“No more games, Audrey. Elijah informed me that your memories were unlocked when the wraith was extracted. I demand to know what you know.” Jacobs’ voice was pounding into me, forcing a flinch through my body. He was holding back his anger though. I knew when someone held back. It was in the way they held back the bite in their words.
I shifted. I didn’t want to remember those memories. I didn’t want to talk about them. I knew what the Vedenins had wanted. I remembered the moment I woke up. I had pushed them away. I pushed them all away. Jacobs wanted the same. He wanted to know more about my father. Keeping my eyes lowered and my stance vulnerable, I waited. It didn’t take long. Jacobs’ fist came down on the desk with a loud crash.
“Goddammit, speak. Do you know how much I risked coming for you?” Jacobs let his anger go, he was yelling now. I shrunk into myself, waiting for the blow.
“Jacobs.” Elijah spoke up. His voice only slightly more raised than normal. Jacobs ignored him.
“I am done tip-toeing around. I told you, Elijah to look into her mind while you were in there. I needed that information. Cain wants it now. I know she is hiding something. Either you will tell me or I will make her tell me. The Vedenin aren’t stupid, they know who took her and are attacking our smaller facilities looking for her. Somehow, the York Clan also found out about her. There is no way Cain wants the York Coan breathing down our necks as well. I will not put our clan in danger because of this girl.”
I hadn’t realized that Jacobs had been moving around the desk. He was in front of me. His polished, black shoes touching my barely covered feet. He grabbed my chin roughly and forced me to look into his eyes. I only saw pure determination and the need to protect in his glowing yellow eyes. The force of his emotions were too much. His grip was too tight. I tried to pull away but he held too tightly, too roughly. I had let out a whimper.
“Jacobs, I will only tell you once. Release her.” Elijah’s voice was the most demanding that I had ever heard from him.
“You don’t give me orders, Elijah. You may be a wraith, but I am still your superior, and this girl is going to tell me what I need to know. By any means.” Jacobs’ eyes shifted from me to look at Elijah. His hold of my jaw tightened, extracting a whimper out of me.
My stomach hollowed out and tears started to form before I could hold them back. One hell to another. This was worse. This was much worse. They had lied. All those touches. All those looks. All those kind words. Fake. Fake. Fake.
“Release her.”
I felt the air around me drop. I didn’t even see Elijah’s hand move, but I did feel the release of Jacobs’ hand from my face. I backed away as I watched Elijah take my former spot in front of Jacobs. “I do not repeat myself Jacobs. Do not touch her, again. I decide what I do. Not you.”
I wanted to run from the room but my body seemed to be frozen, forced to watch the scene in front of me unfold. Elijah had Jacobs on his knees just by his hold on his wrist. Elijah’s voice had changed, deepened, darkened to the point it was hardly recognizable. My breathing had turned erratic and I couldn’t seem to get my eyes to focus anymore. My heart was beating too fast. Pound-pound-pounding away. I lost the feeling in my legs and started to go down. Before I could meet the floor, Elijah was there catching me.
“Come.” He picked me up with ease and I made no movement of protest. I couldn’t focus enough to react to his hold. My mind kept on with its broken record. Fake, fake, fake. I craved the contact of another being. Fake, fake, fake. I craved the friendship. Fake, fake, fake. The comfort they offered. Fake, fake, fake. The most heartbreaking of all, the looks I refused to see. Fake. Fake. Fake.
Elijah placed me onto an unknown bed. The room was different shades of black. While white was the absence of color, black was all colors. It was slightly overwhelming, but only at first. Until I closed my eyes to the only darkness that was truly colorless.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Stone
“Find her,” Jacobs said, dismissing some of the guards.
I waited for them to leave. I wanted to know who he was talking about, and the sinking feeling in my gut told me all I needed to know.
“Are you coming in, Stone?” I rounded the corner into his office. Jacobs’s eyes were a deep yellow and his voice gruff.
“Maybe it would be a good time for you to go for a run, Jacobs.” I was only somewhat joking.
