The One That I Want

by Lynne Shelby

  ‘Good morning, Lucy.’

  At the sound of my name, I swung around and found myself face to face with Eleanor Haye, my new boss.

  ‘Oh, hello, Eleanor,’ I said. ‘I was just…’

  ‘Going inside, I hope.’

  ‘Yes, of course,’ I said, following Eleanor through the revolving doors that led into a brightly-lit reception area. A girl of about my age, sitting behind a desk, looked up from the magazine she was reading and smiled.

  ‘This is Lucy, who is starting at Reardon Haye today,’ Eleanor announced as she headed towards the lift that would carry us up to the third floor. ‘Lucy – Ruby, our building’s receptionist.’

  I just had time to mutter a quick ‘Hi’ to Ruby before hurrying after Eleanor, who was already stepping into the lift.

  Once the lift doors had closed, Eleanor took her mobile out of her bag and began scrolling through her messages. I decided that now was not the time to try and impress her with my sparkling conversation. Instead, I studied her surreptitiously. In her late-thirties, a little taller than my five foot five, slim and elegant in a linen dress, with a scarf knotted loosely about her neck, her dark hair carelessly tousled, she looked every inch a professional. I was very glad that I’d accepted Cassie’s offer to lend me a designer shirt and black cropped trousers to wear on my first day at work. The lift shuddered to a halt, and Eleanor strode across the landing and into Reardon Haye’s offices, with me scurrying in her wake.

  When she’d interviewed me the previous week, it had been late in the day, and everyone else who worked at the agency had already left for home. Now, I saw that two of the three desks in the large, open-plan outer office were occupied, one by a girl tapping away at a keyboard, and the other by a boy speaking animatedly into a phone.

  ‘Good morning all,’ Eleanor said to the room at large.

  ‘Morning Eleanor,’ the girl replied.

  The boy raised a hand in welcome.

  ‘I’d like to introduce you to Lucy Ashford,’ Eleanor said, when the boy had ended his call, ‘the newest member of our team. Lucy, meet Adrian Barry and Maria Coleman.’

  There was the usual exchange of greetings and pleasantries.

  ‘For today,’ Eleanor said to me, ‘you can shadow Maria so she can show you what we do. Now, I have to make some calls…’ She vanished into her own office, leaving me with my new co-workers.

  ‘No need to look so terrified,’ Adrian said. ‘We don’t bite.’ He was older than I’d first thought, about thirty, a thin guy with sand-coloured hair, stubble that had almost made up its mind to be a beard, and glasses. He got up and wheeled a chair from my desk to Maria’s. I smiled my thanks and sat down.

  ‘Who were you with before Reardon Haye?’ Maria asked. She was just a couple of years older than me, in her mid-twenties, and her shoulder length hair was dyed an intense black. She was wearing a short purple dress and a lot of eyeliner.

  ‘I’ve not worked in a theatrical agency before,’ I said.

  ‘You’ve never worked in an agency?’ Maria repeated. ‘Then you’re in for an interesting time.’

  ‘Not to worry,’ Adrian said. ‘If you survive your first month, you’ll be fine.’

  ‘Don’t take any notice of him,’ Maria said, just as her desk phone started ringing.

  ‘Let the madness begin,’ Adrian said.

  For the rest of the morning I sat with Maria while she took call after call from directors and producers looking to cast anything from feature films to radio plays to TV adverts. What were called ‘breakdowns’ of roles also flooded into the office by email, and it was Maria and Adrian’s job (and now mine) to put forward the actors on our books who were suitable for the part.

  ‘Casting directors will only audition a certain number of actors for each role,’ Maria said to me. ‘We have to persuade them that it’s our clients that they really need to see.’

  ‘Luckily,’ Eleanor said, appearing in the outer office clutching a sheet of paper, ‘I can be very persuasive.’ She handed the paper to me. ‘Lucy, I’d like you to phone everyone on this list. Let them know they have an audition at the BBC tomorrow. I’ve written down all the details.’

  ‘I’ll do that, Eleanor.’ I got to my feet and pushed my chair back to my own desk.

  ‘And Lucy,’ Eleanor said, ‘make sure you tell them they’re auditioning for a gritty crime series set in Newcastle. We don’t want anyone talking like a luvvie.’

