by Eric Vall
“Wow, is that General Grigsby?” the fairy gasped. “I’ve heard news of soldiers being possessed, of course, but I have to admit it’s a surprise to see the great general this way.”
“It is.” Cienna nodded grimly. “I fear this plague is spreading into our kingdom, and we’re going to have to come up with a plan to contain it.”
“You know that’s what I’m here for,” Fiona responded. “Anything you have to deal with, I’m here to help.”
The strawberry-blonde fairy looked down at the man tied up on the ground with an intent look in her eyes, and I noticed for the first time she was holding some sort of wand with a glowing pink star on the end. Then she pointed at General Grigsby with the magical device, and his body immediately stopped jerking and twitching.
“Will he be okay?” Jessamine asked with wide eyes.
“Sure,” Fiona said and nodded. “It’s just a temporary paralysis spell. It can’t hurt him, but I’m going to try to think of something more permanent.”
“Can you help us move him somewhere? I’d not want him waking up and hurting either of my women.” I glanced down at the man on the ground and noticed he had started to foam at the mouth. His eyes were still wide open, and I could still see the strange white glow.
“You… I like you,” the fairy told me with a sly smile, and a prickle ran down the back of my neck. “We’re going to work well together.”
Cienna was watching us with a smile on her face.
“What?” I asked the blonde.
“Oh, I’m sure you’re going to find out,” she informed me in a tone I couldn’t read. “Fiona will reveal all things in time.”
“Anyway!” Fiona clapped her hands. “Let’s take care of the general, and then we can work some other things out. It’s a shame, General Grigsby is such a good man. But I promise, I won’t hurt him.”
“We were talking about bringing him to the dungeon, but I was wondering if we couldn’t come up with something better,” Cienna began. “If we hold him in the dungeon, it’s likely other soldiers will see him and wonder what the hell is going on. And I hate to think of my friend being locked up like a common criminal, even if he is possessed.”
“You have a whole palace here,” I pointed out. “Is there anywhere else we could keep him?”
“Yes, hero!” Jessamine grinned. “You’re right! Could we move him somewhere else in the castle?”
“Perhaps,” Cienna said and glanced down at the man on the ground. “There are many bedchambers here. We can move him to an empty room and try to keep the servants away, because I want as few people as possible to know about what’s going on with the general. I definitely don’t want anyone to know where he’s being kept in the castle.”
“Well… ” Fiona said and tapped a finger against her ruby lips. “Unfortunately, I can’t just transport him to another room. But--”
“I know!” Jessamine interrupted. “We could disguise him to look like something we could easily carry across the palace. Then no one will find out where he’s hidden. What would be easiest?”
“It could be as simple as cake!” Cienna said as she snapped her fingers.
“Uhh, cake?” I asked. “Don’t you mean pie and easy?”
“Well, flour!” the blonde princess giggled. “We transform the general into a large flour sack. Then Joe can throw it over his shoulder, and we can take him to one of the palace’s chambers. Perfect!”
“I can do that… ” Jessamine trailed off as she looked at Fiona. “But it’s probably better if you do it, since your powers are—”
“Go ahead!” The fairy godmother waved a hand. “I love to see a new enchantress practicing her marriage magic.”
“Well, I have been working on my spells with Joe’s help,” she replied as her cheeks turned a little pink, and she looked down at the ground shyly. “It’s gotten a lot easier for me to transform people, and I’d like to try.”
“You can do it, Jessamine,” I encouraged her.
The raven-haired princess began to concentrate, and I saw the telltale shimmering air in front of General Grigsby that meant a major transformation was about to happen. In only a matter of seconds, the man looked like nothing so much as a large grain sack lying on the ground.
“That was amazing,” Cienna marveled, and her azure eyes were wide. “You’ve gotten so much more powerful, Jessamine. Now, let’s get moving before the illusion starts to fade.”
“Don’t worry about that,” her fairy godmother replied. “When I’m around, everyone’s powers are a little stronger. It should be easy for Jessamine to keep her magic going for quite a while.”
