The One That I Want

by Lynne Shelby

  ‘No,’ Ryan said. ‘It’s all taken care of.’

  ‘Would you like some help with the vegetables?’

  ‘No,’ Ryan snapped, ‘what I’d like is for you to stop telling Cassie how to live her life. She doesn’t need you to decide who she can or cannot trust.’

  Nadia arched her eyebrows. ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’

  ‘Then let me make it simple for you. Who Cassie and I choose to invite into this house is nothing to do with you. In future, keep your opinion of our guests to yourself.’

  ‘I’m Cassie’s PA. It’s part of my job to give her advice.’

  ‘Actually, it isn’t,’ Ryan said. ‘You need to back off.’

  Nadia’s face contorted with anger, but almost instantly she re-arranged her expression into a smile.

  ‘After three years, I think I’m fully aware of what my job entails.’ She glanced at the kitchen clock. ‘Time for me to go and meet Leo.’ She picked up her magazine and pushed back her chair. ‘I know you’re under a lot of pressure, and you’re still upset about missing that penalty yesterday, but you really should try and put it out of your mind. Relax. Enjoy your lunch party.’ She walked serenely out of the kitchen.

  Ryan stared after her, his body rigid with suppressed rage. Then he looked at me, still standing by the sink, clutching my glass of water. The tension went out of him.

  ‘I’m sorry you heard all that, Lucy,’ he said. ‘Now really wasn’t the time to pick a fight with Nadia. I was just so angry. What she said about Fabio really worried Cassie. I could see the whole day being ruined.’

  ‘Don’t apologise,’ I said. ‘Nadia was completely out of order.’

  ‘It wasn’t just because of what she said today. Cassie thinks the world of Nadia, but I can’t stand her.’

  ‘Me neither,’ I said. ‘She is not a nice girl.’

  ‘I agree with you,’ Ryan said. ‘Unfortunately, Cassie can’t seem to see it – she relies on Nadia far too much.’

  ‘I suppose she’s an efficient PA,’ I said grudgingly.

  Ryan shrugged. ‘Cassie only gave her the job because she couldn’t get any work as an actress. She’d had a bit part on Princess Snowdrop and they’d kept in touch. Working for Cassie was supposed to be a temporary arrangement, just until Nadia got her acting career back up and running.’

  ‘Which hasn’t happened.’

  ‘Exactly,’ Ryan said. ‘Anyway, I need to crack on.’ Returning his attention to his culinary duties, he filled a saucepan with water, and placed it on the hob.

  I thought, maybe that’s why Nadia’s such a piece of work – she’s a frustrated actress and she’s taking it out on the rest of us. Then I remembered that for every Daniel Miller there were hundreds, maybe thousands, of actors who’d never make it. But they kept trying, or they gave up and got over it. They didn’t all start behaving like Nadia.

  Ryan said, ‘Are you sure you won’t join us for lunch, Lucy?’

  ‘Thanks,’ I said, ‘but I’m almost asleep on my feet.’

  ‘Maybe join us later? When you’ve slept it off?’

  ‘I’m tired, Ryan, not hungover. Honestly.’

  Ryan grinned. In the back pocket of my jeans, my phone started to vibrate. I fished it out and examined the screen.

  ‘It’s Daniel.’ I hit the answer key. ‘Hi, Daniel.’

  ‘Hi, babe,’ Daniel said. ‘Sorry I had to cut you off yesterday.’

  ‘Oh, that’s OK.’ Mouthing see you later, at Ryan, I left the kitchen, and took the rest of the call upstairs, lying on my bed. Daniel might not phone me very often, but when he did, and when he wasn’t called away to a film set, the sort of things he said to me, and the things I said to him, could really only be said in the privacy of my bedroom.

  CHAPTER 17

  I let myself into Cassie’s house, remembering to re-set the burglar alarm, before toeing off my high heels.

  Cassie’s voice came from the living room, ‘Lucy? Is that you?’

  I opened the living room door, and went inside. Cassie had been lying on the sofa, but now she sat up, yawned and stretched.

  ‘I didn’t expect to find you up this late,’ I said, flopping down in a chair. ‘Not on a school night.’

  ‘I’m waiting for Ryan to come in,’ Cassie said. ‘He’s at a fundraiser – a charity auction.’ She rubbed her eyes. ‘Have you had a good evening?’

