by Shayla Black
“Thanks, but aren’t you supposed to be healing?”
He waved her away. “I’m healed enough. These stitches will be gone soon, and the worst of the soreness is behind me. Clearly, I’m going to live, though there are a couple of Mexican cartel thugs who are bummed about that.”
Someone had tried to kill him, and he joked about it?
Maybe he had to in order to process the day-to-day danger. Or maybe it really didn’t bother him.
“Wow, and I was just wishing I could extend my showers a bit longer. Your trouble makes mine seem silly.”
“Hey, I don’t have to worry about any human but myself, so that makes my job way easier. You have precious cargo there.” He smiled softly and caressed her baby’s cheek with a big finger. “Hi, Hallie. Aren’t you a cutie?”
Tessa’s heart flipped. Sexy, protective, and good with kids?
Or he feels sorry for you and thinks babies are cute. Don’t read too much into it.
A glance down told her that Hallie stared at Zy with huge eyes. The infant didn’t interact with many men. Her pediatrician was female. Same with most of the people who had visited since she’d been born. Well, except the colonel. Was it Zy’s deep voice that had her baby girl so entranced? The flash of his white teeth? Those intense blue eyes?
“Looks like she’s a flirt, too,” Tessa quipped.
Hallie blinked and went right back to staring at Zy as if he were the eighth wonder of the world.
He laughed and stroked her chin. “She’s good at it. Aren’t you, pretty girl?”
Her baby smiled and giggled, batting her wispy lashes at Zy, which made them both laugh.
“I’m going to have to teach you to be a little less transparent about your flirting, sweet pea.” She kissed her daughter’s head. “Really, thank you for doing the dishes.”
“I should be thanking you. I appreciated the meal.”
Tessa didn’t know what to say. A silent moment passed. Neither moved or spoke, and she felt herself falling into his eyes.
Wrong, bad, and so, so stupid.
She cleared her throat. “If you’ll follow me, I’ll show you where to find everything you need for a shower.”
He backed away with a respectful nod and followed her down the hall. Tessa was aware of him, mere steps and breaths behind her. She tried not to let his nearness rattle her, especially since this attraction was surely one-sided.
When she reached the spare bathroom, she pointed to the cabinet above the commode. “Towels and washcloths up here, along with a fresh bar of soap.”
“Thanks.”
She turned back to him with a nod and noticed a few things: First, the spare shower was the size of a postage stamp. She’d never realized how small it was before. Would Zy actually fit in there? Second, he seemed somehow closer and she couldn’t quite breathe. Third, he was blocking the door.
“If you, um…have any trouble with the shower, let me know.”
“Trouble?”
“You’re big and…” Picturing him naked with water sluicing down all those undoubtedly hard, bronzed muscles was derailing her train of thought. She’d known her hormones had been screwed up since giving birth, but having him so close wasn’t helping.
His sexy smirk had her heart kicking up a notch. “I’ll manage.”
“Okay.”
Still, he didn’t move, didn’t speak. Their eyes met.
“I need to, um…” She gestured toward the hall.
“Oh, sure.” He stepped to let her pass.
Once she exited the little bathroom and put space between them, she could breathe again. Her body temperature seemed to drop about ten degrees.
How was she going to prevent making an idiot of herself around him?
“If you’d like to shower up, I’ll look at your wounds and change your bandages afterward.”
“That’s not necessary.”
She gave him a wry smile. “The colonel made me promise I would at least once a day.”
“That underhanded bastard.”
“He was pretty sure you weren’t doing it.”
Zy sighed. “So he made sure you would.”
“Pretty much.”
“All right. Give me ten.”
“I’ll just be watching TV.” And trying not to imagine you naked.
Zy sent her a mock salute and stepped inside the bathroom again. Tessa settled into a recliner with Hallie on her lap and turned on the TV. She’d missed the end of the cooking show she’d been watching but found another one with the same brash British chef. Absently, she bounced her baby on her lap and picked her phone off the nearby table to find a text from the colonel. Quickly, she assured him that all was well.
