by Kay Blake
“Yes?” I said not even looking up. I guess we were still somewhat in tune with each other.
“Look at me.”
And as always when he made a command, I found myself listening, even when I wanted to fix my mouth to say something smart, I didn’t.
His hands, touched my face carefully, his eyes searching for something, but of what I didn’t know. His left hand touched my chin, tilting it up for me to get a better look at his face. He leaned in slowly and our faces were so close to each other. I could only hear the heavy thumping of my heart. My heart that was unsure, but the same heart that wanted to feel his lips again. I closed my eyes, and his lips brushed mine and I sighed as he kissed me softly. And just as I was about to relax, his cell phone vibrated in his pocket. He pulled away from me annoyed, and another expression I couldn’t place on his face.
“Saved by the phone call,” I muttered, but he didn’t hear me.
“I’m sorry,” he mouthed as he stepped away. I nodded.
It was probably for the best that nothing went any further. I was sure that if anything did go further I wouldn’t have told him no. And considering I still had a job to do, there was no need in messing that up for a simple romp in the hay. Granted, it would’ve been a damn good romp in the hay. But it didn’t matter. Not anymore and while he took the phone call, and stepped away, I realized that I did have feelings for him more than I was willing to admit, and that was something I wasn’t mentally prepared for. The biggest issue was telling him the one thing he didn’t know. Tell him that there were little things that reminded me of how things ended before. How in the end when I really needed him to, he didn’t choose me. And I wasn’t even sure if after all this time with the changes he seemed to have made, would my heart be willing to be put on the line again.
He came back in, and I forced a smile. I was out of my league again. It wasn’t that I didn’t think I was good enough. It was that I wasn’t sure if I could do this again. Do anything that could lead me back to the spiral we were in before. He would push, hard at times, and I would pull denying that I had an attraction for him. Denying that there were things I felt with him, I never felt again. My biggest issue was losing myself again in him. I couldn’t do that. Not again.
“Are you okay?” he asked concerned.
“Yep. I’m fine,” I lied.
“You know I always know when you aren’t being honest with me.”
“Yeah. But I’m fine. No worries.” I said. I smiled brighter this time hoping he would take the hint. He did.
“Sorry about that. There is always business to attend to. It seems that it never ends sometimes.”
“I understand. You’re a hotel mogul. It sounds like you’ll always be needed,” I said, my voice sounding much sadder than I wanted it to.
What the hell was wrong with me? It didn’t matter what he did with his life. Once, this was all done, he will go back to running his empire, and I will go back to doing what I do best. Writing and research. Get the truth as much as I could out there. I didn’t have time for the past to catch up to me.
“Should I get you home?” he asked, his tone different, but unreadable. He probably knew that I was lying, but I didn’t owe him anything anymore. We were not together.
“Yeah, sure. That would be fine.”
Adrian held out his hand and I took it as he led me back to his car. It was a Mercedes and for some reason, it fit him. It fit the new him.
“I thought I should drive you home unless you want the limo to take you back.”
“You can drive me home.”
The ride home was silent, as I found myself feeling extremely tired. By the time Adrian had reached my home, I was sleeping.
“Wake up sleeping beauty,” he whispered near my ear leaning over me. I opened my eyes to see his eyes sparkling with amusement.
“Tired?”
“I guess more than I thought I’d be. Thanks for dinner and for driving me back.”
“Anytime. That is what friends are for.”
“Yeah… friends?”
“I think we’re more than that.”
Once again, I didn’t have a response, because I suspected after it all, we were a little more.
“I’ll call you in the morning, so we can work out the details of the photo shoot.”
“Great. Good night Leah.”
“Night Mr. Bachelor,” I said with a smirk.
He laughed and I watched him get back into his car. A part of me wanted to call him back, to maybe come back upstairs with me, but the other side, the more rational side decided against it. Memories are nothing but dying leaves floating in the wind. Once they fall, they are meant to stay on the ground and blown away. They aren’t meant to be put back into the branches they fall off of. And so I took myself to my apartment alone with my thoughts of my life and him.
Chapter Sixteen
Adrian
I sat at the small restaurant near Battery Park with my mother for lunch. She had come up to New York for the opening, and have insisted that I have lunch with her. It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining, and I was happy.
“You have been avoiding me,” she said, interrupting my thoughts.
“I haven’t. Things have been a little intense these days you know what the hotel opening up and what not. You know that’s always how it is,” I replied.
She took a sip of her tea, her brow creased, in deep thought.
“Your dad tells me that you’ve been in contact with Leah.”
I exhaled. “She’s doing a piece for her magazine. You know, for the eligible bachelor’s thing. It’s also great promo for the hotel.”
“Uh huh. And that’s all?”
I couldn’t help, but smile. “No. You already know I have feelings for her. I always had. I’m sure I always will.
“Do you even know what she has been doing all of these years?”
Confused, I put my fork down. “What do you mean?”
“Did she tell you anything about what happened after you got hurt?”
