by Kay Blake
Don’t Blame Me
Don’t Blame Me
Copyright © 2018 Kay Blake
Editor: A.E. Snow
Cover Design by Lee Ching of Under Cover Designs
www.undercoverdesigns.net
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
All rights reserved. This book may not be reproduced or distributed in any format without the permission of the author, except in the case of brief quotations used for review. If you have not purchased this book from Amazon or received a copy from the author, you are reading a pirated book.
Acknowledgments
First, I want to thank A.E. Snow my fabulous editor and an amazing woman, author and friend. Thank you for always working with me and helping me get my stuff terrible to readable. You are simply the best with working with me and my schedule and all the things life throws at me.
Next, I wanted to thank Marina for supporting my first full length project. You have been telling me to do this since 2014 and I thank you for your continued support.
Cindy, thank you or giving me Taylor Swift’s album Reputation. I heard the song Don’t Blame Me, and the lyrics spoke to me as I wrote Adrian
Day, thank you for all the questions you answered about college football because man oh man I had no idea. And allowing me to bounce the ideas off of you with football positions and stats. (Smile).
B.P, thanks for the insight on magazines. I couldn’t have done this without you.
M.L thanks for going over the Hawaiian phrases for me.
Brittany (my soul sis) and Rye thanks for listening to me complain, doubt myself and all the other things we discussed via Instagram. Thanks for your feedback and your support.
You guys made this so much more enjoyable. I love you two.
Mom, thank you for your continued support no matter how many times I doubt myself.
To my Cubs, my babies, thank you for choosing me to be your mom. I love you all.
Last, but not least. Thank you readers for continuing my journey with me and your continued support. I couldn’t do this without you.
Author’s Note:
While there is football in this book, it isn’t the sole basis of the book. The main focus is the romance. The college, the college football team, the school’s location and other stuff associated with the football aspects are fiction.
If any of the football aspects seems to resemble something else or someone else it is purely coincidental.
I do hope you enjoy.
Xoxo
Kay
Chapter One
Adrian
(2016)
It was going to be a long day. I was opening a new hotel. A new hotel in New York City. I sighed in relief as I drank the dark coffee in my thermal cup. I was running on little sleep and one there was a lot of work to do. Today was going to be one of those days.
My cell rang, interrupting my morning thoughts, and I answered it.
“Good morning. This is Adrian speaking.”
“Good morning Mr. Robinson. This is Dana Hopkins from Dana Magazine. We’ve decided to do something a little different this time. Something, a bit more fun for the magazine. Our sister magazine Inner Circle did the Top 15 most eligible bachelors in the world. You were one of the top 15. We decided to piggyback off of it, and do a spread on you since you’re opening the new hotel in NYC.”
“Oh wow. Really? That’s an honor. Thank you.”
“No, thank you for answering so quickly. One of our writers here will be doing a profile piece about you. I will send the email to you once we end this call.”
“Okay. Great. Thanks for this. I’ve never been an eligible bachelor before,” I said with a laugh.
She laughed. “Well, we have never done this before. But, since we are based in New York, we thought we would do a whole work-up profile piece for you. The hotel opening will be like the bonus.”
“Sounds great. I will look at my schedule and have my assistant get the details to you.”
“Perfect Mr. Robinson. Talk to you soon.”
“Great. Have a good one,” I replied before ending the call.
I heard the ping go off on my phone, and opened the new message from Dana Magazine. My eyes skimmed through the email until I saw a familiar name on the screen.
Once I realized who it was, I almost knocked over my coffee. This kind of reaction hadn’t happened to me in years. Something that only happened with her. Only her. And after all this time, even just seeing her name, she still did something to me.
The email stated that Leah Hunter will be writing a profile/interview article that showcased me not only opening my hotel in New York, but also mentioning that I was one of the world’s most eligible bachelors. I would be seeing Leah again after all this time. Leah was the girl I lost all those years ago. She had so many plans when we went to school together, and here she was doing all the things she said she would and more. It was one of the things that I loved about her. I wondered if she was still the same person she was back then.
What were the odds that a woman that I used to be in a relationship with, was writing a whole article about me being one of the most eligible bachelors? It had to be fate. I was destined to see her again.
Part of me wondered if she still felt angry about how things ended between the two of us. Sure, I knew I was the one who royally fucked up. But a guy could still hope, right?
After typing a quick response to the email to confirm that the message was received. I put my phone in my pocket and made my way to my office. I used to be the guy that everyone wanted to be. I had all the girls. Lots of talent and good looks. As cocky as it sounded, I had it all. But years after all of that, I realized those things really didn’t interest me anymore. Here I was now, one of the most eligible bachelors, and yet I didn’t really do the things that bachelors technically did.
