by S. L. Baum
I couldn’t answer him, my voice caught in my throat and my body froze the moment his hands started to move across my limbs. He gently squeezed down the length of my arms, starting at my shoulders and continuing to my wrists. Then he grabbed onto my legs, moving from thigh to foot. That is when he finally saw my badly bruised ankle and reached down to cradle my battered foot in his hands.
“It’s broken?” he questioned.
“No, I’m sure it’s just twisted,” I whispered. “I’ll be fine. I’ll be able to walk on it. Just give me a moment to catch my breath.”
He reached out to brush back the hair that was covering my eyes and tucked it behind my ear.
“Where do you live?” he asked.
I pointed toward my house, after my tumble it wasn’t so far away, “That one.”
“What’s your name?”
“Charity,” I uttered in a barely audible whisper.
“Charity?”
“No, um, I really don’t need your charity...” I let my voice trail off, trying to cover up my mistake.
“Oh you don’t?” he laughed. “Well, I must insist on giving it. Your name?” he repeated his question.
“Emily. Emily Johnston.”
“It’s nice to meet you Emily Johnston. I’m Link, Lincoln Knight, to be exact. Do you think you can lean on me so I can help you get home?”
“I can call my uncle, really, you don’t need to bother with me,” I rambled on, but he decided to ignore my protests.
Link wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me up to standing. When he was sure I had gained my balance he instructed me to put my arms around his shoulders. He held onto me with one hand and snatched up my discarded boot with the other.
“Let’s try to walk. Just lean on me,” he encouraged.
“Really this is not necessary. My uncle...”
“Miss Johnston, will you kindly shut your mouth and concentrate on walking? I am helping you. Now, test the ankle, just put a little pressure on it at first,” he ordered, slightly annoyed by my reluctance to accept his assistance.
I gave a little hop. I could already feel my bones fusing back together. I tried to concentrate on walking as though I were truly injured.
“Is this okay?” he breathed into my hair while his body pressed against mine for added support.
I lost all sense of balance. My knees gave way and he had to tighten his grip to keep us both from falling over. This wasn’t helping me concentrate. I couldn’t think while he was touching me. But then again, it did help my act of appearing more injured than I was by now.
“Sorry,” I apologized.
“Careful, take it easy.” Link smiled at me.
We paused in our trek, while I caught my breath and steadied my racing heart. I was right at the dance, there was something strangely familiar about his mouth. I peeked through my eyelashes to get a better look at his face. He had classical good looks, the kind that would always be considered handsome. Thick blonde hair and chocolate brown eyes accented his striking appearance. He flashed me a brilliant smile. Why did I know that smile so well?
“You never answered my question before. What are you doing out here by yourself?”
“I just like to hike on my own.” I defended my right to be out, alone. “It’s peaceful. Until I do something stupid and fall. I’m usually much more careful,” I paused and took a deep breath. “I could ask you the same question,” I challenged him.
“Same as you, except for the falling part,” he smiled. “Anyway, I’m not a high school girl,” he continued.
“How do you know I’m in high school?”
I hated being seventeen.
“I saw you at the Halloween dance. You were hanging out with a group of high school kids so I used my awesome powers of deduction,” he teased.
“You have awesome powers, eh? Lucky you,” I replied, my voice thick with sarcasm.
“They come in handy when I’m rescuing fallen angels,” he paused in thought. “You remind me of somebody. I just can’t put my finger on it.”
“That’s so weird. I was just thinking the same thing about you. I guess we each just have one of those strangely familiar faces,” I offered.
“Familiar yes, I wouldn’t say strange though. I think it’s a nice face, even if it is a little dirty right now.”
Link brushed his hand across my forehead and down my nose. My knees buckled again.
“Do you need to sit down?” he asked.
The concern in his eyes made me even more lightheaded and left me unable to speak. I moved my head back and forth in answer.
“It’s cold out here. Don’t you have a jacket?” he inquired as he searched the ground behind us.
“I had one tied around my waist. It must have fallen off. I’ll find it tomorrow. Let’s get moving again, we’re almost there.” I shook my head and concentrated on walking with a badly twisted ankle.
We walked the rest of the distance in silence. I put on a good show of being quite injured. Although truthfully, I didn’t want to put any real pressure on my foot until James gave me the clearance to do so. As we reached the driveway of my house, the side door opened and James came out to meet us.
“What happened, my dear?” he sounded concerned, but I knew he was slightly annoyed.
“I fell, like an idiot, and Link helped me out,” I confessed.
“Lincoln Knight,” Link extended his hand in introduction.
“Thank you, Mr. Knight,” James said as he shook Link’s hand. “Don’t you work over at the hardware store?”
“Yes that’s right, for about a month now. I moved here for the ski season. I move around a lot. You’re new here too. Everyone keeps talking about the new doctor and his family. It’s nice to meet you,” Link chatted with ease.
“It would have been nicer under different circumstances, but I’m glad you were there to help. We’ll see you around town.” James thanked Link again and then turned to me. “Well let’s get you inside so I can get a proper look at you.”
Once we were safely indoors and James was sure Link had left the property, the scolding began.
