Fuck. Mistake.
When the hallway turned abruptly, Gage dropped to his knees, his legs suddenly too weak to support him. He only hoped the people down the hall paid him no mind. If he could just make it to…
Shit, where the hell had he been going in the first damn place?
Ok, so maybe he could sit here for a few minutes, let the tilt-a-whirl slow down first. He’d have a better chance of making it back to his feet that way.
“Gage?”
The deep, booming voice was achingly familiar, but Gage couldn’t place it. Maybe his dreams. Yes, he’d heard the voice in his dreams.
He glanced up at the form in front of him and smiled. He didn’t know why he was smiling, but he couldn’t seem to help himself.
“Get up,” the voice demanded.
“Yeah, that ain’t happenin’,” he slurred. Shit, his lips were numb too. If only the rest of him would follow suit, he’d be in business.
A strong hand gripped his bicep and pulled, easily lifting him from the floor. Gage had to work to get his feet under him, but somehow he managed.
“Fuck.”
Yeah, Gage was thinking the exact same thing as he tipped sideways, the floor suddenly coming up to high five his face much faster than he anticipated.
♂♂
Travis managed to catch Gage’s dead weight milliseconds before he face planted on the tile floor. Every muscle in his body screamed as he tried to hold him up and then suddenly he had help, the heavy weight lightening considerably.
Tag had come to assist, steadying Gage’s lax form and helping Travis maneuver him down the hall. After fishing the keys to his apartment from his pocket, Travis and Tag eased Gage inside before depositing him on the couch.
“Looks like tonight’s off, huh?” Tag questioned, but to Travis’ surprise the man didn’t sound disappointed.
Travis nodded, his eyes glued to the man passed out cold on his couch. He wasn’t leaving Gage, so yeah, the night was pretty well shot to hell.
“I’ll let McKenna know,” Tag said as he was shutting the door behind him.
“Mother fucker. What the hell have you done?” Travis kept his voice low, but part of him wished Gage could hear him and would wake up so they could hash this out the way he’d imagined it.
And he wasn’t thinking about pummeling Gage into the ground any longer.
He settled for sitting on the edge of the coffee table and staring at Gage as the man gave himself over to alcohol induced dreams. He didn’t envy him. Gage would certainly be hating himself in the morning. Although, Travis was pretty sure, based on how intoxicated Gage was, he’d been battling his own inner demons for a little while and probably wouldn’t feel much worse than he had already.
Why Travis sympathized with him, he had no idea.
He should hate Gage for what he did. He wasn’t happy, that was a given, but looking at the man now, his body relaxed, his dark eyelashes fanning out over rugged cheekbones, he felt something else. What, he didn’t know. It wasn’t like he could put names to his emotions considering he’d spent the better part of his adult life running from exactly that same thing.
But, for some reason, despite the hell he’d put himself through for so long, seeing Gage threatened something inside of him. Something he wasn’t ready to let go of. The same reaction he’d had to him each time their lips had touched, no matter how briefly.
Travis didn’t care that they knew so little about each other, or that Gage seemed compelled to keep himself unavailable by engaging in threesomes with Kaleb and Zoey. There was still a connection there, something that Travis found himself drawn to. He wanted to experiment, to see if what he felt wasn’t just a figment of his imagination or a reckless attempt to satisfy the part of himself he felt would never be satisfied.
It wasn’t that he wanted to care about anyone, especially a man he had such a prominent physical attraction to, but ever since the first time they kissed in the Walker Demo office, Travis found himself thinking about Gage more and more often. He wondered where he was, what he was doing, who he was doing it with. And ever since Gage pulled Kylie into his life, he wondered whether there was a reason. As though he’d been running from this his whole life, and suddenly he was full circle. Right back where he started from.
Kylie had been the beginning, and now she was front and center in his life once more, although she didn’t actually know that yet. Suddenly, all of those thoughts about Kylie and Gage seemed as though they were real. Almost as though the path he’d been on all these years was finally rounding the curve and he was about to find himself knee deep in exactly what he’d spent most of his life searching for.
Was that the plan? Did all of this happen for a reason? Were the three of them supposed to cross paths like this? Shit. Travis did not want to get his hopes up, but he couldn’t help but wonder if everything was finally working itself out.
Only he didn’t think the two people involved would give a shit about what he wanted one way or the other.
Leaning forward, Travis brushed Gage’s hair back from his face gently. It was a move he didn’t think himself capable of, but he didn’t want to pull back either. “Damn you, Gage,” Travis whispered. “What the hell have I got myself into?”
“Travis?” Gage’s slurred, barely discernable voice drifted up from the couch, and Travis held his breath. Did he know where he was?
“You said it would happen again,” Gage continued to mutter, his words running together but still clear. “You fucking promised.”
Yes, it’s exactly what he’d told Gage several months before. If he’d had his way, things would’ve progressed a lot further before now. Only Travis hadn’t been able to get in touch with Gage. No matter how hard he tried. Not that Gage would ever believe him. Travis got the impression Gage didn’t think highly of him.
Convincing Gage would be harder than he thought. He just wondered whether he had the guts to pursue him.
Full circle. The words echoed in the back of his mind.