  ‘I have. Michael – Owen’s flatmate – heard that he’d got the job he was after today, and we went out to celebrate.’

  ‘Who is we?’

  ‘Michael, his girlfriend Annette, Owen and me.’

  ‘You’ve been seeing a lot of Owen lately,’ Cassie remarked.

  ‘We’ve had a drink together after work once or twice – as friends do.’ I smiled. ‘He has to be one of the nicest men I’ve ever met – so easy to talk to. Did I tell you that he and I are going to the zoo at the weekend?’

  ‘The zoo?’ Cassie said. ‘I thought you were more a theatres-and-restaurants sort of girl.’

  ‘Oh, I am,’ I said, ‘but it’ll be fun to do something different. I’ve never been to London Zoo, and Owen hasn’t been since he was a child.’

  Cassie looked thoughtful. ‘Owen escorts you to showbiz events. You hang out in bars with him and his flatmate after work. And now you’re going about with him at weekends. I can’t help wondering if Daniel should be worried.’

  I rolled my eyes. ‘Owen and I are friends. I think I may have told you this.’

  ‘Yes, but –’ Cassie broke off. ‘Sorry. You did tell me.’

  ‘Not that it’s a big deal, but I do talk to Daniel on the phone about what I’ve been doing and who with. I’m sure he’d tell me if my friendship with Owen bothered him.’

  ‘Maybe it’s me who should be worried,’ Cassie said.

  ‘Why?’

  Her voice quavering, Cassie said, ‘I hardly dare ask… but have I been supplanted? Is Owen your new BFF?’

  I laughed. ‘Well, he did come round the other night so we could watch a DVD together.’

  Cassie put her hand to her mouth in mock horror. ‘Was it a rom com?’

  ‘No,’ I said. ‘It was a thriller. His choice.’

  ‘Hmm. Did you drink rosé? Did you eat chocolate?’

  ‘No and no.’

  ‘Oh, well that’s all right then. You’re still my best friend forever. I won’t worry until you and Owen start going clothes shopping together.’

  ‘Actually,’ I said. ‘I did go shopping with him last week. He needed a new shirt for an audition, and he wanted a woman’s advice.’

  ‘I guess I can allow you to help him buy a shirt,’ Cassie said. ‘But you are absolutely not to take him with you when you buy shoes.’

  ‘Fair enough.’ We both smiled.

  Cassie said, ‘So when exactly does Daniel get back to England?’

  ‘Monday night.’

  ‘Only a few more days.’

  ‘Three days, eighteen hours and twenty minutes until his plane touches down at Heathrow. Not that I’m counting.’

  ‘As if,’ Cassie said. ‘Are you going to meet him at the airport?’

  ‘No,’ I said, ‘he’s asked me to go to his flat and wait for him there. I thought I’d have a bottle of champagne ready on ice for when he arrives, and maybe light some candles. Or do you think that would be a bit much?’

  ‘Well, if it was Ryan who’d just got off a long flight, I’d be offering him a cold beer. But then Ryan isn’t a film star.’

  ‘I’ll compromise,’ I said. ‘I’ll still get the champagne, but I’ll make sure there’s beer in the fridge.’

  ‘What are you going to wear?’

  ‘I can’t decide. I want to look hot, obviously, but not slutty. I’ve treated myself to some gorgeous underwear, but I need to find an amazing dress to wear on top of it. I may have to take Owen shopping again.’

  ‘In the circumstances, a man’s opinion could be useful,’ Cassie said. ‘But I wouldn’t worry
too much about the dress. Your boyfriend’s been away from you for two long months. Whatever you’re wearing when he arrives home, I doubt you’ll have it on for very long.’

  ‘That’s what I’m hoping,’ I said. ‘Maybe I won’t bother shopping for something new.’

  Three days, twenty hours and thirty-five minutes later, I was standing by the window in Daniel’s flat, in his bedroom with the lights dimmed, when I saw his car draw up outside. He got out of the back seat, and stood in the pool of light from a street lamp, while his driver lifted his suitcases out of the boot. Darting away from the window, I lit the candles I’d placed around the room, switched off the electric light, quickly took off the bath-robe I was wearing over my new, pale pink lace bra and thong, and arranged myself in a seductive pose on Daniel’s bed. Then, catching sight of myself in the mirror and deciding I looked like I was trying too hard, I leapt up, opened the bedroom door, and leant causally against the doorframe.

