by Niles, Abby
And Julie Rogers was owned by no man.
…
What the hell had he just done?
Tommy slammed the back door behind him as he stalked into the kitchen. Fucking hell. Julie’d said the word “brother” again, and he’d simply lost it.
Next thing he knew he was grinding his mouth against hers. He never kissed like that. Out of outright jealousy…out of an anger-induced bitterness. That kiss had been the equivalent of his performance the night he defended his title—mind-numbingly pathetic.
Jealousy was not something he’d ever dealt with, and if it made him do stupid shit like this, then he’d rather do without.
Julie slammed into the house behind him. “What the hell was that, Tommy?”
He scrubbed a hand over his face. “A mistake.”
“No freaking joke.”
Yeah, she was pissed. She had every right to be, too. For more than two decades he’d done nothing but tell the woman she was his sister, and just when she started getting close to some guy, he pulls a chest-pounding me-Tarzan-you-Jane stunt like that. And for what?
Nothing. There wasn’t anything he could offer her instead.
Except, maybe, a damn good time in bed. But as much as his libido was all for that option, his heart wasn’t in it. He’d rather have his friendship intact. Which it wouldn’t be if he was his mother’s son—and so far he was.
Her hands jammed onto her hips. “I’m waiting for an explanation, Tommy.”
“I don’t have one,” he ground out.
“That’s it? That’s all you have to say?”
He clamped his jaw. What did she want him to say? That he wanted to fuck her? Lay her down right there on the floor and pound into her hard? Have his way with her, as he’d had so many women in the past?
With a growl of anger, she shook her head. “This living situation isn’t working. I really think it would be best if you found somewhere else to go.”
Stunned, his mouth dropped open. “Julie—”
“I do not like being kissed like I am owned, especially by a man who has never once looked at me like I’m a woman. I don’t know what it is about Brody that has you all worked up, but you need to get over it. Do you understand?”
Fusing his teeth together, he remained silent. He had kissed her like he owned her, and he regretted that. But she was so wrong about the woman part, and for the first time, it bothered him that she had no idea how fucking hot he found her. Okay, maybe he had spent years only seeing her as a sibling, but he didn’t anymore. Never would again. That was the damn problem.
“I’ll start looking tomorrow,” he bit out.
She gave a curt nod. “I don’t think we should go to the wedding together, either. In fact, I want to go with Brody.”
First she refused a ride from him at the park, and now she wanted to go to a fighter’s wedding with a fighter who wasn’t him? Another wave of jealousy punched him right in the sweet spot, making him see stars. That violent urge to brand her as his almost crippled him.
“You would rather take him to the wedding?”
She nodded.
He felt his nostrils flare. “Fine. Go with him. I don’t care.”
Oh, he fucking cared. He cared so fucking much that if he didn’t leave this room right this second, he was liable to punch a fist through a wall.
He stormed past her down the hallway and slammed his bedroom door.
Inhaling deep breaths, he stalked around the room. The kiss played over and over in his mind. Did Brody kiss her differently? Better than he did?
The question made his body quake with anger. Images of her in Brody’s arms tormented him, making Tommy fist his hands and want to pummel something.
No, he did not want her with that man.
He didn’t want her with any man.
He wanted her for himself.
Considering his certainty that he took after his mother, that had to be the most selfish thing he’d ever wanted. But, God help him, he couldn’t sit back and let another man steal her away. He could only hope there was some romantic tenderness inside him somewhere. Julie deserved a man who was insanely attracted to her but who could still sit on the couch with her, hold her, kiss her, without pouncing on her in blind lust.
Maybe if he could do that much, the urge to flee from her in the morning wouldn’t set in and ruin their friendship completely. Maybe with her, he could stick around.
And he planned to prove he could do just that.
To her…and to himself.
…
Julie slipped into the house, giving the dogs a good ruffling as they trotted up to greet her. She glanced but everything was quite. Tommy’s rental car was outside, so he had to be here. Today would be the first time she’d seen him in a week. Somehow she’d been able to avoid him, ever since she told him she wanted to take Brody to the wedding. God knew she’d had to stay away. Once the anger had worn off, the realization had set in.
Tommy Sparks, the man she’d spent more of her life in love with than not, had finally kissed her.
Without one ounce of passion.
On the surface, she’d known that. It was why the kiss had made her so furious. The meaning, however, had taken a little longer to sink in.
Even though he’d kissed her, he still wasn’t attracted to her. How could he be, and be so cold as he touched her?
Mortification set in, so ugly its shame had burrowed deep in her chest and, for the second time in a week, she had cried over Tommy. Mostly she’d cried for the teenage girl who’d always believed that one day a wonderful kiss would change the way Tommy looked at her.
Because that girl had just been proven wrong.
It hadn’t been wonderful, and it hadn’t changed him. If anything, it had made things a whole lot worse.
In her teenage fantasies, some other boy’s interest in her would always spark a fit of jealousy that had Tommy yanking her to him and kissing her. But unlike what had happened in reality, in her fantasy as soon as his lips touched her, his jealousy fled. He would groan against her mouth in passionate desire, gather her close to his chest, and thoroughly kiss her in a way that made every fantasy she’d ever had seem like child’s play to the real thing.