Travis closed his eyes, slid the backs of his fingers down Gage’s cheek before pulling his hand away and sighing.
Chapter Five
♀♂
Kylie placed the lid back on her nail polish as she admired her bright teal blue toenails. Half an hour ago, blue had seemed like the perfect color to help boost her mood. Heaven knew she needed it. Had she given in to the anger and frustration that had been boiling in her blood, she’d have gone with red. Luckily, she was more optimistic than that and was hoping this would liven her spirits.
Optimism. Funny how she was once again forcing herself to ignore the dark, turbulent emotions curling in her chest and rather focusing on what tomorrow would bring. Without a plan, she still wasn’t quite sure what that was going to be though.
Sitting on the front porch swing, painting her toenails and drinking iced tea seemed like the perfect way to pass a Friday afternoon. It wasn’t like she had anything pressing to do, considering she’d pretty much pushed every other job offer out when she originally agreed to do Gage’s renovation.
Bastard.
Kylie’s phone rang, startling her from her wandering thoughts. Glancing down at the caller id, she noticed it wasn’t the same number she’d been ignoring for the last couple of weeks. No, this time the caller was her sister and a genuine smile tipped her lips as she hit the talk button and held the phone to her ear.
“Hey, Jess,” she answered.
“Kylie! Oh my God! I can’t believe you answered the phone.”
Kylie giggled at her sister’s dramatic response. “Why wouldn’t I answer?”
“Well, let’s see. I tried calling you last week, no answer. I tried calling on Tuesday and again on Wednesday this week, nothing. Where’ve you been?”
“Right here,” she answered. Yes, there had been a few days she had ignored all calls that came in, so it was likely that she’d missed Jessie’s calls as well. Oops.
“Where’s here?” her sister asked.
“At home. Why?”
“No reason.”
Right. As if Jessie would ask if she didn’t need something. Since Kylie was just as protective of her baby sister as their father was, she immediately wondered if everything was all right. “You ok?”
“Peachy,” Jessie answered, sounding definitely not peachy.
“Where are you?” It was Kylie’s turn to question whereabouts.
“I’m at home,” she said softly. “But Dad’s not home. He’s been working a lot these days, and I don’t want to stay with Melissa so would you mind if I come visit?”
Kylie knew that Jessie had a hard time interacting with their father’s latest girlfriend even though they lived under the same roof. As far as Kylie was concerned, Melissa was a keeper and as long as she made Joe happy, she hoped he would eventually settle down for good with this one. But Jessie wasn’t keen on the idea of sharing their father’s love with anyone else, especially another girlfriend.
“You can come down.” Kylie loved when her sister visited. They didn’t get to spend nearly enough time together as it was.
With Jessie finishing up her last year of college, working for some big technology company in Dallas, she knew she had to jump at every available opportunity because her sister was a busy woman. Unless Jessie decided to move south, which Kylie didn’t see happening anytime soon, she wasn’t going to get to spend much time with her in the near future.
“Are you serious?” Jessie sounded relieved and quite sad all at the same time.
“Of course I am,” Kylie replied. “When are you coming?”
“I’ve got a week of vacation, and I sure could use some time away. So, if it’s cool with you, I’ll see you the first week of June?”
“Wow, I thought you meant soon. That’s a ways away.”
“I know, but I’ve got to wrap up a couple of things before I take off. I’ve got the time scheduled.”
“Well, you know you’re welcome anytime. I can’t wait to see you, Jess.”
“Thanks, Ky.”
“Sure thing, sweetie. Call me when you’re on your way down so I know to expect you.”
With that, Kylie hung up from her sister, setting her cell phone on the seat beside her and once again staring down at her toes. She grabbed the bottle of clear polish and gave each toe a once over as she replayed the conversation with her sister over again.
Why had she sounded so sad? Surely it wasn’t because Joe was gone because he was an airline pilot, it’s what he did. He was gone more than he was home, and this wouldn’t have been the first time Jessie was home alone with Melissa. The woman had lived with Kylie’s father for the better part of the last six months. Wait, no. Make that a year. Wow. They’d been living together for almost a year now. That had to be some sort of record for her dad – at least since Kylie’s mom left.
“You look like a country song.”
The deep tenor of that particular voice got her back up as soon as she recognized it, and Kylie looked up to see the voice’s owner walking up the path to her front porch. Or did they consider that swaggering? Either way, she didn’t want to keep looking at the way the man rocked a pair of jeans and boots. She was supposed to be pissed off at him.
It was a true testament to how far lost she was to her own thoughts that she hadn’t even heard his truck pull up. Kylie considered questioning why he was there, but then thought better of it. She had absolutely no desire to talk to him. Not today, not tomorrow. Not ever. So it didn’t matter what prompted him to waltz back up to her doorstep. In a minute, he was going to get up close and personal with her front door.
Glancing down at her toes to see if they were dry enough to allow her to walk without ruining what she’d spent the last thirty minutes on, Kylie knew she was going to take a chance if she did. Damn that man.
Why did he have to show up and ruin a perfectly good pedicure?
Daring to look up at Gage, Kylie met his penetrating gaze and refused to look away although the ache in her heart throbbed anew. “Why are you here?”
