The One That I Want

by Lynne Shelby

  ‘I’m not mad at you, Cassie. ‘But you of all people should know that most of that rubbish on the internet is made up.’

  ‘Some of it’s true,’ Cassie said.

  ‘You don’t need to worry about me.’

  ‘He’s a player, Lucy. Don’t let that bad boy break your heart.’

  ‘I won’t.’

  ‘Are you sure you’re not mad at me?’ Cassie said.

  ‘Really, I’m not mad,’ I said. ‘You’re my friend. I know you’re just looking out for me. Now let’s talk about something else.’ I wasn’t angry with Cassie, but I suspected that if she carried on reminding me about Daniel’s track record with women, I would be. Daniel had changed since he’d been with me. I knew he had. I was the ‘Girl who tamed the Fallen Angel.’

  Cassie gave me a long look, but all she said was, ‘This new play of Owen’s – what’s it about?’

  ‘It’s a comedy…’ We talked about the play until Ryan arrived back from football and Cassie went off to hear all about the match – especially the goal he’d scored in extra time.

  Realising that Daniel would be arriving in less than an hour to pick me up in a limo, I quickly showered, did my hair and make-up, and spent a happy ten minutes choosing what I was going to wear out of my growing collection of glitzy dresses. Once I was suitably glammed up, deciding that if I was going to be spending the rest of the night drinking free champagne, I probably ought to eat something, I went downstairs to make myself a sandwich.

  Cassie and Ryan were sitting at the kitchen table demolishing a Chinese take-away. Ryan offered me a spring roll, which I accepted. He also offered me some beer, which I declined because of the champagne I intended to be drinking later.

  ‘Where are you off to tonight?’ Ryan asked me.

  ‘Daniel has an invite to the launch of a WAG’s new perfume,’ I said. ‘Is it dreadful of me not to remember her name when I’m going to her party?’

  ‘Only if she knows your name,’ Cassie said.

  ‘Oh, well that’s all right then. I’m sure she has more important things to do than memorise the name of Daniel Miller’s girlfriend.’

  ‘Her name’s Zoe Dexter,’ Ryan said. ‘She’s dating Thierry Belanger – he’s one of the premiership’s leading midfielders. She’s a dancer.’

  Cassie said, ‘Ryan, have you been reading Goss?’

  ‘No,’ Ryan said, ‘but I’m on the guest list for Zoe Dexter’s perfume launch party. We can go, if you like.’

  ‘Oh, I don’t think so,’ Cassie said.

  ‘Why not?’ Ryan said. ‘It’s Saturday night. Let’s go out and party.’

  ‘But you hate celebrity parties,’ Cassie said. ‘You’re always telling me that football is a sport, not part of showbusiness.’

  ‘I’d prefer to be known for the number of goals I’ve scored rather than the number of soap stars I’ve pulled, or the number of times I’ve been in rehab, but that doesn’t mean I want to spend every night sat at home with a good book. Come out with me tonight, Cassie.’

  I paused in the act of biting into my spring roll. ‘You could come in the limo with me and Daniel. It’d be like a double date.’

  ‘Princess Snowdrop doesn’t go on dates with footballers,’ Cassie said.

  ‘Oh, for Chrissake!’ Ryan snapped. ‘You’re not Princess frickin’ Snowdrop. You’re Cassie Clarke.’

  The colour drained from Cassie’s face. ‘Please don’t shout at me, Ryan.’

  ‘I’m sorry. I apologise.’ Ryan sprang up, almost knocking over his chair, and got a can of lager out of the fridge.

  I swallowed my last bite of spring roll, and decided that I should probably make myself scarce.

  ‘I have to be so careful, Ryan,’ Cassie said. ‘I have to think of my image. It’s in my contract. And you know what the press are like.’

  ‘You’re twenty-five years old and you can’t be seen out with a guy?’ Ryan said incredulously.

  ‘When you put it like that, it does sound a bit ridiculous.’ Cassie put her elbows on the table, and rested her chin on her hands. ‘Maybe it is time the media knew about our relationship. I’ll speak to Snowdrop’s producers and my publicist, and see how they think we could spin it.’

  ‘We should get married,’ Ryan said suddenly.

  Now I knew I should definitely get out of that kitchen. I stood up and started to edge towards the door.

  Cassie laughed. ‘You and I are too young to get married.’

  ‘I’m serious, Cassie.’

  ‘You want to marry me?’

