“Well, look at you,” Randall says. “I haven’t seen you in a while.”
“Yeah, hey, have you seen Dallas? Is he here?”
He shakes his head. “The little shit hasn’t been answering my calls, either. When you find him, tell him I have his twenty bucks.”
“Okay, thanks.” I walk toward the car, waiting until Randall closes the door. When he’s back inside, I go around the house and look for Dallas’s bike. It’s not here.
I drive to school and search the library looking for him. Not here, either. I try the Rusty Nail next. No bike out front, but I go inside anyway. “Hey, Gina. Have you seen Dallas?”
“Nope. That boy hasn’t been in here in a couple of weeks.” She eyes me suspiciously. Is she wondering why I’m asking her, or does she think it’s my fault he hasn’t been in?
Maybe the reservoir. That’s the only place he could be. Unless he went to his mom’s house, but I have no idea where that is.
I pull into the same parking lot Dallas parked at when he brought me here. It’s empty, but I hustle down to the beach anyway. Everything looks the same as when we left it save for the colors in the sky. I peer out over the water and recall how happy I was in Dallas’s arms when he lifted me out of the water. I don’t think I’ve ever been happier than I was with Dallas right then.
I walk over to the spot where we made love. The exact moment when I fell for Dallas. Or maybe it was the moment I realized I was already in love with him. Either way, this spot reminds me how stupid I’ve been. How much I gave up because I was afraid of being hurt. Afraid to see something in my future I didn’t want to make room for.
And I know Dallas loved me. When we were on this beach, he loved me. When he made Belle Muhler for me, he loved me. When he watched Dirty Dancing with me, he loved me. When he switched out the seat of his bike, he loved me. All the times he stroked my hair in bed, he loved me. When I fought with him about Denton, he still loved me.
I drop to my knees in the sand where we laid together and grab the grains between my fingers, fighting back the tears. He loved me. And I fought him on it. I fought him harder on pushing him back than I fought to keep him. I don’t deserve him. He’s such a better person than I am. I was lucky to have the time with him I did.
I replay the last few weeks in my head. The time we spent together, our fights, the days he passed me in class without a word, the nights I cried over him, the memorial, the funeral and burial. How he showed up to neither of them.
That’s it. Maybe he went there? It’s the only place I haven’t checked.
I run up the beach, my feet sliding and digging into the sand, and tear out of the parking lot.
When I get to the cemetery, Dallas’s bike is here, and at first I’m relieved, but then I’m overwhelmed with sorrow for him. He must really be in pain to be here. I wait in the car for him to come toward his bike, but he doesn’t, so I park and walk toward the spot his dad was laid to rest.
Dallas is kneeling in front of his dad’s grave marker when I walk up. I step slowly, unsure if I should disturb him, but a dry twig snaps underfoot.
Dallas turns around at the sound and wipes his face.
“Dallas …?”
He turns back to the headstone, sniffing before he stands and turns, facing me. “I didn’t think I’d find you here,” he says, deflecting.
“Don’t do that.”
His face so incredibly sad. I don’t say anything. I walk to him and pull him into my arms.
He folds himself around me and clutches my shoulders, smothering his head into the crook of my neck as he cries.
I hold him tight against me. So tight, fearful that I might lose him again. That he’ll never wrap his arms around me again.
But the tightest because he’s actually crying on my shoulder over the loss of his dad and it breaks my heart. I was right to come to him. He shouldn’t be alone.
When he’s done, he pulls away, wiping his face again. “Thanks for being here for me,” and then he moves to walk past me to leave.
“Dallas?”
He faces me again.
I’m afraid of what I’ll say and that he’ll still walk away from me after I’ve said it. But I’ve waited too long already. “I know it might be too late, but I love you. I am irrevocably lost in love with you. I know—”
He takes the three steps back to me in one, cups my face, and says, “Don’t speak.” The same thing I said to him when he tried to tell me how he felt on the beach. He closes off any other words with a kiss so desperate with longing and everything we’ve never said but felt this whole time.
