Well, he rented.
I just lived there.
I went outside and, dammit, I had a cigarette.
Yes.
I needed one.
Of course I was going to quit after the wedding.
Duh.
I just didn’t need anyone to tell me to do that.
Just like I didn’t need anyone to tell me what to do with my career.
What pissed me off the most was in a way Kinney was right.
I had no more ties to the town of Hidden.
Other than the bakery.
And traveling. Doing something bigger and better. Taking risks… because I could. Because no matter what Kinney…
I bit my pinky nail and smoked my cigarette.
The entire world was right in front of me.
And I just kept worrying about what was behind me.
* * *
‘Does he know you’re here?’
‘No.’
‘So it’s like old times,’ Jett said. ‘Except you’re engaged to him now.’
‘I didn’t come here for that,’ I said.
I put my left hand behind my back.
Hiding the diamond ring.
I know it hurts Jett.
‘What are you doing here then?’
‘Just wanted to talk. See how you were doing. I’m wrapping my head around everything here.’
Jett nods. ‘And you choose me to talk to about it?’
‘It’s been a while, right? Are we really never going to talk again? Ever?’
Jett laughs. ‘You talk to Kinney about all of this, what you’re thinking and feeling?’
‘Jett…’
‘Hey, I get it. I’m the guy. I’ve always been the guy. Just not the right guy. What do you want right now, sweetheart? You want me to justify things? Tell you it’s okay?’
‘What the fuck, Jett?’
‘No,’ he says. ‘You don’t want to marry him. You’re just going along with the movement of time. His time. His path. Right? And what do you want me to do right now, Julia? Want me to grab you and kiss you? Huh? Want me to sneak you into the bathroom and turn you around and bend you over the bathroom sink? Right? And then you can watch the reflection of me fucking you, knowing how wrong it is.’
I slap him across the face.
Tears fill my eyes.
‘You’re a prick, Jett,’ she says. ‘I came here to just talk to you. That was it. Just to catch up. I didn’t want this… this angry hurt between us to be there forever. I’m starting my life over. You should too.’
Jett rubs his cheek. ‘Starting over? Then let it all go, sweetheart. Let it all the fuck go. And you go enjoy your big and fancy life with him. But I know in your heart you’ll always dream of that little house on the beach. Because that’s what you really want.’
‘Goodbye, Jett,’ I say. ‘I’m glad I did this. I needed to see you for who you really are.’
Jett laughs. ‘I’m the same as I’ve always been.’
‘That’s my point.’
I hurry out of the cheap dive bar and run around to the side of the building.
I cover my mouth and fight back the urge to cry.
And I wait.
One minute.
Two.
Three.
Four…
I stare to where I had come from and I realize Jett isn’t following me.
He’s not chasing me down.
He always chases me down.
He always saves me.
But not anymore.
And you know what?
Good.
Screw him.
Even if he is right.
I came to see him to see what he would do.
Just like before… one kiss would change my world.
Only now, it was going to be the wedding kiss I would share with Kinney.
* * *
Somehow by four in the morning Kinney was gone and there was at least two hundred flowers in the kitchen waiting for me.
Bouquets on top of bouquets.
Every color and kind of flower I could think of.
And a note waiting for me.
Pretty J -
Wrong place, wrong time. That used to be the story of my life. But now you’re the story of my life. Finally. The right place. The right time. And that’s on our wedding. Everything after that is forever.
K
I covered my mouth and wasn’t sure what to do.
I tried to smell one of the flowers but that didn’t help at all.
When I turned away from the flowers, I saw the sink.
I ran to it and hung over it, waiting to throw up.
It was like I needed to throw up.
But nothing happened.
I just hung over the sink, catching my breath.
I left the flowers and note on the counter and left to go to the bakery.
In the dark, I walked from the back to the front of the bakery.
I tried to picture my life without the place.
The only reason I worked there was because of Aunt Bea. And then the place became an outlet for me to try and connect with her. And when she died, it was all left to me. And while it was fun to be part of…
I was behind the glass all day long.
I chased away the thoughts and got to work for the day.
But when I unlocked the door and welcomed in the first customer, something happened.
As Barb talked about the weather on my wedding day, I walked behind her.
I already had her order in my head. (She was one of the regulars.)
I stopped and touched my right cheek.
There was a tear.
It caught me off guard.
And I wasn’t sure why I was crying.
The saddest part… there were just too many reasons to cry.
Chapter 10
THEN
Jett
I didn’t go visit Scotty anymore. He had nothing to offer. He never talked back. He never had any good advice. The silence was hard to deal with. Oh, and it didn’t help that he was fucking dead.
I snorted with a sick kind of laughter at my thoughts.
That was the whiskey though.
It wasn’t me.
It wasn’t the real Jett.
It was Whiskey Jett.
That guy was a real asshole.
The kind of asshole who hated his dead best friend because he wasn’t able to be there for me. Because I was being greedy and I would shut my eyes like a little bratty kid and demand Scotty to be alive. Hell, even if it was his ghost. He could float his ass right out to my truck where I was sitting, drinking whiskey like it was water, and tell me what the hell I was supposed to do with my life.