  ‘Isn’t that what happens in fairy tales?’ Ryan said. ‘The Princess marries her Prince and they live happily ever after. And the press are ecstatic.’

  Cassie just stared at him.

  ‘So, are we getting married?’ Ryan said. There was a note of desperation in his voice.

  I thought, come on, Cassie. Put the man out of his misery. Say yes. I stopped pretending that I was going to give them some privacy. I was rooted to the spot.

  The kitchen door swung open. Nadia stood in the doorway, her hands on her hips.

  ‘Didn’t you hear the doorbell, Lucy?’ she said. ‘Daniel’s arrived. I’ve left him in the living room talking to Leo.’

  ‘I’ll go and find him.’ If Daniel’s with Poor Leo, I thought, I’d better go and rescue him. I stayed in the kitchen.

  Nadia looked at Cassie and frowned. ‘You’re very pale, Cassie. Are you OK?’

  ‘I’m fine.’ Cassie was still staring at Ryan. She gave an almost imperceptible nod of her head.

  Ryan’s face broke into the broadest smile ever. ‘Cassie and I are getting married.’

  I couldn’t help shrieking aloud.

  Cassie looked dazed. Ryan went to her, and she stood up so that he could put his arms around her.

  ‘Congratulations!’ I said. ‘Many, many congratulations. I’m so happy for you!’

  ‘That’s… wonderful news,’ Nadia said. ‘I’m thrilled.’

  I didn’t think she sounded very pleased, but neither Cassie nor Ryan appeared to notice.

  Daniel, looking particularly gorgeous that night, his dark hair curling over his ears, appeared in the kitchen doorway. At the sight of him, my stomach did its usual gymnastics.

  ‘Hi, guys,’ he said. ‘Lucy, we’re already fashionably late for this launch party. I’d like to get going. Are you ready?’

  ‘Sorry, Daniel,’ I said. ‘I’ve been ready for a while, but I got a bit distracted. Cassie and Ryan have just got engaged.’

  Daniel’s smile was almost as broad as Ryan’s. Everyone in the kitchen, with the exception of Nadia, was smiling. It was like we were auditioning for a toothpaste advert.

  ‘Congratulations and well done mate,’ Daniel said, shaking Ryan’s hand. He gave Cassie a kiss on the cheek. ‘Congratulations, lovely.’

  ‘Thank you,’ Cassie said. ‘Thank you, all of you.’

  ‘This needs a toast,’ Ryan said. ‘Do we have any champagne?’

  ‘I don’t think so,’ Cassie said.

  ‘There’s champagne outside in my limo,’ Daniel said. ‘I’ll fetch a bottle.’

  ‘If you don’t mind waiting another ten minutes while Ryan and I get changed, Daniel, we’d love to cadge a lift in your limo to Zoe Dexter’s perfume launch. We could drink the champagne on the way.’

  ‘Sounds good,’ Daniel said.

  ‘Is that OK with you, Ryan?’ Cassie said.

  For an answer, Ryan picked her up and swung her round in a circle before kissing her firmly on her mouth.

  ‘It’s so OK with me,’ he said.

  ‘But is it sensible?’ Nadia said. ‘I mean, if you want to keep your relationship private.’

  ‘I don’t,’ Ryan said. ‘I’m marrying Cassie Clarke, and I want to tell the world.’

  Nadia turned to Cassie. ‘Is this party the right sort of event for Princess Snowdrop to attend? Especially if she’s planning to arrive in the same car as Daniel Miller – no offence, Daniel.’

/>   ‘I’ll be there as well,’ I said. ‘Cassie, you can’t possibly come to the launch. Snowdrop’s reputation will be irredeemably tarnished if she rocks up to a party with a girl who isn’t a celebrity.’

  ‘But you’re an honorary celebrity, babe,’ Daniel said. ‘You’re the Fallen Angel’s girlfriend.’

  ‘It’s OK,’ I said to Cassie. ‘You can be seen in public with me. I’m famous for dating a famous person.’

  ‘So let’s go party,’ Cassie said.

  Cassie and Ryan changed into a dress and a suit respectively and, leaving Nadia to give Poor Leo the good news about Princess Snowdrop’s engagement, the four of us headed out of Cassie’s house and piled into Daniel’s limo. Daniel opened the champagne and poured us all a drink.

  ‘To Cassie and Ryan,’ he said, raising his glass. ‘May you always be as happy as you are tonight.’

