After dinner I tried to do a handstand, but that didn't work out like it was supposed to either.
Mr. Frank's New Idea
While I was away on vacation I missed a lot of Mr. Frank's new ideas. He had even more new ideas today, but none of them had anything to do with not calling me Just Grace, because as soon as I walked into the classroom he said, "Welcome back, Just Grace." The new idea that I didn't miss, and I wish I did miss, was that the whole class had to pair up with partners and come up with a project that had something to do with language. This sounded like it could maybe be a project about talking, but if you thought that you would be wrong. Mr. Frank's language project had to be about words, letters, or communication (which is a word that means how information goes from one person to another person). You weren't allowed to just stand in front of the class and talk about stuff or sing the alphabet song—those kind of things didn't count. Mr. Frank said we had to use words that were written down. Plus he said he wanted to see some creativity. Not everyone was happy, especially Abigail Whitkin, because right away she started to whine about not being able to sing the alphabet song for her project. She is one of those people who knows how to sing the whole thing backwards, which is not amazing but still kind of cool. So it would have been easy for her to show off her talent in front of the whole class and not do any extra work.
But the most terrible part of all was that while I was gone on my vacation, everyone had already picked their project partners. Mr. Frank asked everyone to stand in their groups, and that's when I saw Mimi and Max and Sammy all standing together. Mr. Frank said I had to join a group that had only two people in it. There was only one two-person group in the whole class, and it was the one group I would have never picked even in a million years. Having your teacher stand right next to you can make your feet do things they wouldn't normally want to do, so my feet walked across the room and stood next to Grace W. and the Big Meanie. It made my insides feel unhappy from head to toe!
Big Meanie Bossy-Pants
The Big Meanie was horrible and wanted to do all of the deciding about what the project was going to be all by herself. Mr. Frank said we had to pool our talents and our interests, which means we had to find a project that we all liked and could do all together, but the Big Meanie was not listening. Her big idea was that we should make a hair salon and give everyone in the class fancy hairstyles. This was a dumb idea and one that was not pooling our talents because Grace W. and I don't know anything about fancy hair and always wear our hair in exactly the same way every single day. Plus boys don't like anyone to mess with their hair and make them look all pretty. The Big Meanie said we could make up one hairstyle for each letter in the alphabet. Then she gave us both a piece of paper with drawings of girls' heads with different hairstyles on it. She said, "Just Grace, Grace W., pay attention!"
I didn't want to say it but the first thing I thought about when I saw the paper was Wow! The Big Meanie is even better at drawing than I am.
Then she said, "You two have to practice some of these hairstyles tonight. And I'll think of the creative alphabet names." She was being 100 percent bossy, so I said, "You are not the boss of me!" Both Mr. Frank and Miss Lois looked over because I think I said it kind of loud, and we would have for sure gotten in trouble if the Big Meanie hadn't made a pretend smile and put her arm over my shoulder like we were best friends, which for sure we were not! "Quick, look happy," said the Big Meanie, and both Grace W. and I made pretend smiles. She was being bossy again but this time it seemed like maybe it was for a reason, so we let her. Just to see what was going to happen next.
REAL SMILE
PRETEND SMILE
If you know someone really well you can tell the difference.
Mr. Frank
The Big Meanie told us all about Mr. Frank and how she didn't want him to get into any more trouble with his new ideas not working out. She said that Mr. Frank had tried lots of new ideas but that Miss Lois wasn't looking like she liked most of them, and when Miss Lois didn't like an idea she took the class back from Mr. Frank and that made his face get all red and sad.
In two weeks Miss Lois was going to give Mr. Frank a grade just like she gave us, and if she gave him something bad like an F or a D then he would never get to be a teacher and would probably have to go work at the grocery store at night, putting boxes and cans on the shelves.
GOOD GRADES
OKAY GRADES
BAD GRADES
The Big Meanie said this was why we had to pretend to be liking each other and liking the project. I was very surprised, but she was right: this was a very good reason. I looked at Mr. Frank and I could tell he looked unhappy, or maybe he was just mad at Abigail Whitkin because she had started humming the alphabet song. If someone is humming the alphabet song, your brain just wants to sing along and you can't make it stop, no matter how hard you try. It's annoying! Right then I felt sorry for him and my empathy power just started right up. "We have to help him," I said, and then I let both of the Graces tell me about some of Mr. Frank's not-working-out new ideas that I had missed when I was away on my vacation.
Mr. Frank's New Ideas that Miss Lois didn't Like
1 Saying that anything with words on it can be used in reading class. Miss Lois says magazines and comic books do not count for reading, and she was very not happy when John Traffie brought in three cereal boxes with puzzles on the back for his reading project.
2 Having everyone in the class make up a new crazy name for themselves with this formula that was supposed to help us learn about the different parts of a sentence:
An adjective (which is a describing word) + a participle (which is an action word and kind of a verb) + the first letter of your name added to "umble" if it's a consonant or the first letter of your name added to "cky" if it's a vowel + a noun (which is a thing) + the name of some kind of pastry.