“Tell me, Scotty,” I said in a deep voice.
Then I laughed.
I wiped my mouth and put the whiskey bottle on the seat next to me.
My only passenger now.
My favorite passenger.
Julia & Kinney
Excuse me…
Kinney & Julia
Which was… fuck that. Her name deserved to be first. She was the real one there. The strong one.
Strong enough to get away from me. Strong enough to push through that wall of bullshit I left for her to deal with. Which pushed her right back into Kinney’s arms. Of course Kinney was there, right? Just passing the time…
I punched the steering wheel.
“Fuck you, Scotty,” I said. “You hear me, man? Fuck you. You fucking liar. You weren’t supposed to do this to me. I wouldn’t do it to you. We were supposed to…”
I laughed.
What was worse than talking to a piece of rock with Scotty’s name on it?
Talking to nothing and nobody.
Like some drunk psycho.
I opened the door and fell out of the truck.
I stayed on my feet though.
No fucking way I was going to fall over.
I looked across the parking lot to the neon glow of the lights of the b
ar.
The name of the bar didn’t matter.
Who was inside didn’t matter either.
What mattered was that I was going to fucking handle my business.
And then go find the final proof that my only love was gone for good.
* * *
‘You cried, brother.’
I keep my arm around Julia and use my other hand to take a swing at Scotty.
He moves away easily.
I hit nothing but air.
That only makes him laugh.
‘It’s okay to cry,’ Julia says.
‘See?’ Scotty says.
‘You’re a piece of shit, man,’ I say.
Scotty laughs harder. ‘Come on, it’s all for fun. I cried too.’
‘You’re a pussy though,’ I say. ‘Everyone expects you to cry.’
‘Jett…,’ Julia says, punching me in the stomach.
‘Just means you love me, brother,’ Scotty says.
‘Yeah, okay,’ I say.
‘You can admit it,’ Julia says.
I break away from her. I nod. ‘Fine. You two want to gang up on me here? Fine. I cried. I cried like a baby, okay? Fuck it. My best friend was getting himself cleaned up. I hadn’t seen him in a while. I was scared out of my mind. I was pissed at myself for not knowing what was happening behind my back. So when I went to get you, Scotty, I was mad at you. I planned on beating the hell out of you right there in the parking lot. But then I saw your ugly ass smile and it just hit me. My best friend. My brother. You looked happy. And I cried. It got the best of me in that moment. Then we hugged…’
‘And he touched my butt, Julia,’ Scotty says. ‘He whispered to me he always loved me more than a best friend.’
‘See?’ I ask. ‘This is why I don’t say anything.’
Scotty laughs harder.
Julia hurries toward me and touches my face. ‘Ignore him, Jett. It’s so sweet what you just said.’
‘Sweet,’ Scotty says.
I shake my head.
‘You’re a good person,’ Julia says.
‘You know I love you too, brother,’ Scotty says. ‘Come on… group hug this shit.’
Scotty attacks us.
Julia’s hugging me and he’s side hugging both me and Julia.
I want to be mad but can’t.
It’s Scotty.
It’s Julia.
They’re my family.
They’re-
‘Psst,’ Scotty whispers. ‘Would it be wrong to admit I’m a little hard right now?’
At the same time, Julia and I elbow Scotty away.
‘You are a piece of shit,’ Julia says.
‘Told you,’ I say.
Scotty cackles. ‘Now. Let’s have a drink or two. Come on. We’re just hanging out here tonight.’
There’s no stopping Scotty when he wants to do something.
He’s had a few drinks here and there. And going to rehab wasn’t exactly for booze. Drinking wasn’t the smartest thing in the world, but…
‘Be careful,’ I say.
‘I always am,’ he says.
He does that stupid cackle again.
Julia touches my hand.
And Scotty already has a bottle of something to start partying with.
An hour later, he’s drunk.
I’m really not in the mood to drink so I just sip here and there.
And Julia… she took two shots of whiskey with Scotty and then passed out.
She’s on the couch, curled up under a blanket, making me smile each time I look at her.
Scotty and I sneak outside for a smoke and sit on the concrete stoop.
‘Goddamn, brother,’ he says. ‘You’re going to marry her. You’re going to be with her for the rest of your life. You’re going to go through everything with her. Ups and downs. Everything, brother. And then you’re going to have some kids…’
‘Kids?’ I ask.
‘Yeah,’ Scotty says. ‘And I’ll be the crazy uncle. I’ll teach them all the bad things in life. I can’t wait.’
I look at Scotty and shake my head. ‘You’re the only one who gets it, man. How I feel about her.’
‘Of course I get it. I see it. Fuck. That first night… you were like a kid, brother. Hey, remember the time you made out with Kerri?’
‘Yeah?’