  ‘Cassie and Ryan,’ I said.

  We clinked glasses and drank. Daniel slid along the seat so that his thigh was pressed against mine, and put his arm around my shoulders. I leant against him, and he kissed the top of my head.

  ‘Should we have asked Nadia and Leo to join us, do you think?’ Cassie said suddenly.

  ‘No,’ Ryan said. ‘Nadia’s your employee, not your friend.’

  ‘I know,’ Cassie said, ‘but she enjoys coming with me to showbiz events, and I don’t mind if she tags along.’ She added, ‘I actually feel rather sorry for Nadia.’

  ‘Why?’ Daniel said.

  ‘She used to be an actress, but her career never took off. I met her when she had a walk-on part in Snowdrop, but she never had any other acting work after that.’

  ‘You gave her a job,’ Ryan said. ‘You don’t need to feel sorry for her.’

  Cassie sighed. ‘She says she likes working for me, but I know she misses acting. She’s hinted a few times about me getting her more work on my show, but it’s not something I can do for her. I may be the star, but I don’t have that sort of influence with the casting team. I can’t persuade them to hire someone who is totally wrong for a part.’

  I said, ‘Not even Eleanor Haye can do that.’

  Ryan put a finger on Cassie’s chin and turned her face towards his.

  ‘You are the sweetest, kindest girl I’ve ever met,’ he said. ‘And I love you very much.’

  He adores her, I thought.

  ‘More champagne anyone?’ Daniel said.

  CHAPTER 22

  ‘I didn’t know if you’d make it in today,’ Eleanor said to me when I arrived at work on Monday morning. ‘I thought Cassie’s house might be still besieged by photographers hoping to get a shot of the happy couple.’

  ‘There was just one girl with a camera outside when I left this morning,’ I said. ‘She was extremely irritated when I told her that Cassie and Ryan weren’t there. They went to Ryan’s place last night – after the paparazzi had gone home.’

  Eleanor frowned. ‘How’s Cassie coping with all the attention?’

  ‘She’s doing fine. She and Ryan stood on the doorstep and posed for a few photos, and the press were really kind to them. Of course, the fact that Ryan went round with a tray of glasses and offered them all celebratory champagne may have helped.’

  ‘And how are you coping, Lucy?’

  ‘Me?’

  ‘You’re getting quite a bit of attention yourself these days. And I don’t just mean the media circus that went on yesterday outside Cassie’s house.’

  I shrugged. ‘I only seem to get papped when I’m with Daniel, and I’m used to it by now.’

  ‘Compared to Cassie and Ryan, you and Daniel have certainly had it easy,’ Eleanor said. ‘Even so, if you need to take some holiday to recharge your batteries you only have to ask.’

  ‘I’m good, Eleanor, but thank you.’

  In actual fact, at that moment, I was feeling exhausted. On Saturday night, we’d arrived unfashionably late at the club in Knightsbridge where the perfume launch was being held, but were still in time to be met with a barrage of flashing cameras as soon as we emerged from our limo. The party itself had been a mix of alcohol, A and B-list celebrities, alcohol, live music, air-kissing, queuing for the loos, and more alcohol. Unusually, for such an event, I didn’t see anyone doing drugs. I chatted with friends like Rochelle Thorne, with other people who I only knew because they (or their current squeeze) were on the same guest lists as Daniel, and with people I didn’t know at all, but whose famous faces I recognised. Rochelle introduced me to Zoe Dexter (who’d been a backing dancer for the Thorne Sisters on their UK arena tour), and we’d had an interesting conversation about ballet and contemporary dance. Daniel spent the night surrounded by salivating women. Ryan spent the night with his arm around Cassie’s waist, telling everyone he spoke to that they were getting married, and the news of their engagement spread like wildfire through the party, from celebrity to celebrity, from dance floor to bar, and beyond. By the time the four of us stumbled from the club clutching our complimentary bottles of Zoe’s perfume, the press outside were already speculating about the date of the wedding, the guests, and the honeymoon destination. The camera flashes were blinding. We’d got back to Cassie’s at around three in the morning, and had managed just a few hours’ sleep before the photographers and journalists started setting up camp (noisily) on the pavement in front of the house, and the phones started ringing. Louella, Cassie’s enthusiastic publicist, and her assistant had arrived mid-morning. Nadia was in her element, liaising with Cassie’s fan club, fielding calls from gossip columnists, and telling everyone else what to do:

  ‘Lucy, you can see how busy we are, if you could make everyone coffee it’d be a great help to Cassie.’

