by Apryl Baker
“Don’t cry, baby, please.” He kissed the top of her head. “It cuts me deep.”
She only cried harder. He did the only thing he could, he held her tight and rocked her until she cried herself to sleep. And still he held her when her breathing evened out. She looked so lost. He swore then and there, she’d never look like that again, but he needed help.
He stood and laid her gently on the bed, using the soft throw she’d brought with her to cover her. He needed to make some calls. He turned out all but the bathroom light and let himself out quietly. He needed to find food, call his brother, and then come back and sign everything. If he didn’t, she’d only stress more, and that was the last thing he wanted.
Chapter Thirteen
Dimitri had called Olive Garden and gotten takeout. He had no idea if she even liked the place, but he figured it was better than fast food. He wanted to call his mother, but it was too late. She’d be up soon, but he needed help now.
He called Nikoli.
“Hey, man.” Nikoli yawned around his greeting.
“It’s not that late, motherfucker.”
“Someone’s grouchy.” Nikoli murmured something, and he assumed it was Lily the boy was talking to. Wait. Lily had issues something like Becca’s, didn’t she? He might be able to help more than Dimitri had originally thought.
“Yeah, well, it’s been a long fucking day.”
“Everything okay, brat?”
“Fuck, no, it’s not.” He let out a sigh. “You got a few?”
“Sure, man. Just let me tell Lily Bells I’ll be up in a while.”
Dimitri smiled at the nickname Nikoli had given Lily. She’d hated it in the beginning. He’d gotten the entire story out of Nik while he’d been in Boston. It was a story worth writing, one he planned to write. His brother and future sister-in-law just didn’t know it yet. Kade and Angelique were another sordid tale he’d decided to write about. Angel was forcing his brother to jump through hoops at the moment, but honestly, the ass deserved it. Who forgot they were married?
He snorted at the thought. Kade had some serious wooing to do, not to mention Angel was upset about the whole adultery aspect of their marriage. Granted, she hadn’t known she was still married, but Kade had. Being Catholic, she needed absolution and had dragged Kade off to counseling at the church. Something his brother was not happy about, but their mother and grandmother agreed with Angel. This was something that needed to be settled with the blessing of the Church.
“So, what’s up?”
Nikoli’s question caused him to jump. “Dammit, don’t sneak up on me.”
“Uh, how can I sneak up on you when I’m on the phone?”
“Sorry, just a fuck-all day.”
“Sounds like it.”
“Were you home when Dad came back that last time all messed up?”
“No, but Mason was. Why?”
He explained to his brother about Becca’s anxiety and how he wanted to help her, but was doing more damage than good.
“Nah, man, you’re aren’t doing more damage,” Nikoli assured him. “First, even her therapist said she needed to get out and face her fears since it wasn’t being handled by medication alone. You pushed her, yeah, but you were there to catch her. Just keep doing that. Second, stop freaking out. When you freak, it’s only going to make her worse. You have to be slow and patient. I told you about Lily and her fear of being touched. She had severe anxiety due to that.”
“How did you guys get past it?”
“We didn’t, not really. She’s getting better, though, with my and her therapist’s help. For Lily, she’d been afraid for so long, it was all she knew. She needed structure, rules. She needed to trust me, and that’s what I did. I spent months showing her she could trust me, giving her rules and pushing her just enough to make her face her fears. Once she did, she started to understand not everyone she loved and touched would die. You have to be patient. Lily still has issues being touched by people she doesn’t know, and it can set off a freak-out moment, as I call her panic attacks. Just last week, we were at the mall and some guy grabbed her hand to get her attention. She had a meltdown right there in the mall. Didn’t lose my patience, just got her home and helped her to calm down. This shit doesn’t go away overnight. If you go in thinking that, then whatever you got going on with Sunshine, it’ll fail.”
“Sunshine?”
“You forget, I did go to high school with Becca. You told me to keep an eye on her. I always checked in and made sure no asshats bothered her. I called her Sunshine because of all that blonde hair of hers.”
“Are there any tricks I can use to help her?”
“Music works. Doesn’t matter what kind, just turn it down low, so it’s barely audible. Soothes the nerves. Other than that, be patient and let her know you’re there if she needs something.” Nikoli got quiet for a minute and then asked, “Are you finally planning on doing something about your feelings for her?”
“What makes you think I have feelings for her?” He pulled back into the hotel’s front entrance, ignoring the valet waiting to take his keys.
“You wouldn’t be calling me half out of your mind with worry if you didn’t, Dimitri. Besides, we all know how you feel about her, even Babushka.”
“Hell, I just realized today I might feel something more than lust. How the fuck do you all think you knew it before me?”
“Because you’re a blind fool who only saw one thing when you looked at a girl…the best way to get her clothes off. Except with Rebecca. You treated her with respect. That said a lot about how you felt, right there.”
“Shit.”
Nikoli laughed. “Look, you might want to accept the fact your life isn’t your own anymore. You belonged to Becca back in high school. You were just too stupid to realize it. You thought with your dick instead of your head. Can’t say much, though. I was the same way. Took me a while to realize it too. Lily scared the shit of out of me with how she made me feel. I almost lost her because of my own stubborn pride. Don’t make the same mistake with Becca. She’s awesome, and I’d love to call her my sister for real.”
