by Shayla Black
Tessa turned. She hadn’t known her boss was capable of speaking that softly. “Thank you again. Really. I’m truly humbled.”
“And if you’re not ready for the office on Monday, just let us know,” Logan prompted. “We can call a temporary until you are.”
Josiah groaned. “Just not Inept. I mean Aspen.”
Cutter and Trees both concurred with animated nods.
“I’ll be there,” Tessa promised. She needed to be. Not only did she need the money, but she needed not to sit on her sofa while Cash was invading her space and think of all she’d lost.
“See you then.” Joaquin touched her shoulder softly. “If you need anything else, call.”
One-Mile just waved, looking exhausted, pale, and still too near death. But he’d come to see her home. Cash hadn’t.
That spoke volumes about her daughter’s father, but she couldn’t deal with him right now. One crisis at a time.
She waved back at him. “Keep getting better, Walker. I know you’ve got more hell to raise.”
He flipped her a half smile until Joaquin wheeled him around and pushed him out the door, beside his stepbrothers.
Cutter stepped up to her next. “Hang in there. And if you ever need anyone to watch your little one, my mama would be tickled to step in. She always wanted a girl. I guess neither my brother, Cage, nor I looked good in pink.”
He meant well, and Tessa tried to smile. “It may not be your best color. I appreciate the hospitality.”
“Anytime.”
“You good?” Josiah asked.
She nodded. “I really will be fine. Caleb will take me home.”
“Absolutely,” he said, now holding a smiling Hallie in one arm and the bear in the other.
“Then I’ll see you Monday. Don’t be shy if you need anything.”
Tessa would never presume to bother him on a weekend. “I won’t.”
He and Cutter were gone then, so she turned to Trees. “Thank you for coming.”
She couldn’t look at Zy right now. She’d just break down again.
“You don’t have to keep thanking everyone. We’re happy to be here. Aren’t we, Zy?” He elbowed his friend in the ribs.
“Yeah.” His smoky tone seemed to have a thousand meanings, and even the familiar timbre of his voice did something to her.
Finally, she risked a glance at him. “I’m sorry I cried all over your shirt.”
“I’m not.” Zy stepped closer. “And I can tell you need to cry again.”
Damn it, he could see through her. He’d always been able to.
And on cue, tears stung her eyes once more. Without hesitation, Zy pulled her in.
She shuddered and clung, taking the strength he selflessly offered while stroking her back with a comforting hand.
Behind her, the colonel sighed. “I think I got all her things off the baggage carousel. Why don’t you take her home, Garrett?”
“We came in my truck,” Trees said with regret. “It won’t hold three adults and a baby in a car seat.”
“I’ll take you home myself,” Caleb suggested. “So they can go on. Tessa looks like she needs to talk.”
She turned to her former boss with a grateful stare. The colonel might be a veteran and a hard-ass, but he was also very wise. “I’d appreciate that.” She spun to Trees. “If that’s okay with you?” Then she cast a shy stare Zy’s way. She hated to presume, especially since she didn’t know what else he might have planned on a Friday night. “And you?”
“Fine by me. Anytime I don’t have to schlep Zy around is a good time,” Trees joked. “He’s a terrible backseat driver.”
“Because I’m better behind the wheel,” Zy bantered, then cupped her shoulder. “I’m happy to take you two ladies home.”
After a little more small talk, Trees followed the colonel out one door. Zy carried all her luggage while she pushed the stroller out to the parking lot through another. With a little direction from her, he installed Hallie’s car seat on the bench between them and got underway.
“Thanks for doing this.”
“You don’t need to keep thanking me.” He pulled out of the parking spot and got in line to pay the attendant. Once they’d left the airport, he turned back to her, the sharp angles of his face an interesting play of illumination and shadows as they drove past streetlights. “Tell me what sounds good. You want a burger?”
Honestly, she couldn’t even think about food right now.
Tessa shook her head. “I’ll be fine. I just need to get Hallie fed, changed, and into bed. Her schedule has been messed up for days.”
