Back when he first met Kylie, he spent hours talking to her. They talked about where she grew up, her parents, his parents, her sister. They talked about so many things, yet he somehow managed to make sure she never got too close. He’d been young, stupid and downright scared shitless about the military. Not that he would admit the last part to anyone. And when he found himself in the arms of the sweetest, most beautiful woman in the entire world, he allowed himself to think it could be forever. That she might just be the one woman who could change him. At the very least, the one woman who could accept him.
Except, he never gave her the chance.
So, instead of letting Kylie into his life, he managed to keep her out. Entirely. Looking at her now, Travis couldn’t help but wonder why. Ever since Gage brought her to Kaleb’s house, he’d been wondering the same thing.
Just the sight of her stirred up old feelings that he would prefer to keep inside the closed book that contained all of the stories of his past. The problem was, there were so many feelings coursing through him, Travis didn’t know which way was up. His ideas on how a relationship – his relationships – would work weren’t the same as others.
As much as he wanted to think a relationship with Kylie could be normal, Travis knew that wasn’t the case.
Wanting her had never been the issue.
Keeping her was.
Chapter Eighteen
♀♂
Kylie’s head was spinning. Between the sexy, seductive scent of him washing over her, along with the explanation she had waited to hear for so long, and then the kiss…
Kylie suddenly – and inexplicably – wanted to jump his bones.
There was a myriad of emotions churning in her – sadness, hope, frustration. Desire. Yes, definitely lots and lots of the last one. They all swirled together confusing her about what she was doing here. How she got here. And it had nothing to do with the drive from Killeen.
Just that morning, she woke up with the sole purpose of seeing Travis so she could understand what made him walk out on her all those years ago. The bottom of her life had been ripped out from beneath her feet just three weeks into what was supposed to be a marriage to the man she’d given her heart and soul to. And now she was here, reliving it all over again.
Although life altering, his explanation was not what she thought it would be. She had expected him to admit that he was gay and to tell her that he was in love with Gage – though she didn’t think that would’ve been the case back then.
That didn’t happen.
No, this was Travis Walker. He had to be much more complicated than that.
Without a doubt, she knew she should be coming to terms with the end of their decade long ghost of a relationship. Travis was offering her explanations, but for some reason, hope was swelling in her chest, making her want things she knew she shouldn’t want. The kiss didn’t help because… well, because it rocked her world even if she had to pretend otherwise.
If it weren’t for all of the things she had recently learned about Travis, thanks to the many articles she’d read on the internet, Kylie would swear he was the same man she met so long ago. Handsome, surly, and vulnerable beneath all of the rugged exterior. And to top it off, from what she could tell, Travis was just as confused now as he was then.
Only now he wanted to talk.
And she was hanging on every word, trying to wrap her mind around what he was saying. His reasoning was not at all what she expected. Granted, Travis was still just as cryptic as always. Despite the additional pieces she was trying to work into the scrambled puzzle of the worst time of her life, Kylie still had a hard time rationalizing what he was saying.
Saddened by her wayward thoughts, she stared out the window, watching as the sky darkened even more, the dark water in front of her crashed against the bank as the wind picked up, a storm threatening. The tension inside of the truck seemed to be churning in much the same way.
She wasn’t sure where this conversation was going, but at least she knew one thing for sure... It didn’t matter how much time had separated the two of them, Kylie still wanted Travis with a passion she couldn’t deny.
The foregone look of regret on Travis’ face had Kylie holding her breath and wishing that there might be a chance for something good to come out of this. Although she couldn’t quite wrap her head around what he was telling her, it was more than she’d ever seen from him, even when they spent the better part of a year getting to know one another.
Or rather he spent that year getting to know her. Little did Kylie know at the time, but Travis hadn’t shared any part of himself with her. He’d purposely left out so many personal things and seeing how he was acting now, he’d held back emotionally as well.
She was confused and more than a little angry. Which emotion was more prevalent, she wasn’t sure either. Hearing that he was bisexual and that she wasn’t the reason he walked away had lifted a weight the size of Texas right off of her chest. But his revelation didn’t make it any easier to understand what that would’ve meant for them. She couldn’t shake the thought that had he talked to her, they might’ve had a chance.
No matter what came out of this conversation, Kylie was relieved that Travis had finally given her what she felt she deserved all those years ago. An explanation would’ve made it easier. Maybe. Ok, probably not, but she had to believe that it would have helped to justify his reason for walking away.
Hearing the words – ménage, polyamory – she knew what they meant. She wasn’t as naïve as people liked to believe. She read books. Some very interesting books, and like many women, those things did funny things to her insides, even if she wouldn’t be the first to admit it.
She had to give him some benefit of the doubt, although it pained her to do so. At eighteen, she hadn’t been emotionally equipped to make the life altering decision to marry him in the first place, but he somehow trusted her enough to let her. Still he hadn’t trusted her enough to share his true self with her.
Would she have freaked out? Probably.
Would she have been prepared to share him? No, not at the time.