  Eleanor went back into her office, leaving the door open this time. Adrian showed me how to access the actors’ contact details on my computer.

  ‘Hi, my name is Lucy Ashford and I’m calling from Reardon Haye,’ I said to the first name on my list. ‘We’ve got you an audition tomorrow...’

  The middle-aged actor, best known for playing an aristocratic landowner in a historical drama, listened to me rattle off the time and place of his audition.

  ‘That’s fabulous, darling,’ he drawled. ‘Always a pleasure to audition for the Beeb.’

  ‘The character you’d be playing is from Newcastle,’ I said quickly. ‘You need to do the audition in a Geordie accent.’

  ‘Alreet, pet,’ the actor said. ‘Divvint worry, I can dee that. Ye have a canny day.’

  I decided that I was going to like working with actors.

  By lunchtime, I’d rung most of the male actors on my list and had started on the actresses. I was also starving. When Maria and Adrian began discussing who was going to make the daily run to the nearest sandwich bar, I was glad to volunteer.

  Maria grinned. ‘I do like having a new girl in the agency. The new ones are always so keen to make a good impression.’

  ‘Yeah, we should make the most of it,’ Adrian said, handing me the money for a ciabatta. ‘After a month they won’t even make you a coffee. If they last that long.’

  The sandwich bar was only a couple of hundred yards down the road, and I wasn’t gone for more than fifteen minutes, but when I returned to Reardon Haye, the door to Eleanor’s office was firmly closed again.

  ‘Should I take this in to her?’ I said to Maria, holding up the paper bag containing Eleanor’s lunch order.

  ‘Absolutely not,’ Adrian said. ‘If Eleanor closes her office door, it means that unless one of our clients has won an Oscar, she’s not to be disturbed.’

  ‘You sit down and eat your lunch, Lucy,’ Maria said. ‘Just keep watching that door.’

  ‘OK,’ I said, uncertainly.

  Half an hour later, Eleanor’s office door swung open, and Daniel Miller came out (yes, that Daniel Miller). What with… everything that had happened to me, I’d not seen Fallen Angel, the summer blockbuster that had made him a star, but as his photo was all over the internet (and on advertising hoardings all over London), I recognised him instantly.

  He’s beautiful, I thought.

  Daniel was tall, just over six feet, and impossibly handsome, with those chiselled cheekbones that always look so good on screen, a full, sensual mouth, and a square jaw. His face was framed by lustrous waves of dark-brown hair that cried out for a girl to run her fingers through it. For the first time in a long while, I felt a delicious fluttering low in my stomach – he was simply the most attractive man I’d ever seen.

  ‘You must be Eleanor’s new recruit,’ he said, walking up to my desk and leaning across to shake my hand. ‘I’m Daniel Miller.’

  Somehow, I managed to ignore the effect Daniel’s warm, brown, gold-flecked eyes and honeyed voice were having on my unruly insides, and give him a firm handshake.

  ‘Lucy Ashford.’ I took back my hand, which was tingling from his touch.

  He smiled at me and then at Maria and Adrian. ‘Well, I’ll say goodbye for now.’

  ‘See you soon, Daniel,’ Maria said.

  ‘Bye,’ Adrian said, apparently unconcerned whether he saw Daniel sooner or later.

  Daniel sauntered out of the office which gave me the opportunity of checking out his denim-clad rear. My stomach lurched. His jeans were very
tight.

  ‘He is so hot.’ Maria picked up an actor’s headshot from her desk and fanned her face. ‘And that’s my expert opinion as a theatrical agent.’

  ‘What do you think, Lucy?’ Adrian said. ‘Do you agree with Maria that Daniel Miller is God’s gift to womankind?’

  ‘He’s certainly very good-looking,’ I said. ‘I expect most women would find him attractive.’

  ‘Particularly actresses, models and TV presenters,’ Adrian said, ‘according to the tabloids.’

  ‘He’s irresistible,’ Maria said. ‘He has the lust gene.’

  ‘The what?’ I said.

  ‘The lust gene. If you’re born with the lust gene, you only have to walk into a room and everyone starts salivating.’

