by Amber Stokes
“I understand,” Seth agreed.
His words seemed to give Jack some relief, and the man inclined his head to Seth before heading down the street, away from the bakery. Seth dragged the toe of his boot through the dirt, hearing the unspoken words, It’s too late, echoing around his aching mind.
***
Rufus O’Daniel tugged his hat down low over his face, simultaneously hating the poor quality of clothes he was forced to wear in order to “blend in” and also feeling like they somehow suited him now. He’d become a common criminal, if murder could ever be “common.” Somehow, it all felt so different than the killings he had done in the War Between the States. He shuddered in the chill of the foggy day. He couldn’t allow himself to think too long on it.
He only had a few moments to observe Sally through the windows of the bakery, for he doubted those fellows who had just been with her would be gone long. No one left Sally’s side for long. Her vulnerability, her sass, her charm – it all kept drawing him back. What was he lacking, that Sally wasn’t drawn to him? Well, before murder stood like a barrier between them…
He put a hand to the cold glass. Now she was safe behind the pretty door with “Mended Heart” painted across the sign hanging above it, and he was outside wandering like a brave but stupid fool, where she and her companions could rightly shoot him down.
He almost wished for it. Someone as easily distracted by a skirt as he was, as directionless and pathetic as he was, deserved to be shot down like the lowly volunteer he was in this war he had waged.
And yet an O’Daniel never gave up a fight, no matter how far the war went. Single-minded, dedicated, fearless – that was how he had been known among his fellow Confederates. He couldn’t forget that. The memory of his former glory, the reality of the prosperity he had found – that was what defined him. Certainly not gutlessness, nor being bested by a prostitute who didn’t realize how much he had to offer.
His head pounded as he continued to watch her work. It was early enough that most of those in town were just now getting up and about, too busy with their own schedules to notice his presence as he stood frozen to the patch of dirt outside her little shop. He didn’t have much time to lollygag, and a part of his throbbing mind recognized that he was being ridiculous.
She looked up from where she had finished placing some sort of dough into the oven, and her gaze met his. Even though he couldn’t hear it, he could see that she gasped, her startled eyes filling with fear and disbelief.
When had he become the kind of man that women feared, rather than the one they flocked toward?
He didn’t shake his head or put a hand to his temple as he wanted to. He simply kept watching her for a moment, taking in her golden hair and the healthy rose-color in her cheeks.
Let her know he was here. Let them all know that Rufus O’Daniel was a man of ambition, of perseverance. If he gave up on this, on what he had wanted so badly for so long, he wouldn’t know who he was anymore.
With a nod in Sally’s direction, he pushed off the window and ambled away, confidence and determination holding his shoulders back, though his head hung forward.
Chapter 21
When the bell above the door to the Mended Heart rang several minutes after Rufus disappeared, Sally whirled toward the sound, dropping the plate she had just finished piling with cookies. The crash reverberated through the small place, bringing her back to the Bucket of Blood and the cut on Rufus’s face from where she had hit him with the glass.
“Sally? Are you all right?” Seth looked at her as if she were an abused dog, ready to bite at anyone who came too close.
Shaking her thoughts away, or at least trying her best to do so, she knelt on the floor, gathering the ruined treats and pieces of broken plate into her hands. When she didn’t hear anything more from Seth, she glanced up. He stared at the floor, his expression even more serious than usual, as if he were concentrating deeply. Maybe remembering the same scene she had been?
Wanting to spare them both the discomfort, she tried to bring him back to the present. “I’m sorry. You…you just startled me.”
It took a few more moments of downcast eyes and hands carefully gathering the mess into a pile before Seth moved into the shop, going to get the broom in their little supply room in the back.
“I’m sorry to have startled you. I hope you don’t have this reaction every time someone comes into the shop, or we won’t have many customers.” His tone was a mixture of humor and wariness, but his gaze was all concern.