“What about you?”
Where to start? “I’m all over the place. Sometimes I’m numb. It doesn’t feel real that he’s gone. And sometimes, the pain is so sharp I can’t breathe.”
And the pervasive, nagging sense of despair felt like it sat on top of her, oppressing her. Smothering her.
Right now, besides her daughter, Zy was the only light in her life.
God, that was so unfair to him. He’d helped her so much, and she’d fallen for him. Then she’d repaid his kindness by boxing them into a corner where they could never be together. He had to look at her and know every day that she hadn’t chosen him. And still, he kept showing up for her.
“I know, baby.” He took her hand over the top of Hallie’s car seat and squeezed. “I’m here.”
“I don’t deserve you.” Of course, that sounded like she had him in the first place. “Your kindness, I mean. Your…friendship.”
“That’s bullshit, and you’ll always have it,” he vowed as they headed north on the highway.
Silence stretched between them, and as he drew closer to their exit, her dread grew.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
She probably needed to, but if she let go of the dam restraining her emotions, could she ever rebuild it? “I don’t want to burden you.”
Zy clenched his jaw as he pulled onto the shoulder and stopped the car. “You’re not a burden, and I swear if you say that one more time…” He shook his head. “Now I get why our bosses are the sort who spank their wives.”
They were? That was news to her. How did he know? And was he insinuating that he’d spank her?
To her shock, that didn’t totally horrify her, but she’d have to unpack that later. Definitely not now.
“Maybe burden is the wrong word, then. But you don’t owe me anything, and I’m aware—”
“Is Cash coming to help you?”
She withdrew her hand and pulled it into her lap, looking down as she laced her fingers together. “No.”
“Then I will. End of discussion. You just have to tell me what you need.”
Tessa licked her lips. She needed a good night’s sleep. She needed comfort. She definitely needed a few hours without any more drama. In the last few days, she’d had enough of that to last her. And Cash was a master at creating circus-level spectacle, complete with mental hoops of fire for her to jump through. She just couldn’t do it tonight.
“I need to go someplace where Cash isn’t.”
He rubbed at his chin and nodded. “I can drop you off at a hotel if you want to be alone.”
“I don’t.”
“Or I can bring you home with me.”
She started to ask if he minded, but since he didn’t want her to refer to herself as a burden, she didn’t. “Yes, please.”
He hesitated, then pulled off the shoulder and back onto the largely empty highway. “All right. But once we’re there, I’m going to take care of you my way.”
Tessa didn’t even argue. Not only did she lack the energy, she trusted that whatever Zy had in mind would be perfect. “I’d love that.”
Zy’s heart raced like he’d sprinted home from the airport as they pulled into his apartment complex. The place was decent, quiet—a definite step up from the last shithole he’d rented. Turned out when he’d asked Cutter’s advice, the local boy had a way better suggestion because he lived in the
next building over.
He’d had fantasies of bringing Tessa here—lots of them. He’d always pictured himself undressing her and undoing her until she fell into a sated sleep. But never in his wildest imaginings had he thought he’d be bringing her here to unwind and to offload whatever weighed down her mind until she released her grief.
Since his bike was in his assigned spot, he had to park a bit farther away. Then he cut the engine and turned to her. “You sure?”
Tessa nodded. “Yeah.”
She didn’t come out and say it, but she was making a conscious decision: him over Cash. At least for tonight.
Zy tried to tell himself it didn’t mean anything, but he wasn’t good at blowing smoke in places where the sun didn’t shine. It meant a shitload—at least to him. It wasn’t right or smart, but even if he couldn’t touch Tessa, he intended to milk this night for every moment he could.
“Then let’s go.”
He jumped out of the truck and grabbed everything he’d stored in the bed while Tessa reached in to lift her daughter from the car seat. The diaper bag followed as she slung it over her shoulder.
Without a word, she followed him upstairs. He led her into the dark apartment. As he flipped on the lights, he was grateful he kept his space organized and tight.
He walked her past the modern gray sofa and the giant big-screen on the wall. “I’m going to drop your luggage in the bedroom.”
