Son of Eden, a Paranormal Romance (Tales of the Guardian)
Page 14
When they reached the car she extended her hand out toward him.
“I need my keys please,” she said just above a whisper.
“Whatever you need,” Alexander replied, as he reached into his pants and retrieved the keys.
“I’m not angry with you, but I still can’t be around you right now. I have to think, alone. I’m sure you don’t understand why, I’m sorry.” Emily was beginning to cry again, the tears felt hot against her chilled cheeks.
“Take however much time you want. I’ll be here when you need me,” he vowed sweetly as he placed the keys in her hand.
“I know,” Emily murmured as she got into the car.
She put the BMW in reverse and could see that Alexander was still in the spot where she had left him. When she pulled out onto the street she glanced once more in his direction, but he was gone.
Chapter 8
* * *
That’s All
The sound of the rain outside had slowed to a lull drumming. When Emily reached her family’s cabin on the lake, the freezing rain had begun to fall. She had wondered why it hadn’t turned to snow; it certainly felt cold enough.
The house was damp and chilly when Emily arrived. She turned the heater on but it was taking a long time to warm the place. In an effort to get more comfortable, Emily had started a fire in the giant stone fireplace that graced the center of the living room. After her second attempt had produced a meager flame, she had slumped down on the piano bench just a few feet from the large hearth and gazed out the giant windows that covered the entire exterior wall. She watched the rain beat down on the deck and dock that stretched from their property all the way to the lake. Rain made the water look as though it was boiling, thumping every square inch of the surface.
She sat for what seemed like hours, staring at the small flame as it flickered and fought against the draft that trickled down the chimney. She felt a lot like that little flame, as though she too was struggling to exist. The cold that surrounded her only made her think of Alexander with his warm arms, and how quickly his embrace could heat her body. She longed for his touch, his arms to be wrapped around her.
As soon as she had given in to thinking about Alexander, the tears began to flow freely and had not stopped for the past two hours.
Emily found her emotions jumping from complete sorrow to fits of rage. At one point she wanted to throw things and break them. Death and suffering were always a difficult concept for Emily to grasp. When her mother was diagnosed and died so soon afterward, she was left more confused than ever and with more grief than she felt was humanly possible to bear.
Being raised to believe in God and Heaven and an eternal reward for those who did good in this life had sustained Emily in the first months after her mother was diagnosed. Her mother was an exceptional woman, a good person. Emily felt like there was no way God would let her mother die because it wasn’t her time. She was needed by her family, by Emily. After four grueling months of witnessing the effects of surgeries and chemotherapy, Emily’s beliefs shifted. She didn’t understand how a loving God could allow for such suffering. She wondered why He would punish her mother and her family with this awful tragedy.
The nights Emily spent in the hospital holding her mother’s frail hand, stroking it and praying changed her. She determined that either no one was listening to her prayers, or that they simply didn’t care. A few months after her mother’s death Emily broke down, and in a hurtful rage, began shouting and cursing God or whoever it was that had inflicted this disease upon her mother. Her father had allowed her to carry on until she was exhausted, and then let her collapse in his arms.
As he held her, he shared his thoughts and feelings about everything for the first time since the funeral. Emily’s dad had told her that he didn’t believe that God had done this to punish them. He knew that wasn’t His nature. He told Emily that after becoming a father he had gained a new perspective on how he thought things worked.
“I think we are all here on this earth to do certain things, fulfill certain missions in this life. We are each unique and have an important role. Some of us are here for a short while because what we need to accomplish doesn’t involve much time, while others of us have a purpose that requires us to remain on earth longer.” Emily could tell he truly believed what he was saying. Her father continued his monologue, determined to express the feelings of his heart.
“I also don’t believe that all the bad things that happen in this life are punishments. If all we ever knew were happiness and bliss, what would there be for us to accomplish here? Whose life could we change for the better? What good would need to be brought about by our hands? No… trials and sickness are given to us to help us learn and grow and become stronger by overcoming it all. As your father, I have witnessed you do a lot in your life, and there have been times I have had to stand back and watch you toil and trouble over some things because I knew it was in your best interest to learn for yourself from your own experiences.
“When you were learning how to swim Emily, it was the first thing that ever seemed truly hard for you to accomplish. You were like a rock and you sank as soon as I let go. But I knew that with us having a home by the lake, if you didn’t learn how to swim, you could have an accident and drown.”
At the time, Emily had given a little snicker as her mind was filled with the memories of learning to swim. It was frightening for her, and she still did not enjoy playing in the water. She was not a strong swimmer.
