by Judy Nickles
“She didn’t like that much, I bet.”
“She didn’t like it at all.”
“Then this might not be the time for me to meet her.”
He pushed back the hair that fell over her face despite the barrette holding it and brushed her cheek with the tips of his fingers. “She’s going to have to meet you sometime, because I like you a lot, more than I ever liked anyone else.”
For a moment, the pit of Celeste’s stomach burned, and her knees felt like jelly. “I like you, too, Kent.”
“I wish there was some place we could be by ourselves and have some real privacy,” he said. “Besides the dance floor at the hotel. I’m always looking over my shoulder for some hotel employee who might have seen us come up here.”
“I know a place.” As soon as the words were out of her mouth, guilt kicked in.
“Where?”
“I have a key to the store. Mr. Thomas told me to keep it after we had the going-away party for Paula in the employee lounge. He said somebody ought to be able to get in if there was an emergency, and he was out of town or something.”
“I don’t want you to get in trouble.”
“He won’t know.” What am I saying? Mr. Thomas knows everything that goes on in that store.
“He might find out.”
“Then I’ll explain it to him. He’ll understand.” He’ll understand, but he won’t like it. But Kent’s leaving soon, and this might be our only chance to be alone. Really alone.
They cut through the alley to the back of the store, where Celeste let them in with her key. “There aren’t any windows in the lounge, so we can turn on the light in there.”
Kent made sure the door was locked behind them before he followed her down the dim corridor.
“This is it,” Celeste said, opening a door and flipping on the light. “Such as it is.”
They sat discreetly apart on the cracked leather sofa. “It’s hard to talk when there’re people around,” Kent said after a minute.
“Yes.”
“I’ve decided what to call you.”
“Did you? I thought you’d forgotten.”
“Well, I had to make sure it was just right.”
“So what is it? What’s my new name?”
“Can’t you guess? It’s Velvet.”
“Velvet?”
“Sure. That’s how I always think of you. Soft and pretty in that dress.”
“Velvet.”
Kent reached for her hand. “You’re real special, Velvet.”
Before she realized it, she was in his arms, and he was kissing her harder and more intimately than ever before. “Oh, Velvet,” he whispered, “you’re so beautiful.” His hands caressed her back and slipped down to her waist, then around to her stomach and down. “So, so beautiful.”
She knew he was way past too familiar, as Coralee used to say, but she didn’t care, not until he slipped one hand up under her sweater. “Kent, don’t…”
He didn’t seem to hear her as his fingers crawled down the top of her slip until they were on her bare flesh.
The next thing she knew, she was flat on her back on the sofa with her sweater up around her neck. He began to tug the straps from her shoulders. She felt his lips, moist and searching, where they had no right to be.
“Kent, stop.” She struggled to sit up. “We’re going too far.”
He sat back, a look of confusion on his face. “I thought you liked it.”
“I did…I do, but it’s wrong. You know it’s wrong.”
“I wouldn’t hurt you, Velvet. I’d know when to pull back.”
Moving away from him, she straightened her sweater. “You were way past that.”
His mouth twisted briefly, then relaxed. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”
“I was wrong to suggest coming here. We should go.”
He stood up. “Right.”
“Don’t be mad, Kent.”
“I’m not mad.”
In the alley, when she turned to double-check the door, Kent’s hand went to the knob, too. “It’s locked good and tight.”
Celeste nodded. “This wasn’t a good idea. You know that as well as I do.”
He took her hand. “I’ll walk you home.”
At the end of the block, he kissed her goodnight. “I’ll wait ’til you get inside,” he said, the way he always did. “And I’m sorry things happened like they did.”
“It’s all right.”
He squinted at her in the light from the street lamp. “I’m a man, Velvet.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means that maybe you’re still a little girl.”
A knot of fear formed in the pit of her stomach. “Maybe I am,” she managed to say. “I’ve never been that far before.”
“I could tell.” He made no move to touch her. “But you liked it. And I meant what I said, I know when to stop.”
She felt her mouth tighten. “So you’ve done this before.”
His jaw hardened. “I’m twenty-six, almost twenty-seven years old, Velvet.”
“What does that have to do with it?”
He shook his head. “You really are a little girl.”
“You said you liked me being young—and sweet.”
“I know what I said, and I meant it, but there comes a time when you have to grow up.”
“Grow up as in forget what I believe is right and what’s wrong?”
“Not exactly. A lot of girls—a lot of your friends, I’ll bet—don’t let a guy get started and then put the brakes on like you did.”
She had to swallow the lump in her throat before she could answer him. “I wouldn’t know.”
“Anyway, I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.” He touched her hair. “Goodnight.”
Her eyes fell on her mother’s picture as soon as she turned on the light in her room. “You didn’t put the brakes on,” Celeste said aloud. “I’m proof of that. And I’m not like you, Mamma. I’m not.”
