Secret Love (Arabesque)

by Jackson, Brenda

  “I believe that you are, too,” Jake whispered against her ear. “I believe you are a woman of the highest quality and standards. I believe that you are a woman with a heart of gold. Everything about you is goodness, richness and right.”

  He wanted to also say that despite her ex-husband’s stupidity, there was a man out there who would appreciate her and who would be worthy of her, but he couldn’t. The thought of any other man being intimate with her bothered him. For some reason that he was too emotional at the moment to think about, he wanted to brand her his. Tonight he wanted to make her Jake Madaris’s woman.

  Jake refused to think about what doing that would mean. Not only would he be breaking his “house rule,” he would also be breaking his “heart rule,” which was to never let another woman get under his skin and into his heart.

  Too late, he thought as he stared into Diamond’s eyes. Diamonds are forever, and the one standing before him, shining brilliantly with a smile that sparkled so radiantly was undoubtedly so. She would be forever. At that exact moment, he knew he had to face the final truth. He loved her. And when Jake Madaris loved, he loved hard.

  He reached out and slid a hand around her waist and brought her body close to his. He needed to hold her in his arms now that he had come to terms with what he had been fighting for the past few weeks. As crazy as it seemed, he had fallen in love with a woman he had met less than three weeks ago. A woman who in less than a week would be walking out of his life.

  Jake shook his head. Maybe falling in love with her wasn’t so crazy after all. His nephew Dex had fallen in love with Caitlin less than three weeks after meeting her. And like him, a woman had been the last thing on Dex’s mind at the time. Of all his nephews, the family claimed he and Dex were more alike. He would even admit they usually thought alike. And now it seemed they fell in love alike as well.

  “Diamond…” He said her name huskily, tenderly, before slanting his mouth over hers, hungry for whatever she offered, and for the love he had for her. Memories of past hurt, pain and mistrust had no place here. He kissed her like a man dying for the next breath of love, a man hungry for the mere taste of it. When he finally released her mouth to take a soul-cleansing breath, he heard her whisper his name, breathlessly, sensuously.

  He took his lips and smoothed the side of her throat, warming her skin, drowning in the taste of it. Making love to her tonight would be different. After tonight she would wear his brand. There would be no mistake that she was his woman. And by golly if she didn’t love him now, she soon would. He would see to it. Jake knew with every breath in his body that there was no way he would let her walk out of his life. He would fight for her with every bit of his strength. Love was a lifetime commitment, one he intended to share with this woman, no matter how the odds stacked up against them.

  He picked her up in his arms and took her up the stairs, holding her close to his heart, where she belonged and where he intended for her to stay.

  Jake placed Diamond in the middle of his bed. Drawing away, he stepped back to look at her. As incredible as it was, this woman had completely captured his heart. And now because of her, he could allow himself to have hopes and dreams. For the first time in years, more than he cared to count, he was filled with a deep sense of inner peace. It was an emotion he thought he would never experience again.

  For a long minute he continued to stare at her, inhaling her scent, analyzing her striking features. He watched her take a sharp intake of breath when his hand went to his belt buckle and begin tugging it through the loops. He saw the heat darken her eyes when he pulled his shirt free and began unbuttoning it. And he saw the slight trembling of her hands when he removed it.

  The bedroom lamp’s soft incandescent glow danced shadows across her clothed body. She looked right in his bed. But, he thought, as he reached for the snap to his jeans, she would look even better with no clothes on.

  Diamond sank into the soft covering on Jake’s bed as she watched him take off his clothes, piece by piece. She drew a steadying breath, thinking no man had a right to look so masculine. She watched the pulse in his throat, thinking that it matched the irregular beating of her heart.

  She continued to watch him, captivated by his broad shoulders, hairy chest and the dark line leading down into his jeans. When he removed his pants, her gaze ran down the full length of his nude body. The startling evidence of his physical need for her caused her bones to tremble within her flesh. For a moment, she was rooted to the spot on his bed and held immobile by the hungry look in his eyes. Diamond barely breathed a sound when Jake began walking back toward her.

  When he got to the bed, he reached out his hand to her. When she placed hers in the palm of his, he gently tugged her upright and brought her smoothly against the solid wall of his chest. Then he wrapped his strong arms around her and lightly, ever so lightly, his lips unerringly found hers.

  Driven by a desire greater than any of the other times they had made love, Diamond kissed him back as a heat, hotter than any she had known, spread through her. He feasted on her mouth; he devoured it. She tried to wiggle closer and found her clothing restrictive. She wanted to be skin-to-skin with him.

  As if reading her thoughts, Jake’s hand moved lower to her jeans, searching for the snap. She gasped when he found it and undid it. She cried out when he touched her, letting his fingers come in contact with her belly. Drawing in a deep stuttering breath, she expelled it. With a hungry growl, he broke off the kiss and immediately reached for her shirt. His impatient fingers popped the buttons free.

  From there he didn’t waste any time undressing her. He tossed her clothes in a careless heap on the floor atop his. When he turned back to her, he knew that tonight would be a critical turning point for the both of them. Their silence was strangely comfortable, wordlessly soothing. But now, he had to break the silence that encased them. He could no longer fight the flood of emotions consuming him.