  ‘More importantly,’ Eleanor said, coming out of her office, ‘he can act and the camera loves him. As I keep telling him, if he chooses the right projects, there’s every chance he’ll have a highly successful career.’ She turned to me and held out a sealed envelope addressed to a television production company. ‘This is a copy of Daniel Miller’s signed contract for a TV mini-series. It’s only a few weeks filming, so he’ll be able to fit it in before Fallen Angel II, which starts shooting early next year. If you run it down to reception now and hand it to Ruby, she’ll make sure it catches the post.’

  I took the envelope.

  ‘This is the best part of being a theatrical agent,’ Eleanor continued. ‘Sharing our client’s success, and knowing that we helped to make it happen.’

  ‘And the worst part is when one of our actors gets right down to the final cut for their dream role, and then they don’t get cast,’ Adrian said.

  ‘When that happens,’ Eleanor said, ‘they need us to hold their hands.’ Her phone rang, and she went back into her office to answer it, taking her baguette with her.

  ‘I agree about the handholding,’ Maria said. ‘Most actors come across as supremely self-confident, but underneath a lot of them are very insecure.’

  ‘We call them clients,’ Adrian said, ‘but our relationship is more of a partnership. We’re not just their agent, we’re their confidante, their guru...’

  ‘Their cheerleader,’ Maria said.

  ‘Their therapist.’

  ‘Their friend?’ I said.

  ‘I don’t know about friend,’ Maria said. ‘Let’s not get carried away.’

  I remembered that I needed to get Daniel Miller’s contract in the post. I had a feeling that Eleanor didn’t expect to tell her employees to do something more than once.

  ‘I should take this downstairs,’ I said, flourishing the envelope.

  As I left the office, I heard Adrian say to Maria, ‘Do I have the lust gene?’

  ‘You’re a lovely guy, Adrian,’ Maria answered. ‘But no, the lust gene isn’t in your DNA. Sorry.’

  I took the lift down to reception and handed Daniel Miller’s contract to Ruby.

  ‘Well, you certainly chose the right moment to start at Reardon Haye,’ she said to me.

  ‘I did?’

  ‘It’s not every day that the Fallen Angel himself drops by the offices,’ Ruby said. ‘Unfortunately.’ She gestured towards the magazine she’d been reading, and I saw that it had a picture of Daniel Miller on the cover. ‘That bad boy sure is easy on the eye.’

  I laughed. ‘I guess my new job does have its advantages.’

  Back in the lift, travelling up to the third floor, I relived the moment when Daniel Miller had reached across my desk and taken my hand in his. I wondered if Fallen Angel was still showing in London, or if I’d have to wait for the DVD to come out before I could see it. I really ought to see Daniel’s film. It was surely part of my job to take an interest in his work. I could have seen Fallen Angel a dozen times by now if I hadn’t wasted the summer crying a river over Lawrence.

  Lawrence. Instead of the familiar wave of misery that broke over me whenever I thought of him, suddenly I felt… nothing. It occurred to me that I hadn’t thought about him in weeks. I stood in the lift, and said his name aloud. ‘Professor Lawrence Elliot.’ Still, nothing. No pain, no anger… just indifference. I’d loved him once, and then I’d despised him, but now… Now I had no feelings left for him at all.

  The lift opened and shut again. Quickly, I pressed the button to re-open the doors before I was carried back down to the ground floor, and stepped out onto the landing. I took a deep breath. I was twenty-three, I was living in London, and I had a job I was pretty sure I was going to like. And I was over Lawrence. I squared my shoulders, and went back into the agency.

  That evening, I leapt up the front steps of Cassie’s white stuccoed, three-storey house two at a time. Pausing only to re-set the burglar alarm, I ran across the hallway, with its original black and white Victorian tiles, and flung open the door to the large, airy reception room that took up half the ground floor. The room was empty, but the French windows that led onto the terrace were open, the white voile curtains stirring in a faint breeze, so I went outside. Except for the sound of birdsong, the garden was silent and still. I smelt new-mown grass and the heavy scent of full-blown roses. Cassie was lying on a lounger, under an umbrella on the lawn, one arm behind her head, her hair shining like burnished gold in the early evening light. For a moment, I thought she was asleep, but then she sat up and took off her sunglasses.

  ‘Lucy!’ she said. ‘How was your first day at work?’

  ‘It was great.’ I sat down on the sun-lounger next to hers. ‘I honestly don’t think it could have gone any better.’

  ‘Tell me everything.’