Scotty nods. ‘It was like that. You rambled about that kiss all night. You made out with her and then stopped to tell me about it. You could have…’
‘Yeah, yeah, yeah,’ I say. ‘I just felt bad for you. Didn’t you practice kissing with a watermelon. With a hole cut into it?’
‘That hole wasn’t for kissing, brother,’ Scotty says.
I laugh. ‘Man, you are sick. I can’t even make fun of you. You are sick.’
‘I keep shit interesting,’ he says.
‘Yeah, you do.’
‘Brother, I’m happy for you. With Julia. Don’t fuck that up.’
‘Not going to happen.’
‘I mean it. Protect her. Love her. Take care of her. If you don’t, I’ll swoop in.’
‘I’ll kill you.’
Scotty looks at me. ‘I want that too, Jett. To feel that way.’
‘You will, man. I got lucky. Way too lucky for my own good.’
‘That was one thing I figured out when I was getting some help. I don’t want to be alone. But sometimes I don’t know how to open myself up to it. After all the shit that went down… bouncing from house to house. Never knowing what was actual love and care versus someone getting a monthly check, you know? Fucked up. And any time I thought I had someone, they were ripped away.’
‘That’s what makes the real stuff so real then,’ I say. ‘Because you have to put that hurt on the line. You have to face it to move forward.’
‘Or maybe I’ll just go fuck a few hundred chicks and be happy that way.’
‘Whatever works. But I know you, man. You have a heart under all that bullshit you call a personality.’
‘Yeah? Maybe I’ll just leave right now then. Go find someone to fool around with. Or maybe send that text to that certain someone…’
‘You’re not going anywhere,’ I say.
‘Why not? I’m fine.’
‘You’re drunk as fuck, man.’
‘I’m good at driving when drunk,’ Scotty says.
He grabs an imaginary steering wheel and pretends to drive.
‘Real funny,’ I say. ‘And who is this certain someone you’d text?’
‘Met someone at rehab,’ he says.
‘No shit.’
‘Yeah, brother. She’s fucking perfect. I don’t know how the whole finding love in rehab thing works. It’s not really supposed to work. But we’ve stayed in touch. I figure give it a little time and see where it goes.’
‘Damn, Scotty. You’re going to do it. You’re going to fall in love. Then it’s going to be the four of us…’
‘You into swapping?” he asks.
‘Swapping?’
‘Yeah, brother. I bang Julia and you bang-’
‘Fuck yourself,’ I say. I stand up. I’m done with my cigarette. I’m going to carry Julia to bed and hold her until the sun comes up. ‘You’re on the couch. Text your girl though. Say something sweet to her. I mean it, man. If you even think for a second it could be real, be crazy.’
‘Crazy is my thing,’ he says.
I smile at Scotty and go inside.
I carry Julia to bed.
She doesn’t wake up for a second.
Which is kind of a bummer. I was hoping she’d wake up and we’d have a little fun.
But that’s what mornings are for.
I fall asleep faster than I expect but it doesn’t last long.
My eyes open and it’s an hour later.
I’m pretty much sober but I have a bad feeling in my gut.
Not a sick feeling either.
A… feeling…
I hurry out of bed and the couch is empty.
‘Shit,’ I say.<
br />
I open the door and Scotty isn’t outside either.
I know Scotty.
He left.
He fucking left.
Driving drunk.
I run into the bedroom and wake Julia up.
‘Sweetheart, we have to go,’ I say. ‘Scotty fucking left. He’s driving and he’s drunk.’
Julia asks me something but I’m already trying to call Scotty.
There’s no answer.
I call two more times and then we’re out the door to my car.
‘Are you okay to drive?’ Julia asks.
‘I’m fine. I barely had anything to begin with. Son of a bitch. Scotty. He went to see some girl he likes. I told him do something crazy. But not this.’
‘You’re sure he left?’
‘His car is gone,’ I say.
‘How are we going to find him? Do you know this girl?’
‘No,’ I say. ‘But there’s one main road out of here. It’s the best I can do. You keep calling him though. And if he answers, hand me the phone.’
I start to drive.
I’m so fucking pissed off at Scotty for this.
Crazy… he could have called the girl. Texted her. He could have talked to her on the phone all night. Goddammit, if he wanted to see her, I would have taken him there and dropped him off.
But no.
Not Scotty.
He had to be tough.
He had to be crazy.
He had to be stupid.
He had…
I drive around a wide bend and I see the reflection of red and blue lights hitting the road.
That’s when my stomach dives down.
My eyes count three firetrucks. Five police vehicles. Two ambulances.
The guardrail looks like it’s missing.
Like something went through it.
I cut the wheel to the right and Julia lets out a yell.
I hit the brakes and put the car into park before it’s fully stopped.
Julia screams again.
I opened the door and run.
All I can do is run.
Someone grabs me just as I’m about to jump over the guardrail.
There’s a giant, bright light shining down the embankment.
Firefighters are calling out orders to each other.
Someone is yelling at me to get the fuck back.
HIDDEN CREEK NOW: a hidden creek high novel Page 8
