"Absolutely!" My eyes darted around Liam's bedroom, searching for a pen and paper. "When would you like to meet?" When I couldn't find any, I began frantically opening drawers.
"Is this evening all right, about seven? I close up at six-thirty."
"Yes, that works just perfectly," I replied distractedly as my search for a writing utensil became even more desperate. "Would meeting at Vino Veritas work for you? I'll be happy to buy you a glass of wine while we discuss your business."
"Oh, my," Angie Dower chuckled into the phone. "I feel like I'm getting the Don Draper treatment."
"That's my plan," I said through gritted teeth. With a frustrated yank, I pulled open the nightstand drawer on Liam's side of the bed. What I saw made my heart stop.
"That sounds lovely! See you at the wine bar at seven!"
Somehow I swallowed the lump in my throat and found my voice. "See you then, Ms. Dower."
With trembling fingers, I picked up the photograph of the woman sitting in the drawer. It was worn and faded as if it had been handled and folded frequently.
The woman was blonde, pretty and smiling. She looked young, in her early to mid-twenties. It looked like a spontaneous photo she didn't expect to be taken. Warm sunlight cast on her face and wind whipped her golden hair, making her look like a glowing angel. Behind her was the iconic Golden Gate bridge with the Bay Area fog just starting to roll in.
"Coming to take a bath, babe?" Liam called from the bathroom and emerged too quickly for me to hide the photo back in the drawer.
His expression when he saw me holding it in my hands told me he knew exactly what I found. Still, he didn't look surprised.
"Who is this?" I asked, my voice wavering.
He swallowed before answering in a cracked voice.
"That's Katie. My ex-fiancee."
He said nothing else. My body felt like it was made of concrete as I returned the photo to its home and closed the drawer.
I rose to my feet and let out what screamed through my mind.
"You said let's leave the past where it belongs,” I stated, trying to keep my voice steady. “You said 'to new beginnings'."
"Yes," he replied quietly. "You're absolutely right. And I still mean every word of that."
He took a tentative step toward me but stopped when I held my hand up.
"Then explain to me why you have a picture of your ex next to your bed."
He hesitated and took a deep breath before replying.
"I keep her picture to remember that she died because of me." His eyes bore intensely into mine. “So that it never happens again to the next woman I fall for.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
HAZEL
I blinked.
I felt utterly confused. For a moment I felt like I discovered an affair or at least serious dishonesty but I didn’t even know if those were the right feelings to have.
Was I completely wrong to feel safe around him?
To feel like I loved him?
Liam approached me slowly and sat on the edge of the bed. He patted the space next to him, inviting me to sit.
“I’ll tell you everything. Just give me a chance to explain.”
Tentatively I sat on the bed a few feet away, my eyes wide and watching him cautiously.
He gave me a pained look. “I’m not a danger to you, Hazel. I won’t hurt you and I never… directly hurt her. I didn’t kill her but I do blame myself for her death.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
He sighed deeply and looked at his hands folded in his lap.
“Katie died three years ago. I was a rookie cop on the San Francisco police force back then. I was young, gung-ho and a fucking idiot. I put myself in harms way unnecessarily because I loved the adrenaline rush. If I had the slightest chance of taking down a bad guy, I’d do it in a heartbeat.”
He let out a dry bitter laugh.
“I kind of romanticized the job, I guess. But as it turns out, you need to use your brain in police work too. Sometimes it’s better for the greater good to allow some level of organized crime to remain in order.”
“How can that be?” I demanded. “And how would that contribute to your fiancee’s death?”
“It’s not something most people think about until they’re dealing with criminals on a daily basis,” he said. “It’s almost like… a parallel universe. They have their own laws, their own order of things in terms of business and loyalty and relationships. Especially here in California, with so much gang activity. There are so many groups and they’re very well organized.”
“Okay,” I said, despite still not completely following him.
“So, as you can imagine,” he continued. “Some of these gangs are at war, others have peace agreements. Some have been allies since the dawn of time, some have been mortal enemies because one soldier gave a boss a funny look one day.” He swallowed and looked off into empty space. “When war breaks out, it doesn’t matter who gets caught in the crossfire. Anyone and everyone can become a casualty.”
He paused for such a long time and seemed lost in another world, another time.
“Is that what happened to Katie?” I asked.
His eyes closed gently and he nodded.
“Two San Francisco mob families were doing business together. We found out who was selling, buying, and who the contacts were. We set up a perfect ambush, got a lot of powerful criminals arrested, and confiscated over five million dollars worth of cocaine.”
“Isn’t that a good thing?” I said. The story still wasn’t making sense to me. His tone didn’t match at all with the words he said.
“Oh, the department was ecstatic,” he replied flatly. “We were over the moon. Partying for days and feeling like heroes. I was thrilled to be a part of it as such a young cop. But,” he paused again, looking at some far off place. “We didn’t think ahead to what the consequences would be.”
For the first time since we started the conversation, I put my hand on his forearm, the muscles knotted and tense.
“You stopped a major drug deal from happening. You arrested dangerous people and took them off the streets! I don’t understand how that contributed to someone getting killed.”