  I kept Eleanor updated with regular texts.

  It had been Daniel’s idea that Ryan should hand out glasses of champagne (liberated from our limo the previous night) to the press, and it proved a good move, as the atmosphere on the pavement became very good-humoured. Cassie and Ryan bowed to the inevitable and made several appearances on Cassie’s doorstep, turning this way and that for photos and answering even the most intrusive questions with unfailing politeness. I was sure that Daniel wouldn’t have objected to posing for a few photos, but it was Ryan and Cassie’s moment, so we stayed inside and kept away from the windows. Nadia accidently managed to insert herself into one of the photo calls (wearing her best jeans and a lot of make-up, I noticed) when she’d taken another bottle of champagne outside to Ryan. It had been a very long day, and for the first time since I’d starting working at Reardon Haye it had been an effort for me to force myself out of bed on Monday morning and get to the office on time. But there was no way I was going to admit that to my boss.

  Eleanor said, ‘You’re entitled to take a day off work now and then, Lucy. Actually, you’re entitled to twenty five days off per annum plus public holidays. Check your contract.’

  ‘Daniel and I are thinking about going on holiday,’ I said. ‘Once he’s moved into his new house.’ And I’m living there with him. Hopefully.

  ‘Well, don’t leave it too long, or he’ll be starting another film.’ With that, Eleanor swept into her office and closed her door.

  Smothering a yawn, I turned on my computer and started replying to the numerous emails that had accumulated in my inbox since Friday (I swear that some actors spend their whole weekend emailing their agents).

  Maria arrived, less interested in Cassie and Ryan’s new status as the Nation’s Sweethearts, than in the trouble she was having with her car. Adrian came in soon after, carrying a newspaper. A photo of Cassie and Ryan took up half of the front page.

  ‘I broke up with Terri at the weekend,’ he said, by way of greeting.

  ‘Aw, Adrian, I’m sorry,’ Maria said.

  ‘I’m so sorry to hear that, Adrian,’ I said. ‘Are you OK? I mean, obviously you’re not OK...’

  ‘I’ll get over it.’ Adrian sat down at his desk and ran his hand through his hair. ‘I feel like shit right now though.’

  �
�When you’ve been with someone a long time,’ Maria said, ‘even when you know the relationship has run its course, it’s still hard to make that final break. It still hurts.’

  ‘We’ve all been there,’ I said. ‘Even if you’re the one who breaks it off because the man you’re sleeping with turns out to be a lying, cheating love-rat, you still cry yourself a river.’

  ‘But you get through it,’ Maria said. ‘And sometimes you realise that maybe it wasn’t your boyfriend’s fault that you drifted apart, it was just that he was the wrong guy at the wrong time in the wrong place. And you did have a good five years together.’

  ‘Even when it’s most definitely the guy’s fault, you get through it,’ I said. ‘And when you’re in a new relationship, you wonder what you ever saw in your sad loser of an ex.’

  ‘I’ve had it with relationships,’ Adrian said. ‘It’s strictly one night only for me from now on.’

  ‘You don’t mean that,’ I said.

  ‘I so do.’ Adrian picked up his newspaper and studied the photo of Cassie and Ryan. ‘The actress and the footballer. Is this for real or is it just a publicity stunt?’

  ‘It’s for real,’ I said. ‘Cassie and Ryan are crazy about each other.’

  ‘It won’t last.’ Adrian chucked the newspaper in the bin.

  CHAPTER 23

  Two weeks later, Daniel signed the papers that made him the owner of the house in Primrose Hill. Ryan bought Cassie a diamond solitaire engagement ring. And Owen made his West End debut at the Aphra Behn theatre in Live, Laugh, Love.

  ‘Are you sure you want me there?’ Daniel said to me, as I put the finishing touches to my make-up, before we left for the theatre on Owen’s opening night.

  ‘Of course I do,’ I said. ‘Why wouldn’t I?’ I surveyed my reflection critically in my dressing table mirror. For a first night, I aimed to look elegant and sophisticated rather than glam. I decided that in my knee-length dress and vertiginously high-heeled court shoes, I’d managed to pull it off.

  Daniel had been lounging on my bed, but now he came and stood behind me. ‘You know what it’s like when we go out, Lucy. If I come with you to see this play, I’ll probably attract more attention sitting in the stalls than the actors performing on the stage.’