And then…she had nothing to do except think about Zy. Stripping off his shirt to bare his strong torso. Removing his jeans and sliding down his underwear to reveal hard muscles. He’d be hot everywhere. Hard everywhere. Big everywhere.
And good lord, her imagination was getting the best of her.
She grabbed the remote and changed channels, finding a silly show about one man dating a hoard of women in his supposed attempt to find a wife. He pranced into the swimming pool, followed by his harem, all seemingly vying for his attention—or media exposure. The guy wasn’t unattractive.
But Zy was way hotter.
And she needed to stop thinking about him as anything other than her bodyguard and co-worker.
“I’m ready,” he called behind her.
Given how achy her body was in places it shouldn’t be, she was, too. But those were her rebellious hormones talking. She wasn’t having sex with him.
The doctor cleared you to resume all normal activity.
She had, but nope. Not happening.
Tessa stood. “Let me set Hallie on her activity mat and find my first aid supplies.”
As soon as her baby girl was happily engaged on the bright mat, Tessa turned to face Zy and stopped—moving, breathing, thinking.
He stood in front of her wearing a pair of black low-slung sweatpants—and nothing else. His five o’clock shadow inched onto his thick neck, which gave way to two thick slabs of bronze muscles. Both bulging shoulders were covered in tribal tattoos that ran down his beefy arms, flanking abs so ridiculously taut calling them a six-pack would be an insult. He even had those notches above his hips that made her drool.
Mercy me!
“Where do you want to do this?”
On the bed? Against the wall?
But he wasn’t asking about sex, and she needed to stop thinking about it. “Why don’t you sit on the sofa? Are the wounds on your back?”
“Mostly, yeah.” He sauntered closer, closer, sat on the edge of her soft couch, then sent her an expectant stare.
First aid kit. Right. “Two seconds.”
Tessa whirled away and drew in a breath, trying to calm herself. On the top shelf of her pantry, she found her first aid supplies. Since she wasn’t sure what he needed, she grabbed everything, washed her hands, then turned back to Zy.
He watched her, stare unsettlingly direct and unwavering. “You okay?”
“Of course.” But his question implied that he’d noticed her staring. She tried to break the tension with a smile. “It’s just a little odd having a half-naked stranger in my house.”
“I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable. As soon as we’re done, I’ll toss on a shirt.”
“It’s fine.” Except she’d have to touch him first.
Tessa laid all the supplies on her coffee table, then scooted in behind Zy, staring at the wide expanse of his back. He’d been injured more than once. A collection of scars—some fresh, some faded—littered the landscape of his skin, but she barely noticed. His shoulders were broad and beefy, the right one crisscrossed with a series of scrapes, stitches, and bruises. And his muscles had muscles. From there, a series of ripples and bulges flanked his strong spine as his body tapered to narrow hips.
She sat frozen. She’d only ever seen anything like him in a
magazine.
“That bad?” he asked.
His question jolted her out of her trance. “Just trying to decide what might work best. It’s scabbed over, but I see signs of infection trying to set in. Give me a minute.”
“Sure.”
Tessa did her best to gather her wits, dousing a cotton pad with some hydrogen peroxide. As she pressed it to his wounds, she glanced at the other set of stitches just above his ear, much harder to detect as the hair he’d had brutally buzz cut all over grew around it.
“How did you get injured?” she asked as she cleaned that spot as well.
“This time? Bryant, Walker, Trees, and I were playing dodge the RPG in Mexico. I nearly lost.”
She already knew better than to ask why they’d been down there. “RPG? Like a rocket launcher?”
“More or less. Cartels have no sense of humor.”
Of course not, and she didn’t know how he could.
“Anyway, shrapnel and debris from the ground beside the impact point sprayed up and tagged me. Some damn rock hit my head, too. I had a concussion and I apparently bled like a bitch. Scared Trees to death. But I made fun of him later for panicking at all the blood.”