“Yes. She finished school in New York and now she works for a magazine. Why are you so curious about her all of a sudden? I was under the impression, that you didn’t like her.”
“No reason,” she replied. I couldn’t help but feel she was asking for a reason, but I couldn’t figure out what.
“How are classes going?” I asked.
“You know summer classes are always a breeze. Fewer people in the classroom. Less stress when it comes to grading and giving assignments.”
I nodded. She used to always say that when she taught at the high school before. Now she was the history professor at Ocean View.
“Do you plan on rehashing anything with Leah?”
“Mom, why are you asking so many questions about her?”
She put her fork down and touched my arm.
“You’re my baby boy. And even though my marriage to your father was short lived and unhappy, I got you out of it. You’re the best thing of my life, and my greatest gift. I worry that you’ll be hurt or taken advantage of. I know you’re grown now, but it doesn’t change a mother’s worry,” she said.
Weighing in her words, I couldn’t think of any kind of rebuttal for what she said. I was happy my mother still cared this much about me, even though my dad always held me at arm’s length.
“Do you plan on capitalizing on this whole bachelor thing?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. It wasn’t like this was planned. It was a nice surprise. I’m not sure New Yorkers care too much about this kind of thing on an ongoing basis. They want the things they pay for to be worth it, and that is my hope. If this bachelor thing helps that though, I won’t be against it,” I said.
“That’s what I want to hear. My son making the right decisions.”
“I can do that on my own mom. You and dad worry way too much. I can handle what I need to.”
“You seem to think with your other head when it comes to that woman.”
I sighed. “
Leah, you mean. She has a name.”
She waved her hand flippantly.
“Anyway, she’s a distraction. Even now, you rather spend time with her then handle your business.”
“My business handling skills are fine. And no matter what you or dad says, I’m going to continue to spend time with her. I know how much you like to control things, but in this instance, I don’t need you to,” I said firmly.
My mother said nothing, as she continued to chew. I knew she had more to say, but I didn’t want to fight with her. There had to be a way I could get my mother to see that Leah wasn’t a bad person. If I got my wish, I would have Leah be more of a permanent fixture in my life. My parents didn’t understand that she made me better. She always has.
Chapter Seventeen
Leah
As the camera shutters clicked, I watched as Adrian looked in his element. As the magazine’s photographer took photos of him for the spread, I found myself thinking about him in all the ways I shouldn’t have. Wanting his hands all over me. Wanting him to make me feel better, even if it was only for a moment. It has been a long time since I had sex and the last time I saw him, I wasn’t sure how long I would’ve been able to hold out if he kept on looking as good as he did.
His hair was tied back in a ponytail. His goatee was trimmed nicely and his brown eyes sparkled with mischief. As I watched the other women that were in the room, I knew that they thought the same thing I did. He was as fine as sin. Hands down one of the sexiest men I’d ever seen. I thought he was handsome in college, but there was something different about him. Almost dangerous, and I didn’t know if I had the strength to make sure I didn’t find out what that was. He had my heart in a tizzy as I watched him pose changing up between serious and a smile. He was the perfect bachelor on paper. Handsome, changed career paths and succeeded, had his own money and did I mention handsome? No, I didn’t care about all those kinds of things. It wasn’t my style to worry about those kinds of things, but I was surprised to learn that he didn’t keep doing sports related things. Most former athletes would become a coach or sports analyst. But Adrian did a complete 360. I knew how much football meant to him back then. It was one of the things that tore us apart. He used to always say how nothing would make him happier than pass rushing on the field, and defending for his team. It was so complicated, but sometimes it was easy.
The photographer made a couple of comments to him as I texted Dana to let her know how the shoot was going. Usually, I wouldn’t sit in on any of this. I wrote my article and went on about my next assignment. However, for some reason, Dana wanted me here and Adrian had also made it clear that he wanted me here too. I already knew what he wanted, but my issue was that I didn’t know what I wanted. I was afraid. Plain and simple. I didn’t want myself disappear for any guy ever again.
Looking back up, I saw that Adrian had taken his shirt off. Donned in just slacks, I could see just how good his ass looked in them. His dark wavy hair now laying past his shoulders onto his back, and my mouth involuntarily opened, my mouth all of a sudden much too dry. Fuck, I needed some water.
He gripped the football tightly in his hands, and that’s when I noticed the tattoo that he had mentioned before. It was huge and magnificent. And all I could think about was running my hands across his back.
I could hear one of the women in the room whistle and I rolled my eyes. Didn’t she have a job to do? And the more I looked at him, and the admiring stares from the other women around the room, I got more and more annoyed. Why the hell was his shirt off anyway? Did the magazine really need him like this? He was showing way too much, and I glared at him from across the room, as he did all the photographer asked him too. Another woman cheered and I turned my glare to her. Why were they acting like they’ve never seen an attractive man before? Even as I said it, I knew why. They knew what I knew. He was the kind of man you look at and wished that he had you in his hands rather than the pigskin he held.