“Where the hell is she?” His Alpha voice rang out in those words, but I wasn’t going to back down. Shape-shifters didn’t listen to any Alpha and definitely not a werewolf Alpha without a pack.
“You are overstepping yourself, Jacobs. You’ve been keeping us in the dark, and we’re pretty damn sick of it.” I stood a couple inches taller than Jacobs. Looking down at the werewolf, and the wrinkles lining his skin, I thought he was getting too old for this job, but I could also see the fierce look in his eyes.
“Audrey’s location, Stone. I will tell you what you need to know when it’s time and not just because you are throwing around your weight and acting like an overgrown pup.” That did piss me off. My eyes flashed a bright red and I knew Jacobs saw that he had pushed me a little too far. I needed to find out exactly what the hell was going on and got into his space.
“Look mutt, I respected your decisions because I thought you had the best interests of the clan, but Audrey is now mine to protect. So, trust me when I say I will not listen to you unless it is in her best interest.” I had him by the front of his shirt, and it ripped under the strain of my grasp. His thick nails were bit into my skin, but I didn’t dare give up the eye contact we had. The first to look away submitted. I wasn’t submitting this time.
“Dad!” Dallas came between us, shoving me away. Dallas took a protective stance in front of his father, who fixed his shirt and composed himself.
“Back down, Dallas. Stone is letting his emotions get the best of him. Dallas, let the guards know that she is unstable and needs to be brought directly back to me.” Jacobs didn’t take his yellow eyes off of me. I knew that smirk he was giving me though. He thought he won this round. I swore to myself I would protect. Even against Jacobs.
I needed help though. Nixie wanted to protect Audrey too. Together, we could find her faster. Maybe even before Jacobs. I turned to walk out.
“Dallas, go with Stone.” Jacobs walked back to his desk. Dallas glanced at me, and then at his father.
“I don’t need a babysitter.” Dallas let out a low growl. I ignored it as I turned away and started out of the room. I heard Dallas mutter something to his father, then he followed me out of the door. I needed him away from me as I looked for Audrey, she would never believe that I was trying to keep her away from Jacobs if I had Dallas with me.
“Dallas can you sniff out Nixie and tell her to meet me back at her room. I will look for Audrey.”
When I looked at the hot-headed werewolf, instead of making some argument, he just nodded and headed the other way.
I had no idea where to look, but I was going to find her. I had to.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Audrey
“Audrey.” I turned away, I preferred to stare at the wall than at the open, empty space around me. More than ever, I missed my white walls with their colorless feelings.
Finally, I looked up at Elijah. He remained unwavering in his dispassionate state.
“Why are you helping me?” I didn’t back away from his black eyes.
“I do not know. For once, fear did not taste that sweet.” He looked away for only a second. “Stone is at the door. Would you prefer to be kept a secret or would you like to hear what he has to offer you?” Hearing Stone’s name made my heart pound a little harder, from fear or something else, I was not certain, but it had been a very long time since my heart pounded in fear. What would he offer? Would he tell me I needed to go back? I felt helpless and for some reason the idea of losing this place, that started to feel like home, felt like too much. Who did I truly belong to? I had no one to run to, no clan, and
I was no longer safe in the place that I thought would keep me safe.
“I suppose let him in.” There was a knock at the door as soon as I answered. Elijah disappeared and I heard grunts, sickening smacks, and finally heavy footfalls.
“Audrey.” Stone’s longer black hair looked totally disheveled and his eyes looked slightly wild. “I’ve been looking for you all night. Jacobs is demanding answers and we need to get you out of here.” Stone looked at the doorway and Elijah stood watching us.
“Elijah, I swear I will kill you if you try to stop me.”
“What is your decision, Audrey?” Elijah’s eyes met mine.
Stone had sounded frantic and slightly deranged, but he offered an out, while Jacobs offered more imprisonment. Something that I wasn’t sure I could survive again.
“I would very much like to be…free.”