“Fuck, I’m tired.” Dimitri turned off the Jeep and sat back. “I wish I had a quick fix right now. She’s in so much misery after having a meltdown at the event.”
“Well, not sure it’d work with Becca or not, but you could try the same tactic I did with Lily.”
“What’s that?” he asked absently, gathering the food bags together.
“Structured rules.”
“What the fuck you talking about?”
“Well, Lily couldn’t tolerate being touched. I did what I do best.”
“And that is?”
“Dominance.”
“Fucker. I am not pulling that BDSM shit with Becca. I’m surprised Lily didn’t chop your balls off, fry them up, and feed them to you.” Granted, he very much wanted to play the dominant when it came to Becca, but he was terrified he’d scare her off worse than she was.
“No, shithead, I don’t play at the stupid shit. I don’t hurt women, I just like to be in control. Becca has been so out of control for so long, it might do her good to let someone else have control for a little while. I don’t know if that’s something you’re even into, but it worked with Lily. It helps her.”
“I remember when Kade found your little extracurricular activities closet.” The memory of his brother’s shocked face still cracked Dimitri up. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so freaked out.”
Nikoli laughed. “His reaction was hilarious. I am serious, though, if it’s something you’re into, you might want to try it.”
“I am in into it to a degree. You didn’t only get your manwhoring ways from me, I think you also got your need for control from me too. I don’t cause a woman pain, but I do like her all nice and tied up. Not sure how Becca would react to that, though.”
“Sneak it in.” Nikoli got excited. “Little things, things she’d normally let you do anyway, just make it more of a command
than a request. It really might help her, Dimitri. From what you told me, she had a shit childhood where she had to be the adult to survive it. That’s a lot of stress for a kid to take on, to have to deal with. Just think about it.”
“I will, brat. I need to get this food upstairs before she wakes up. Thanks for talking to me.”
“I hope I helped.”
“You did. Night, brat.”
“Night.”
Dimitri shoved his phone in his pocket and got out of the Jeep, food bags in tow, and gave his keys to Mike, who stood patiently waiting for him to get out. Another person to remember to tip well when they checked out.
Time to check on his woman.
***
Becca woke up to darkness, the only light a soft glow from the partially open bathroom door. No Dimitri. She shouldn’t be surprised. He’d run earlier when he figured out how she felt about him. Why wouldn’t he run after she’d embarrassed not only herself, but him as well, in front of all those authors?
Sighing, she dragged herself up, found her purse, and downed her medication. Honestly, she couldn’t remember if she’d even taken it yesterday. That might have been why she panicked so hard, so fast when the guys had come over to chat. It could also explain the headache and the nausea today. You didn’t simply skip a dose of medication. It could cause all sorts of nasty things.
Maybe a hot shower would help scrub some of the shame and embarrassment away along with all the dust and dirt she’d collected from sitting in the floor. Couldn’t hurt. She collected her pajamas and turned on the shower, waiting for it to get hot.
The hot water felt amazing. It might have been fifteen minutes or an hour that she stood underneath the spray and let it soak into her tense muscles. Hot showers always helped relax her enough to let her anxiety start to wash away. It was a technique her doctor suggested, since stress was associated with anxiety, and a hot shower was one of the best remedies for stress when a bath was out of the question. She refused to take a bath in a hotel room. Could one really ever know how clean the tub was? Same with the toilet. She’d been lining the seat with toilet paper.
Getting out, she yawned. God knew how long she’d slept. It hadn’t occurred to her to check the clock before she came in the bathroom. She wrapped one of the big towels around her body and turned on the water in the sink, the need to brush her teeth strong. She hated fuzziness on her teeth. Grossed her out. Grabbing another towel, she bent over and started drying her hair.
“Becca!”
She heard Dimitri bellowing her name barely seconds before he burst through the bathroom. She stood up so fast, it dislodged her towel. She stared down in horror as it slipped off her body and pooled around her feet. When her gaze met Dimitri’s, she watched his expression go from shock to lust in a matter of seconds. The shift was so fast, she took a hesitant step backward.
“Close the door!”
He ignored her and came closer, his expression hardening. Shit. She grabbed at the towel and barely managed to pull it up before his hands wrapped around her arms, pulling her close.
“Dimitri…”
“Becca…”
She swallowed around the very large lump in her throat, aware of where his fingers burned into her very naked skin.
“We aren’t doing this.” As hard as she tried, she couldn’t stop the slight tremor in her voice.
He closed his eyes and she watched, fascinated, as he fought with himself. So many emotions, some she couldn’t even define, flickered in his expression. When he opened those baby blues, it only made her flight or fight instinct scream flight. Flee, run now. He shifted his hands to grasp her around the waist, and he picked her up, only to set her on the countertop. She still had to look up to meet his eyes. Dimitri was that tall. The lust still burned bright, but there was a hard determination there as well.
“You’re right. I’m not going to fuck you tonight.”
