I lowered her onto the bed, following her down onto the mattress. I started tearing at her clothes, frantic to get to her bare skin, managing to rip both her shirt and her panties in my haste to get her naked. When she was finally bared to me, I stopped and gazed at her body, from her full lips to her perfect pussy to her long legs and down to her feet. I wanted every inch of her, and I could never get enough.
"I'm going to eat your sweet pussy all fucking night," I growled in a barely human voice as I crawled off the edge of the bed and knelt on the floor. I grabbed her ankles and dragged her ass to the edge of the bed, pushing her legs apart roughly with my hands. I forced her knees up toward her head for better access, holding her legs there with my palms on the backs of her thighs.
I leaned down and inhaled the scent of her, my face inches from her swollen engorged clit. I could see that her pussy was glistening for me already, and I hadn't even touched her yet. I'd never get tired of the effect I had on her, the way her body hungered for me, craved me. I kissed the inside of each of her thighs, relishing in the way her legs trembled at my touch. I pressed a finger to her entrance and found her soaked and ready for me. She thrust her hips up toward my mouth, silently begging for me to taste her. I delved my tongue into her roughly, flicking and circling her clit in a mad desire to feel her come in my mouth.
I took my left hand and pushed two fingers into her as my tongue continued to work her clit. Her breathing became ragged, and I knew she was getting close. I began moving my fingers, rubbing a sweet spot deep inside her that made her back arch up off the bed. I pressed my tongue down firmly on her clit and felt her entire body shudder inside and out with pleasure as she came long and hard. A keening wail burst out of her mouth, and I chuckled in pure male satisfaction, the vibration on her pussy making her convulse against my face.
I sent her up again, this time watching her hands clutching the sheets in her fists like she was literally trying to keep from flying off the bed in her ecstasy. I'd never seen anyone come like her, never seen the complete abandon and wanton desire that she had for me in anyone else before. I never wanted anyone else ever again.
I made her come again and again and again, trying to see how long it would take for her to start begging for my cock to be inside her. I wanted to hear her beg, fucking needed it. Her arms started flailing, her legs thrashing against the side of my head. She put her feet on my shoulders, and started trying to push me away as the pleasure became too much for her. I ignored her, letting her fight all she wanted as I kept torturing her with orgasm after orgasm.
"Please, oh, please!" she began wailing. Her body was strung so fucking tight with need.
"Please, what?" I raised my head and asked, my voice sounding so low and guttural that I barely recognized it. Her eyes met mine, and I could see her wild frantic need.
"Fuck me, fuck me!" she screamed. "Please, please, please!"
"Fuck yes," I answered her with a growl. I stood and watched her body writhe on the bed as I ripped my clothes off, desperate to be inside her right fucking now. I wiped her juices off my face with my forearm, then crawled on top of her, my body shaking with sheer desire. "I need you so fucking much, baby. Need to be inside you so bad."
She whimpered and moaned incoherently, the sounds she made driving me insane. She spread her legs for me, and her pussy was so drenched that I slid into her in one hard fluid motion, hitting bottom and feeling her insides ripple around my cock. I groaned and growled as I stilled, trying to hold on to my release. I didn't want this to end yet. Her pulsing writhing body was almost my undoing, but I somehow wrested control back and started thrusting into her slow and deep, rolling my hips, so I hit that perfect spot inside Sydney. She screamed on and on, her nails digging painfully into my back as I made her come for what felt like minutes on end. Her body came up off the bed; her limbs flailing as her pleasure continued unchecked underneath me. It was the hottest, most beautiful thing I had ever seen.
Suddenly, her pussy clamped down so hard on my dick that she practically pushed me out of her, and I couldn't hold my release back anymore. I let out a primal grunt as my orgasm plowed into me, then I growled and moaned her name as I came, my back arching, my body convulsing. I felt like my body was merging into hers, our pleasure feeding off each other in a frenzy of sexual release. It was profound and intense, and fucking incredible. I'd never felt such a visceral connection with anyone before in my entire fucking life.
