by Judy Nickles
“Is that what she tried to do?”
“I thought so at the time. Maybe I still do. Sometimes I think that’s one of the reasons why I got messed up with Claudia.”
“You said that before, in another way. You were tired of being told what to do and when to do it.”
“I’m not making any excuses for myself, understand. I was just plain wrong. As wrong as a guy can be, and now my chickens have come home to roost just like Mother said they would.”
“You’ve done well for yourself, and now you’re going to school and be a lawyer just like you always wanted to.”
“Yeah, I guess. You’ve done good, too, Velvet. You’re not the same girl who dropped the apple on my head nearly five years ago.”
“I don’t even remember her.”
“She was sweet and innocent, and that blue velvet dress was going to change her life.”
“Yes, it was. In a way, it did.”
“I’m not the same person either, you know. Not the same guy who tried to make it with you on the sofa in the employees’ lounge that night. The one who took it as a personal affront that you wouldn’t sleep with him the night before he shipped out. That showed up my real immaturity.”
“A lot has happened since then.”
“A lot of water under the bridge. A lifetime. If I met you now…as who I am now…well, things might’ve been different.” Kent put his lips against her hair.
“How?”
“I’m not sure. Just different.”
As the conversation dwindled, Celeste let herself drift into the secure warmth of Kent’s presence. The back-and-forth motion of the swing lulled her into a contented state between waking and sleeping. The moment was interrupted without warning as the sound of Jonny’s voice brought her upright. His wide eyes mirrored near-panic.
“I woke up, and nobody was there.”
She scooted over and made room for him between herself and Kent. “Did you have a bad dream?” she asked, smoothing his tousled hair.
“I don’t remember. I woke up, and all the lights were on, but nobody was there. And I cried.”
“You cried tonight?”
He shook his head. “No, when it happened. You know, in the other place. I looked and looked and couldn’t find anybody, and I hid under the table in the kitchen and cried. I was scared.” He squirmed. “But I’m too big to be scared now.”
Kent got up and leaned on the porch railing. “You’re never too big to be scared.”
“Really?” The incredulity in the little voice made Celeste smile.
Kent turned around. “Let me tell you something, pal. I started being scared every time that plane took off, and I didn’t stop until we were back on the ground.”
“Really? You were scared?”
“I lived and breathed scared. But that’s not a bad thing, see. Sometimes being scared helps you be more careful about things. It made me do my job the best I could so we could get the h-, so we could get out of there and go home.”
“Dropping the bombs.”
“Right.” Kent sat down again. “Did you get left by yourself a lot?”
“I guess.”
“You said you didn’t mind being by yourself on Saturday mornings,” Celeste said.
“That was different. You’re here when I wake up, and we eat breakfast, and then Mrs. Aikman comes over sometimes, and I know you’ll be home…” He ran out of breath and leaned against Celeste. “It’s different, that’s all. And I don’t need a babysitter next summer, either.”
“We’ll see.”
“That means no.”
Celeste laughed. “I’m such a mean Mom.”
Jonny lifted his face to hers. “No, you’re not. You’re the nicest Mom in the whole world.”
Kent half rose, then sat down again. Jonny snuggled against Celeste. In a few minutes, he was asleep.
“I’ll carry him back to bed,” Kent said. “He’s too big for you.”
When he came back, he took Celeste in his arms again. “He had a rotten time of it, didn’t he?”
“He doesn’t say much, and I don’t ask him about it. Sometimes he lets something slip, like he did tonight.”
“But it’s all behind him now.”
“Not really. I don’t think he’ll ever forget how things were before he came here. I haven’t forgotten how Daddy treated me, but I don’t think about it much anymore.”
“I guess you’re right. I won’t ever forget the war, either, and I didn’t have it anywhere near as bad as the guys on the ground.”
“You didn’t get a Silver Star for nothing.”
“I’ll tell you about it someday, but it doesn’t matter much right now. The decoration, I mean. It’s over. I was lucky enough to get home and get on with life.”
“Have you? Gotten on with your life, I mean.”
“I guess so.”
“It takes a little while to readjust, Kent, but you will. You’ll do everything you want to do.”
He stroked her cheek. “Sure. Sure, I will if you think so.”
****
The next morning, Celeste insisted on walking Jonny down the narrow, winding stairs to his Sunday School class. “You don’t need another bump on the head,” she said when he complained that he wasn’t a baby. But she settled on waiting for him at the top of the stairs before church. In the middle of the first hymn, Kent slid into the pew beside them. Jonny moved a little closer to Celeste, but she noticed he also gave Kent a look of pure adoration.