She let out a little sigh of relief, but it was short-lived. His next words made her stiffen.
“But I am going to fuck you, Becca, so hard and so deep, you’ll never forget the feel of me.”
“No, you’re not…”
He put a finger to her lips. “Sweetheart. We have a lot to talk about, including something you don’t know about me.”
She let out a shuddering breath when his finger trailed along her jawline, down her neck to the top of the towel she was desperately clutching. He hooked his index finger in the fabric and pulled, until the cloth fell into her lap. He licked his lips, enthralled with her breasts.
Becca tried to pull the towel back up, but he shook his head. “Don’t.”
“Dimitri…please…I…”
“Hush, Krasivaya. I already told you I wasn’t going to fuck you, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to look at you.”
Dimitri savored the little whimper that escaped her lips when he traced the outline of her nipple with his finger. She wanted him. As badly as he did her, but he needed her to admit it. He wanted her, all of her, and he wanted to give himself to her, his true self, the man who loved control.
“Doesn’t mean I don’t want to touch you.” He pinched her nipple and she gasped, the blush blooming. The color spread between her breasts and raced up her skin, bursting to a halt on her cheeks.
He smiled and leaned forward, kissing her lightly, pinching her poor nipple harder.
“Doesn’t mean I don’t want to taste you.”
He released her nipple, her sharp cry egging him on. He pulled the tortured bud into his mouth, sucking ever so gently, his tongue teasing it. Her fingers twisted in his hair and he stopped, pulling her hands free. He placed them on the counter, his expression harder than he’d ever used on any woman. If she touched him, he might fuck her. He wanted her to trust him, and that meant she needed to keep her hands the hell off him.
“Don’t move.” She started to argue, but he kissed her. Hard. “Don’t fucking move an inch. Keep those hands where they are.”
“Dimitri…”
“No.” The word was harsh, his breathing getting a little ragged. “Do as you’re told, Rebecca. Don’t fucking move.”
The little nod was all he needed. He kissed her again, softly this time.
“Good girl.” He cupped her breasts, squeezing gently, his thumbs rubbing the pebbled nipples. “Lean back for me, sweetheart.”
Becca’s hormones had thrown her good sense out the window. She leaned backward, using her hands to support her. This was a side of Dimitri she’d only glimpsed earlier, but it was one that spoke to her on a subconscious level. It was something she didn’t even know she liked, not until he’d gone all alpha on her. Sure, she read books, but still. It was one thing to read about, and another to experience.
When his mouth replaced his thumb, her entire body hummed. She gripped the edge of the counter to keep from pulling him closer. What the hell was he doing to her? Playful, teasing Dimitri she could resist all day, but not the alpha male basically telling her to shut the fuck up and enjoy it. It hit a button that had never been pushed before, and her body responded like a good little girl.
He bit her nipple the same moment he twisted the other one, and she cried out, the sharp stab of pain giving way to a burning pleasure that traveled down to her clit, and she shifted, trying to relieve the ache. Dimitri chuckled and pressed closer, forcing her legs to spread wider.
Becca’s head fell back as the sensations assaulted her. She ground herself against the damn counter, trying to get some relief. He let her tortured nipple escape his lips, keeping the other hostage.
“Was I right, Becca?” His blue eyes danced with a wicked light. “Were you playing with yourself yesterday morning? Using your fingers to circle your clit, trying to ease the ache that no mechanical toy can ever fully satisfy?”
Shit. He had been right, but she refused to admit it. He pinched her nipple harder and it sent a spam of pleasure through her so intense, her walls convulsed and she felt the moisture dripping.
“Tel
l me.”
The bite of command in his voice snapped her head up. There was no give in his eyes. He wanted an answer, and he was prepared to do what it took to get the answer.
“Yes.”
The towel was pulled away and tossed to the side. She was completely naked, her legs spread wide, breasts thrusts upward thanks to the position he’d put her in. She blushed hard, a little embarrassed. No one had ever really seen her naked before, not even Rob Jamison, the boy who’d taken her virginity.
“So pretty.” He leaned in and licked her bottom lip. “Do you know how beautiful you are, sweetheart?”
He squatted in between her legs, and she let go of the counter, pulling at him, realizing what he was going to do. No one had ever touched her there except herself. It was too intimate, he couldn’t…
“Don’t. Touch. Me.”
His words were ice cold, and she shivered, pulling her hands back instinctively.
“Did I give you permission to move?”
She shook her head, not trusting her voice.
“Where are those hands supposed to be?”
She clutched the counter again, a little afraid, but so turned on, she feared she might come with nothing more than a simple touch.
“Good girl.” He flashed her a smile and gripped her hips, pulling her forward so her ass was almost hanging off the countertop. “I am not going to fuck you, even though I want to, Becca, so unless you want my cock buried inside you, don’t fucking move or I won’t guarantee that won’t happen. Understand?”
She nodded.
“Words, Rebecca, I want the words.”
“I understand.” She didn’t recognize the whine in her voice, the raspy sound that left her when he picked up both legs and pushed them backward towards her chest, spreading them wide. “Hold your legs. Don’t let them move unless I move them.”