Chapter Eight
Celeste had to re-do her ledger sheet three times on Monday before she got it to balance. Her mind was too full of Kent, the feelings his touch had stirred up, and even a few regrets that she hadn’t let things go on a little longer. If they’d gone on much longer, they’d have gone too far, and he wouldn’t have pulled back, like he said. I knew what I was doing when I used that key. Maybe I even wanted it to happen. Now I’m not sure. Has he been with a girl—really been with her—before? More than one? Does he think being twenty-six years old gives him the right to do everything he wants to do—even that?
“Miss Riley?”
She started. “Yes, sir?”
“I’ve spoken to you twice. Is everything all right?”
“I just had a little trouble with these figures, but they finally tallied.”
“That doesn’t sound like you.”
“No, sir.”
“Want me to go over them for you?”
“They’re all right now.”
“I wondered if you’d like to work downstairs on Saturday afternoon. This is the second girl I’ve had to hire since Paula left, and she’s not doing much better than the first one. Maybe you could help her a bit.”
“I’d be glad to, Mr. Thomas.”
“You don’t have any plans with your young man?”
“I’ll see him at the Canteen Saturday night.”
“If you’re sure.”
“I’m sure.” But I’m not. Maybe he won’t even show up, and if he doesn’t… Quick tears sprang to her eyes, and she turned her head to hide them. If he doesn’t, it will be my fault. But I can’t give him what he wants. I just can’t, no matter what.
****
Claudia Peters reminded Celeste of a movie starlet. “There’s just so much to remember,” the girl said, tugging at her turquoise sateen blouse.
“Not really,” Celeste said, wondering if the girl knew she looked cheap with her skirt and blouse too tight and her makeup too thick and inappropriate for the work
place. “Let’s go over everything again. You’ll catch on.”
When Claudia finally managed to close out her register, Celeste walked upstairs with her to turn in the money to Mr. Thomas. “You’re not from around here, are you?”
“Oh, no. I’m from Brownwood. My boyfriend is out at the airfield.”
“Is he part of the bombardier class? They’re going to graduate and leave soon.”
“I know, but I just had to come be with him.”
Celeste had a feeling she didn’t want to know what with him meant.
“We’ve been together since we were in high school.”
“And you’re not married yet?” slipped out before Celeste could bite her tongue.
“I thought we would be, but, well, he wants to wait.”
Wait for what? To get older? For the war to be over?
“But we’ll get married before he goes overseas, I’m sure.”
“That’s nice.” Does Kent want us to get married before he leaves? Does he want to be sure I’m waiting for him, or does he just want to… Celeste fought the feelings that threatened to take over her body. What’s wrong with me? I didn’t used to think about things like this.
“Kenny’s wonderful. I’d wait for him forever.”
****
Relief washed over Celeste when Kent showed up at the Canteen just after it opened that night. “I was afraid you wouldn’t come,” she said, when he’d maneuvered her to a table in the back and sat down across from her.
“To be honest, I wasn’t sure you’d want me to.”
“It was my fault as much as yours.”
He shrugged. “How was your week?”
“Busy. I worked the floor this afternoon, trying to break in Paula’s second replacement. But she’ll leave, too. Her boyfriend’s out at the field with you, and she only came to San Angelo to be close to him.”
“What’s his name?”
“Claudia just called him Kenny.”
“Claudia? Her name is Claudia?”
“From Brownwood, like you. Do you know her?”
“Bleached blonde?” His brows came together in a scowl.
Celeste nodded.
“Yeah. Yeah, I know her.” He rose so hastily that he almost overturned the chair. “Come on, let’s dance.”
****
When the evening ended, Mrs. Lowe caught Celeste at the door and pulled her aside. “I know you meet your young man at the corner every Saturday night,” she said.
“He walks me home when he can get another ride to the field besides the bus he comes in on.”
“It’s not really… It’s bending the rules a little.”
“I don’t leave with him.”
“I know you don’t. I’m not criticizing you, Celeste. He seems like a nice boy, and the fact that he comes to church with you every Sunday speaks well for him.” She hesitated. “It’s just that a few of the other ladies have noticed.”
“I can tell him not to wait for me anymore.”
“You’d do that?”
“I wouldn’t like it, but he’ll be leaving in a few weeks anyway, and I want to keep helping out at the Canteen.”
“He seems like a nice young man.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
The older woman patted Celeste’s cheek. “I’ll explain things to Ina and Pauline. They’ll understand. We just don’t want anything to upset all the hard work we’ve all put in to get this up and running.”
“No, ma’am, I don’t want that either.”
Mrs. Lowe nodded. “Run on then.”
****
Kent kept his arm around Celeste’s shoulders as they walked through the light mist. “I guess I ought to tell you about Claudia.”
Celeste stiffened. “Are you Kenny? Her boyfriend? Is she here because of you?”
“She won’t leave me alone.” He pulled her closer. “We need to find somewhere to talk.”
“I didn’t bring the key to the store, and I wouldn’t use it if I had it.” Anger—or was it fear—made her not want to hear what he had to say.