  A few minutes later, the front door opened, and Daniel came in, pulling a suitcase behind him. Followed by his driver with the rest of his luggage. To his credit, the driver took one startled look at me in my barely-there lingerie, and immediately became extremely interested in the hall carpet, but I was horribly embarrassed.

  In a strangulated voice, I said, ‘Welcome home, Daniel.’

  ‘It’s good to be back,’ Daniel said. To the driver he added, ‘Thanks, mate, I’ll take it from here. Goodnight.’

  ‘Goodnight, Mr Miller.’ Keeping his gaze firmly on the floor, the driver deposited the luggage at Daniel’s feet, and hurried out of the flat.

  ‘I’d no idea you’d have someone with you,’ I wailed. ‘I thought you’d be alone.’

  Daniel grinned. ‘Evidently.’

  ‘I should have stuck with my original plan.’

  ‘Which was?’ He had just got home after a six hour flight. His clothes were crumpled, and his chin was dark with stubble. He was beautiful.

  Instead of answering him, I backed slowly into the bedroom, and assumed my former pose on his bed. Daniel followed me into the room, his glance taking in the candles, the bottle of champagne in the ice bucket, and the two fluted glasses I’d placed on the chest of drawers. He looked at me reclining on his Egyptian cotton sheets, and his grin was replaced with a wolfish smile. He sat down next to me, flipping me over so that he could unhook my bra and take it off. I lay on my side resting my head on one elbow. Daniel trailed a finger between my breasts, and then he took off my thong. He reached for the champagne, but rather than pouring it into the glasses, he took a swig, and handed the bottle to me. Without saying a word, we passed the bottle back and forth between us. Lounging on a beautiful man’s bed, naked and sharing a bottle of champagne, while he was fully clothed, was unexpectedly erotic. Despite the coldness of the champagne, my body felt like it was about to burst into flames.

  When we’d drunk over half the bottle, Daniel replaced it in the ice bucket. He took off his shoes and socks, and then he stood up and reached behind his head to pull off his sweatshirt. The sight of him, with the candlelight flickering over his ripped torso, actually made me feel lightheaded with desire. For a long moment, he stood looking down at me, and then, a smile playing about his mouth, he unzipped his jeans, with agonising slowness, and let them drop to the floor, revealing a pair of tight boxers that did nothing to conceal his arousal. By now I was desperate to have him inside me, and he knew it. Kicking away his jeans, he stripped off his underwear, rummaged in a drawer for a condom, flung himself on top of me, and kissed me greedily on the mouth.

  I was so ready for him, that he entered me with one smooth movement of his pelvis. I clung to him as he thrust into me, relishing the weight of his body on mine, my hips rising to meet his, my fingers digging into his back. We came at the same time, Daniel moaning and gasping and pushing into me so deeply that it was both pleasurable and painful all at once, and I felt so close to him, so glad that he had come back to me, that I almost cried.

  For the second time, I said, ‘Welcome home, Daniel.’

  Still lying between my thighs, Daniel said. ‘I could get used to a welcome like that.’

  He slid out of me, and with a light kiss on my lips, he lifted himself off me and onto the bed.

  ‘Would you like some more champagne?’ he said.

  ‘Please.’

  He stood up and poured the remainder of the champagne into the glasses. Which gave me a delightful view of his butt. And the marks my nails had left on his back.

  ‘Thanks,’ I said, as he handed me my champagne flute. ‘Er, do you have any more nude scenes to shoot on Fallen Angel II?’

  ‘Only the one where I shag my leading lady. Why?’

  ‘I got a bit carried away just now. Your back has scratches on it.’

  Daniel laughed. ‘Don’t worry about it. My makeup artist is the best in the business. And she’s very discreet.’

  I drained my champagne, and tried not to imagine the sort of things Daniel Miller’s make-up artist might need to be discreet about. Daniel had also finished his champagne. Sinking back onto the bed, he gave a sigh of contentment.

  ‘Did you miss me a lot while I was away?’ he said

  ‘Yes, of course.’ I had missed him – maybe not as much as I might have done if I hadn’t had Owen to talk to, but I didn’t need to tell Daniel that. ‘Did you miss me?’

  ‘I did.’