****
To her surprise, Kent accepted her invitation to lunch. Jonny practically fell over his feet when Kent said he could ride home with him. “I got permission to let the boy crawl around in one of the B-17s out at the field,” Kent told her while he set the table for lunch. “You can come, too.”
“He’ll like that, but watch him, Kent. He doesn’t need to fall or…”
“I’ll be right on his tail every second. I told my CO about him getting hurt. He’s bending the rules, even though the planes are due to be scrapped.”
“That’s too bad.”
“I’ll be glad to see them go. All of them.”
****
He brought Jonny back just before supper. “You shoulda seen ’em, Mom! They were so big. Kent showed me where the bomb thing was. The Nor…Nor…”
“Norden,” Kent said. “They’ve all been removed, but I explained how they worked, more or less.”
“And I got to sit in the pilot’s seat and fly and shoot the guns out the sides and go down in the big glass ball that has a gun and turns around.”
“Ball turret,” Kent supplied.
“Ball turret. Are you going to eat supper with us?”
“I have to go back.”
Jonny’s face fell. “Oh.”
“I’ll see you next weekend, maybe.”
“Okay.” He stuck out his hand. “Thanks a lot, Kent.”
They shook hands. “You’re welcome, Jonny.”
“That’s the first time you’ve called him something besides ‘the boy,’ ” Celeste observed when she walked out with him.
“I guess so.”
“Did you tell him to call you Kent?”
“I sure didn’t tell him to call me Lt. Goddard. He’d put two and two together.”
“And come up with five.”
“I don’t know, Velvet. He had a good time this afternoon. That’s all he’s thinking about right now.”
“I can tell. It was nice of you, Kent. Thank you.”
“I do have to get back. I’ve got a bunch leaving tomorrow for the discharge center at Ft. Riley.”
“The class you just finished?”
“Yeah, but Uncle Sam doesn’t need bombardiers now.”
“I’m glad.”
On the front porch, he kissed her twice. “See you soon.”
“Soon.”
“I love you, Velvet.”
She nodded. “I love you, too.”
Chapter Thirty
“I got my or
ders,” Kent said, when he called on the fifteenth of October. “I leave next week.”
“Oh, Kent, so soon?”
“I’ll be at the discharge center until my papers are processed, and then I’m officially a civilian again.”
“So then you’ll go home.”
“Just for a visit, and a short one at that. Mother’s already hounding me about taking that job with the plumbing supply company and living at home.”
“She doesn’t want you to go to school?”
“Not if it means moving out of town. But that’s the way it has to be. Listen, I’m going to bring you some money this weekend.”
“You’ve still got two months before your school funding kicks in. You have to live.”
“I’ll be okay. I’ve got something in the works. I’ll tell you about it this weekend.”
“I can get a babysitter for Saturday night.”
“It would be nice to go to the Canteen one last time. I hear it’s closing down in December.”
“November, actually. Mrs. Lowe and the others decided the time has come. It’s harder to get volunteers now. Everybody wants to get back to normal and forget about the war.”
“I don’t blame them. Okay, then, we’ll go dancing.”
“I’ll have to go as a volunteer, but Mrs. Lowe will be okay with that. I’ll call her tomorrow.”
Kent showed up for supper on Saturday night with flowers for Celeste and a puzzle for Jonny. “You won’t get this finished in a month of Sundays,” he said.
“Bet I will. Look, Mom, it’s a plane.”
“A B-24, not a 17. They’re bigger.”
“You can use the dining room table,” Celeste told Jonny. “Fold up the cloth and put it on the sideboard.”
“Thanks, Kent,” he called over his shoulder as he ran off.
Kent kissed the back of Celeste’s neck. “I miss seeing you in the blue velvet dress.”
“I was going to wear it, until the warm weather came back this week.”
“Warm weather or the part of a past that you don’t want to bring back?”
“Maybe both. You can set the table.”
“I thought that was Jonny’s job.”
“You brought him a new toy, remember?”
Kent laughed. “He sure liked it. Maybe he’ll grow up and be a pilot. Have a career in the military.”
“I hope not.”
“I meant in the peacetime army, Velvet.”
“Maybe that would be all right.”
“I decided not to stay in the reserves. I don’t want to get called up again before I finish school.”