  I described to her the events of my first day as a theatrical agent, up to the point when Daniel Miller had strolled out of Eleanor’s office.

  ‘I’ve never met him,’ Cassie said, ‘but when I saw Fallen Angel, I thought he had tremendous screen presence. He certainly makes a very handsome leading man.’

  ‘He’s ridiculously attractive,’ I said. ‘I wonder if he really has been with as many women as the press make out.’

  ‘Let’s think about that,’ Cassie said. ‘A young, single, straight, extraordinarily good-looking, charismatic actor who shot to fame after starring in a hugely successful film – has he slept with a lot of women?’

  ‘Point taken.’ I told myself very firmly that I needed to stop thinking about Daniel Miller, even if he was the first man who’d made my pulse race since… ‘Actually, Cassie’ I said, ‘there’s something else I want to tell you – nothing to do with work -something I realised today –’ I broke off as Nadia, Cassie’s PA, came out of the house, carrying a jug of lemonade and two glasses on a tray. Not for the first time, I thought how much she resembled Cassie, with the same long blonde hair, although her eyes were blue and Cassie’s were green. She actually looked more like Cassie than the girl who was her stand-in on her TV show. Not that Cassie would have objected, but the star of The Adventures of Princess Snowdrop wasn’t expected to wait around on set while a scene was lit or the camera crew planned shots.

  ‘It’s still so hot out here,’ Nadia said, ‘I thought you might like a cold drink.’

  ‘Thanks, Nadia,’ Cassie said. ‘You’re a mind reader.’ She added, ‘Lucy started work at Reardon Haye today.’

  ‘Oh, I’d quite forgotten,’ Nadia said. ‘I’m so sorry – I’ve been so busy.’ She smiled at me. ‘How long is it that you’ve been living here with us?’

  ‘Just over six weeks.’

  ‘Six weeks? I didn’t realise it was that long. You must be so relieved to have a job to go to at last.’

  I smiled back at her. ‘I’m ecstatic.’

  ‘It’s very brave of you to take on a role you know so little about,’ Nadia went on, ‘but I’m sure you’ll rise to the challenge. You won’t let Cassie down.’ She poured two glasses of lemonade.

  ‘Won’t you join us?’ Cassie said.

  ‘It’s very sweet of you to ask me, but I’ve a few more emails I need to send before I go out.’ Nadia turned on her heel and went back into the
house.

  And what, I thought, did she mean about me not letting Cassie down?

  ‘Cassie,’ I said, ‘did you, by any chance, ask Eleanor to offer me the job at Reardon Haye?’

  ‘No, I didn’t,’ Cassie said. ‘I told you what happened. She mentioned that one of her agents had left, and she was looking for a replacement. All I said was that you might be interested.’

  ‘It’s not that I’m ungrateful, but I’d hate to think the only reason she took me on was because you’re one of her most important clients.’

  ‘My recommendation may have got you through the door, but if Eleanor didn’t think you were right for the agency, she wouldn’t have hired you, believe me.’

  ‘That’s good to know.’ I said. ‘Thanks, Cassie.’

  ‘No worries. Now, what was it you were about to tell me before Nadia interrupted you?’

  ‘It was about Lawrence,’ I said.

  ‘Who?’

  It occurred to me that I’d never told Cassie his name. ‘Lawrence is the married guy who I – well, you know what I did. Anyway…’ I took a deep breath. ‘I’m over him. I think I’ve been over him a while, I just hadn’t realised it. I haven’t thought about him in weeks.’

  Cassie’s face broke into a smile. ‘I’m very pleased to hear it,’ she said, ‘but I knew you’d get there. Everyone who goes through a break-up thinks they’ll never recover, but they do.’

  ‘I can’t believe I was ever stupid enough to fall for him. I’m supposed to be clever.’

  ‘I guess even the smartest of women can make mistakes when it comes to men.’ Cassie stretched out on the sun-lounger. Then immediately sat up again. ‘We should do something to celebrate your successful first day as a theatrical agent. Let’s order in pizza – my treat.’

  ‘Ooh, yes, please,’ I said. ‘Shall we watch a DVD as well?’

  ‘As soon as I’ve learnt tomorrow’s script, we can go wild,’ Cassie said. ‘Never let anyone tell you that Princess Snowdrop doesn’t know how to live a glamorous showbiz life.’