“Sounds good,” I said, and I picked up the large brown bag and slung it over my shoulder. It couldn’t have weighed more than ten pounds, and I turned to my dark-haired wife with a grin.
“Wow, he weighs practically nothing,” I laughed. “This is amazing, Jessamine.”
“Thank you, Joe.” My dark-haired wife blushed.
“We should be able to go up a back staircase,” Cienna told us as she and Jessamine began walking. “There’s a door in this tower that leads to a set of stairs, and we can take the upper walkways to the hall with the bedchambers.”
“Come on, hero,” Fiona said, and she grabbed me by the arm to pull me along back toward the building.
“Uhh, sure.” I stumbled along behind the beautiful woman, since she was surprisingly quick in her high heels.
When we reached the side of the tower, the fairy pointed her wand at its heavy door, and it flew open and slammed into the outside wall.
“Now, I’m just showing off,” Fiona said and winked at me.
We proceeded into a dim stairway and began our climb, and we were obviously in a servants’ area, because the stairs were only made of old, dusty wood. The staircase climbed up in a spiral for at least ten floors, and we were all out of breath when we reached the top.
Cienna pushed open a door that opened onto an outdoor stone walkway. From this high up in the air, it was awesome to look down on everything I’d seen earlier in the courtyard below. I could see light glinting off the knights’ armor and barely hear the sounds of the horses whinnying. I followed the group of women down the passage with my flour sack, and we soon entered what appeared to be a hallway of servants’ quarters. The simple iron beds in the chambers we passed were made up with plain white linens, and they were placed two to a room.
“We can’t keep him in this part of the castle,” Cienna commented as she walked briskly along. “Like I said, we need the servants out of the way. The safest place will be near our quarters, Joe and Jessamine.”
I was thrilled when the princess referred to her private chambers as “ours,” because I still hadn’t quite gotten used to the fact I was now married to not one, but two incredible women.
“So, I hear a lot’s been going on with you, my darling Cienna,” her fairy godmother mused, and I realized she’d also picked up on the blonde’s comment. “Care to discuss?”
“You know you’re going to find out later,” Cienna replied, and I could see her face was a little red.
“What does that mean?” Jessamine chirped.
“J-Just wait and see, okay?” Cienna said as we proceeded through the halls, and I couldn’t wait to see what further adventures the day was going to hold.
Our small party turned one final corner, and Cienna seemed to have reached the room she wanted. She swung open the door and gestured that the rest of us should enter. The chamber was small but still fancy, and heavy red drapes lined floor-to-ceiling arched windows and matched the plush, patterned rug.
“Should I just put… him… on the bed?” I asked as I gestured to the sack.
“Yes.” Fiona nodded. “I know what spell I want to do.”
I laid the leather bag down onto the bed, and the fairy godmother raised her wand.
When she opened her mouth to cast her spell, a series of words in a strange language tumbled off her tongue. Somehow, the syllables sounded like b
irds chirping and waves crashing all at once, and the hairs on my arm stood on end.
General Grigsby’s original form then appeared on top of the blankets. The man was still hogtied, but he remained motionless.
“Should we untie him?” Jessamine asked, but she sounded doubtful.
“Yes, it should be okay,” Fiona replied. “He’s still under the paralysis spell from earlier.”
Cienna gingerly reached out to untie the general’s hands and feet, and, like her fairy godmother had promised, the man didn’t move. So, the blonde gently manipulated his body back into a normal, lying position, and closed his eyes. He now almost looked like nothing more than an ordinary sleeping man, and I could even see a little kindness in his face.
“Now, to bind him!” the fairy godmother instructed. She pointed her wand at the bed, and thick green vines began to curl up through the blankets and entwine themselves around General Grigsby’s arms and legs. The leafy vines twirled around his limbs and pinned him down, and when he was completely imprisoned by the creeping foliage, the strawberry blonde sat back to admire her work. “What do you think?”