My dad owned a bunch of hotels. He started his first when I was a freshman in high school. After college, I decided to join the family business, and I was good at it. Really good at it. Not too long after that, I opened two hotels. And now I was opening up one in Leah’s hometown of New York City.
I had come across tons of women, and, my secretary Lydia told me that many of the women guests checked in because I was good looking. I had hoped it was because I made sure to give a wonderful experience at my hotels. However, she didn’t believe it and felt the commercials I did, and the ads that I was in all contributed to why women came to my hotels in droves. Many repeat guests and good reviews. I made sure exceptional service was given to every single guest.
I admit I didn’t always want this for my life. I had big dreams of getting into the NFL and showing the world how dominant I could be on the field. I was a damn good at it too. Playing the outside linebacker position had opened doors for me. Those doors closed after I got my injury. Life certainly had a way of changing things for you and forcing you to work with what was left. While I wasn’t too bad with my grades, football was my life. But my dad only ever saw this vision that he had for me. And my mother wanted to brag about her son, the football star. Both pulled me in two different directions. Neither really listened to what I wanted.
“Morning, boss!” she said, her voice chipper, as I walked towards her desk.
“Morning, Lydia. I got a call about being voted as one of the most eligible bachelors in the US. Crazy, right?”
“No. It isn’t. I think that sounds pretty cool.”
I laughed. “I need you to look at my schedule and email Dana magazine. I need to confirm dates for the interview they want for the magazine.�
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“Of course. Anything else?”
But I didn’t respond. My mind was still stuck on Leah writing the article.
“You okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. It’s nothing.”
And maybe that would’ve been true if it was something else on my mind. Anyone else. But it wasn’t that. And she wasn’t just anyone. She was Leah. My beautiful hell raiser Leah.
Lydia raised her brow but said nothing more about it. And for once I was glad. I was glad that she didn’t pry. No one knew about Leah. No one in my present life did. The only people who knew about her were my parents. And of course Tommy. My parents for some unknown reason didn’t particularly like Leah. My mom had made that very clear. I suspected as I got older it was because I was her only child. Her only son. Now, Leah was like a ghost of my past. A ghost I thought I had let go, but it seemed that maybe I was wrong. Leah was very much still in my system. Very much so.
I pulled open the desk drawer and pulled out a picture frame. I stood it up on the desk. It was one of those wooden plain black frames, with the one picture that I still had left from my days of college. Well, the one picture that I had that included Leah. It was a night after my team had won one of the most important games of the seasons. We had decided to go out and celebrate with some of the other people on the team, and this picture was snapped. Neither one of us was looking at the camera. She looked at me. I looked at her. Smiles on our faces. Lost in each other. We were genuinely happy and the picture had captured it. Of course, this was before things went to shit with us. And even to this day, I regretted how it played out in the end. I knew my indifference and attitude was the reason we were apart in the first place. I couldn’t blame her though. I was a major egotistical asshole back then.
You know what Adrian? I regret this. I regret being with you. You’re not worth this. I knew this all along and I told myself I was making too much of it. I wished I would’ve listened. But it doesn’t matter now. You’re not worth this kind of pain. And eventually, it won’t bother me anymore. You will have to live with the fact that you messed up something good. I hope this bothers you every single day for the rest of your fucking life.
I remembered the angry tears that ran down her face, her shoulders heaving. But I didn’t comfort her. The damage was already done and my ego let her walk away.
Sighing, I took the frame and placed it back and closed the drawer. I opened my laptop and typed in her name. A picture of her from an event last year popped up. I clicked on it.
God damn, she was still beautiful. Still my Leah.
All of her accolades and publications had come up. While she mostly focused on women’s issues, and issues that women of color face, she would occasionally do what was considered a soft piece on various subjects. Even though I would see her soon, a small part of me couldn’t wait to hear her voice again. Or look into her big russet colored eyes. I wanted to touch her brown skin. A bigger part of me hoped that I could kiss those full lips of hers one more time.
I grunted and clicked off the links, it was no point in going down memory lane. That part of my life was over. Mostly because I fucked up back then, but it didn’t mean that I didn’t miss her. If she was still the woman she was when we were in college, then I know she would have no parts of it. And I couldn’t blame her.
After looking over the numbers on the spreadsheet, I looked at the time. I had a meeting to go to soon. The grand opening for the new hotel was coming up, and knowing my father, he would be up my ass about making sure everything went well without a hitch. He was like that for most things, but when it came to the hotels, he was a whole different beast.
After a few emails and conference calls, I watched as the doors to my office opened and my father walked in. As usual, he walked in without knocking. He strolled in like he owned the place. Yeah, we were in a business together, but this was my office. He always wore expensive suits and had this aura about him that let everyone else know he was a man of importance and money. One of the things that attracted my mother to him at first.