She stopped in the middle of his living room and looked around with tired eyes that were killing him. “Okay. Bring the playpen here, though. Please.”
He looked at her three bags. “Which one is that?”
“The black backpack-looking thing.”
Zy dragged it back into the living room. “Here you go. And you don’t have to keep saying please.”
Then he disappeared into the bedroom. Through the open door, he heard her walk through to the kitchen and open a jar of baby food before murmuring something low and sweet to Hallie.
He set her suitcase in a corner and what he guessed might be her toiletries in his bathroom. Then he flipped on the nearest lamp, shrugged out of his jeans and into a pair of shorts, then went to find his girls.
Okay, so they weren’t his. But he could pretend for a night…
Back in the kitchen, he found Tessa feeding a half-awake Hallie, who lazily opened her mouth for some yellowish baby mush. “What’s that you’ve got, little girl?”
“Vegetable turkey dinner.” When Hallie smacked her lips and grimaced, Tessa managed a smile. “It’s not one of her favorites, but it will stick to her ribs.”
“You don’t like it?” He bent to ask the baby, staring into her wide green eyes. Then she stuck out her lower lip in a pout.
“Uh-oh, she’s going to explode. She gets cranky when she gets off schedule.” Tessa scooped the baby off the counter. “I think she’s done eating anyway. Is there somewhere I can give her a bath?”
“I’ve only got a shower.”
“Is it okay if we take one together?”
Instantly, Zy imagined himself wrapped around Tessa as the warm water sluiced down their entwined bodies. It made him harder than hell.
She flushed bright pink. “I mean, um…Hallie and me.”
He knew what she’d meant, so he just nodded. “You two can have the bathroom for as long as you need. Towels are in the cabinet above the toilet. You like omelets?”
“Yeah, but you don’t have to cook—”
“My way, remember?”
To his surprise, she didn’t push back. “Okay. By the way, you have a nice place.”
Then she disappeared, and after a few minutes of scrounging, he found some mushrooms, tomatoes, and spinach in his fridge to whip up a quick dish. He toasted a piece of bread and was plating everything when she emerged again in a pink cotton tank with a scalloped strap and hem, along with a matching pair of shorts. And no bra. That was fucking obvious when her nipples poked the fabric. She’d twisted her long hair in a messy bun and her face was bare.
Zy doubted she’d intended to turn him on, but he was harder than fuck looking at her. Hell, just being in the same room with her.
He cleared his throat. “Feeling better?”
She set Hallie on the floor and bent to attack the little black backpack. “Yeah. You don’t want me to thank you, but…thank you. I feel almost human again.”
“Good.” He watched her assemble Hallie’s playpen, line it with a few blankets, then toss in a couple of pacifiers, before she scooped up her daughter and kissed her soft little forehead. “You putting her to bed now?”
Tessa nodded. “It’s three hours past her bedtime. She’s going to crash and probably sleep until late tomorrow morning.”
Which meant Mommy could get some sleep, too. “Your dinner is ready.”
She tucked the baby in the playpen, then covered her up and turned off the lamp on the nearby table. The shadows emphasized the jut of Tessa’s breasts, the whittled indentation of her waist, and the flare of her hips. Zy started to sweat.
“I’m coming…”
Yeah, he wished, just like he wished he was the one sending her over the edge of pleasure.
He tried to clean up his dirty-as-fuck thoughts as he slid the steaming plate on the bar in front of her while she settled onto a stool.
When he set a bottle of water beside it, she glanced at him with something obviously on her mind. “Got anything harder?”
Zy hesitated. He didn’t want her medicating with booze…but he needed her to let go of her sense of decorum or responsibility or whatever the fuck kept her bottled up so she would talk to him.
“I’ll look. Eat at least half your omelet first.” Because if she was going to get shitfaced, he didn’t want her getting sick.
Dutifully, she picked up her fork and cut into the eggs, moaning as she popped a bite into her mouth. “Hmm. You didn’t tell me you could cook.”