“If I had rescued you every time your head went below water, you would have never learned how to swim. It was hard for me to see you gag and choke and struggle, but eventually you learned to stay afloat, and you were stronger because of it. I knew you were tough enough to go through the pains of learning because I knew eventually you would swim. You see, I think it is the same with this life. Sometimes we are allowed to sink a bit below water and choke and struggle along the way because in the end we are stronger and in the end it teaches us how to tread through the hard times, to stay afloat.
“You and I were given this trial because we are strong enough to handle it. God knows that we’re not going to sink like a rock because of all this. He knows we’ll eventually come out with our heads above water, our muscles stronger because of all the paddling and stroking it takes to make it to the shore.” Her father’s eyes had remained dry until he expressed his last thought. Only then did he allow the tears to spill over his lids and streak down his face.
That talk with Emily was crucial to her emotional recovery. She now tried to replay it in her mind as she struggled to make sense of everything once again. The new information she obtained back at the cafe caused Emily to experience the same feelings she had before, the same questions in her mind. Emily wondered why Alexander hadn’t received the prompting to heal her mother’s sickness. If Alexander loved her so much, why had he let it happen? Why had he not just acted on his own?
The questions had caused her to sob uncontrollably, but when she had finally expelled all of her anger and hurt she began to think clearly again. The answers to all of Emily’s questions finally resonated within. The counsel her father gave her two years before held the explanation she sought.
She had hated every minute of swim lessons and thought at the time her father was punishing her, yet she knew afterward that wasn’t true. He taught her how to swim because he loved her and he knew she could handle it. It was something in life she needed.
She now knew that it was the same with Alexander.
Just because he had allowed something to happen to her that wasn’t truly in his power to change didn’t mean he didn’t love her. It actually meant the opposite. He loved her enough to let her learn, to not interfere with an experience that, for some reason or another, she needed in this life.
Now, as Emily sat at the piano bench she felt foolish. She felt silly over how she initially reacted and wondered how she could make things right. She thought back to how compassionate Alexander was with her. He h
ad never lost his temper or said anything to hurt her feelings. She was upset with herself for not being the same way with him, for not showing him the same respect.
Emily wasn’t sure how she was supposed to let Alexander know she was ready to talk to him when she was still too embarrassed to speak. Reaching out she struck a key on the grand piano before her. She turned her body to fully face the piano and placed her hands in the correct position.
Emily began to play a soft melody on the piano. It was ‘Ode to Joy,’ the song she played for Alexander on their first date. When she was finished she looked around to see if Alexander was there.
“What am I expecting? He may not even be here, and even if he is, he’s probably used to hearing me play that song whenever I’m sad. How is he supposed to know my intentions? Alexander, if only you could hear my thoughts. I want you here again, I’m sorry.”
Letting her head drop she sat for a minute trying to work up the courage to call for him. Then another song came to her mind, a song that she was not that familiar with but had heard enough to recall a few notes of a piano solo in the beginning.
It was the song that she and Alexander had danced to the night of the charity concert. She tried drumming it out and stumbled over a few notes at first. She started over. This time she was able to pick out the melody and when she tried a third time she got through two measures with only a few mistakes.
The sweet notes pulled her mind back to that night when Alexander had gracefully swept her across the dance floor to the romantic tune. Emily was about to start crying again. Suddenly she felt it, that feeling like someone else was in the room. Someone was behind her, watching her. She was about to turn around when she felt Alexander’s warm hands slowly slide down over her shoulders to gently caress her upper arms.
Reaching up, she crossed her arms and placed her hands on each of Alexander’s. Her small delicate fingers squeezed his, showing that she was glad his massive hands were there.
“Alexander I’m so …,” Emily began.
Alexander interrupted her with a soft, “Shhh.”
She was quickly silenced as he grabbed her hand and gently guided her up and around to face him. He led her around the bench and into his loving embrace. His warmth brought relief to Emily; she cuddled into him, laying the side of her head against his chest.
She heard what she thought was a low rumble. She soon realized he was humming a tune. By the time Emily recognized the tune, Alexander had begun to rock and sway their bodies to the familiar beat. Once they had made a full circle, Alexander began to sing. His voice was smooth, deep, and soft, like a voice you would have heard sing the song originally, in the 1940’s.
I can only give you love that lasts forever,
and the promise to be near each time you call.
And the only heart I own, for you and you alone…
That’s all, that’s all…
The lyrics flowed from his mouth like rich melted chocolate; there was no need for instrumental accompaniment. His voice held the melody with precision, as if a full orchestra were already present in the room.
I can only give you country walks in springtime.