“Then I shall help you.” Elijah moved past Stone who was standing with his mouth agape, and brows furrowed.
“Excuse me? You’re going to help us?” Stone moved a little closer to me, I didn’t think he even realized he had picked up my hand and now clutched it. It started to feel reassuring.
“Not you. I will help her. There are things you do not know about her. Things that I will not share with you. And she needs more protection than just you.” While Elijah spoke, Stone’s grip got tighter.
“Is that why Jacobs wanted to see her?” Stone growled.
“Calm yourself shape-shifter. Yes, but it is too dangerous to allow anyone to know her secrets, before she knows them herself.” Elijah moved around his room picking up seemingly random objects and placing them in a duffle bag.
“I would recommend you get an overnight bag. We may be gone for a while. Her memories will return at their own pace. I will not allow anyone to push her. Meet me in the garage. I will be waiting.” Elijah’s words were monotone and uncaring, but his eyes watched Stone for a reaction. I was too scared to look into Stone’s eyes and read what he might be feeling.
“She is mine to protect.” He held out a hand to me. I peeked up at him, his jaw was tight and his eyes were locked with Elijah’s. I slipped my hand into his. He nodded once and started to pull me from the room.
When we left Elijah’s room, he continued to drag me along the building, stopping every so often to listen or check around a wall. I remained quiet and tried to be as small as possible. When we arrived at his room, he pulled me in, but as soon as he shut the door, he pushed me against it. It wasn’t a rough move, but it scared me. He moved close so that our bodies were barely touching. His strong muscles tensed against my soft skin. He pressed his forehead to mine. I looked up at him.
“I thought…”
His eyes were shut tightly and his hand moved to tangle in my hair behind my neck. I don’t know why, but I couldn’t stop myself from bringing my hand up and smoothing the tight lines around his eyes.
He relaxed under my touch and opened his eyes. They were a stormy grey color that I had never seen before. His hand left my hair to touch my face. He ran his thumb across my lips.
“I…” He straightened suddenly. “I need to get some stuff then we will head down to Nixie’s.” He pushed off from the door and headed to his bedroom. I remained where I was, trembling.
Stone grabbed the things he needed while I waited on the couch. My heart still raced when he came out, his hair was shorter than before, his eyes were a calm grey now. My heart moved faster again.
Stone and I carefully made our way through the hallways and we made it to Nixie’s room without any problems. When we arrived though we heard shouting from inside.
Stone stopped me and listened for a moment.
“It’s Dallas.” He grabbed my arm and pulled me to the next corner. Within a few seconds the door opened and Nixie’s voice screamed out.
“You’re an asshole Dallas! Fuck you!”
Then the door slammed shut. We heard Dallas growl a few things under his breath as he headed in the other direction. Stone looked down at me with a smile.
“If Nixie hadn’t had him all riled up he would have scented us. Come on.” Stone grabbed my hand and I realized how okay I was with the contact now. He somehow made it bearable to be touched. To almost feel like I was safe.
“Nixie. Get a bag ready for yourself and for Audrey. I am not letting Jacobs have her.” Nixie came out of her room already holding two of her bags.
“What? Do you think I am stupid? Why do you think I was fighting with Dallas? I would have thrown his ass out of my room the moment he walked in here if I wasn’t trying to get more information from him. Hi, sweetie.” She rushed over to me and gave me one of her quick hugs, but quickly backed away knowing that I didn’t like to be touched that much. I think she understood that her attempt at comforting me might hurt me more in the end.
“Audrey, you need to tell us exactly what Jacobs said.” Stone turned to me. I told them what Jacobs had said. I knew his intentions. I saw the look in his eyes, he would be willing to do anything, go to any lengths.
“Nixie, did Dallas give you any information?”
“No the blowhole just came in here acting like he owned the place. Demanding this, demanding that. Blah, blah, blah. Said something about Audrey being unstable. Then I of course replied, ‘Well aren’t we all bit crazy?’ then he went all wolfy on me and started to growl. I threatened him with a newspaper to the nose.” Nixie was getting geared up to talk some more before Stone cleared his throat.