Miss Lois especially didn't like Brian Aber's made-up name, which was
Slimy Oozing Bumble Butt Cake.
My name would have been something much more creative and beautiful, but after a couple of the boys used endings like Booger Pie and Poop Cookie Miss Lois said the name project was over, so I didn't get a chance to make up a name. Poop Cookie sounded a lot like something Sammy Stringer's brain would think up.
WHAT GIRLS THINK UP
WHAT BOYS THINK UP
3 Asking the class to draw something from their imagination that they wished was real. Kids drew superheroes, and fairies, and friendly monsters and stuff like that, but when Isabella drew a unicorn Sandra Orr said, "You can't draw a unicorn! Unicorns are real! You have to pick a made-up thing!" Mr. Frank came over and told Sandra that he was pretty sure that unicorns were not real, but then Sandra started to cry and said that her mom had seen one so he was wrong, they were real!
Sandra was crying so hard, Miss Lois had to take her out of the classroom and walk her to the nurse's office. When Miss Lois came back she said everyone should put the imagination creatures away and just draw a favorite zoo animal instead. Grace W. said Mr. Frank's face was very red.
Nobody said anything more about unicorns for the whole rest of the day, and when Sandra came to school today she was wearing a white sweatshirt with a unicorn and a rainbow on it.
Three Graces
I was pretty sure that it wouldn't work, but I held on to the bead head just like before and wished that Mr. Frank would be okay. I wished that his face would not get red because of this new idea, and I wished that he would not have to get a job putting cans and boxes on the grocery store shelves at night. I made all my wishes for Mr. Frank because he seemed to need wishes more than I did, and now I was filled with empathy power for him.
The Big Meanie saw me closing my eyes and said, "Grace, what are you doing?" I was 100 percent surprised that she called me Grace and not Just Grace like she normally did. It was like she forgot that she was the Big Meanie and filled with hate for me.
I said, "I'm just trying to think of how to help Mr. Frank and come up
with an idea for our project that uses all of our pooling of talents. Grace and I don't know anything about hairstyles." I thought she might be mad, but she just looked at both of us and then said, "Grace, I see what you mean." And for some reason, that just made us start calling each other Grace as much as we could. It was confusing but very fun. "So, Grace, what do you think we should do?" "I don't know, Grace. How about something big?" "Grace, do you think Grace means a big sign or some kind of huge poster?" "Yes, Grace, I think Grace does. Let's do something that will get everyone's attention, okay, Grace?"
All this Grace talking made me sad that we couldn't use our normal Grace names like this all the time, and I said, "I sure wish I was-n't called Just Grace. It's unfair that I lost my real name!" "Mine too!" said Grace. "And mine three," said Grace. And then right there, because of everything we had just said, I had the start of an idea.
The Project Idea
Grace and Grace loved the idea. And we made a promise to keep it a three Grace secret until we were ready to show everybody what it was.
Surprise
Mimi said she was sorry that I couldn't be in her group with Max and Sammy. Then she said she was sorry that I had to be in a group with the Big Meanie and I said, "Grace F. isn't really a big meanie all the time." "I'm surprised," said Mimi, and I could tell that she really was.
Mimi's Project
Mimi said that she and Max and Sammy were doing a human alphabet for their project. She said that she was trying to keep it a secret to surprise me, but that now that she could almost do a handstand she couldn't make herself not tell me. She said that handstanding was important because they were going to make their bodies be all the letters of the alphabet, from A to Z and then shout out all the adjectives they could think of that started with that letter. Mimi said that some of the letters were harder than others and right now they had practiced all the way to K, which was kind of a hard one. She said the letters were pretty easy to do if you did them lying down on the ground but a lot harder when you did them standing up, which is what they were going to do. She said it was lucky that Max was so good at handstanding because that helped a lot.
HOW THREE BODIES COULD MAKE A K
Right when Mimi was about to ask me what my project was going to be she started sneezing. She pointed to my shirt and I could see that it had Captain Furry fur on it. How or why is a mystery, because it was a clean shirt that hadn't even gone on the trip with me to Chicago. In between sneezes Mimi said that I could come to her house after school and watch her, Max, and Sammy practice the L and M and N part of the alphabet. "I'll try," I said, and suddenly it didn't even make me super sad that Mimi was going to be with Max and Sammy again. Because now I knew the real reason they were being together all the time. You can't be a human alphabet without practice. Mimi was just busy with her project, just like I was going to be busy with the other Graces.
What was Lucky
It was lucky that Mimi started sneezing at the exact time she did, because I didn't want to have to say, "I can't tell you what my project is because it is a three Grace secret." Plus I didn't want to tell her why I was going to have to go to the grocery store after school and ask for nineteen empty boxes.
Nineteen boxes = one for everyone in the class, even Mr. Frank and Miss Lois.