She couldn’t tell him about Rufus. He would tell Myghal, and then they might do something drastic. Like sell the shop and their sweet little home. Despite the difficulty of seeing Jack here, she didn’t want to leave. She refused to let Rufus O’Daniel keep on taking the things that she loved.
And what about the people I love?
She swallowed, hearing Rufus’s voice bellowing at her to come out of the ranch house, seeing Joe crumple to the porch. Dead.
A shiver coursed through her. There was no stopping the tight ball of fear and worry from tumbling out of her. “What do you think of closin’ the shop for a few days?” The question slipped out like yolk from a cracked egg.
“What? Why would you want to do that?”
Seth finished sweeping and cleaning the mess, while Sally went to the washbasin to clean her hands. How could she convince him to leave? Maybe they could confuse Rufus as to their whereabouts. At the very least, the situation would be easier to face with a plan.
She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and then rubbed it between her fingers. “It’s been a while since I’ve seen Mr. Taylor. You and Myghal get to see him all the time, but I’d like to visit with him again. And…” She scrambled for another reason. “Well, wouldn’t it be nice to have a break? We could go to Eureka, maybe spend an afternoon by the bay or somethin’, and then go to Falk. Myghal could bring me back on Sunday.” The words were coming fast and desperate. “I could use some time away after seeing… Well…”
She would let Seth come to his own conclusions. Seeing both Jack and Rufus was enough to make her heart quake, her hands tremble, and her eyes fill with tears.
Seth came over to wash his hands, and Sally moved only enough for him to stand in front of the basin. He was so near, and in that moment, so somber. She had seen him change so much for the better in these past few months. What if she became the cause for his smile to disappear forever?
Reaching out a tentative hand, she touched his arm below his rolled-up sleeve, surprised at how cold his skin felt. He turned to her, and she felt a tear slip down her cheek. “Please, Seth…”
He watched the tear’s journey as it slowly fell down her face before reaching out to brush it away with his thumb. “All right.”
Oh, how she hoped they would all be “all right” again…
***
“How is she doing?”
Myghal pondered Taylor’s question as he leaned against the work table in the main cookhouse. What was the true answer? Perhaps only the Good Lord and Sally knew that.
He tossed a potato from hand to hand. “Better, I think. The work at the bakery has been good fer her, an’ she seems happier than I’ve ever seen ‘er.”
Except for the first time she had seen the ocean, when they had played in the waves like carefree children. Or when they had come across the field of lupines, and her eyes had lit with wonder and pleasure. But those memories were tucked tightly away, to be relived when only he and God could experience and cherish them.
“Good.” Taylor nodded. Hefting a knife, he began to peel the bowl of potatoes. “You ought to bring her sometime, maybe to one of the Saturday night dances.”
Before Myghal could protest or agree – he wasn’t sure which he wanted to do – a voice replied, “No need. Seth brought me.”
He quickly pushed off the table and turned to find Sally and Seth standing in the entrance to the kitchen. “What happened?”
Why were they here? Was Sally al
l right? Who was watching the bakery? The questions swirled through his mind like storm-churned waves of the Pacific.
Sally smiled, although it seemed strained. “Everything’s fine. We just decided to close the bakery for a few days and visit you two.” She swung her pretty blue gaze to Taylor. “It’s been a while since I’ve been able to annoy Mr. Taylor and mess up his kitchen.”
“True,” Taylor agreed, never pausing from his task, although he allowed a long-suffering grin to appear on his face.
Sally sidled up next to Taylor, her smile growing as she snatched up a potato and a knife. “I might as well get started causing as much damage as I can.”
Myghal looked to Seth, who still stood in front of the door. Seth inclined his head, subtly suggesting they leave – hopefully in order to talk about the reasons for this unexpected visit.
Following Seth out the door, he took one last look at Sally, who was laughing at something Taylor had mumbled, appearing more relaxed and happy. He smiled, pleased to see her at home in Taylor’s domain. Maybe everything really was fine.