“Charity, how could you be so irresponsible?” James admonished.
“It was just a simple break. I’m sure it’s fine now,” I protested.
“What if it had been more than a simple break? What if the bone had tore through the flesh? This Link boy could have witnessed your skin as it repaired itself. Then where would we be? We would have to leave this town, my job, this house. You can’t expose us this way. Let’s go to the lab so I can x-ray your foot. I want to make sure the bones have set properly. Hopefully I will not have to re-break them. It’s surely almost fully healed by now.” He shook his head, clearly disappointed in my actions.
“I thought I was completely alone, I swear to you. Next time I will be more careful, I promise. Please don’t be cross with me, James,” I pleaded.
I hated myself for making such a careless mistake.
“Let’s go,” was all he said.
James led the way and I followed, walking gingerly. My foot was still a little sore. It felt like I had stepped on it the wrong way, tingly and prickly. I remembered this feeling from childhood... from before my body began its change... when I was still one hundred percent mortal. But that was a very long time ago.
chapter three
PAIN… JUST AN ILLUSION
The next day, I was still sulking. I hated the thought of disappointing my family. It was an accident, and in the end both Catherine and James had said they understood and forgave me. But I was finding it difficult to forgive myself. I couldn’t bring myself to leave my room until after she had departed, ashamed to face the woman who had become a mother to me. They were leaving shortly, on their way to a picnic lunch by the river.
After emerging from my self-imposed quarantine, I decided a soak in our spa might relax me and get my mind off the previous day’s events. I changed into my black one-piece and headed to the lower level. Once inside the spa
room, I laid my towel on one of the couches and set my robe on a hook. After turning the CD player on and the music up, loud enough to drown my thoughts, I walked over to the glass wall that faced the mountain. I looked out at the mountainside, to the area where I had taken my tumble the day before.
I rested my forehead on the glass and closed my eyes, remembering the feel of his hands on my battered foot. I pictured that dazzling smile and again tried to remember where I had seen it before. I breathed out deeply, my hot breath clouding the glass. It was getting pretty cold outside now that it was the middle of November. I walked away from the glass wall and over to the control panel, turned on the jets, and entered the spa.
Our spa was something to be envied, a luxury that I was glad the architect had seen fit to include in the plans for this house. It was sizeable. Some would classify it as a small pool. The massaging jets and the bubbling water let me think of it only as a spa. The water was half indoors and half outdoors. A quick swim through a small opening underwater led me out into the fresh air. There was steam rising from the surface, where the warmth of the water mixed with the cool mountain air. I inhaled deeply and rested my head out of the water, on the side of the decking. The rest of my body I kept fully submerged in the warm bubbling liquid.
I closed my eyes and listened to the music, losing myself in the rhythm. I loved Tool. I loved this song. The line about pain being an illusion really hit home with me. This was my ultimate truth. I could no longer feel pain the way others did, physical pain or mental anguish. I could block it out, erase it, even as I watched my bones break and my body bleed. I knew that even when these things happened to me, the next day no evidence could be found to support it. It was an illusion.
My thoughts turned to the past, to my first love. Roger was so handsome in his naval uniform. I could picture him so clearly in my mind, then he was gone, another illusion. I opened my eyes as the song ended and the next one began.
“How are you feeling today?”
“Aaah!” I gave a little startled scream.
“Sorry, I tried the door but nobody answered. Then I heard music coming from around the side of the house. So, I used my awesome powers of deduction and here I am. I didn’t mean to scare you. You were lost in the song, you didn’t hear me. Excellent singing voice by the way,” Link smiled from the chair where he sat watching me.
“Those powers of yours are no good. Maybe you should deduce that I want to be alone,” I grumbled.
“Being alone didn’t work so well for you yesterday. What if you were to, say... hit your head and slip into the water. There would be nobody here to help you.”
“I’m fine. Why are you here?” I asked.
“I came to give you this,” he held out my jacket, “and to find out how you are doing, to make sure you are okay.”
“I told you, I’m fine. Really...See...” I held my foot up out of the water without thinking.
His eyes locked on the now faint yellowish remains of the deep purple bruises he’d witnessed less than twenty-four hours before. I saw the confusion in his eyes and swiftly submerged my foot, removing it from his eyesight.
“I’m a fast healer,” I offered before he had a chance to ask any questions.
“I’ll say. My powers pale in comparison.”
“It wasn’t nearly as bad as it looked.”
“Apparently,” Link looked stunned.
“Wait here,” I said and then I ducked underwater and swam back to the other side.
He watched through the glass as I climbed out of the water and picked up my towel. I held my finger up, to tell him to give me a minute, and then dried off. I removed my long fluffy robe from its hook, put it on, and went out the door to the patio where he still sat.
“Sorry, I’m not being very grateful. Thank you for helping me make it home safely last night, and for finding my jacket,” I thanked him as I sat in the cushioned chair beside him.
He reached for my foot and slowly traced his index finger around the edges of the now barely discernible bruise. What could I say? How could I answer his unasked question? I pulled my foot from his grasp and tucked it under me, to remove it from his sight. We sat in silence, looking at each other, his eyes full of questions, mine full of uncertainty.