If you Learn a Lesson you Should Try Not to Forget it
If you get in trouble with your parents for something, it is a good idea to try to remember what it was for so you don't make that exact same mistake again another time. Once I got into trouble for walking all over my neighborhood without permission, so now I know exactly what to do. This time I asked Mom first. Mom said she would walk with me to the grocery store, but then Augustine Dupre was standing outside and said she needed to go too. I guess Mom didn't really want to go, because when she heard this, she gave me some money and a list of two things to buy and a quick goodbye wave.
Augustine Dupre said, "You must be buying a lot of groceries if you need to bring that wagon. How many things are on your list?" "Two," I said. "Just strawberry jelly and mustard. The wagon is for the empty boxes. I need nineteen of them." And then I told Augustine Dupre all about the project. It was breaking the Grace secret, but Augustine Dupre was not going to tell anybody one word about it because she is the number one best secret keeper I have ever met. She said, "What an interesting idea." And that made me happy because I thought so too.
When we got home it was almost dinnertime and too late to go over to Mimi's house. I didn't see her or even hear anyone in her yard, so they were probably already all finished with the alphabet practice.
Fancy Handwriting
After dinner I took all the boxes into Augustine Dupre's apartment. Augustine Dupre can do perfect fancy handwriting just like Grandma's new friend Mr. Costello, so I asked her to write the numbers on the front of the boxes for me.
MY NUMBER 13
AUGUSTINE DUPRE'S NUMBER 13
When we were finished Augustine Dupre helped me put all the boxes in Mom's car so Mom could drive me to school with them tomorrow. Augustine Dupre is always helpful and thoughtful and filled with energy, just like Mr. Frank and even Grandma. Even though Grandma is kind of old and doesn't have much running-around energy, she is filled with lots of helpful energy. Plus, she is smart, because right now some of my bad changes looked like they were maybe turning into good changes, just like she said they could. And the most surprising one was about the Big Meanie, who had stopped being a Big Meanie right in front of my very own eyes. When I told her, Grandma wasn't going to hardly believe it!
What I Forgot
The next day I was so excited about bringing my boxes to school that I forgot to check my clothes to make sure they did not have any Captain Furry fur on them. I remembered about that part after I was talking to Mimi and she started sneezing. She wanted to tell me all about being a human W but I had to move away from her and then Miss Lois got mad and said, "No shouting in the hallway." If there are yes-people and no-people, Miss Lois is for sure in the no-person group. Mr. Frank is a yes-person.
Grace who used to be the Big Meanie said that Mr. Frank is her most favorite teacher ever and that she knows a secret about him but she is not allowed to tell it to anyone at school. I asked if she could tell us the secret if she was not at school and maybe at my house instead. When she said, "I think so," I invited both the Graces to my house after school.
What is Impossible
It is impossible to pick every piece of Captain Furry fur off your shirt. As soon as you let it go with your fingers it flies right back and lands somewhere else on your shirt.
Because of this happening I couldn't sit next to Mimi at lunch. It is impossible for a person to chew and swallow a sandwich while she is sneezing so I sat in the middle of Grace and Grace instead. I forgot that I was wearing my bead-head necklace until I saw Mimi sitting all alone at her table. As soon as I saw her sadness I closed my eyes and wished for Max and Sammy to sit with her, which was a wish I would have never thought that I would make. Not ever. Then like magic I saw Sammy and Max walk over to Mimi with their lunch bags. Mimi saw me looking at her and waved with a big smile on her face like maybe she knew about my wish. But she couldn't have, because Mimi is not a mind reader and I know that for sure. And even though my wishes were happening all around me like crazy, it was probably just another one of those coincidences.
Right then the Grace who used to be the Big Meanie asked if she could wear my bead-head necklace for a while. I was going to say "No, my grandma gave it so me," but then I remembered about that part not being true. Grandma hadn't given me the bead-head necklace; she'd given me her special silver locket, which I had 100 percent forgotten all about. The bead head was from the craft lady, so it really wasn't special except for maybe being magic, which it probably wasn't anyway. It took a long time to think about all this stuff, which for sure made Grace think I was trying to think up a nice way to say no. She seemed really surprised when I said yes and took it off to give it to her.
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The Project at School
In the afternoon Mr. Frank reminded everyone that the next day was going to be the start of the project presentations. We all already knew this because he had said the same thing right before we all went to the lunchroom for lunch. He seemed nervous that the class was going to mess up another one of his new ideas, but he didn't have to worry about us.
We three Graces were ready for our project. I had the boxes with the numbers already done and sitting in the cloakroom, and the other Graces had finished their parts of the project too. Grace had written each number (1 to 19) on a little card and Grace had made the special posters at the copy store. We decided that Grace should make the posters because she was so good at drawing, and even though we didn't use her idea for the hair salon, we still thought that the hairstyles drawings she made were pretty excellent.
Still Just Grace Page 4