They left the cookhouse, and Seth shot him a glance. “Why aren’t you at the mill?”
“It was my turn to give Taylor a hand with the cleanup. I’ll be headin’ out soon, so be quick about tellin’ me why ye and Sally are here.”
“It was her idea.”
“Does it have anythin’ to do with Jack?” It had to be him, since their weeks at the bakery were usually considered a relief from their labor at the lumber camp, and Seth wouldn’t be eager to leave.
Seth nodded as he leaned back on the outer wall of the cookhouse. “He came back to the bakery a couple of days ago, wanting to talk to Sally. I talked with him instead. Told him what happened when they parted ways in Virginia City. He wants to give her some money.”
“Money? Is the man daft?” Myghal wasn’t given to impulsive acts of violence, but he sorely wanted to show Jack what he thought of his offer.
“I know. That’s how I felt, too. But it really should be her decision, not ours.”
“Is that why she wanted away? Because of what he told ye?”
“No, I haven’t even told her yet.”
“Then, why?”
Seth shrugged, his eyes shadowed. “Maybe just the shock of seeing him again?”
Myghal looked to the wooded hills behind the cookhouse. Despite the hard work that awaited him in this place, he could understand why Sally wanted to come. The forest felt like a shelter, a pocket of solitude compared to the open spaces of the desert in Nevada – even compared to the open farmland around Ferndale.
“There’s something else, though,” Seth quietly added.
Myghal brought his gaze down to Seth, raising his eyebrows in surprise.
“When I came back from talking with Jack, she jumped when I came through the door. Dropped the plate she was holding and looked as startled as a wild horse in the sights of a mountain lion.”
“Perhaps she was afraid ye were him?”
Seth shook his head. “It was strange. She seemed really scared, more than a ghost from her past should warrant. I don’t know – it just didn’t seem to fit. She wasn’t sad or upset. She was afraid, although she tried to hide it, and that was when she suggested coming to Falk for a few days.”
“Maybe all o’ the work, and seein’ Jack again…maybe she jest needed a break.”
“Maybe,” Seth agreed.
But the look they shared suggested that both of them were going to keep a watchful eye on Sally.
***
Sally shone when she danced. She spun around with a glowing smile, laughing at her missteps and at the words the woodsmen spoke to her. Seeing her open up made Seth want to laugh, too.
He wondered if his brother had seen her dance in this very same place. Was that when Joe had fallen in love with her? When he had decided that he would marry her?
Woodsmen crowded the dance hall. Scattered among them were a few wives and the other workers who made the lumber camp into its own little town. The atmosphere was freeing, thrilling. Myghal was playing a boot-stomping tune on his fiddle, a permanent grin on his face. His red hair whipped about in his skilled frenzy, and some pieces stuck to his sweat-soaked forehead. Seth smiled at the man’s obvious joy.
As the song came to an end, Seth suddenly wanted to be a part of it all. It was entertaining to watch everyone else having fun, but how would it feel to actually be involved in the movement and excitement?
Pushing his way through the milling dancers who were waiting for the next song to begin, he found Sally thanking her previous dance partner. She scanned the room, probably looking for the next in line from her admirers. For a moment, he hesitated, wondering how horrible it would feel if she declined his offer to dance.
Before he could weigh the risk, Sally’s gaze alighted on him, and she whisked across the floor toward him. Her smile was so bright, he couldn’t help but laugh.
“What? Do you find me amusing?” Her tone was accusing, but she didn’t stop smiling as she pulled him to the area where two lines were forming. “It’s the Virginia Reel – you’ll love this!” She practically pushed him into the men’s line as she took her own place across from him.
The women’s line consisted of several men, as there weren’t enough women to go around. Seth considered himself lucky to have Sally as his partner, especially as he watched her clap her hands and bounce on her feet in enthusiasm. She was a different person on the dance floor. But then, she was a different person anywhere now than she had been in Virginia City, despite the encounters with Jack.