He kisses me like he’s never kissed me before. It’s not the unspoken words I was afraid to let him say. It’s everything he’s ever felt for me without holding back a single one.
“I don’t do relationships, except with Carmyn Rafferty.”
—Dallas Brown
CARMYN and I give our final presentation report in Keating’s class. It goes off without a hitch—we’re definitely getting an A in this class. Which will make my girl very happy. That’s right. Carmyn is officially my girl now.
And my girl and I have somewhere special we’re heading after class. She doesn’t know where we’re going, though. I like it this way.
We jump on my bike. The weight of her behind me, her arms around my middle, are sensations I never want to lose again. I steer us for about an hour to the historic, luxury hotel. When we walk inside, marble floors and columns greet us. Blue light filters down from the stained glass above and splashes across the marble in each direction.
“Wow, Dallas!” Carmyn says and grabs my arm. “We’re really staying here?” She looks at me hopefully, like I might tell her it’s all a joke and turn around to go back outside.
I chuckle. “We are. All weekend.”
After how busy we’ve both been with finals and projects the last couple of weeks, we’re due for some rest. And quality alone time. My apartment would have sufficed, but the final check for Aphrodite came in not too long ago, and I guess the guy was really happy with her.
I haven’t touched Dad’s money he left me. The stocks and bonds are still in place too. I’m not sure what to do with it yet, and I don’t want to blow it like a damn idiot.
I throw the door to our room open, and Carmyn walks in. “I love it, I love it, I love it!” She spins and squeals, throwing her arms around my neck.
I walk her backward until I can close the door and then lift her up, carrying her over to the large bed framed by golden silk draperies.
I lay her down on her back, the mattress sinking under her weight. I brush strands of hair away from her face as she penetrates me with her eyes. “I never slept with James,” she says randomly. “I couldn’t follow through with it.”
It doesn’t matter to me anymore, but I’m still surprised at how glad I am that she didn’t. “I couldn’t follow through with Vicky, either. I didn’t want anyone else after I had you.”
“I love you, Dallas Brown.”
I never get sick of her sweet voice speaking those words to me. I blink and drop my body on top of hers, bending my neck to keep our gazes from breaking.
She exhales deep, a slight moan mingling within.
I kiss her neck and look back into her eyes. “How much?”
“This much,” she says as she rolls her hips and rubs her pubic bone along my thickening shaft.
That turns me on so much, but I look at her disappointed anyway and say, “Only that much, huh?”
She arches her back and pulls off her shirt. “This much,” she says with a devious grin.
I reach behind and unsnap her bra, taking it all the way off and tossing it to the floor. I drop low and lap my tongue up the crevice of her cleavage before meeting her eyes again. “That’s a little better,” I say, keeping my voice monotone. I am nowhere near bored right now, but this is part of the game we’re playing. A game that has my manhood straining in my pants, aching to be released and inside of her.
She rea
ches down and wiggles her fingers along my waistband. “Is this getting closer?” Her voice is low and seductive.
“Slightly,” I say and lift my hips off her.
She stretches her fingers lower and wraps them around my girth. “How about now?”
I sigh into her open mouth as she’s getting the words out and kiss her with as much passion as she gives me with her delicate hand.
I take off my shirt and unbutton my pants as Carmyn keeps her fingers wrapped around me. I pull the condom out of my pocket and place it on the bed above Carmyn’s head. Pants and boxers down, I kneel low above Carmyn when I undress her.
Jesus fucking Christ. This woman is so damn beautiful.
I drop my mouth to her pert nipple and suckle it, trailing my hand along her smooth thigh. I touch the velvety skin of her folds, sliding my fingers up until they’re rolling along her mound of nerves.
I kiss up her arched neck and find her lips, adjusting my hand so my thumb stays firm on her clit and so I can put my fingers inside her. Her opening is hot and slick. When my fingers pass into the core of her warm walls, she moans and tugs on my shaft in her hand—she’s ready.