If things were different, would she be prepared to share him now? She couldn’t answer that question. She had never found herself in a position to make a choice like that. And when all was said and done, Kylie didn’t know enough about him to be able to say one way or another. Hell, she didn’t know enough about him to decide whether she’d want to be with him if he weren’t bisexual.
She did know herself though and Kylie wasn’t the same girl she was back then. Where Travis had stayed the same for all these years, still looking for something he thought was out of his reach, Kylie had changed in ways Travis would never understand. Broken hearts to the extent she’d experienced tended to make people do strange things. Kylie’s shattered heart had qualified.
They sat in silence for a few minutes, both of them staring out into the bleakness that consumed the choppy waters. From the looks of it, the sky was going to break open at any moment. It seemed somewhat fitting, considering her heart felt the same way.
When the urge to get closer to him overcame her, Kylie opted to go with it this time, rather than ignore it. At this point, she was risking everything, and for some reason, just as it had been ten years before, she was drawn to him.
Unbuckling her seatbelt, Kylie turned to face Travis as he stared out into the ever darkening sky, purposely not looking at her. He must’ve noticed her moving because he glanced her way, but didn’t turn his head, which she took as a good sign. He was aware of her the same way she was aware of him.
Without asking permission and without explaining anything, Kylie kept moving, unable to stop herself until she was straddling Travis’ lap, the steering wheel jarring into her back. There wasn’t enough room, but suddenly she was adamant that she make this work.
“What are you doing, baby?” His words were a raspy, a soothing balm to her overexcited nerve endings. He called her baby. She’d always loved when he called her t
hat.
“I’m getting closer.”
He didn’t ask why, and he didn’t argue, which Kylie was grateful for. If he were to push too hard, she’d lose her nerve, and right then and there, she just wanted to put her mouth to his and get lost in his kiss.
She was somewhat disappointed when he didn’t make the first move, but she held out, keeping her eyes locked on his.
“I’m willing, Kylie. Don’t doubt that,” he whispered. “But you’re gonna have to take what you want, baby.”
He didn’t have to tell her twice.
With trembling fingers, she removed his hat, setting it on the dash behind her to keep from crushing it. Kylie slid her hands along the chiseled edge of his jaw, letting the dark stubble scratch her palm as she eased her hands behind his head, twining her fingers in the cool, silky strands of his hair. Pulling him forward, she met him halfway until their mouths met, joined. The kiss was heart wrenchingly sweet and explosive all at the same time and Kylie found herself drowning in the remembered taste of him.
God how she had missed him. For so, so long, she’d dreamed about what it would be like to be in his arms once again. To hold him close, to feel his lips against her skin. After long, delectable minutes, Kylie pulled back, hoping he was going to take the reins because honestly, she had no experience with this. Being the aggressor didn’t come easy for her, but she was trying.
“I want to taste your skin,” he groaned. “I want to hold your breasts in my hand and suck your nipples until you’re begging me for more.”
Kylie pulled her hands back from his hair, quickly and easily unhooking the small buttons on her blouse until she could lower it down her arms. Somewhere through the short time they’d been together, her inhibitions had turned into smoke and wafted away on the sultry summer breeze.
“Just like that,” Travis said as he stared at her chest, his hands coming up to touch her.
Sucking in a breath and exhaling a moan, Kylie got lost in the feel of his warm, callused fingers against her skin. The way he palmed her breasts in both hands before lowering her bra until the sensitive mounds spilled over the top, her nipples hardening just from the way he was looking at her.
“You’re still just as perfect. But I knew you would be. I’ve waited so long to do this again. So long.”
Kylie didn’t think Travis was even talking to her, but the words kept coming until he pressed his lips to the puckered tip, sliding his tongue slowly in a large circle. When his eyes darted up and met hers, he wrapped his lips around her nipple and sucked, making her moan, her head going back as a bolt of electricity sparked from her nipple to her clit.
Yup, inhibitions have left the building. Placing her hands on the back of his head, she held him close to her breast, unwilling to let him go as she ground her hips down, the evidence of his arousal pressing between her legs.
“Travis.” His name fell from her lips as he rocked his hips in rhythm with hers, a delightful friction that had her body catching fire, getting closer and closer to release despite the fact they still had their clothes on.
“Say it again,” he urged as he switched, applying the same fastidious attention to her other breast.
She was so overwhelmed with pleasure that she couldn’t get the word out.
“Say my name again, Kylie. I’m begging you. Say it.”
The plea in his tone ripped her to shreds and Kylie pulled his head up, pressing her lips to his. “Travis,” she breathed his name against his mouth, then slid her tongue in behind it. “Don’t stop. Please don’t stop.”
Travis’ mouth trailed heavenly warmth down her neck, over her collarbone, until once again he was laving her nipple with his tongue. When the windows began to fog, and the air conditioner was failing to cool them down, Travis released her breast from his mouth, staring up at her as she continued grinding against the hard ridge of his erection.