  When he moved in place over her and kissed her again, he lifted his head and met her gaze and whispered, “I love you,” before smoothly entering her body in a single stroke. He then began making love to her slow and easy.

  His body devoured her and all of her emotions. His mouth took possession of hers, fueling a need within her. He made love to her as he tried to ignore the demands of his own body, knowing what he had to do before that time came and hoping he would have the control to do so.

  Jake gritted his teeth when Diamond curved her body more fully around him. He sucked in a deep groan when she locked her legs around him.

  Pull back, his mind commanded, but instead he instinctively drove farther into her when the rhythm of their motions became one. He felt the heat inside him build low in his belly, and flood all the way to his toes.

  Pull out, his mind screamed. Now! Jake had every intention to withdraw before he lost control.

  And he would have if Diamond had not chosen that exact moment to whisper, “And I love you, too, Jacob,” when the power of passion overtook her body.

  Too late. He lost it then—control, focus, all rational thought.

  He also lost himself in her as ripples of intense passion tore through him, and he closed his eyes as his body shattered in a long scalding release that jetted into her. He tightened his arms around her as their bodies trembled together, both accepting the love they had never acknowledged to each other, until now, until tonight.

  “Marry me, Diamond.”

  Jake was amazed at what he had just asked her. It was something he had promised himself he would never ask a woman ever again. At first he thought that he would push only for an affair, but his heart couldn’t let him do that. He needed permanence. He wanted a forever commitment. He craved something with her that he thought he would never want again with a woman.

  Diamond lay there, counting the seconds and hoping she had not heard Jacob correctly. She loved him but there was no way she could marry him. Them getting married would lead only to pain and regret.

  Jake felt her tense, a
nd a sudden tightness gripped his chest. He refused to let her just walk out of his life and at her silence decided to take another approach. “You might be pregnant. I didn’t protect you this time,” he said. “It wasn’t intentional and in truth it was downright irresponsible, but I don’t regret anything I’ve done with you tonight. If we’ve made a baby, I’ll be happy about it.”

  He shifted their bodies to a more comfortable position before continuing. “When I love someone it means a lifetime commitment. I’m not asking you to give up anything to become my wife, Diamond. You have your career, and I understand and respect that. All I’m asking is for you to be my partner in love by marrying me.”

  Diamond forced herself to swallow past the lump in her throat. Slowly, carefully, she eased out of Jake’s arms, knowing what she had to say would require distance. She wouldn’t be able to say the words while he was holding her in his arms. She never realized giving up the person you love could hurt so much. She sat up in bed and looked at him.

  “I can’t marry you, Jacob. We’ve shared some wonderful and special moments together, but when I leave here next week, I’ll walk away without looking back. I can’t look back, and I won’t.”

  Her words hit his heart. They tore into the very soul of him. He remembered a time when another woman’s words had done that very same thing, and his body was about to re-erect that shield that had always protected his heart. But when he looked deeply into Diamond’s eyes, he saw the raw pain there. Her lips might be saying one thing, but her heart was feeling another.

  “Tell me, Diamond,” he said huskily, determined. “Tell me that you lied and you really don’t love me, that you really don’t care, and I’ll leave you alone.”

  Tears stung her eyes, but she didn’t even bother to fight them back. She had a good cause to cry. She was giving up the best thing to ever come into her life, but she knew what she had to do for both their sakes.

  “I don’t love—” She couldn’t say it. She couldn’t get the lie she was about to say past her throat. She covered her face with her hands. After a few agonizing moments, she took her hands away and looked at him, seeing how concentrated his gaze was on her. Waiting.

  “I can’t say it because I do love you, Jacob,” she whispered raggedly, against the lump in her throat. “If possible, I love you more than any woman has a right to love any man. You and Whispering Pines are the best things to ever happen to me. Being here has meant more to me than you’ll ever know. It has given my life so much meaning. Every day I’ve spent here I’ve felt safe, protected and special. You made me feel all those things, Jacob.”

  She paused to wipe away the tears welling in her eyes before continuing. “You represent all that’s good. You are everything a man should be—honorable, respected, admired and loved. And you take your responsibilities seriously. The same would hold true with your responsibilities as a husband. And doing that can destroy you, and I refuse to let that happen. I love you, too much.”

  Her gaze became more intense. “My life is everyday news, Jacob, and if you married me yours will be, too. I can’t let that happen to you. I won’t let that happen. I won’t let the media rip apart your world. Whispering Pines is your world, it’s who you are. If we were to marry, this place would become a circus. Life as you know it wouldn’t be the same. There would be reporters constantly trying to get on your land to filter out a story, there would be helicopters flying around overhead to get pictures, any word you say might end up being misquoted in some tabloid or another. Your life, Jacob, would become a living hell. I love you, too much to let that happen.”