She blinked. They’d been in a dangerous situation, and he could have been killed. Yet Zy had ribbed his fellow operative about it? “Seriously?”
“Yeah. Of course, he made fun of me for passing out. But I still owe him since he had to drag my unconscious ass onto our getaway chopper.”
Tessa pressed a hand to her chest. “How do you deal with so much danger?”
He shrugged, those big shoulders moving as she reached for the antibiotic ointment and unscrewed the cap.
“Part of the job. I’m used to it. Thanks for being gentle back there. Trees was a lot less nice my first night or two out of the hospital. I told him to knock that shit off or I’d repay him once the shoe was on the other foot.”
Not if, but when. That blew Tessa’s mind. She’d been incredibly rattled by Cash breaking her window and threatening her. Zy faced death head-on frequently; all the guys did. Somehow, she’d just never realized how truly dangerous their work was.
“I’m doing my best,” she promised as she squeezed some ointment onto her fingers.
And now she had to touch him. Direct skin-to-skin contact.
Tessa swallowed and her fingers shook as she lifted her hand to him. At first contact, he shuddered.
She jerked away. “Did I hurt you?”
“No. Just wasn’t expecting it.”
He’d known her touch was coming. Was he…affected by it? The way she was affected by him?
It doesn’t matter, she reminded herself as she applied ointment to his wounds again. The stitches were hard and sturdy, helping his skin knit back together in a small row. But around that, his flesh was steely and warm. The scent of clean soap and something woodsy tickled her nose as she leaned closer to reach the spot high on his shoulder.
Her heart thudded. Her skin felt hot and alive. Her nipples… She’d be lying if she said she couldn’t feel them pressed against her shirt.
Doing her best to be quick and efficient, she finished with the ointment and stood. “When you’re back out in the dangerous world, be careful, you hear?”
As she stepped past him to wash her hands, he grabbed her wrist. “I’m used to this shit. Let’s talk about you.”
Her skin burned where he touched her. With a subtle twist, she worked free. “Me? I sit behind a desk.”
“I meant Cash. You need a restraining order ASAP.”
Since he’d unexpectedly dropped in earlier, she’d been too scrambled to consider legal options. But after his drunken threats, he would likely be back—unless she gave him a damn good reason not to be. Tessa hated to keep him from his daughter. A girl needed her daddy. She’d certainly needed hers growing up. Hell, she needed him now. But the comparison was apples and oranges. Despite everything, her daddy had been a good man who loved his family. Cash seemed capable of loving only himself.
“You’re probably right. I’ll call someone tomorrow.”
“Let me know if I can help.”
Other than the colonel, Zy was the first man she’d met since moving to Louisiana she believed was as good as his word.
Don’t get used to him. Don’t stare. And don’t think about him. He’s not yours, and he never will be.
The following day, Tessa’s landlord came over to survey the window her ex had broken and blew a gasket. He blamed her, and that pissed Zy off. Tessa hadn’t asked for her creepy ex to damage the place, and when he growled back that she’d been traumatized enough, the deadbeat suddenly changed his accusing tone to something conciliatory—just before he called a glass company to replace the window. He also agreed to have the siding fixed so her ex could no longer use the discarded pieces as a battering ram to break into her place.
As the forty-something guy took off in his little Toyota, Tessa sighed. “Seems like you’re great at scaring away all the assholes in my life. When you go, maybe you should leave a cardboard cutout of yourself behind.”
He was just glad to help. “Because that wouldn’t be weird at all.”
“It totally would.” She sighed. “But maybe worth the raised brows?”
“How about you just call me if you have a problem? I’ll come over and take care of it.”
“You’ve already done so much. I can’t impose any more.”
What had he actually done? Hung out in case her ex returned and set her landlord straight. Well, he’d also pushed and shoved until she’d gotten a restraining order against Cash, and Zy was relieved she’d followed through. That would give her some legal recourse in the event she needed it. Other than that, he’d done nothing except taken up oxygen, food, and space on her couch.