“Nice to see you Dad,” I said sarcastically, already sensing that there was going to be a long-winded conversation about what he thought would be best.
“Did you set up the flights to California? You have to be there in two days,” he said ignoring my statement.
“Yes. You know Lydia does the flights and whatnot. That is what she is paid for.”
Of course, I saw Lydia as a good friend, but no need to let my dad know that or he would want to fire her right away.
“And the conference calls?”
“All handled.”
“You know I heard from your assistant that you were picked for one of the most eligible bachelors. She couldn’t stop gushing about it. I don’t know why she’s under the impression that we were friends. I didn’t know you were into that kind of thing.”
“Lydia is a great assistant. I’m not. At least not intentionally. You were the one who wanted me to be in magazines and television ads. Someone did their homework on me. And I am one of many. It isn’t a big deal,” I said my tone even. My dad always knew how to push my buttons. It was one of the reasons our relationship was the way it was.
“By now you should know what’s more important.”
I knew what he meant without him having to say anything else. House of Robinson, are top of the line hotels with no room for anything, but perfection. To my dad, nothing else came before business or his hotels. They were his babies. I was glad that the one in NYC would be the one that I would have the most control over. It was a shame that I was using this to get away from my parents, but sometimes they were much too overbearing. Much too pushy and much too worried about what I did in my life. It was frustrating. Even as a grown man they were always interjecting themselves into what I did with my life. It was fucking annoying. I loved them, but their constant over the top behavior took a toll on me
“I know Dad. Are there any other words of wisdom that you want to share with me?” I asked sarcastically.
I could see his brow furrow quickly, before the cool and collected expression he usually wore replaced it.
“Call your mother. She has been harassing me because she thinks you’re avoiding her.” He gave a wave of his hand as if the conversation as dismissed. I watched him walk back out of the room sucking all of the good energy I had in it.
I appreciated him as my father, and all that he taught me to be able to run a hotel successfully, but sometimes he was just too much. Cynical and a perfectionist. While he was fine with me playing football in college, he didn’t want a son in the NFL. I was supposed to follow his lead and be in the hotel business. Sometimes it seemed he was glad that I got injured. He never cared too much about my feelings about football.
Even though Dana Magazine already confirmed the details about the interview, and when I would need to come in, I was impatient. A part of me wasn’t sure I could wait that long to talk to Leah. I debated if I should call her or send her an email. After realizing I wasn’t quite ready to talk to her over the phone, I opened up my email tab and clicked on a new message. I typed in the address I got from Lydia. I wrote the message several times not wanting to sound too desperate. After erasing for the 6th time, I decided to keep it short and friendly.
Good Morning, Leah
I hope all is well. You’re probably already aware we are scheduled to do an interview this upcoming month, but I thought I’d send you an email. We haven’t seen each other in years, and I thought it would be nice to catch up over drinks before then. I’m sure you’re busy, but please call me at your earliest convenience. Any time.
Best,
A
I added my phone number at the end of it and after a few moments of hesitation, I clicked the sent button. Immediately I regretted it, but I had to talk to her eventually. One, I would be in NYC for an extended period of time. Two, she would be interviewing me. And three, I missed the hell out of her. Missed her far more than I was willing to admit before. So
, why not get rid of the awkwardness beforehand.
“Alright, now to get ready for California,” I said to no one in particular as I closed my laptop.
Chapter Two
Leah
(2016)
I rolled my eyes hard as I read the email that I was sent. What kind of shit was this? I was still seething at the fact that Dana thought this was a good thing for me. So what if we went to school together? Big freaking deal. I was the absolute worst person to do this for the magazine. Adrian Kai Mahina Robinson was an asshole. The worse kind at that. The heartbreaking kind.
Okay, so maybe I didn’t always feel that way. At one point I even loved him. Loved him more than I ever loved anyone. I think there was a small part of me that maybe even still loved him. But time had a habit of changing things, and now he was attached to bad memories from my past. He was the past that I kept locked away and most of the time ignored when I thought about my time at Ocean View. Ocean View University was a good school and I had a good time the two years that I attended. And then everything went to hell. I transferred after my second year and moved back to NY to finish school. Adrian was a piece of fucking work. And now, of course, my boss thought it would be nice for me to interview him because I know him. I knew him. Past tense. Didn’t know shit about him now. Nor did I want to.
Dana had no idea that we were much more than old school chums. In college, Adrian was everything to me. My be all and end all. There was a point where we were so into each other nothing else mattered. I would even go as far to say there was a slight obsession on my part. Not obsession like crazy. An obsession like one an addict has with a drug, and I could have him all the time, any time. I didn’t think rationally around him. He consumed me or rather I let him. He burned my soul and filled too much of it. Way too much. But, that was then, and this is now. I wouldn’t be going down that road again.