Seth followed the men’s line and Sally’s instructions, content to let her correct him with her cheerful laugh when he tried to pass her by the left shoulder instead of the right. As the dance progressed, he felt warmth spread through his limbs – not just from the exercise, but from the embrace of joy. Naomi would have wanted him to trust in God, to be grateful for the place and the life that he had found.
Seth had only seen Naomi dance once. He had come across her in the barn when no one else was around. When he saw what she was doing, he hid in the shadows by the entrance before she could spot him, enchanted by his wife’s movements and the carefree happiness on her face. She sang a song in Hebrew, swaying and spinning from stall to stall as she fed the horses and swept up the loose hay. Her long, dark braid had started to come undone, and she looked more alive and beautiful than anything he could remember seeing.
Now he wished he could relive that moment. He would step out of the shadows and dance with her, instead of heading back to the house to fix whatever it was he’d been working on. Nothing could have needed more attention in that time than his precious wife.
“It’s our turn, Seth.”
Sally’s exuberant voice brought him out of his meandering thoughts. Unsure what she meant, he startled when she grabbed both of his hands and started sashaying with him down the space between the men’s line and the women’s. When he looked up into her eyes and saw her brilliant smile, he smiled right back and took charge, skipping sideways in time to the stomping of the men’s boots. He even twirled her around when they got to the end of the lines, before they had to sashay back up.
He might have missed his chance once before, but he wouldn’t make that mistake now. The door to his heart stood wide open, and Sally was dancing him out of the shadows.
Chapter 22
Sunday evening came too soon. Sally and Myghal were almost to Ferndale, and she still hadn’t told him about seeing Rufus O’Daniel. Should she? Shouldn’t she? She kept swinging back and forth between the two options, just as she kept shifting in the rocking wagon, wondering whether silence or words would be best for them all.
“Somethin’ bothering ya, lass?” Myghal glanced at her out of the corner of his eye.
Before she could blurt out the worry weighing on her heart, he added, “Is it Jack? I know this must be hard for ye, seein’ him this way.”
Yes, she supposed it was, but not as hard as it had b
een that first time, in Oregon.
She picked at several loose threads in her dress, not sure how to respond. Would her silence or her words unravel all that they had established here? What if Rufus attacked Myghal or Seth? If they had to move again, it would be nothing compared to losing another person she loved to Rufus’s obsession.
“Myghal, there’s something I have to tell you.” She noticed his fingers curl a little tighter around the reins, but she pushed on. “I saw Rufus – Mr. O’Daniel – last week. A couple of days before Seth and I arrived at Falk.”
“What?” He looked at her then, his brown eyes fastened on her face. “Are ye sure it was him?”
She wished she wasn’t, but there was no mistaking Rufus O’Daniel, even if he had traded his fancy clothes for some common ones. His possessive gaze followed her even into her dreams. She lowered her gaze. “Yes, I’m sure.”
“Why didn’t ye tell me sooner? Seth and I could’ve discussed our choices, how best to defend one another. I’m sure Taylor would’ve helped us.”
Tears stung her eyes. She fumbled with her sleeve, attempting to pull out her handkerchief.
“Sally, lass, don’t cry.” He brushed a gloved hand gently across her cheek, then reached around to rub her shoulder.
“I-I know I should have…told you sooner. I just don’t want everythin’…to change.”
He was facing forward again, but Sally could see a wry grin lift the side of his mouth. “It would’ve changed sometime anyway, ya know, but it won’t go back to how it was for you in Virginia City. You don’t have to fear that.”
She did fear it, though. She didn’t want to be that person again – the one who destroyed her own life by making foolish decisions and wallowing in self-loathing and pity. That girl chased after a boy who didn’t want her and frustrated the husband who had ultimately been willing to sacrifice everything.
“What if these changes don’t last?” She started to sob, unable to hold back the revulsion she felt deep in her spirit at her own weakness, her own shame. Its power surprised her. Hadn’t she buried it with Joe’s body?