“Um, that’s not obvious at all,” Cienna remarked, and while the effect had been pretty cool, it wasn’t exactly subtle. “We’re trying to hide a general, not grow a forest.”
“Cienna!” Fiona laughed, and I could tell she and the blonde princess were used to exchanging jabs. “Fine! I know what I can do. There’s a type of magical coma I can put him into that will last way longer than the paralysis spell. When someone looks at him, it will even look like he’s breathing and moving around, but he won’t wake up. He won’t need to eat or drink, either, but he’ll be just fine.”
The fairy godmother cast her spell, and the man slowly began to stir. I placed my hand on Genie’s Wrath, and I could tell Jessamine was on guard as well.
“No, it’s okay,” Cienna assured us as she nodded toward the bed. “Watch.”
“Hey!” Fiona shouted into the general’s face, but his eyes didn’t open. Then she roughly reached out to shake his shoulder, but the man didn’t stir.
“Hmmm,” I said and rubbed my chin. “There’s just one more thing.”
“What’s that, Joe?” Jessamine looked up at me and blinked her deep brown eyes.
“What if the servants still come in here?” I asked. “Aren’t they going to be mystified to see General Grigsby passed out on the bed?”
“We don’t have to worry about that.” Fiona shrugged. “I can put a confusion spell on the door to the room. If someone does happen to pay attention to the door, the spell will quickly take effect, and they’ll just kind of… wander off.”
“Alright, I feel better.” Cienna smiled and put her hands to her chest in relief, but it was short lived. “But I don’t know what this means for our kingdom. What if there are more soldiers like this lurking around the castle?”
“Let’s go back to your chambers, Cienna,” Fiona replied. “We can talk more there. I think I have some more ideas to help protect our people.”
“Why am I not surprised you want to come to my chambers?” the blonde replied with a grin. “Typical Fiona… ”
With one final look at the transformed General Grigsby, the four of us slowly made our way out of the room, barred the door behind us, and headed back out into the corridor. Then Fiona mumbled another set of mysterious words to cast the spell on the door, and we were on our way.
I wondered what exactly Cienna meant by “Typical Fiona,” as I positioned myself behind the women to follow them down the hall. Fiona’s hips swayed back and forth as she strode confidently across the marble floor on her heels, and my wives’ asses weren’t too hard on the eyes, either.
As if she could feel me watching her walk, the fairy turned around and gave me a quick smile before she turned back around to continue her conversation with the princesses.
It was only a short walk back to the bedchambers the princesses and I had been sharing, and we all collapsed on the luxe couches and lounges that sat around the room.
“Should we get some wine?” Fiona asked the rest of us.
“Yes, let’s get some wine,” Cienna agreed, and she looked beautiful and flushed from the morning’s exertion as she laid back on a richly embroidered sofa. “Why the hell not? And who wants to eat? I think it is brunch time now.”
“I’m in,” Jessamine replied and bounced in her seat. “This will be fun. I don’t want to think about possessed soldiers for the rest of the day.”
Cienna rang a bell to summon her servants, and we made small talk while we waited for the food and drinks to come. Soon, a black-jacketed man arrived with a crystal carafe filled with a chilled, bubbly, rose-colored wine that could have been champagne. An assortment of colorful fruit juices went alongside the wine, and a large plate of fruit and chocolate accompanied a huge dish of pastries filled with cherries, apples, and sweet cheese. There were juicy sausages that shared a plate with the biggest pile of bacon I’d ever seen and a pie that looked like a quiche filled with vegetables.
After the servant placed the tray onto an ornately-carved, mahogany table, he swiftly left the room, and the four of us were alone again.
I had to say castle life was even better than getting room service in the fanciest hotel I’d ever been to.
“This is the life,” I mumbled as I shoved a strawberry into my mouth.
“But Joe, we can’t forget about the general.” Cienna wrung her hands. “That was pretty bad today. I hate to think of what this means for the rest of the soldiers and the kingdom as a whole.”