  I wondered if he really had missed me while he was in America, or if he was just saying what he knew I’d want to hear. Then I told myself it really didn’t matter, because he was back in England now, we’d just had the most amazing sex, and my fears that our relationship wouldn’t survive the weeks we’d spent apart had proved groundless.

  Daniel said, ‘Lucy, there’s something I need to say to you. Something I didn’t want to bring up while I was in New York.’

  ‘What is it, Daniel? You sound terribly serious.’ My insecurities came rushing back. ‘Is something wrong?’

  ‘No. But you and I need to have a talk.’

  ‘What about?’ My voice sounded unnaturally shrill. I thought, please don’t say that you’ve been sleeping with a glamorous Broadway actress while you were in New York. Or a rich, sophisticated Manhattanite. Or an American supermodel. Or anyone else. Because I don’t think I could bear it.

  Oblivious to my rising panic, Daniel said, ‘How much do you know about my schedule for the next few weeks?’

  ‘Not a lot,’ I said. ‘We’re very flexible at the agency, and all of us try to get know every actor on our books, but we each have our own list of clients who we focus on. It’s Eleanor who looks after our most important clients like you and Cassie.’

  ‘Right,’ Daniel said. ‘Well, my schedule for the next few weeks is packed.’

  ‘I know that you’re going to be spending long hours on set.’ Where was he going with this? Was he about to tell me he was going to be too busy to see me for the next few weeks?

  ‘I don’t just mean work. I’ve invites to a number of high profile events that I want to go to, and I’d like it if you’d be my plus one. And before you say anything, I will understand if you’d rather not.’

  ‘Do I want to go with you to a showbiz party? Ooh, I don’t know. I guess I could force myself.’ He wants me to be his plus one. Yes, please, Daniel!

  ‘Lucy, you need to think carefully about this. I have a very good relationship with the press – they don’t hound me the way they do some celebrities – but the events I’m talking about are going to be magnets for the paparazzi. Photos of us together could be posted on the internet and in the tabloids. Are you ready for that sort of attention?’

  My face broke into a smile. ‘I’ve never been shy about having my photo taken.’

  ‘I’m serious, Lucy. A lot of the women I’ve dated have been only too glad of the publicity, but you’re not an actress. I don’t want you getting upset if you get papped when you go out to buy a pint of milk with bed-hair and no make-up.’

  ‘Dani
el, I work as a theatrical agent. I live with Cassie Clarke. I’ve been to premieres in Leicester Square. I do know what the press can be like.’

  ‘So you’ll come with me to the Hedonists’ Ball? I’ve made it onto the guest list along with the Hollywood crowd again this year.’

  I thought, that’ll be A-listers only then – and me. What am I going to wear?

  ‘I’ll look forward to it,’ I said, smiling.

  CHAPTER 18

  ‘Daniel warned me before we got out of the limo,’ I said to Cassie the day after the Hedonists’ Ball, while we were eating our lunch on the terrace, making the most of the spring sunshine, ‘but I really didn’t understand what it would be like to walk along a red carpet with the Fallen Angel. There were so many cameras flashing that half the time I literally couldn’t see a thing, and all I could hear were the fans screaming and chanting his name.’

  ‘That sounds rather alarming,’ Cassie said.

  ‘It was a bit disorientating at first,’ I said, ‘but I just clung onto Daniel, and I was fine. When he stopped walking and posed for the cameras, I did the same.’ I pictured the scene on the red carpet. Daniel and I standing together in front of a bristling forest of long lenses. Blinding flashes of light. Daniel’s dazzling smile. ‘There are actually some quite good shots of us on the internet. Here, have a look.’ I passed Cassie my mobile, and she scrolled through the photos of the ball’s guests on Goss magazine’s website.

  ‘You look lovely, Lucy,’ Cassie said. ‘I adore your dress.’

  ‘Daniel bought it for me when he was in New York.’ He’d also bought me several more intimate articles of clothing which, although I was wearing them, weren’t visible in the photographs.

  ‘So did the Hedonists’ Ball live up to its name?’ Cassie said. ‘Was it hedonistic?’

  ‘Not so that you’d notice,’ I said. ‘It wasn’t that different to some of the student parties I used to go to. But with more champagne, more designer shoes, and a lot more botox.’

  Cassie laughed. ‘But you had a good time?’

  ‘I did, actually. Your friend Rochelle Thorne was there. I ended up dancing on the bar with her and that TV presenter who shagged the politician.’