He gave a hint of a smile and put his hand over mine.
“Yes, and that caused the other side to not get product that they paid a lot of money for. When it wasn’t delivered, they retaliated.”
Liam closed his eyes again, this time squeezing them shut as a vein pulsed in his temple.
“They took to the streets, encroaching on their opponent’s territory. At first, they just targeted the other soldiers but it got out of control quickly. Lots of innocent people were caught in the crossfire. Dozens of injuries. Three deaths.”
He opened his eyes and looked at me directly.
“Katie was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. I arrived at the scene too late and she died in my arms from gunshot wounds.”
His eyes were cold and dark but surprisingly, they didn’t appear to be sad.
“I’m so sorry,” I said quietly. “I can’t imagine a worse way to lose someone.” My hand squeezed around his forearm gently. “You have to realize it wasn’t your fault.”
“I played a part in it. There’s no denying that.”
“You were doing your job,” I argued. “There’s no way you could have known.”
Liam smiled as he intertwined his fingers with mine, as if something about the situation was absurdly funny.
“You know what I feel the worst about?” he asked.
I shook my head.
“I wasn’t sure if I wanted to get married to her.”
I narrowed my eyes. “What? She was your fiancee.”
“I know,” he sighed. “We were together a long time. I did love her. I missed her terribly and grieved like hell after she was gone. Losing her was the main reason I got the hell out of San Francisco. But I also had my doubts about marrying her that I never told her. She died without knowing my true fee
lings and that’s what really guts me.”
“Then why did you propose to her?”
“Because I was young and idiotic,” he admitted. “I figured it was the next logical step but I didn’t really think it through. As we got older and started planning for the future, I realized our life goals and values didn’t align.”
He nudged me gently with his forehead and snaked an arm around my back, gently pulling me in closer.
“Since I met you,” he said in a low, quiet voice. “I haven’t thought about her once. In the five years she and I were together, I never felt the way I do with you. You set me on fire Hazel, like no one else ever has.”
I allowed myself to lean against him, feeling his heart beat a comforting rhythm under my cheek. I wanted to believe him with every fiber of my being. It made sense. And yet still, I was falling for him hard and couldn’t help but feel hurt and suspicious at finding another woman’s photo next to his bed.
“So you’re over her?” I asked cautiously. “I don’t mind you having memories of your past, especially since she was taken away from you, but is it just that? A memory?”
He cupped my chin and made me face him, looking into his handsome face as he ran his thumb over my lip.
“She’s nothing but a memory,” he said solemnly, looking straight into my eyes. “You are the present. You’re real and here. And you’re mine.”
His kiss captured my mouth like it would never let me go. All my fears and doubts melted away as the taste and touch of him filled my senses. We remained sitting on the bed but I felt like we were floating.
By the time we both came up for air, I sat straddling his lap and his thick cock grew hard between us. He smiled wickedly, all the dark seriousness gone from his eyes as he fisted my hair at the back of my neck.
“Anything else I can do to reassure you, beautiful?”
“Unless you have anything else to tell me,” I grinned back. “The best thing to do would be fucking me in that bath you started.”
With no hesitation he stood up, holding under my ass with the strong corded muscles in his arms as if I weighed nothing and headed straight for the bathroom.
“Anything you desire,” he growled into my neck. “Because you’re mine, Hazel. All mine.”
Happiness swept over me like the luxuriously warm bath water I was about to soak in and I hoped it would never end.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
HAZEL
“I can tell you’re a virgo,” Liam said playfully with a wicked gleam in his eye.
“Oh, how’s that?”
I stirred my mojito and sipped it pointedly. The lime and mint concoction was delicious and refreshing on this unusually warm spring day.
“You’re always so open to trying new things with no fears or expectations.” He smiled. “Like a virgin.”
“I didn’t know you were such a horoscope guru.”
“I’m great at making shit up,” he shot back with a wily grin.
We were enjoying lunch on Cafe Soledad’s outside patio and life could not be more perfect. The sun warmed my skin while the drink cooled me down. I wore a light, flowy maxi dress that Liam could not take his eyes off of.
He looked every bit as summery and dashing in a white breezy button up with the top three buttons undone and dark blue chino shorts.
I sat with my legs crossed under the patio table, angled so that the top of my foot brushed against the back of his firm calf muscle. As we bantered and enjoyed our lunch, his fingers often found their way up the slit of my dress to caress over my knee.
It was so hot that we weren’t being very PDA at all, certainly not in a gross or obnoxious way, but every little touch and smile and innuendo we sent across the table fueled the raging bonfire of passion between us.
Every time we saw each other, we fucked like mad at least once in the morning and once at night before bed. It was like bringing us together caused an explosive nuclear reaction that never burned out. We burned just as hotly for each other now as we did on day one.
In bed, I never knew exactly what was coming from Liam and I loved that. I had yet to use our safe word because I trusted him completely. Gone were the days of boring, repetitive missionary sex that rocked me to sleep. No, the only thing Liam gave me every time were multiple orgasms that shook me to my core.
If I had a request, like spanking or a certain toy, he would only give it to me after working me into a frenzy, until I was begging him for it. He kept me on my toes and always on the edge of another explosive climax.
