by Anne Hampson
‘Alec’s Susan’s husband,’ Brand said by way of explanation. ‘He can’t leave the farm too often, but he does take a holiday once a year.’
‘Wendy’s getting tired,’ observed Jon. ‘She can’t keep up the pace.’
‘My little lot are quite wild,’ said Susan. ‘They never do seem able to tone down when they’re playing with younger children.’
‘It’s time they were all taking a rest.’ Brand called to them and they came immediately. ‘Sit down,’ he ordered. ‘You’ve done enough racing around for a while.’
Neal pouted and declared he wasn’t in the least tired.
‘We were going to have races,’ he began when Wendy interrupted him.
‘Yes, but you wouldn’t give me a start - and I’m only little.’
‘Of course you are,’ agreed Linda, frowning at Neal. ‘What do you mean by not giving Wendy a start?’
‘It isn’t fair!’
‘Well, you’re not racing, so it doesn’t matter.’ Brand looked sternly at him. ‘I said sit down.’
Excusing herself, Teri went indoors to prepare the tea; she was followed by Linda, who asked if she could help.
‘Don’t be polite and say no,’ she added, smiling. ‘Can I do the bread and butter? I usually get that job.’
‘If you don’t mind,’ began Teri, then shrugged. ‘It’s good of you, Linda. You’ll find the bread in that stone jar, and the butter’s here.’
‘I’m at home in this kitchen,’ Linda remarked a few minutes later as she cut the bread. ‘I used to help Mirrie when she had guests.’
‘You spend a lot of time with Brand.’
‘Yes, I come much more often than the others. I haven’t a proper job - in that I’m tied, that is. I merely do a little secretarial work for Alec, and help around the house for Susan.’
‘That’s a nice free sort of life.’
‘I enjoy it, especially as I can come to Brand just whenever I feel like it. He doesn’t always want me, I’m afraid, but I come just the same.’
‘Doesn’t always want you?’
‘He’s a born bachelor and prefers being alone.’
‘Has he never had a girl-friend?’ Teri asked after a small hesitation.
‘He has had, but he isn’t really interested. You might hear a rumour that he likes the women, but it’s the other way around: women like him, and I’m afraid they run after him. That both annoys and bores him, and I believe it’s made him cynical. If he did become interested in a woman he’s old-fashioned enough to consider that he should do the chasing, and so any woman who runs after him has lost him right from the start.’ Linda paused and grinned. ‘He’s so attractive that no woman could run away from him and so I’m pretty sure he’ll remain a bachelor - becoming stuffier and stuffier as the years go by. I’ve told him I can imagine him when he’s older, all shrivelled up and miserable and horribly set in his ways.’
Teri had to laugh, but she did wonder how Brand would take it could he hear the conversation going on about him.
‘Isn’t he already set in his ways?’
‘I suppose he is. He’s dreadfully methodical - and that I simply hate! That’s why I like this place, it’s totally lacking in order.’
‘It hasn’t always been - not when Mirrie’s husband had it.’
‘Not the farm part, no, but I’m talking about the house. Mirrie wasn’t a bit methodical and that’s why I found her so attractive.’
‘Men are usually more methodical than women,’ Teri pointed out, and Linda had to agree. ‘We want to get some sort of order here,’ Teri added. ‘I’m hoping to have some modem fittings in the house - well, at least in the kitchen.’
‘I agree this place needs renovating. You could do with some nice units - easy to keep clean. Mirrie liked scrubbing wooden table tops and that’s why she never changed all this old stuff.’
Teri made a face.
‘She won’t find anything to scrub in her new home. Father’s bought a brand new house.’
‘Poor Mirrie - but she was madly in love with your dad, so I expect she’ll not mind very much. We were all so surprised when she came back from her holiday and said she was getting married.’
‘So were Jon and I. We were quite perturbed, because it had all been so quick, but we liked Mirrie the moment we saw her.’
‘And you didn’t mind your dad getting married again?’ Linda had filled one plate and she put it on the tray ready to be carried into the dining-room.
‘On the contrary, we were glad - when we’d met Mirrie, that was.’