"Fuck!" I shouted. "Fuck, fuck, fuck!" I emptied myself into her, giving her everything and holding back nothing as she screamed my name in ecstasy.
We were left panting and breathing hard as our pleasure finally ebbed, my heart pounding inside my chest as I fought for air. I collapsed down onto my forearms, trying not to crush her under my weight.
"I l...love you," she gasped. "Fucking love you."
I lifted my head, and started kissing her face, telling her how much I loved her, needed her, and wanted to spend my life with her. I finally pulled my cock out of her reluctantly, and fell limply onto the mattress on my side. She immediately rolled over and pressed her back against my chest, snuggling into me. I wrapped her up in a tight heartfelt embrace, burying my face into her hair as sleep came for me.
"Love you, baby," I mumbled. If she responded, I didn't hear it as I slipped away into dreamless oblivion, feeling like the luckiest man on earth.
**********
Everything came to a head at work Monday afternoon around three o'clock. I'd been an unbearable dick for the last two weeks, and I had lost count of the times I had gone off on the guys over stupid shit. Today was no different, except for one thing, I punched three holes in the drywall that they had just hung up. The guys who had been the unlucky recipients of my latest freak out had looked terrified by my outburst. I had never gotten physically violent like this at work before. I had immediately fled to the office trailer in shame. When Uncle Mathias came in a short time later, he found me crying silently at my desk with my head in my hands. I hastily rubbed the tears from my face, trying to hide it as he walked in, but it was too late.
"Hey, kid," he said in a quiet sympathetic voice as he sat in the chair in front of my desk. "Do you need to go home?"
"I think I should," I answered in a thick voice. "I'm sorry."
"Don't worry about it," he replied with a dismissive wave of his hand. "I know you've been going through a lot of fucked-up shit right now."
"What the fuck is wrong with me? I don't get like this at home," I grumbled, angry at myself now.
"What's making you so angry?" he asked curiously.
I stared down at the desk, considering whether I should tell him the truth as I wiped my hand across my mouth. No more lies, no more secrets. David's words suddenly rose up inside my head. Those words could apply to all my relationships, and I was so tired of keeping things from the people who cared about me. It was exhausting, and I didn't have it in me to do it anymore.
"The crew treats me different now," I admitted to him reluctantly. "They look at me like I'm a freak since I tried to kill myself. Like they're waiting for me to go psycho at any moment. It fucking pisses me off."
"I can't even begin to understand what you're going through with this, and I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but maybe you're acting different around them too," he said in a soothing tone. "Reading into things too much, looking for something to be angry about. Lord knows you have every reason to be angry. You've been dealt a shit hand this year, kid."
I wanted to be angry about what he said and tell him he was full of shit, but I realized that was only because it was probably true, and I didn't want to admit it.
"That doesn't make it okay for me to act like a dick."
"No, it doesn't," Mathias agreed. "But maybe you could be a little easier on yourself and the guys, and try to let all this anger go before it tears you apart."
"I'll try," I said wearily.
"Good." He stood and slapped a hand down on my desk. "Now why don't you head
home. Go spend some time with that gorgeous Sydney of yours. I bet she can cheer you up a lot better than an old man like me."
"Okay," I said with a small smile.
"I'll see you tomorrow morning then," he nodded and headed out of the office.
"Huh," I grunted out loud as I stared at the door he had just walked out of. I actually felt better. I guess I should have been sharing things with my uncle all along. I hadn't wanted to burden him with my bullshit, since he had his own pain and loss to bear. However, maybe if we talked about our problems, we could help lessen each other's pain, make it easier to carry. I didn't have to suffer alone anymore, and it was one hell of a revelation. I scooped my phone up off the desk and headed home, feeling like the burden of my pain had lessened already.
**********
"There's a half marathon in October that I was wondering if you'd be interested in running with me?" David asked me as we stretched in the driveway after our run.
"That's thirteen miles right?" I asked apprehensively.
"Thirteen point one," he answered. "I know that seems like a lot right now, but it wouldn't be hard to build your miles up by then. It'd be a lot of fun."