“I don’t know if I’d call that actual cooking.” He prowled through the apartment’s walk-in pantry to peruse his booze selection. “Unless I’m barbecuing, that’s about the extent of my culinary expertise.”
She took another bite. “Then what do you eat in this sleek bachelor pad?”
“A lot of protein-based smoothies. Easier way to get in nutrients without dirtying up my kitchen.”
“You should teach me how to make them. I cook for myself a few times a week and eat the same meal for a few days.” She wrinkled her nose. “It’s boring.”
Zy nodded, knowing full well that nothing coming out of her mouth resembled anything on her mind, but she was still in responsible mode, still trying to be a perfect non-burden.
He really hated that. She just needed to let go. He’d catch her.
With a sigh, he plucked up a bottle, grabbed a lime from his fridge and a shaker of salt from the cabinet above the stove. Then he withdrew a shot glass and poured. “You at least half done?”
She eyed the plate. “Pretty much. Tequila shots, huh?”
“It will be easy and work fast.”
“I’m game. Let’s do it.”
Zy shook his head. “I’m the responsible one tonight. You go for it.”
“You trying to get me drunk?”
“If life were just about you and me and we had nothing else to consider, would I really need to?”
“No,” she whispered.
He leaned in and looked her straight in the eye. “Good. But I’d never get you drunk for that. I’d want you sober so you could feel every single thing I’d do to your body.”
Tessa’s cheeks lit up fiery red. “Zy…”
“Drink up.”
Obviously, she’d done this before. She licked the back of her hand, poured the salt, knocked back the tequila, tongued the salt from her skin, then sucked the lime, eyes closed and moaning. “Pour me again.”
“When was the last time you drank?”
“Before I found out I was pregnant with Hallie.”
So this wouldn’t take long at all
.
They repeated the cycle twice more before he stopped pouring and gauged her level of sobriety. Already he could see her body relaxing and the stress melting from her face as her head slid back, and she closed her eyes with a sigh.
“I know this is a bad idea, but I’m buzzed enough not to care.”
Then she was almost where he wanted her. “Good. One more.”
“You don’t have to ask me twice.” She socked the shot away with a moan.
“Done eating?”
Tessa nodded quietly and stood. “If it’s okay, I’m just going to stretch out on your sofa and—”
“What about Hallie?” He could hear her stirring in the next room. “Maybe we should talk in the bedroom.”
“You’re sure you’re not trying to get me drunk?” she asked, but this time her voice was sassy.
He liked it.
Grabbing her hand, he led her past the playpen and through the doorway, toward the rumpled bed, and sat her on the edge.
A little smile softened her face. “Thanks. I feel safe here.”
“Yeah?” He loved hearing that. “You are.”
“Your room smells like you. I like it.”
Jesus, if she was trying to turn him on with just her words, it was working.
But he had to put the brakes on the dirty workings of his brain, sit beside her, and pull her close. “Why don’t you get it all out now? Tell me what happened with your dad?”
“Ouch.” She reared back. “Are you trying to harsh my mellow?”
“I’m trying to get information.” He curled an arm around her, loving the hell out of the way she was pressed against him from shoulder to knee, her face turned toward him.
“I know.” She sighed, as if dredging up this story took monumental effort. “I got there on Monday, right? My first time meeting Kathleen. She took one look at me and told me I look like my mom. Then she said that she refused to have an unwed mother in her house.”
“Are you fucking serious?” Zy wished he had the opportunity to tell Kathleen what a judgmental cow she was.
“Oh, yeah. I pointed out it was my dad’s house, too. But since my dad wasn’t around, she put her foot down. Thankfully, before I had to plunk down the money for eleven days in a hotel, a childhood neighbor stopped by and offered me a place to stay. It was way better than dealing with Kathleen. She tried every which way to keep me from seeing my dad. He was too tired or too overwrought or too fill-in-the-blank. Whatever. I really thought on Tuesday that Dad had turned a corner, and I finally started going around the bitch and walking into his room whenever I wanted.”