His hips began to rock more insistently as he gripped her ass, pulling her closer as the friction intensified and Kylie didn’t slow down. Grinding down harder, she let the friction against her clit drive her higher… Higher.
“That’s it, baby. Come for me. You’re so damn sexy.”
“Travis. Oh, yes. Oh... Travis!” Kylie couldn’t hold back, couldn’t stem the violent eruption that started in her core and shot out through her arms, her legs, her fingertips.
“You’re so fucking beautiful when you come,” he whispered against her ear as he held her close, obviously realizing that she desperately needed him to hold her together. She just wasn’t sure he realized exactly how close she was to falling apart.
Dear God, what had she done?
Not five minutes later, Kylie had regained some of her composure. Not much, but some. She managed to slip off of Travis’ lap and drop into the seat beside him, not bothering to move to the other side closer to the door. His big hand landed on her thigh, squeezing gently as he leaned his head back against the seat, his eyes closed. She wondered whether he even realized he was doing it.
“Thank you,” she whispered.
“For what?”
“For… that.”
His sexy chuckle echoed in the small space. “Baby, it was my pleasure.”
Neither of them said anything more for several minutes as their breaths slowed, became more regulated. Before she could ask him what they were supposed to do at that point, Kylie saw movement out of the corner of her eye, followed by the throaty rumble of an engine. Turning slightly, she saw a white Chevy truck pulling down toward the bank. The truck was familiar, and the identity of the driver, although she couldn’t see him through the rain splattered window, was confirmed when Travis cursed under his breath.
Hmmm, now if that wasn’t perfect timing.
Gage Matthews.
As if her day couldn’t get any worse.
“Stay here,” Travis ordered her seconds before he slipped out of the truck, grabbing his hat from the dash before he left.
Her immediate thought was to tell him to go to hell and follow just to prove that she wouldn’t take orders from him. But she didn’t get out of the truck. No, her shirt and bra were still askew, so she hurriedly put them back in place, redoing the buttons she’d released just minutes ago. Once she was presentable again, Kylie satisfied herself by turning in her seat and watching as Gage’s looming form climbed out of his truck, the two men meeting just a few feet away from the big white four-door Chevy. She took advantage of the few minutes to try and get herself together mentally now that she was physically in order once more.
God, she just had an orgasm. By dry humping Travis. Her face flushed from embarrassment. The last time she had done that, she had been a teenager. The irony was that it was with the same man now as it had been then.
She wasn’t sure she was going to be able to get out of the truck. Facing one of them was almost impossible, facing them both at the same time was going to be hell.
Distraction came by way of watching their interaction. From what she could tell, this wasn’t a happy reunion, and she wondered what had happened the night before when she left the two of them at Moonshiners.
Based on the expression on Gage’s too handsome face, he looked like he was ready to defend himself if it came down to it. She couldn’t see Travis’ face because he was turned away from her, but she could tell by the hard line of his powerful body that he was strung as tight as a bow.
Considering the last time she saw the two men together, they’d been confronting her after she witnessed them kissing in a dark hallway. The memory came flooding back, and Kylie suddenly felt ashamed.
Had Travis and Gage…? She let the thought trail off. It was clear they wanted each other. How did that work? How did they want one another and her too? She knew based on what she felt in recent days, months even, that they were feeling something when they were with her. They were. She hadn’t imagined it.
Surely they weren’t playing her to piss off each other.
Were they?
God, she hoped not.
>
Beads of water began running faster down the glass as the heavens split open, but neither man made a move to seek shelter from the downpour. A sudden desire to hear what they were saying had her sliding closer to the door, prepared to get out of the truck, but a bright flash of lightning, followed by a booming crash of thunder had her pausing.
As though the storm’s fury was the signal, the two men suddenly collided, although she never saw Gage move. He didn’t seem to be pushing back, but Travis had Gage pinned against the door of his truck within seconds. Their cowboy hats hid their faces, but she could see the strain in Travis’ shoulders through the black t-shirt that was plastered against his skin, soaked completely through.
Whatever they were saying to one another, it appeared to be fueled by frustration, and when Travis grabbed Gage by the shirt collar, she couldn’t sit passively by any longer. Rushing out of the truck, Kylie closed the distance between her and them, another bolt of lightning flashing brightly. She could taste the electricity in the air. Her scalp tingled, and the hair on her arms stood on end from how close the strike was.
When her eyes met Gage’s for a brief second, she could see the same confusion she’d seen last night when he realized she was standing in the bar.
Was there something between these two men? Something more than some passionate kisses that would make Gage deceive them both? Or was he merely dealing with Travis’ anger the same way he’d dealt with hers? He deserved every ounce of their outrage after what he’d done: forcing their paths to cross once again when they both knew that their distance was for the best.
As she stood a few feet away, Kylie couldn’t help but remember what Travis had told her in the truck. He was bisexual. His words echoed inside her head: And what would you have told me, Kylie? Would you have put your arms around me and said that it was all right for me to feel like that? That you’d be willing to share me? Share yourself with another man?
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