected this. The turquoise fabric was filmy and floaty. The expression on her face got to him. She was thoroughly happy for her friends. He caught the sheen of tears in her eyes as she gripped her bouquet tighter.
They hadn’t rehearsed since only two of them were in the wedding party, but Miguel had told Ben what to do. He walked to the center of the aisle to meet Sierra and let her hook her arm into his as he escorted her to the right side of the arch. She held on to him as if the moment might be too emotion-filled for her to handle alone. But then she released him, stepped away, independent and so very beautiful. He could only stare at her for a moment before he once more took his place beside Miguel.
Tearing his attention from Sierra, he heard the swell of music created by the guitars and violins located to the side of the guests, then focused on the bride as she walked up the aisle.
He tapped Miguel’s shoulder. “You’re a lucky man.”
But as Miguel murmured, “I know,” and stepped to meet his bride in the middle of the aisle, Ben’s gaze fell again on Sierra. Their eyes locked and held, but then she looked away to watch Camille’s father hand his daughter to her future husband.
The minister motioned them forward and the ceremony began.
The ceremony, however, didn’t make an impact as Camille handed her bouquet to Sierra, as the couple bowed t
heir heads in prayer, as they exchanged vows and then rings. Ben’s mind whirred with future pictures of Sierra as a mother with a newborn in her arms, rocking the baby to sleep, feeding the son or daughter that was a part of him.
But was this baby part of him? Was this child his? He didn’t know Sierra. He didn’t know her morals. He didn’t know if she slept around. Only a DNA test would tell him the truth. Women lied, he knew that. Hadn’t his father told him from his teenage years on that women were selfish, that they did what was best for them, not what was best for their family? His mother had proven that to all of them. Lois, instead of telling him what she wanted and needed, had turned to another man.
He didn’t want to accept the fact that he was an expectant father, only later to be disappointed. Better to stay removed than to care. Better to learn the truth now than later. In his job, he had to constantly separate the truth from lies. He was practiced at discerning the truth and he’d do exactly that with Sierra.
“We’re supposed to mingle,” Ben murmured close to Sierra’s ear as he stood behind her to pull out her chair.
The reception was being held in the same room at the Inn where Camille had introduced Sierra to Ben. Throughout dinner she’d sat beside Camille at the head table while Ben was positioned on the other side next to Miguel. Even so, she was aware of him in a way she’d never been aware of another man—not even Travis. She wasn’t sure how she felt about that.
As Sierra stood and rounded the table, Ben’s hand rested protectively at the small of her back. The heat of it easily penetrated the chiffon.
They were headed for the table where the bride and groom’s parents sat when a little girl of about five, who was dressed in a pretty pink taffeta dress, chased a boy who must have been her younger brother. The boy dashed around Sierra, but the little girl ran right into her.
“Whoa!” Sierra caught her, steadying them both. She felt Ben’s strong hands steady her.
The girl looked up at Sierra with fearful wide blue eyes, as if she was preparing herself to be scolded.
Sierra just smiled. “Do you think you could slow down a little? If you slip in those pretty shoes, you might fall and get hurt.”
The Daddy Verdict Page 3