  Jake looked at her, feeling more love for her at that very moment than he thought was possible. “Fine. I hear what you’re saying, but I still want to marry you,” he said softly. “You don’t have to protect me, Diamond. I can handle all those things you’ve mentioned. With you by my side, I’ll be able to handle just about anything.”

  “But that’s just it, Jacob, I won’t be here by your side most of the time. I’ll have to travel, and at times I’ll be gone for long periods of time while filming.”

  “I know that, and I can handle that. But no matter where you go, you’ll know Whispering Pines is your home and that I’ll be here waiting for you. Waiting for the day you will return so that I can take care of you, ease your stress and give you the loving care you deserve and need from the rat race of your career.”

  Diamond shook her head. “The price you’d pay isn’t worth loving me, Jacob.”

  “Any price I pay for loving you, Diamond, would be worth it.”

  Diamond began to cry, and Jake reached for her and pulled her down into his arms. He held her. He knew her fears and even understood them. He’d been friends with Sterling long enough to know how relentless and cruel the media could be sometimes.

  She cried harder, and he held her tighter, comforting her and whispering words that things would be all right because they had love on their side, and their love would be enough.

  Diamond struggled out of Jake’s arms and looked up at him. Her gaze was pleading. “But our love won’t be enough.”

  Jake looked at her, caught by her distress and determination to sacrifice their love to protect him. “So there is no way you’ll agree to marry me?” he asked, his voice tight. No matter what, he refused to give up.

  Maybe it was the way he asked the question, with deep and intense emotions, or the heart-wrenching thought that once she left Whispering Pines she would never see him again that made Diamond finally say in a subdued voice, “Yes, there is a way. And it’s the only way I will agree to,” she said, her voice raw from emotions.

  “And what way is that?”

  “If we marry secretly, at least for a short while. Then the media won’t know.”

  Looking at her, Jake knew she was serious. Did she actually think they could keep their marriage a secret? And if he went along with it, just how long were they talking about? “For how long, Diamond? How long would you want to keep our marriage a secret?”

  Discomfited by his question, she shrugged before saying, “I don’t know, Jacob. Probably for no more than a year.”

  After a long, tense silence he asked, “Then what? What happens after a year? You’ll still be in the spotlight. What’s so magical about one year?”

  Diamond shrugged. “Nothing really other than it will give us a year to ourselves. I’m not ready to share our love with the prying eyes of the world. I’m not ready for what we share to be analyzed, criticized and pulled apart by the press. I need some private time, Jacob, to be with you whenever I can without people looking in.”

  Jake got out of bed and crossed the room to the huge window. Staring out, all he saw was darkness. It would be a mirror of how his life would look if Diamond walked out of it.

  He turned back to her. “And what if you’re pregnant now?”

  There was a long pause in the room. A part of him hoped she was, but the tense bunching of her brows indicated she was hoping she wasn’t.

  She smiled faintly. “If I’m pregnant, then it won’t be a secret for long, will it?”

  She rubbed one hand over her forearm, knowing that he was thinking hard on her proposal. After moments passed and he didn’t say anything, she felt compelled to ask, “What about it, Jacob?”

  Jake sucked in a deep breath, wondering what choice did he have. He loved her and would continue to do so until the day he died. He walked back over to the bed and pulled her into his arms. “I love you, Diamond, and I’m willing to take you any way I can get you.”

  She wrapped her arms around him. “Do you mean that, Jacob?”

  “Yes, I mean it.”

  He pulled her back into his arms and kissed her like a man who had finally found what had been missing in his life. He would love her and protect her and in time she would see that their love would truly be enough.

  BOOK TWO

  The Present

  Chapter 13

  Jake Madaris rubbed the back of his neck and looked anxiousl
y up at the dark sky. He had been at the airstrip for more than an hour and there was no sign of Sterling’s plane. He drew in a deep, ragged breath and let it out slowly as he tried to remain calm. Sterling claimed Diamond was all right, but he would breathe a whole lot easier once he saw her for himself; once he held her in his arms.

  Someone had tried to attack her! He nearly choked on his disbelief that some demented person had actually broken into Diamond’s home and tried to hurt her. Oh, she’d had to deal with overzealous fans in the past, but nothing of this magnitude had ever happened, and he intended that nothing like this would ever happen again.

  Damn it. They were only supposed to keep their secret for a year, but here it was nearly eighteen months later, and still very few people knew they were married. Jake searched his mind frantically to recall just how things had gotten so out of hand. Why had he allowed things to go this far? He sighed, knowing the answer to that question without really thinking about it. He had not asked her to give up anything to become his wife because he knew all about Diamond’s dreams.

  He of all people understood how it felt to want something so badly that you worked hard to achieve it. He of all people knew the importance of proving something to yourself as well as to others. He understood Diamond’s burning desire to reach the top. She was a good actress. As far as he was concerned, the whole world knew it, but still she had not reached that pinnacle of excellence where she was satisfied.

  Instinctively as her lover, husband and friend, he knew what drove her to want to be the best and not live under her father’s shadow. He also knew just how much she loved being an actress. There was no way he could take away from her the only other thing that shared her love. She loved acting as much as he loved ranching.