“To talk?”
“I’m pretty sure your actions speak louder than your words, Mr. Matthews. I have nothing more to say to you.”
One would’ve thought that her anger would have subsided because she’d had two and a half weeks to cool off. And that was after the solid week she’d spent taking her anger out on the cabinet she’d been restoring in her spare time. Needless to say, the cabinet wasn’t being restored anymore – it was now in pieces. On the floor of her garage.
But, remembering the incident and now seeing the man who was personally responsible for turning her world upside down only intensified the deep, black rage she’d been consumed with.
For a solid decade, Kylie had worked to banish all thoughts of Travis Walker from her heart and her mind, and for the last half, she had to think she’d done fairly well. In fact, even the worst of her lonely nights had been getting better. However, rather than the memories living in that tiny box collecting dust in the far recesses of her brain, Travis was now front and center in her mind. Seeing him, even briefly, caused her heart to ache all over again.
Based on his reaction to seeing her, Kylie was sure Travis hadn’t been through the traumatizing hell that she had when he walked out of her life without looking back. It hadn’t been as easy for her to get over him as it apparently was for him to get over her. That knowledge didn’t make the ache ease.
Knowing her mental health was on the line, Kylie had given herself over to the heartache that returned full force for the first few days after the debacle in Coyote Ridge. She had screamed and cried and stomped through the house, refusing to give in to the sadness, but rather embracing the anger. Seeing Travis face to face, she felt as though not a single day had passed, and walking away from him again without so much as two words between them was just as devastating as the last time. The only difference… she was the one doing the walking this time.
Ten years ago, she might’ve worried that her heart was too fragile to handle that sort of trauma. However, somewhere along the way, the scar tissue had hardened, encasing all of the scattered pieces and making her whole again. Maybe not entirely, but considerably better off than before.
That didn’t mean seeing him was easy. Far from it.
Travis looked the same, only a decade older, and as much as she didn’t want to admit it, the years had been kind to him. The only difference she had noted was that she didn’t witness the quick, easy going smile she remembered. Even without that seductive tilt of his lips and crinkle at the corner of his eyes, he was just as freakishly handsome as she remembered. Probably more so.
There had been a guardian angel present that day though. His name was Beau Bennett.
Gage was the one to drop her in the middle of hell, but Beau – a close friend of Travis’ brother from what he told her – had insisted on getting her out of there. He seemed just as angry on her behalf, and that had helped ease some of the pain for the interminably long drive back to her house in Killeen.
Beau was cute and surprisingly funny, and she got the impression he was trying to make her smile. Refusing to let anyone else see her fall apart, Kylie had pasted on a smile, laughed when appropriate and tried to enjoy herself because she had known even then that it was only a matter of time.
It was after he dropped her at the house, insisting on walking her to her door, that all of the memories from so long ago came flooding back in a rush. Wave upon wave of anger and pain had battered her, knocking her down and dragging her under until she wasn’t sure she could breathe anymore.
Still, nearly three weeks later, the lingering effects of the stunt Gage had pulled still irked her. Sort of like a month long hangover and no amount of aspirin was going to help it either.
But now, seeing him standing on the bottom step of her front porch, she was reminded of exactly who had brought the long buried misery to her doorstep all these years later. So if he was here to talk, she was pretty sure she couldn’t emotionally handle any
more conversations with him.
“I’m sorry,” Gage said, his tone reflecting what sounded like remorse.
Sorry? His timing sucked.
“I bet,” Kylie retorted snidely. It was a little late to apologize in her opinion.
“Kylie, I really am sorry –”
Kylie was pretty sure he could stand there all day and say the words, and she still wouldn’t feel a thing for this man. The outer layer of ice that had formed around her heart and her soul was ten inches thick at this point. As far as she was concerned, he could go to –
Wait. Actually, she did have one question...
“Why’d you do it?”
The question had burned on the tip of her tongue ever since she climbed into Beau Bennett’s kickass truck and listened to Florida Georgia Line stomp out a cool country beat on the way home.
“Do what?”
Lord, please grant me patience. Please don’t let me lose it right here on this man.
“Seriously, Gage? You show up at my house, telling me you want to talk and you ask me that?” Kylie stared up at him, anger and frustration flowing like a raging river threatening to spill over its banks.
She wasn’t sure she’d felt this much resentment for one person in all of her life. Not even Travis after he walked out with the flimsiest of breakup excuses she’d ever had the pleasure of receiving. At least he hadn’t been dishonest about it. She might not have liked that he did walk away, but he had the decency to tell her, rather than blindsiding her the way Gage had.
Propping himself on the railing that outlined her porch, Gage sat at an angle, his hands resting on one leg as he stared out at the yard, or maybe something beyond that only he could see, Kylie wasn’t sure.
She wasn’t going to prompt him to talk. If he had something to say, she was sure he would say it. Glancing down at her toes she figured he had about three minutes tops and then she was going back in the house and calling it a night. She didn’t care if it was – Kylie thumbed her phone to remove the screen saver – three o’clock in the afternoon.
Travis - An Alluring Indulgence Novel Page 5