It was supposed to be awe-inspiring, mind-blowing…life-altering.
Okay, yeah. It had been life-altering—just not in the way she’d fantasized. She’d had to face the fact that Tommy had finally kissed her…and hadn’t felt anything. That had been a hard truth to swallow, and she’d spent the entire week coping with her turbulent feelings. She’d slip out of the house before he got up, remaining at the clinic for lunch, then staying out with Brody or Melody until late. When she got home for the night, she’d pass Tommy with a quick good night and go straight to her room. One thing was clear, though—he hadn’t found a place to live yet. And she couldn’t continue avoiding him in her own home.
It was time to let it go and move on.
The kiss had been a mistake. Nothing had changed between them. Their relationship was the same as it ever was.
So tonight, instead of going out, she’d decided to stay and face the music. Just her luck he wasn’t anywhere in sight. She went into the kitchen and poured herself a glass of Merlot. Now she just wanted to slip into a pair of yoga pants and a T-shirt and enjoy a glass of wine before she took a long bath and enjoyed a second glass of wine. God, that sounded heavenly. She really missed her quiet evenings at home.
After she changed, she wandered into the living room. Still no Tommy. She went to the back door and opened it. Grunts and oofs immediately assailed her.
What in the world?
Tommy and Mac were wrestling on a blue mat they’d laid down on the grass. All kinds of equipment was scattered around, as well. Grappling dummies, pads, gloves, even a freestanding bag with one of those sand-filled bases. So Tommy was trying to get back in the cage.
Good for him.
She stepped out on the patio and waited until they broke apart. “How’s it goi
ng?”
Tommy’s head snapped over in her direction, and the smile that came to his lips made her heart stutter.
“Hey, stranger,” he said. “Good to see you.”
“Seems you’ve got quite the operation going on.”
Chuckling, he jogged over and dropped a kiss on her cheek, as he always had, as if they hadn’t had a huge argument a few days before. “Yeah, been doing this every day since the park.”
“Here?”
“Yep.”
Wow. She really had been MIA.
Mac walked over with a duffel bag full of gear and slapped hands with Tommy. “Okay, I’m out of here.”
“All right man, see ya tomorrow.”
Mac disappeared through the back door.
“Can I get you to help me with something?” he asked her as he used a towel to wipe the sweat off his face and neck. “I’m rusty on some of the grappling moves and could use the practice.”
She hesitated. Not that she hadn’t done this in the past. But she wasn’t sure if she wanted Tommy to touch her, not after what had happened.
Didn’t she want it all to go back to normal?
Yeah, she did.
“Sure. What do you want me to do?”
He motioned for her to follow him on the mat. After he lay down on his back, he beckoned her closer with his fingers and gave her a cocky smile. “Climb on.”
“W-What?”
“I’m having a problem with full mounts. So I need for you to mount me.”
He said it like it was everyday business for him, which, okay, it was, but straddling that man’s hips was an erotic escapade for her.
You can do this.
Taking a deep breath, she stepped over him with one foot, then lowered to her knees until her very feminine center met his very manly front. Air whooshed from Tommy, and with almost lightning speed, he yanked her up by the ass to the middle of his torso.
“I thought I needed to be lower than this.”
“No. You’re shorter. Got to be here.” The strain in his voice was evident.
Had she hurt him when she sat on him? Judging by his clenched jaw, she must have.
“What do I do now?” she asked.
“Brace your hands on either side of my head.”
As she leaned forward to do as he instructed, he scooted his body farther underneath her. “What are you doing?”
Green eyes jumped to hers. “What?”
“All this shifting?” At least his moving was keeping her from focusing on the fact she had his body between her legs.
“I’m trying to compensate for the fact you’re not a six-foot dude, okay?”
She scowled. “You don’t have to get all snippy. Jeez.”
Two large hands grabbed two handfuls of butt cheek and hauled her even farther up his chest. If he brought her much higher, she’d be sitting on his face.
Ah, hell.
Tingles erupted low in her belly. Why, oh, why had she gone and thought that?
He whacked down one of the arms she had braced beside his head, and she squealed in surprise. Next thing she knew, she’d been rolled onto her back and was looking up at the darkening sky instead of Tommy. Why? Because his face was lower. So much lower. Belly button lower. She was having a very difficult time catching her breath because the weight of his upper chest was pressing very intimately against her, between her legs. And he wasn’t moving.
Why wasn’t he moving?
Oh, wait. Now he was. Scrambling, actually. As though he couldn’t get off her fast enough.
Once he’d turned his back to her, he said, “Thanks. That helped,” as he yanked on a pair of gloves, then went to town on the bag.
Sadness lay heavy in her chest. She was watching, helpless, as he slipped away from her.
And it was all because of that damn kiss that never should have happened.
Chapter 7
Julie twisted to look at herself from every angle in the mirror. The coral handkerchief dress she’d put on fit her perfectly. Trimmed with faux diamond rhinestones, the strapless bodice hugged her breasts, while the empire waistline made the fabric drape loosely around her waist and thighs. She’d twisted her hair up in a loose updo, leaving a few strands to curl around her face.