And a hand to hold when leaves begin to fall.
And a love whose burning light will warm the winter’s night.
That’s all… That’s all…
There are those I am sure who have told you
they would give you the world for a toy.
All I have are these arms to enfold you,
and a love time can never destroy.
It seemed as though Emily’s heart were truly and literally melting. She felt the tears well up in her eyes once more as she wondered why on earth he loved her so much, and what was so great about her that he would feel this way. Alexander then finished the song in a soft tone just above a whisper:
If you’re wondering what I’m asking in return, dear,
you’ll be glad to know that my demands are small.
Say it’s me that you’ll adore, for now and evermore.
That’s all… That’s all…
After he finished, Alexander continued to hold her in a tight embrace until her supple sobs stopped. When Emily finally gained control of herself she looked up to meet his tender gaze.
“I’m sorry, Alexander,” she said, expressing her regret in each syllable.
“There is no need for an apology. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to tell you the truth in a better setting, with maybe a little more preparation.” Alexander now freed one of his hands and lightly tucked a lock of hair back behind her ear.
“I shouldn’t have acted that way. I know you had no control over everything that happened. I’m sorry I acted so immaturely.”
“I told you there is no need to say you’re sorry. You need to give yourself some credit, Emily. Believe me when I say that I have seen much worse reactions to much smaller problems. You have always handled yourself with grace and strength.” Alexander was now as close as he could be without their lips touching.
Emily felt her heart begin the familiar race, like a hundred horses were running circles deep within her chest. But as soon as she thought Alexander was going to finally kiss her, he loosened his embrace and leaned back a bit.
“No hard feelings, okay? No more feeling bad about it, promise?” He asked.
Emily gave a disappointed sigh. “Okay.”
“I didn’t expect that putting it behind us would make you even sadder. If feeling guilty somehow makes you feel better then you can do that if you prefer,” Alexander teased.
“No it’s not that. I agree, we should forget about all this and move on, I’m glad you’re being so forgiving. It’s just that… never mind, it’s silly.” Emily hesitated. Expressing her real thoughts right now seemed frivolous in light of what had just gone on between them.
“You know you can tell me anything, even if it’s silly. I promise not to laugh. Does that make it any better?” Alexander flashed his irresistibly warm, broad smile.
“I was just wondering… well, I’ve been wondering why you haven’t kissed me.” Emily felt her cheeks go red, but she pushed past the humiliation and continued. “Just seconds ago, it seemed like you were going to, and then you pulled away. Is it because… because you’re not attracted to me on the same level that I’m attracted to you?” Emily let her head hang down to hide her shame
Alexander abruptly pulled away and held her at arms distance. His hand guided her chin up so he could look directly into her eyes.
“Do you honestly believe that’s why I haven’t kissed you, because I’m not physically attracted to you?” Alexander sounded as though he was in utter disbelief.
“Yeah, well, it’s just that you look, well you look absolutely perfect, not even a hair out of place, ever. I’m definitely not in the same class, that’s for sure. And I don’t know if things are different for you Guardians when it comes to those types of physical feelings.” Emily retorted.
Alexander gave a tentative chuckle. “Emily that is one of the many reasons I love you. You are so blissfully unaware of all your amazing qualities. You have got to be one of the most humble people I know, which is unusual for your circumstances.”
Emily looked at him with a questioning gaze.
“So what on earth does that mean?”
Alexander shook his head. “Your beauty far exceeds that of anyone, or anything I have seen in all my existence.”
“I have a hard time believing that,” Emily responded, her lips tight.
“ I guarantee that I have studied your features more than you have. I know what I’m talking about. For instance, at first glance most people would say your hair is brown, but it’s not. It has copper highlights that run throughout it, and when you step out in the sun the red in your hair shines as though it’s on fire. Or your eyes. They might seem like a basic hazel but when looked at closely, they have golden specks that shimmer and dance when you are excited. Your thick black lashes generously outline their large almond shape, making them
stand out even more.” He paused a moment and then whispered, “And when you’re upset or angry, those eyes of yours go bright green, especially when you cry.”
Alexander then traced the outline of Emily’s lips with his thumb. “Your lips are full and soft and when you get close enough you can see that the tops come to a perfectly sharp point, something I’ve never seen in all my years. Your skin is like silk that’s lightly touched by the sun. Your nose gracefully glides down with a slight upturn that keeps your face looking youthful…” He paused. “Your features, when looked at separately, are simply beautiful, but put together… you are breathtaking.”
Emily felt a rush go through her body. She had never looked at herself the way Alexander described, but she knew he was being honest. She knew that was how he saw her.