I sit back so my weight is on my knees and reach up for the condom, breaking it open with my teeth.
Carmyn releases me as I put it on, and then I’m hovering over her, gliding my manhood along her moist opening. Her eyelids are heavy with desire as she rolls her hips to get me to slide inside.
I put my growth between her folds and push, slow, deep, and keep going until there is absolutely no more give before I slide out just as slowly.
She feels so good, I fight to keep my eyes from closing. Her eyelids are heavy and flutter with each of my movements. She’s beautiful and vulnerable in this position, trusting me completely to take her somewhere great, to set the pace and take care of her at the same time.
I drop down inside of her again, kiss her, and pull out almost to the point of disconnecting from her, but then push inside of her swift and deep.
She moans heartily and calls my name. “Dallas. Oh God, yeah!”
I repeat, swifter this time, to hear her cry out again. She gives it to me, and I increase in speed, gliding into her opening as she reaches between us and rubs her clit. She’s close.
I stay consistent until she screams my name and her walls clutch me inside her, tugging on the tight skin around my cock.
It feels so fucking good, my girth flexes against her walls as I come along with her.
I manage to ride out her orgasm as long as I’m going and then we’re both sweaty and heaving into each other’s mouths as we thank the other with a kiss.
I pull out and roll onto my back, not ready to move yet.
Carmyn leans over and kisses me again before sitting up and moving to get off the bed.
I grab her hips before she can stand, kissing her back, gently, tenderly.
She makes a sweet sound that resembles a purr.
I kiss her once more before letting her get up.
She stands, giving me full view of her perky ass, the arch in her back, along her waist. She’s fucking perfect. She looks back over her shoulder and grins as she struts toward the bathroom.
I snap the condom off my growing shaft and grab another before following her into the shower. We make love under the spray of the showerhead, on the floor, on the bar, on the patio, and then back in the bed. One of our asses marks nearly every damn spot of this room.
I lay splayed out on my stomach with my arm over Carmyn’s belly. I’m finally satiated. Fulfilled.
She rolls over onto her side strokes her fingers along the new crow tattoo on my back. “Does it still hurt?”
“No.”
“It’s healed up real nice. Looks amazing.”
I got the tattoo shortly after Dad died. A crow perched on top of a skull with a banner underneath reading “REDEMPTION”. The crow represents life, and the skull represents death. Nothing is certain in either. But as long as I’m living, I’ll work toward my redemption. From closing myself off from my dad, from keeping myself away from Carmyn over something we should’ve worked out a long time ago. Everything in my life where I’ve been a fucking idiot. While I still can.
I crawl off the bed and dig in my pants for my wallet before coming back to bed and dropping down next to Carmyn. I roll over to face her and grab her hand. I stroke my fingertips along her palm and the length of her fingers. Her skin is soft and delicate where mine is callused and rough. She’s everything perfect in the way I never knew I needed. “I love you, Carmyn Rafferty.”
She smiles. “I love you, Dallas Brown.”
“I don’t want to waste any more time with you. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, the most beautiful person I’ve ever met. You’ve touched my soul unlike I thought possible and made me a better man for it. I want to marry you, Carmyn, to make you my wife. Forever.”
Her eyes are filling with tears as I pull the ring I custom made just for her out of my wallet. I sit up and kneel on the bed before Carmyn, presenting the 14 karat rose gold, vine and leaf ring to her. “Carmyn Rafferty, will you marry me?”
She laughs, a tear rolling down her cheek as she comes up to her knees to meet me. “Yes!”
My heart swells so full of joy that I doubt I’ll ever be happier than I am right now. I slide the ring onto her third finger. It fits perfectly and contrasts the tone of her creamy skin better than I ever imagined it would.
Once the ring is in place, she throws her arms around me and kisses me. Her lips tell me things her voice does not, how she’ll be mine forever, how happy I’ve just made her, how much she needs me, how she never wants to live without me again.