Everything was perfect. Down to the silver-studded peep-toe pumps she’d bought specifically for the wedding.
She could hear Tommy moving around. Pacing. Muttering. A curse here, a curse there. She didn’t go investigate. He’d been on edge all morning. After she’d asked him about it, he’d barked out that he wasn’t looking forward to the wedding. Then she understood. It would be the first time he’d been around most of the guys, including Mike, in months. After that realization, she’d given him space to deal with the stress of it.
She glanced at the clock. The wedding started in less than an hour. Brody should arrive at any minute to pick her up. When she went into the living room, she froze. Tommy stood in front of the window with his back toward her, wearing a black suit.
As he turned to face her, her stomach twisted. The blazer hugged broad shoulders and was unbuttoned to reveal the tight button-down black shirt underneath. His red tie lay flat against his chest, and it made her gaze zero in on the way the fabric hugged his torso and trim waist.
“Wow,” he said.
She searched for a word to describe how he looked. She found many: sinful, delicious, forbidden…a walking wet dream. But she couldn’t use those, so she decided against returning the sentiment and instead fanned out her dress and went with, “Not too shabby, huh?”
“God, Julie, you’re breathtaking.”
A pleased flush warmed her skin. Tommy had complimented her many times over the years, but breathtaking was a new one, and she loved hearing it come out of his mouth.
As he walked toward her, his hand outstretched, time slowed. The sexy lift of one corner of his lips and the appreciative shine in his eyes as he took her hand held her captivated.
She couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t turn away. Couldn’t stop her body from willingly going forward as he tugged her against his chest, his other arm slipping around her waist to hold her close.
As he swayed them, he whispered, “Save a dance for me?”
Words refused to squeeze past her tight throat, so she simply nodded. Then he lowered his head and she thought her lungs would explode from the air trapped inside them. When his lips brushed her cheek, scorching her skin, she closed her eyes, a stuttered exhale finally shooting past her lips.
She instinctively rubbed her face against his as he drew her closer, his cheek resting against hers. The heat of his skin felt so good. She absorbed the feeling, wanting to press her body closer to his. Without thought, she slipped her fingers from his and slid both hands up his arms to wind around his neck.
He skimmed his palm over her waist, then her hip, to join his other hand resting above the curve of her butt. He’d never held her like this before, like a lover, hands touching areas never touched before. It was enthralling. Enticing. And, heaven help her, she couldn’t get enough.
When he pulled his head back, she tilted hers up to look at him. Their eyes locked, mouths slightly parted, mere inches apart. Her breath hitched, her body frozen, waiting for him to close the distance between their lips—to really kiss her.
But he never moved, just gazed down at her.
The doorbell rang.
He blinked, cursing under his breath as his arms tightened around her waist for a brief moment before he stepped back. “Your date is here.”
She stared at him. Seriously? She was so ready to forget Brody was standing right outside the door, ready to forget the wedding altogether. So how could Tommy simply step away and let her leave? With another man?
Oh God, he hadn’t felt it. The sizzle. The connection. The rightness of them in each other’s arms.
It had all been a figment of her vivid imagination. While she’d formed an elaborate romantic scenario that fed her forbidden desires, he’d simply been d
ancing with his best friend, completely oblivious to her as a woman. He hadn’t closed the distance because it hadn’t occurred to him to do so. And it never would.
At what point would that sink into her thick skull? What more did he have to do to prove he didn’t see her that way? If giving her a passionless kiss wouldn’t do it, shouldn’t the horror on his face when he’d seen her naked have done it?
It was as if she was desperate to find something…anything…that belied his words, because it was simply pathetic for her to be so deeply in love with someone who couldn’t even see her as a desirable woman. The truth of that thought hit her like a hundred pound Great Dane.
In one fell swoop, Tommy had blinked away all the years she’d spent accepting her platonic role in his life. The years he’d always treated her as just his best friend. He had never tried anything intimate with her. But with one horrible, lackluster kiss, she was back to being that lovesick teenage girl, wanting desperately to be wrong about his feelings for her.
And it made her so furious she wanted to cry.
When the doorbell rang again, she spun and answered the door.
Brody stood there looking devastatingly handsome in a charcoal suit, but nothing could compare to the devastating sight of Tommy his.
“Wow.”
He repeated Tommy’s words with the same appreciative tone, but she didn’t get the same warm flush, and right now she needed that reaction more than anything. Needed any kind of reaction from any man other than Tommy. She forced a smile. “Wow yourself.”
“You ready?”
As she grabbed her purse off the table by the door, she glanced toward Tommy standing in the living room. Their eyes connected, and she was stunned by the anger she saw simmering in them.
Had he realized how much she’d wanted him to kiss her—really kiss her? Was he angry at her for making things awkward between them? Was he finally putting together how she felt about him?
God, she didn’t need that humiliation on top of everything else. Not because he’d changed the rules and kissed her. She’d been fine. They’d been fine. And then she’d gone and messed it up.