“This is a big, fancy house for a small town doctor. Aren’t doctors supposed to be broke when they start out? What is your uncle, like thirty-one or thirty-two?”
“Ja – Jason has family money and he’s twenty-nine. Not that any of this is your business.” I quipped.
“How large is this house?” Link continued.
“About eight thousand square feet,” I answered.
“Six, seven mill?”
“Closer to nine.” I don’t know why I so casually answered his questions. I just saw no reason to pretend. Anyone with a computer could find the answers so I gave them readily.
“These are mostly vacation homes for the uber rich. Anyone else out here live year round?” It was less of a direct question and more just his wondering aloud.
“A few... I imagine that by this time next month this whole town will be transformed. I’ve heard it’s a revolving door of people during the ski season.”
“Yeah that’s what I hear too. I guess we’ll find out soon enough. I’ve been here once before, but that was years ago, when I was like... fourteen I think.”
“So you’re a ski-bum. You move around from town to town and just ski.” I stated.
“Not a ski-bum, just in need of a change. I received an inheritance and decided to travel and ski for a few years. I work, at the hardware store, because I can’t imagine not being a ‘productive member of society.’ My grandfather drilled that into my head from a very young age,” Link’s eyes became distant.
“Is he gone?”
“Grandpa? Yeah, two years now. Mom and Dad died in a crash when I was ten so Grandma and Grandpa raised me. They really did a great job. Then the month after I finished high school, Grandma died. Grandpa was never the same after she passed. He couldn’t seem to live without her. He died twenty months later. So I’m an orphan, alone in the world. I miss them terribly, Grandpa the most. Feel sorry for me yet?” he put on a façade of a smile.
“My parents passed away a long time ago too, but Aunt Rachel and Uncle Jason gave me a home. I’m lucky to have them, just as you were lucky to have your grandparents,” I reflected on our similarities. “I’m sorry they are gone. Is there no one else out there for you?”
“Not family... I ruined a few friendships after Grandpa died. I wouldn’t accept anyone’s help and in the end, alienated some good people. I’m doing better now. Time heals all wounds, or so they say.”
“Some wounds run deeper than others,” I trailed off.
I had my own gaping wound that I had never allowed to mend. My heart, once full of love, had been ravaged and torn into a million pieces. It was the one wound I could control. Once, stupidly and senselessly, when I felt unable to deal with my loss, I had cut myself to end my pain. Those wounds had healed within minutes, without my control, no evidence remained of my trauma. But the loss of Roger, and the wound from that loss, was mine. If I let it heal would there be any trace of him left. I was unmoved in my irrational need to cling to my sorrow. Would my mind erase the memories of Roger, as my body had erased my scars?
Catherine had tried so hard to get me to understand the importance of letting myself heal. She had lost her family, long before we had met. She eventually let go of her sorrow and love had blossomed again, in James. But finding James was a fluke, finding me was a fluke. I never wanted to love again. I wasn’t sure I could mentally recover from another loss. Once was more than I seemed able to bear and time would eventually take everyone away from me, except Catherine and James.
“Where did you go?” Link’s voice roused me from the past.
“I was just thinking about love and loss. It’s a hard thing to live through... losing the ones you love,” I mused.
“How old are you, high scho
ol girl?” he asked softly.
“Seventeen, but today I feel vastly older.”
“Sorry, did I start this depressing conversation? That’s no good. I’ll have to fix that. We should get our minds on something else. Laughter is the best medicine right? How about you and I go to the theater and watch the new comedy that opened? No funny business, just friends,” Link paused, “Can a twenty-two year old guy be friends with a seventeen year old girl?” he asked.
“Almost eighteen,” I interjected. “I really have no idea why I’m doing this, I barely know you, but sure, I’d like that. Why did I just say yes to that?” I truly sounded puzzled by my own decision.
“It’s my powers,” he teased.
“Your awesome powers,” I corrected. “Come inside and wait in the kitchen while I change.”
I led him to the kitchen and ordered him to sit at the counter. I pushed a can of soda and a bag of chips in front of him. “Stay here,” I commanded as I dropped the television remote in his hand.
“Yes ma’am,” he saluted me with a flash of that brilliant smile.
I paused, as a moment of déjà vu washed over me, then shook my head.
I ran upstairs and locked the door to my suite of rooms, a girl can never be too careful. I jumped in the shower for a world record attempt at speed washing. Then I dried off, dressed in jeans and a sweater, applied my make-up, and blew dry my hair all in record time. I ran downstairs to find Link right where I’d left him, channel surfing.
“That wasn’t too long was it?” I asked, slightly out of breath.
“For a girl, that was astounding.”
“I’d look better if I’d taken longer.”
“You look fine, let’s go. I checked movie times while you were upstairs and the next one starts in forty minutes or so. Together or separate...?” Link questioned me, raising his key ring into the air and giving it a jingle.
“Separate. I’ll stop by A Step in Time after the movie’s over. Rachel was headed there after she ate lunch with Jason.” I answered, mentally reviewing my words, hoping I had said the correct names.