‘It isn’t good for men to be alone. I believe they should marry again - after a time, of course.’ A small pause and then, ‘How long has your brother been widowed?’
Disturbing waves flashed through Teri’s nerves, but she felt there was another reason besides her own inability to find an immediate answer to Linda’s question. At last she said,
‘Jon’s loss is recent, Linda. He’s been on his own less than five months.’
The girl’s eyes clouded.
‘So Wendy remembers her mother, then?’
‘Of course.’ How to change the subject? wondered Teri desperately. It had been foolish of Jon to tell the untruth, and yet Teri could understand his feelings. As he said, a man doesn’t go around telling strangers that his wife has left him.
‘Poor little scrap.’ Linda spoke softly, compassionately. ‘It’s a good thing she has you to look after her.’ Teri had made the tea and as most of the things had been put on the table by Jaru, she managed to change the subject, asking Linda to call the others in.
‘I’ll pour the tea in here because there won’t be much room on the table.’
Jaru took in the cups of tea on a tray and after telling him to see that the kettle was put on again Teri went in to join their guests.
After tea the children played again, but this time Brand went over to supervise. He gave Wendy such a long start that she won with more ease than she should have, and although Selena and Karen took it in good part Neal grumbled so much that his uncle sent him off to sit on the stoep.
Driven by the injustice of this, Teri went to Brand, saying it was unfair of him to give Wendy such a long start.
‘Neal’s unhappy,’ she said as Brand began to waive her protests. ‘He’s only asking for a sporting chance.’
‘He must learn not to give me cheek.’ Abrupt the tone and inflexible. ‘Neal stays where he is.’
Teri bit her lip, glancing at Neal, who had his knees up and his chin forlornly in his hands.
‘Can’t you have a race without Wendy?’ she suggested, and Brand frowned at her.
‘Uncle Brand, come on! Tell us when to start!’ Selena was impatient, but Brand ignored her, his attention still with Teri.
‘Neal is there because he was impertinent,’ he told her softly, and a flush rose, tinting Teri’s pallid cheeks.
‘I’m sorry. I just felt you weren’t being fair to him.’
‘I don’t want to race any more.’ Wendy took hold of Brand’s hand and smiled up at him. ‘I’m too tired.’ ‘We want to race, though. Please tell us to start!’ Brand turned, and raised a hand.
‘Ready, steady, steady, go!’ The two girls sped off, Karen having been given a small start.
‘What energy!’ murmured Teri, watching them. ‘We all had it once.’ Brand looked at her in some amusement. ‘And in your case it wouldn’t have been so very long ago?’ A question, and Teri answered,
‘It was a fair time ago. I’m twenty.’
‘Twenty.... Just a child, in fact.’
His manner surprised her. He seemed to have forgotten how they met, and her subsequent distant behaviour towards him.
‘I’m afraid I don’t feel a child - and one is as old as one feels, they say.’
‘And how old do you feel?’
She shrugged, suddenly shy and bewildered by his change of attitude towards her.
‘Ninety, sometimes.’
He smiled faintly, and t
he quality of mirth in his eyes caught and held her attention. No doubt about it, this man was certainly attractive.
‘Ninety!’ exclaimed Wendy, darting a glance at her. ‘That’s as old as Mrs. Silvester who used to live near us. She died and Mummy sent some flowers. Do you remember?’
‘Yes, Wendy, I remember,’
‘My Auntie Teri doesn’t look ninety, does she, Uncle Brand? She looks young, like my mummy, and pretty. Don’t you think she looks pretty?’
Teri’s flush deepened and she looked down at her hands. But it was the danger of the moment which disturbed her. Wendy must not talk about her mother.
‘If you don’t want to race any more then we’ll go and sit down—’ she began.
‘Yes, she is pretty,’ came Brand’s reply to Wendy’s question. ‘Very pretty.’
‘And do you like her dress? It’s Uncle Kemp’s favourite one. He used to say she looked beautiful in it—’
‘Wendy,’ interrupted Teri hastily. ‘Come and sit down.’
‘Who’s Uncle Kemp?’ asked Brand, deliberately keeping hold of the child’s hand.