"Your idea of fun is so fucked up," I told him as I shook my head.
"Come on, man," he cajoled, smiling broadly. "Don't be a coward. You know you want to do it." He looked at me with a pleading over dramatic expression. It was ridiculous.
"Why not?" I finally conceded with a shrug.
"Don't sound so excited," David said with a grin as he stood up from his last stretch.
"Yeah," I said sarcastically. "Because running thirteen miles straight sounds like so much fun."
"It could be worse," he added. "I could have asked you to run a full marathon with me."
"Fuck that," I blurted out immediately.
"You say that now..." he trailed off meaningfully.
"And I'll say it then," I continued as I got to my feet and faced him with a wry smile. "Fuck. That."
He was still laughing as he followed me in the front door and up the steps.
We parted in the hall as David went into the downstairs bathroom to clean up, while I headed up to my bathroom. I showered quickly, knowing Sydney would be home soon. I ended up standing in front of the mirror looking at myself after getting out of the shower. My body was relaxed and my face looked calm, like I was comfortable in my own skin. It was a look I hadn't seen in a very long time. I didn't know how long it would last, since I was about to have a session with David, but it was still nice to see. I leaned toward the glass still staring at my reflection.
"Wow, aren't you full of yourself."
"Holy fuck!" I yelled as Sydney's voice startled me. I turned toward the doorway to see her leaning against the door frame with her arms crossed, eying my naked body up and down appreciatively with an amused smile.
"Of course, you are gorgeous," she continued as she straightened and walked slowly toward me. "Who could blame you for getting an eye full of that?" She glanced down at my cock meaningfully.
"You scared the shit out of me," I told her as she stopped in front of me, a smile stretching across my face against my will. Damn it, I wanted to be annoyed, but when she ran her hands across my skin from my abdomen up to my chest, I suddenly didn't care anymore. I pulled her fully clothed body against me, liking the way the fabric of her scrubs brushed against my bare skin. Her hands continued their upward path until they wrapped around the back of my neck.
"Kiss me," she whispered as I lost myself in her gray eyes.
"Yes, ma'am." I nodded and dipped my head. I brushed my lips teasingly across hers, barely touching her. When I tried to pull away, she tightened her grip on my neck and stopped me.
"That's not good enough," she said in a seductive tone. "Not even close. Try again."
"Baby," I said reasonably. "David is downstairs. I don't want to get us all worked up right now. I won't be able to do anything about it." She pouted, her lower lip thrusting out in the most adorable way I had ever seen.
"Please?" she begged, her eyes pleading and so damn sexy. "I just want a kiss."
"Damn, woman," I breathed out heavily. "You are so fucking irresistible." Her face lit up in triumph, and I kissed that victorious smile right off her damn lips, making sure she felt my passion all the way down to her toes. When we were both breathless and unbelievably aroused, I managed to rip my lips away from hers before I jerked her scrub pants down and fucked her up against the vanity.
"Alright, baby," I growled out. "That's enough torture." I watched her pout again, but she didn't press the issue.
"I'm going to go order Chinese," she said as she continued breathing heavily. "Is that okay with you?"
"Sounds good," I said with a disappointed sigh. "I'll be down in a few."
She took one more long look at my body, smiled salaciously with a waggle of her eyebrows, and left the room.
"Fuck me." I sighed as I glanced down at my raging hard on. It was going to be a long night. I growled in frustration as I waited for my dick to settle down, then left the bathroom to get dressed. I pulled on a T-shirt and lounge pants, and went downstairs.
I found Sydney on the couch with her phone to her ear as she ordered our dinner. I sat down next to her, and pulled her feet onto my lap while she smiled and continued ordering. I gently pulled her shoes and socks off, and began rubbing her right foot with firm strokes of my fingers. I watched her body begin to relax as I massaged her instep. I knew she spent a lot of time on her feet since she was a nurse, and I enjoyed caring for her when I could.
When she ended the call, she sighed deeply and met my eyes with affection. "Thanks, baby," she said softly. "I needed that."