All the things I feel for her.
We make love, Carmyn naked, wearing only her engagement ring. She’s my fiancé, soon to be my wife.
Afterward, I grin with Carmyn lying in my arms. She’s holding out her flexed hand, appraising the ring. “It’s so beautiful. How did you ever find this?”
“I didn’t find it. I made it.”
“No way! It’s perfect.” She stretches her neck to kiss me and goes back to staring at her ring.
The knotted vine along the center connects leaves and flowers around the band with small diamonds in each of the flowers, a large center stone bringing it all together. It was a bitch getting each of the smaller stones to stay in the right spot, and so was making sure all the ends were smooth enough to not snag on anything. I’m thrilled with the way it turned out, and even more so with how much she loves it.
She drops her hand to my face. “I can’t predict what my future with you will look like, but I know I’ll be happiest with you. And that’s all that matters.” She kisses me. I roll onto my back and angle myself better to kiss her deeper.
I don’t do relationships, but I’m going to marry the shit out of this woman.
“True happiness is when your life is better than anything you dreamed it’d be.”
—Carmyn Rafferty
I’M sitting in front of the mirror in my bridal gown as Ava secures the veil on top of my head. “You look gorgeous,” I say, because she does. My bridesmaid dresses are one-shoulder, floor-length gowns made of black satin. Ava looks stunning in hers.
“Me?” She eyes me in the mirror. “You look amazing.” My gown is a sleeveless, white, pulled satin corset with silver beads and white flowers trailing up my ribs and along the back, with bunched chiffon starting a couple of inches below my hips to add to the poof of the dress. It’s gorgeous. The prettiest dress I’ve ever seen.
I appraise it to see where to pin the vintage bluebird Dallas gave me last night. There’s a beaded flower over my heart. This is perfect. I clasp the pin through the satin. When Dallas gave it to me, he said it could be my something old, my something new, my something borrowed—since he wasn’t technically giving it to me until after the vows—and my something blue.
“I love it,” Ava says.
I smile at her. She’s the best maid of hono
r ever. She’s really gone above and beyond since my mom hasn’t been involved at all. Once Mom left rehab, I didn’t know how to contact her to tell her I was getting married, let alone trust I could count on her for anything to do with the wedding.
Someone knocks on the door. Fiona, my other bridesmaid and now a close friend thanks to dance, opens the door. “What are you doing here? You can’t see her, you know?”
“I know.” It’s Dallas. I grin. The little stinker. “But I can talk to her. Carmyn, can you come to the door please? I have something important to discuss with you.”
I bunch my dress and peer down at my cowboy boots. With their gorgeous blue accents on them, they were originally going to be my something blue. I walk to the door, leaving it open only a crack so we don’t see each other. “Let me feel your face first,” I say and reach my hand around the door. Dallas said he was going to shave his stubble off for the wedding. I told him if he did, he wasn’t getting married today. I used to want a man with a smooth face, but now I just want Dallas, and if he ever shaves his face, I am kicking his ass. It’s one of my favorite things about him.
My fingers wrap around his strong chin and the scruff covering it. I sigh in relief. “Good boy.”
He laughs. “Well, I just had a brilliant idea. And if I don’t mention it, we’ll never get this chance again.”
“What is it?”
“I think we should have sex one last time while you’re still Carmyn Rafferty.”
I throw my head back and laugh. “We did that last night.”
His grin is evident in his voice. “Yes, but this will be our last, last time.”
“It’s bad luck. I’m already in my dress, and there’s plenty of time later for this brilliant plan of yours.”
“Just figured I’d try because by then, you won’t be Carmyn Rafferty anymore.”
“I know, and I can’t wait,” I say giddily.
He reaches around the door and strokes my hand. “I love you.”
I kiss his fingers. “I love you too.” And I do. So much it hurts sometimes.
An hour later, Zee Zee, our wedding planner, is in my room, clapping her hands. “It’s time. Everyone’s here.”
Wicked Thing Page 18