While he was deliciously unpredictable in bed, we got along outside of the bedroom like we had known each other for years. Conversation flowed easily and comfortably. He actually listened to me and respected my opinions.
Even while he teased me across the bistro table, I could dish it back and he wouldn’t get butthurt about it. He was surprisingly easygoing and lighthearted for a cop. It was a sexy contrast to his dark, dominant mannerisms in the bedroom.
Every night that I found myself wrapped up in his protective arms, nuzzling into his warm chest, I found it harder not to whisper “I love you” before drifting off to sleep.
I nearly said it the other morning before leaving for work, but he kissed me quickly and said, “See ya later, beautiful” as he jogged down the street to the gym.
As I looked at him across the table, sun-kissed, relaxed, handsome as fuck and with our fingers intertwined on my knee, I felt it more strongly than ever.
I love you. Goddamn, I am so fucking in love with you.
The words rang through my head like a bell. I stared at him shamelessly as my mind repeated them to myself as if trying to tell him telepathically.
“Do I have something on my face?” he asked when he caught me staring, rubbing at the stubble on his jaw.
“Yeah, my face.”
I leaned over and kissed him, tasting the rich, sharpness of whiskey on his lips.
His tongue dove between my lips and he did what he was best at--taking control.
With one powerful tug of his arm around my waist, he pulled me into his lap and held my thighs down while he explored my mouth as if he was kissing me for the first time.
Even the afternoon sun couldn’t keep me from shivering as his hands brushed across the sides of my breasts. Nothing that wasn’t PG rated, but with enough intention to send a pool of heat between my legs and make my nipples stand at attention.
Against my thigh, I felt his meaty cock start to stiffen and I spread my legs out ever so slightly, just enough to rub against his hardness.
“You naughty girl,” Liam growled into my neck. “Want to get us kicked out of this place?”
“Wouldn’t it be worth it?” I asked, rubbing my thigh harder against his growing bulge.
He grunted in approval as his manhandling of me grew firmer and bolder. “I think someone needs to be spanked.”
“Oooh no! Have I been bad?” I purred into his ear and watched his lips part thirstily for me, smiling at the thought of his palms making my ass cheeks sting so sweetly. It hurt so good and made my orgasms more intense. My body craved it like the most decadent chocolate.
“Well isn’t this nice,” said a voice loaded with snark.
Liam and I looked up in unison to give a piece of our minds to whoever decided to rudely comment on our intimacy. The older, more conservative citizens of Cloverville loved to comment on the younger generation displaying their sinful lust to each other but that didn't make it any less uncalled for.
But my jaw dropped as my eyes fell on who stood in front of us, just on the other side of the low patio fence.
Johnny.
He looked awful and unkempt like he slept in the clothes he was wearing and barely slept at that. His hair was disheveled and dark circles rounded his eyes.
I was momentarily startled at seeing him and tightened my grip around Liam's neck, who squeezed around my waist protectively. But then I remembered my final, killing blow to his ego, his reputation, and everything that mat
tered to him and kept a cool exterior.
"Johnny, what are you doing in town?" I asked as calmly as if seeing an old friend.
"You ruined my life, bitch," he snapped like a rabid dog. "Shelly dumped me, her husband is suing me, and I got fired for creating a hostile work environment. All fucking thanks to you!"
"Mm, must be hard," I said with feigned sympathy. "Especially after you didn't get to date rape me and talk me into being your side piece again."
"Shut the fuck up! You have no proof!" he yelled at the top of his lungs like a madman, spittle flying from his mouth. "It was just alcohol, nothing else in those drinks! You can't prove shit."
"I had a feeling," I said, keeping my cool while enjoying his outburst like a fireworks display. "That's why I didn't press charges. I knew you'd just humiliate me again." I leaned forward toward him and couldn't help but smile wickedly. "That's why I got you where I knew it would hurt you."
"I'm suing you," he said, teeth chattering with rage. "I'll get you for libel, slander and ruin you ten times worse!"
I lifted a shoulder in a lazy half-shrug. "I haven't said anything that isn't true."
At that point, Liam nudged me off his lap and stood up, hands casually in his pockets as he towered a good six to eight inches taller than Johnny.
"Aw, isn't this sweet," Johnny seethed bitterly. "Cupcaking with the cop who let me go. Did you know that, Hazel?"
"She's done talking to you. You're talking to me now." Liam smirked cockily down at him. "And I'm off duty."
Johnny eyed him warily, already stepping away instinctively.
"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"
"It means I have no qualms about breaking both of your legs if you don't leave this town for good. Right now."
Johnny let out a dry laugh, a clear attempt to mask his fear and insecurity.
"Like you actually would."
"Do you really want to test me?" Liam stepped closer. With one more move, he'd be stepping over the low wrought-iron fence and be standing directly in Johnny's face.
Johnny backed up, his eyes downcast. If they were lower animals he would be assuming the submissive position, tucking his tail between his legs and rolling over to expose his belly to the superior alpha male.
Love and War: A Bad Boy Romance (Small Town Bad Boys Book 2) Page 10