“I didn’t mean that,” he snapped.
She bit her lip as the rebuke drilled into her. “We could go sit in the lobby at the Cactus Hotel, I guess.”
“It would be warmer, for sure.”
“All right, for a little while.”
****
Except for a man reading a newspaper in a chair near the elevators, they were alone. Cigar smoke drifted up from behind the paper into the light from the chandelier. “My father smoked cigars,” Kent said and fell silent.
“Claudia said she and her boyfriend had been together since high school,” Celeste prompted.
“We went to high school together. She was wild, one of those girls who…” He touched Celeste’s hair. “Not like you, Velvet.”
Again, Celeste waited, not because she wanted to but because she didn’t know what to say.
“She started acting interested in me during our senior year. Hung around the locker room after basketball practice, changed desks with someone in a couple of classes so she’d have the one next to mine. I felt sorry for her, to tell you the truth. The other guys said awful things about her, and they probably knew what they were talking about. The girls, most of them anyway, wouldn’t have anything to do with her.”
“Can you blame them?”
“I don’t know how girls think, Velvet, but they can be mean. I caught her crying once—I mean, really crying her eyes out one day after school. She showed me a note one of the girls had left on her locker. It was so bad I wouldn’t even tell you what it said. Anyway, I tried to be nice to her, even invited her to our church youth group.”
“Did she come?”
“Oh, yeah, she came, but not for the reasons I wished she would. I’d walk her home afterward. A time or two we stopped for ice cream at a little stand near the church.” He sucked in a long breath and blew it out. “And I took her to the senior prom.”
“Why?”
“She wasn’t all bad. Nobody is, you know.”
“I know.” August Riley’s face flashed across Celeste’s mind.
“After that, I went off to the CCC, but she always seemed to know when I was home and called or came over. Mother didn’t like it. Didn’t like Claudia.” He took Celeste’s hands between his. “She went off for a while, too, but then I ran into her again just before I came up here. That’s how she knew where I was.”
“Why does she think you’re her boyfriend?”
Kent didn’t meet her eyes. “I don’t know. I guess she needs to feel like somebody cares about her.”
“What about her family?”
“Her father took off when she was little. There’s an older brother and a younger one. But I’m not her boyfriend, Velvet. Never was, never will be.”
“All right.”
“But if she knows we’re seeing each other, she’ll make trouble for you.”
“I can take care of myself.”
“You don’t know Claudia.”
“And I don’t think I want to. I’ll make some excuse if Mr. Thomas asks me to help her again.”
“That’s probably a good idea.”
“What about you? What are you going to do if you run into her?”
“I don’t know. But I’ll be leaving here in December.”
“December’s almost here.”
He squeezed her hands. “I wish…I wish we could settle things between us before I leave.”
“Settle things how?”
“I love you, Velvet. I know it’s too soon to ask you to marry me.”
“Are you asking?”
“I guess I am.”
She gritted her teeth against the uncomfortable stirring deep inside her body. “I don’t think either of us is sure enough of our feelings to get married. Mrs. Lowe says there’ll be a lot of broken marriages after the war is over.” I don’t want ours to be one of them, but what if you never come home? What if we never have another chance to be together?
“She’s probably right. Like I said, when you put on a uniform, you understand everything that means. I’m going to go drop bombs on people, and they aren’t going to like it, so they’ll shoot back at me and maybe…”
“Don’t, Kent.”
“I better get you home.”
“We’ll work things out. The war won’t last forever.”
He gave her a hand up and buttoned her coat under her chin. “It hasn’t even gotten started,” he said. “We’re in for a long haul.”
****
Celeste tried to sleep, but at four o’clock she was still awake. No matter what Kent said about his feelings toward Claudia, the girl felt otherwise. It’s not Kent’s fault, but she’s here, and she’s going to be a problem. Celeste turned over and scrunched the pillow under her face. We’ve already had one problem. If he got so…so serious with me, what did he do with a girl who let boys do that sort of thing?
She sat up and switched on the lamp beside her bed. “What did you let someone do, Mamma? Or a whole lot of someones?”
Her mother’s face, forever young, smiled from the frame on the dressing table.
What was it like to be married when you were only fifteen? And to a man twice your age? Did you love him, or did you just want something from him? What did you want—a home? Babies? Or something else?
At six-thirty, still sleepless and knowing everyone on the ranch would be awake, she managed to stretch the phone cord inside her room and shut the door.
“Cece, what in the world…” Coralee’s voice, tinged with panic, didn’t even make Celeste feel guilty.
“Tell me about Mamma, Sister.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Why did she marry Daddy when she was fifteen? Did she have to?”
Static crackled along the line, but it didn’t mask Coralee’s silence.
“She did, didn’t she?”
“Yes.”
“Did she love him?”
“I don’t know.”
“Did he love her?”
“Yes.”
“Did she love us?”
“Yes.”
“And Daddy loved her so much that he took me just to get her back.”
“She was a good mother, Cece. She took good care of us.”