‘He’s Auntie Teri’s young man. But he’s not here. He lives in England. They’re going to be married.’
Brand looked puzzled. His glance automatically flickering to Teri’s left hand.
‘You’re engaged?’
Teri glanced down at her niece. Her hesitation and confusion did not go unnoticed by Brand and he said quickly,
‘It’s a good idea of your aunt’s. We’ll all go and sit down.’
Teri gave a sigh of relief at being saved from answering the question. Brand’s understanding surprised her, but at the same time she knew he must now be deciding there definitely was some mystery, some very good reason for their coming here to Mirrie’s farm.
He released Wendy’s hand and she raced on ahead. Brand spoke as he and Teri strolled together towards the stoep where the others were sitting.
‘What makes you feel so old?’ Banter in his tone, but Teri detected the underlying seriousness behind it. She glanced up at him, her eyes wide but clouded. Shyness and uncertainty assailed her again. Brand was so unpredictable, she realized, for it was plain that he was now interested in her, if only in that his original indifference was fast disappearing.
‘I was merely joking,’ she managed at length.
‘It didn’t sound like a joke.’ His eyes roved her features, the crooked smile faintly visible. He seemed about to add to that sentence but refrained, waiting to see how she would react to it.
‘One says such things,’ she began when he inter- rupted her.
‘Not without reason, Teri.’
‘I don’t understand you,’ she spoke impetuously, trying to disentangle her thoughts in order to discover the reason for this sudden switch from indifference to curiosity on Brand’s part.
‘I’m not aware I’m speaking in riddles.’ Brand stopped by a tree and they stood under its shade, while low tones of conversation drifted to them from the direction of the stoep. Teri looked down at the bare ochre-coloured earth round the bole of the tree. Brand’s persistence was unnecessary and yet, strangely, she experienced no resentment - only a feeling of unsureness which she had never known before. The very fact of his stopping proved that he desired some comment from her, but she could only shake her head, making an effort to collect herself sufficiently to be able to meet his gaze, which she knew was fixed upon her. ‘What reason have you for feeling — er — ninety?’ Banter again, but Teri was not deceived. Brand was definitely puzzled.
‘Perhaps it’s the change,’ she murmured, her thoughts flying to Kemp and the future they had planned together, a future from whose fabric all pattern had been stripped so that nothing but drabness remained.
‘Might I ask — change from what?’
‘From my previous life,’ she evaded, making a move to walk on but finding her path barred as Brand also took a step, bringing him once more in front of her.
‘You used to work?’
‘Before Jon’s wife - Before Jon was left, yes, I gave up my work to housekeep for him, but you already know that.’
He nodded a little absently, then surprised her by saying,
‘Sometimes it’s good to talk, Teri... if you have the right listener.’
Something tingled in her veins; she felt a strange tightening of her throat. All her aversion for the male sex rose up, choking her. The right listener could never be a man.
‘I have no wish to talk.’ Her voice was frozen; she wondered if her dislike was apparent, conveyed to him by her stiffened attitude. It was, apparently, for she saw a muscle in his neck become taut.
‘Sorry,’ he said in tones matching her own. ‘I must ask your pardon for intruding.’ He moved then, striding briskly towards the stoep. Teri did not trouble to increase her speed to keep pace with him and when she joined the others he was just saying it was time they were making a move.
‘You’ll come again soon,’ Wendy urged, lifting her shining eyes to his. ‘And don’t forget the puppy, will you?’
‘Puppy?’ Teri stared at Brand. His eyes were hard, unfathomable.
‘Brand’s promised Wendy a puppy,’ her brother said, unaware of any tension in the air. ‘I said she could have it - although you, Teri, will be called upon to mop away all the little pools.’
‘I won’t mind that.’ Her eyes were still on Brand’s face. ‘Thank you,’ she said. ‘Wendy will love to have a dog.’
‘It’s not yet old enough, but she shall have it in another three or four days’ time.’