"Your welcome," I replied as I switched to her left foot. I stared at her for several long moments, losing myself in her gray eyes and her flawless face.
"Earth to Jensen," she said with a smirk, wiggling her foot to prompt my still fingers to start massaging her foot again.
"Sorry, baby," I grinned at her as I worked my thumb into her arch, making her groan with pleasure.
"When do I get a turn?"
We looked up to see David walking into the room in jeans and a T-shirt, grinning broadly.
"Sorry, David," Sydney said as she looked in his direction. "I don't share." She glanced back at me with an ornery gleam in her eyes. "You don't want to touch his hobbit feet anyway."
"Hey!" David said in mock offense. "I've been told my feet are adorable."
"Yeah, by your mother when you were two," she quipped.
"You're one to talk, Miss Hairy Toes," David responded with a smirk.
"Hey, I shaved that off yesterday."
"Are you sure about that?" I added. Her eyes flew down to check her own feet. "Gotcha," I said smugly. The glare she gave me was adorable.
"How long until the food gets here?" David asked.
"A half-hour or so," Sydney answered as she pulled her feet off my lap. I scooted down to one end of the couch, pulling Sydney with me until she was tucked against my side with my arm around her.
"Why don't we talk about Saturday then?" David suggested as he sat on the opposite end of my couch, turning slightly to face us. "You probably have a lot of questions about what happened to you."
"Yeah," I said. "Like what the fuck happened to me?"
"You were under a lot of stress already when you met me at your mom's house Saturday," David explained calmly. "When we triggered that last panic attack in the garage, your mind went into a dissociative state to protect itself. You walled off all your emotions to cope with the stress. It's like a prey animal when it seems to go somewhere else while the predator is killing it."
"Why don't I remember what happened, and why did I end up where I did?" I asked quietly. This was the part of what happened that I found most distressing.
"I think you had a dissociative flashback, but can't remember it," he continued. "You were probably reliving the accident."
"Fuck." I shuddered. "I'm glad I ca
n't remember then."
"I'm just glad you're still alive," Sydney said in a subdued voice, and I tightened the arm I had around her waist to comfort her. Guilt bubbled up inside me.
"I'm sorry, baby," I told her in a hoarse emotional voice. "I'm so sorry I scared you again." I buried my face in her hair as I tried to keep from tearing up. I'd scared her and hurt her so much already, that I didn't think I'd ever make up for it. I felt a few tears slide down my face. Damn it, I was so sick of crying. I felt Sydney's hand come up to rest against my cheek, and I broke down completely.
Sydney turned in my arms and hugged me to her. I kept my face hidden in her hair, so David couldn't see my weakness as I sobbed. I knew he wouldn't judge me, but Sydney was the only person that I didn't care if they saw me cry. I wasn't sure how long I had been crying, when the doorbell suddenly rang.
"I'll get that," I heard David say softly, but I didn't raise my head from Sydney's neck. "I'll take the food into the kitchen. You guys can join me when you're ready."
"Alright," Sydney answered him quietly as she continued holding me.
"Baby," Sydney said a few minutes later. "Look at me."
I reluctantly lifted my head and met her eyes.
"What are you thinking right now?" she asked me as she wiped a few tears off my face with gentle fingers.
I feel...I feel so guilty," I said thickly, my voice small and insecure. "I've done so many things that hurt you. How can I ever make up for that?"
"Jensen," she whispered my name. "You need to stop doing this. I've already forgiven you. When will you forgive yourself? All this guilt is tearing you apart."
"I don't know how to let it go," I whispered and bowed my head as another round of sobs hit me.
"Shh." She grabbed the sides of my head and lifted my face until I was looking into her sympathetic eyes. "Don't worry. I'll help you figure it out."
"Okay," I said as I started to calm down.
"Let's go eat, and then we can talk to David about it." She stood up and dragged me off the couch with her. She gripped my hand tightly in hers and smiled at me reassuringly. "Come on."
Let Me Heal You: Beautifully Broken Book 3 Page 20