I turned my attention back to him, realizing that I was jealous. Jealous at all of the attention he was getting.
We made eye contact. He gave me a wink before turning back to the camera giving that winning smile, and I shook my head. I decided to get that drink after all. I wasn’t going to pay the shoot any more attention, even if doing so killed me.
Once the shoot finished, Adrian made his way to me, his shirt still open.
“Do you plan on closing your shirt?” I asked him, pointing to his bare chest.
“Yes, I wanted to make sure you didn’t run off,” he replied buttoning his shirt.
“What do you think, boss?” he asked me, a playful smile on his face.
“It was good. Though, I’m not sure why they had you take off your shirt. I don’t recall that being part of what was planned.”
He chuckled, his eyes lighting up. “No, but the photographer thought it would be good to have some of those shots. I was told they would use a picture of me from when I played in college too. Something like a comparison shot.
“I guess,” I said, trying my hardest to sound unbothered, but failing miserably.
“Why? Did it bother you?” His face was questioning, but amused at the same time.
“Of course it didn’t bother me. I was just surprised. That’s all. You seemed to be getting a lot of attention from the women in the room. It almost reminded me of how the girls acted around you when we were in college,” I replied.
“You definitely sound jealous.”
“You’re wrong, I’m not.”
He got closer to me. So close that my ass was pressed against the table, and my chest pressed against him.
“If that is true, you wouldn’t be looking at me with daggers right now. Actually, if it didn’t bother you, being this close to you shouldn’t bother you either,” he said.
“Wrong again.” I tried to keep my expression mutual.
“Or maybe you’re mad because I didn’t come over here sooner. Give you all of my attention.”
“Yeah okay. Keep telling yourself that.”
“I think I’m right.”
I laughed louder than necessary. “No, you’re not.”
“So, if I put my hands around you, and you’ll be completely unfazed?”
“Yep,” I replied, not sounding as confident as before.
His fingers lightly touched my face, and when they touched my lips, on cue my eyes closed, expecting his lips to brush against mine. That, I would feel his hands on my face, his tongue prying my mouth open.
But there was nothing. Confused, I opened my eyes again to him looking at me smugly. Trying to save face, I pressed my hand against him to move his body away from mine.
“Is anything wrong?” he asked.
Narrowing my eyes, I shook my head. “You’re an asshole.”
“Am I?”
Ignoring him, I rolled my eyes. “I had a momentary lapse of judgment.” He shrugged then.
“If I remember correctly, you weren’t too happy with that kind of attention back then either.” He was bringing the conversation back my jealousy.
“I didn’t care. I knew being a good football player came with attention. I didn’t, however, want to be goaded or having girls try me once they figured out we were a thing. It was annoying and aggravating and you ate the attention right on up. Almost like you thrived on it. It was just… ugh!”
“Of course I liked the attention. I was always one to want to be in the spotlight back then. Can’t fault me for that. I’m not like that too much now. Now, I am doing it because it comes with the job and it comes with the name. I’d rather be behind the scenes now. It is much more to my liking.” His voice was sad momentarily, and then he shrugged.
“I have to sign some papers and make a few calls. But the opening is next week. I want you there with me at the opening. Would you be my date?”
“Your date?”
“Yes. You know when two people decide to go out on a night on the town together.”
“Stop being a smart ass. I know
what it means, I just don’t know if it’s a good idea.”
“Why not?” he asked with an amused look on his face.
“Frankly, I don’t think it would be appropriate and I really don’t want to be on any gossip rag. Because if any of those reporters are like how I am, they will find out that we dated in college and I rather not have that splattered all over the pages of New York’s magazines and papers.”
“Oh, so now you care about what other people think?”
“Yes and no. I don’t normally care. I just want that part of my life in the past. Not thrown back in my face. It isn’t anyone’s business.”
“Oh, I see. You’re ashamed of me,” Adrian said with mock hurt his hand playfully on his chest.
I rolled my eyes. “Oh, stop. No. I’m not ashamed of you. Why are you being so weird? Fine, I will go. What time do I have to be ready this time?”
“The hotel opening ceremony is next Friday night. It’s in the early evening. There will be a party afterward. All the people involved and those who invested etc. My parents will be there, but don’t worry, it won’t be an issue for you. I rather know that I have someone in my corner who won’t bore me to death with details that aren’t really appropriate for a party.”
“Okay, Adrian. I will be there. I assume it is a black tie kind of event.”
“Yes. You are correct, my lady.”
“Fine. Fine. Well, let me get back to the office. I have to do my final read through and finish another assignment.”
Adrian moved closer and I could see the eyes of all the women in the room, and I wanted to melt into the carpet. Don’t get me wrong, I normally didn’t care about attention, but for some reason, I didn’t want anyone to know about anything concerning Adrian and me. More so I rather we had conversations in private where they would be less time for people speculating about things they had no clue about.
“How about afterward I’m done with what I had to do today, I pick you up and take you to my place out here?”
“For?”
“I want to hang with you a little. Enjoy your company. Is that too much to ask?”