Linda had planned to return to Johannesburg with Susan and the children, but at the last minute she decided to remain with her cousin. Teri was happy about this for during the past three weeks she and Linda had become good friends. Teri’s relationship with Brand, however, seemed to deteriorate with every meeting and it became impossible that it could pass unnoticed either by Linda or Jon.
‘What’s the matter with you?’ Jon asked one evening when, having been invited to dinner at Candida Lodge, Teri informed him that she had changed her mind about going. ‘You seem to hate Brand, and for no valid reason that I can see.’
‘Hate? I told you before, all I feel for him is indifference.’
‘At that time it was indifference, but now it’s acute dislike - to put it mildly.’
She sighed, sacrificing amiability to impatience.
‘What does it matter? In any case, he doesn’t like me.’
‘Brand’s not the man to dislike without reason. He must be wondering what’s wrong with you.’
‘Then let him wonder. It isn’t any of his business what’s wrong with me.’
Jon came to her and put a hand round her shoulders.
‘Teri, you’ll have to snap out of this. Kemp has gone from your life. The union was severed before it was welded. You’ll meet someone else in time, someone more trustworthy...’ He allowed his words to trail away in silence as he drew her to him and held her while she wept.
‘I’m so sorry, Jon, but I can’t help it. I cared far too much, I realize that—’ She drew away, but his hands still rested on her arms. ‘You can’t stop loving, not so quickly.’
Bitterness looked out from her brother’s eyes.
‘No, Teri, that’s true, you can’t stop loving so quickly.’
‘I’m sorry,’ she said again. ‘Don’t think I’m insensible to the fact that your loss is greater than mine, Jon. And I always feel selfish when you have to comfort me like this.’ She took a handkerchief from her pocket and dried her eyes. ‘I’ll come with you,’ she said unexpectedly. ‘I do dislike Brand, but Linda will be there.’
He seemed uncertain now and said,
‘Try not to show it, Teri. Brand’s being very good to us, you know. Nothing’s too much trouble for him. Only this morning he offered to lend me a dozen of his men until we get that bush cleared. Who would you find to be as generous as that?’
‘No one. I’m fully appreciative of all he’s doing
, but it’s just... something....’ Something, but what exactly? Surely she could treat him impersonally, yet be amicable and reveal her gratitude. Teri felt that if she were the sole owner of Karunda Brand would let her flounder, for he must feel he wasted his time in trying to be helpful. But he liked Jon, admiring his courage, so he was willing to go to great lengths to make his path smoother.
‘I’ll not let him notice it,’ she promised, and was gratified to see Jon’s face clear.
‘Good girl! Go and doll yourself up. Put on that pretty white dress with the low-cut neckline. It suits you better than anything, so it must do something to lift your spirits.’
She managed a shaky laugh, promising to doll herself up, as he termed it. And she kept her promise, taking more care than she ever had since her parting from Kemp. Strange how a woman dresses up for her man. Never for other women, or even for herself - only for the man who would look at her and in whose eyes she would find the admiration for which she yearned.
The puppy Brand had promised was already a well- loved member of the family and before Teri and Jon left the house Teri told Jaru not to forget to give him his supper.
‘And do make sure his basket’s clean and dry, won’t you?’ she added, smiling. Jaru’s white teeth flashed in response.
‘Yes, missy, I see to that all right.’
After telling Joseph’s wife to have supper if she wanted it they left Karunda and walked across their own land towards the bridge. The evening was still with not a leaf stirring. Darkness had closed in on the tumbled tree-clad bluffs rising above the valley. Cicadas poured forth their incessant whirr and from afar the sound of a drumbeat could be heard.
Brand met them as they mounted the steps to his wide front entrance. He was in a white shirt, his hair shining as if newly-washed, his skin like polished bronze. The twisted smile appeared, politely embracing them both. Determined not to cause her brother a moment’s discomfiture, Teri smiled in response and, just as she half expected, Brand lifted one eyebrow in a gesture of sardonic amusement. What has come over you? came the question. His eyes ran over her, taking in the curves, a little sharp-edged now because of her thinness, but delicate for all that. Then his eyes moved, to the beautiful line of her throat and neck, and then to her face, still flushed from his silent question.