“Alright. Well, being that I know exactly what Jacobs will plan if he gets his hands on her, we need to move.”
“Let me grab one more bag.” Nixie disappeared back into her bedroom.
“I want you to know that I don’t agree with what Jacobs wants to do.” Stone was watching me. I could read the slight guilt in his eyes, the murky green swamp color, and the light red of being ashamed.
“Have you done this before? Tortured to get answers.”
“Never with someone who hasn’t deserved it.” His eyes were now a cold distant silver. “No one innocent.” He added.
“Not everyone is innocent.” I answered looking away from him.
“No I suppose not. But there are better people out there than me, and there are better people out there that I have tortured. And you are one of those people.” Stone started to move around in this kitchen space. I didn’t look at him.
“No. I really am not.” I whispered, thinking of everything that I had done. My biggest crime was leaving behind Aiden. He’d never forgive me. I would never forgive myself. I stared at my hands, while I waited for Stone. He appeared in front of me in his black jeans. I slowly looked up. His eyes were a beautiful shade of violet.
“You should not think so little of yourself. Your crimes may not be as horrible as you assume.” He pulled me up, his eyes drifted down to my lips. I felt the need to both move forward and away. We did neither, just stared at each other for a while longer. “You will be safe.”
I looked at Stone, his eyes had shifted to a light grey almost blue color. I could tell that he was calming down yet his hold on my hand hadn’t changed. It remained as tight as before, but not tight enough to hurt.
“Why would you do this for me?” I watched as Stone’s back tensed.
He didn’t turn toward me, though. “I already told you. No one innocent deserves to be tortured.”
“And who is to say that I am anymore innocent than the people you claim are deserving of being tortured?” It was the first time I felt fearless talking to him. To anyone. I wanted to understand completely why he believed this. I did not mean to challenge him, but when he turned to me, his eyes blazing red, I knew that I had.
“Would you look at me so differently if you knew that deep down I was as bad as the ones who tortured you? The one who put those scars on you? To think of me like them and find reasoning in your fear?”
“I want to know if they thought I was truly evil as well.” I whispered. I looked away from Stone. He moved closer and pushed my chin up so I
looked him in the eyes. Flecks of the stormy grey swam in their depths, telling me he was both angry and disappointed. I wasn’t sure who he was disappointed or angry with.
“You are not evil. You were not deserving of any of the torture that you got. You have done nothing wrong.” He moved closer to me. My eyes tighten with the threat of tears, so I shut them. His breath fanned my cheeks.
“All right I got the last bag!” Nixie announced. Stone looked at Nixie with both anger and annoyance.
“Five bags? Are you kidding?”
“A girl, paranormal or not, can never be too prepared. Actually, paranormal girls tend to be the most prepared.” She started to grab her bags, on the fifth one she looked up at Stone. “Well, get a move on catfish I can only carry so much.”
“Ever heard of being discreet?” Stone asked as he lifted the last bag off the ground.
“Ever heard of, I’m a siren and if we run into anyone I will just sing them away?” Nixie danced around him and pulled me up from the couch. “Come my little guppy, we are going on a vacation. Hopefully somewhere by a lake!”
Nixie headed for the door.
We only had a few incidents where Nixie walked right up to someone, stared into their eyes, and they simply walked away.
I was nervous at the exit doors thinking we’d be going outside. I hadn’t been outside in years. Instead we were inside another dark, stone, grey building. I tried to recall the name of the structure; it was on the tip of my tongue.
In the parking garage, Elijah waited with an undistinguished car. It was a black number with slightly tinted windows. Elijah said nothing as Nixie and I slipped in the back. Stone slammed the trunk and I jumped. I twisted, looking around feeling oddly exposed and trapped. Nixie tried to hum a tone near my ear, but I felt uncomfortable and uncertain.
I felt the stitching of the seats. I closed my eyes. I touched the stitching again. One. Two. Three.
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