“Don’t worry,” her fairy godmother reassured her. “My magic is very strong, and I can do a lot to help protect the kingdom right now. And I can tell your powers have gotten stronger, as well.”
“If your magic is so strong,” I spoke up, “why haven’t you helped before?”
“Joe!” Cienna gasped as her blue eyes went wide.
“What?” I shrugged. “It’s an honest question.”
“That it is,” Fiona laughed. “Well, Joe, I’ll have you know Chernabog’s reach has grown substantially in the last few years. I’ve been travelling to different parts of the world, trying to thwart him where I can, but I have a soft spot for Cienna, so when she called, I came.”
“And you didn’t call for her when you were trapped in that tent?” I arched an eyebrow as I turned to my blonde wife.
“I would have if you didn’t arrive, Joe.” Cienna smiled.
“Yes, but I think it worked out for the better, no?” Fiona winked. “Now, Fairyland has a hero and a growing number of princesses to aid in the war against Chernabog.”
“Thanks, Fiona,” Cienna sighed. “I’ve been working on my powers, too, as you said. Well, especially since I bonded with Joe… ”
The blonde trailed off, and I suspected she hadn’t told her godmother the big news yet.
“Well, well, well!” Fiona said with sparkling eyes. “So, you’ve bonded with the hero now? And how are you doing, Joe? Feeling good?”
The gorgeous strawberry blonde twirled a strand of hair around her finger and gazed over at me, and a chill went up my spine.
“Well, life’s pretty great, I have to say,” I said and grinned. “I have the two best wives in the world, and I’m here in this beautiful castle. What could be better than this?”
If only my friends back in Los Angeles could see me now.
“Joe’s the best husband,” Jessamine gushed, and she smiled in my direction as she nibbled on a square of chocolate. “He’s the bravest hero, and he’s going to bring Chernabog down once and for all, I know it.”
“Ah, yes,” Fiona hummed. “If you’re the hero who’s going to fight the evil demon, I can definitely make your powers stronger through a special ritual, Joe… and I know this seems like an odd request, but we would need to bathe together first to purify one another. With your wives’ permission, of course.”
The strawberry-blonde turned to Jessamine and Cienna, who looked at each other
before they nodded their agreement.
“Yes, Fiona, you know I know I trust you… even with my husband.” Cienna winked at her fairy godmother.
“I’m glad, because this is going to be beneficial for everyone, maybe even me.” Fiona shot me a mischievous grin. “Now, please excuse me for a moment. I need to go prepare for the beginning of the rites.”
The tall beauty stood and made her way to Cienna’s private bath, and the three of us all watched her leave. Once she was out of earshot, Cienna drained a goblet of wine and began to speak.
“So, what do you think of Fiona, Joe?” the blonde asked with a sly smile on her face. “She’s beautiful, isn’t she?”
“W-Well, she isn’t too bad to look at, I guess,” I stuttered, since I wasn’t entirely sure what the rules were when talking about other women with my wives.
“I think she likes you!” Jessamine giggled as she leaned forward onto her knees with a mischievous twinkle in her eyes. “Do you like her?”
“U-um, well… I guess I’m not really sure what you mean by that--”
“Joe!” Fiona’s voice suddenly called out from the other room. “Hero! Can you come in here now?”
“Here we go,” Cienna muttered, but she still had a smile on her face.
“Are you sure you’re okay with this, both of you?” I really didn’t want to do anything to disturb my new marriages.
I looked over at Jessamine, and she nodded.
“I am, Joe,” Cienna reassured me. “You know I can be a little sarcastic, but I promise I’m fine with everything. We need to become more powerful, and Fiona will certainly help us.”
My blonde wife stood up, pulled me up from my seat, and kissed me on the cheek. Then she led me over to the door of the bath, but I still wasn’t sure what I was getting myself into.
“Fiona?” I asked as I knocked quietly. “A-Are you ready for me?”
“Would you mind coming in?” she replied. “The door should be open.”
I pushed the door open, and the room was full of steam from the huge, sunken tub in the floor, which was big enough for twenty people.