Tessa was trying to do everything alone, and he wished she would let him do more. And Zy knew why. No reason to bullshit himself. Her mean meatloaf and mashed potatoes aside, he liked her. He liked that her place felt like an actual home. He liked the way she mothered her baby, who clearly thought the sun rose and set on her mommy.
But he loved the way she seemed aware of him as a man.
At first he’d wondered if the awareness was all in his head. But after she’d stared at him shirtless, like she’d seen something deliciously forbidden, and he’d heard her heavy breathing as she doctored him? Yeah, he knew.
Fuck if he didn’t want her, too.
But she had a newborn and an independent streak a mile wide. And they were both contractually bound not to touch each other. Where did that leave them?
“You’re not imposing,” he swore. “Jerks like him take advantage of the fact women tend to be polite. It pisses me off. So if he—or any other douche—needs an attitude adjustment, I’ll zip right over with a glare and a threat.”
“Thanks.” She turned back for the house, then set off at a run when she heard Hallie fussing.
Zy followed, shutting the door behind them. “She took a long nap.”
“Yeah. Too long. I meant to wake her up thirty minutes ago, but…”
Her freaking landlord had come by and put the kibosh on her plan. “At least he’ll get everything fixed for you.”
“You’re right. I’m just worried about Hallie’s sleep patterns.”
Usually, not much woke him, but through the bedroom door she’d closed between them, he’d heard the baby crying most of last night. Exhaustion bruised her eyes today.
“Is she okay?”
“I called the pediatrician. She said it’s not uncommon for babies to have their days and nights mixed up. I just need to be patient and try to help her adjust.”
“How?”
“Extend the time between her naps, which I did this morning. I also didn’t swaddle her as much so she’d be a little less warm and cozy. So far it hasn’t helped. Then again, Dr. Lynch said it might take a few days for Hallie to get the hint.”
“If I can help, let me know.” Because Tessa was obviously worn down
and he didn’t like it.
“I appreciate it, but this is one instance in which you’ll be useless.”
Did she think he couldn’t handle a baby? In fairness, he’d had zero experience, but he had the internet. He could read.
“Don’t look insulted,” she cut into his thoughts. “You’re very capable…except when it comes to breastfeeding.”
An instant flash of Tessa baring herself and the baby latching on while he watched burned itself into his brain. The image wasn’t sexual exactly. Natural. Beautiful. Primal.
It made him hard as hell.
To hide his reaction, he turned and headed for the kitchen, stepping behind the counter as he pretended to grab a glass of water. “Nope. I wouldn’t be good at that. But if you need anything else, the offer stands.”
“Thanks. Have any dinner requests?”
“Let me take you out so you don’t have to cook.” Seriously, as tired as she looked, he didn’t want to add to her pile of things to do.
“I’d rather keep Hallie in until her immune system matures a bit.”
Fair point. “I can grab some takeout.”
“I appreciate it, but that won’t help me whittle my waistline.” She sighed. “Eight pounds to go.”
“You look great, Tessa. Seriously.”
A pink flush crept up her cheeks. “But I still can’t get into my work clothes. I have to do that by Monday or I won’t have anything to wear, so I can’t afford the extra calories. I’ve been marinating some chicken, if you don’t mind having that with some steamed broccoli and brown rice.”
“Great. What can I do?”
Tessa cast an indecisive glance between the kitchen and her bedroom. “Let me feed Hallie. Then I’ll start the grill and the rice cooker.”
Before he could reply, she was gone, shutting the door between them. He’d love to be with her—beside her, helping her, watching her. He wasn’t a man who did idle well, and waiting for her to do all the work chafed him.
He didn’t know a hell of a lot about cooking in the kitchen, but how hard could it be? Besides, it would give him something to do besides stare at her closed door, wanting what he couldn’t have.