“Do you think you would?”
“Can’t tell.”
He slid an envelope from his pocket and laid it on the cabinet. “Here’s the money I promised you. Use it however you want to. On the hospital bill or for something you need.”
“Kent, I’m doing all right.”
“I want you to have it. There’s a hundred dollars there.”
“A hundred dollars!”
He opened the cabinet and took out three plates. “Just take it, Velvet. I owe you a lot more.”
“You don’t owe me anything.”
“Sure, I do. I owe Jonny, anyway.”
“You’ve spent a lot of time with him. That’s all he wants.”
“He’s a good kid.”
After Mrs. Aikman walked over to stay with Jonny, Celeste and Kent left for the Canteen. “I told you I had some things in the works,” Kent said as he parked. “I’m going home for a visit—can’t get out of that. Anyway, I want to spend some time with my brother. Then I’m coming back here until I start school in Austin after Christmas.”
“Here? How?”
“Well, I took that job with the plumbing supply company but only on a temporary basis. They want to set up a warehouse here because of the location. San Angelo’s sort of a good hub for a wheel covering this area. Anyway, they’ve rented a place down on Oakes Street, near those railroad storage places, and I’m going to set things up and hire a staff.”
“That’s wonderful, Kent.”
“It’s a pretty sweet deal, all right. I was at the right place at the right time.”
“What about a place to live?”
He grinned. “Mrs. Clay was more than happy to rent me your old room.”
“That’s too much of a coincidence.”
He held up his hand as if to swear. “It’s true. It’ll come empty just a few days before I need it.”
“I’m so glad.” She felt his arms slip around her.
“Me, too.” His lips caressed hers, gently at first, then harder. “I love you so much.”
And I love you, too, more than I have words to say. Lately it’s been almost like we were a real family…a family like we could be if…but I know I can’t count on anything. Just tonight. Maybe tomorrow. But after that… She pressed closer in his arms.
“You okay, Velvet?”
“Yes.”
“You’re trembling.”
“Am I?”
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong, Kent. Everything’s right.” Tonight, anyway. I won’t even think about tomorrow and the day after that and…
She gave herself up to his lips on hers, his hands stroking her hair and neck, and the security of his warm bulk against her.
****
The Canteen was practically empty that night, so Celeste had plenty of free time to spend dancing with Kent. “We’ve had a good long run,” Mrs. Lowe told them, pausing at their table. “I think we helped.”
“I know you did,” Kent said.
She patted him. “What’s next for the two of you?”
“Kent’s going to school,” Celeste said before he could reply. “He’s going to be a lawyer.”
“Are you and Jonny going along?”
It was Celeste’s turn to search for words.
“I’ll be back here working a temporary job until after Christmas,” Kent said, not looking at Celeste. “And you don’t uproot a kid in the middle of the school year.”
“That’s true, you don’t. Well, I’m sure the two of you will work it out.” She moved away.
Kent stood up. “Let’s dance, Velvet.”
****
After church the next day, Kent took Celeste and Jonny to lunch at Watson’s Cafe. “Miss Ruby’s homemade pies have meringue a foot tall,” he told Jonny.
“Do not. You’re pulling my leg.”
“Just a little.”
“A foot is as tall as a ruler.”
“I think you’ve grown a foot lately.”
“You think so? Really?”
“At least.”
Jonny squirmed in the old-fashioned ice cream parlor chair. “I hope I’m gonna be big like you.”
Celeste felt Kent withdraw momentarily, but then he was back.
“Who knows, pal? You’ve got a few years to go.”
After lunch, they started down the sidewalk, past the high school gym and on toward the junior college. “I went to school here, and so will you,” Celeste told Jonny.
He darted up the steps and tugged at one of the locked gym doors. “I bet I play basketball in there.”
“Could be,” Kent said.
Jonny hit the second step and jumped the rest of the way to the sidewalk. Kent reached to steady him. “Take it easy, pal. You don’t want to crack your noggin again.”
Celeste watched Kent fold the child’s hand into his. Oh, Kent, he loves you. I love you. Will you miss us the way we’re going to miss you?
****
After Kent left for the field, Celeste went to tuck Jonny into bed. “I had a good time today,” he said, relinquishing his comic books without the usual protest.
“I did, too, Jonny.”
“Miss Ruby’s pie really did have meringue a foot tall.”
“Maybe not quite.”
“It was fun taking a walk, too. It was like we…” His voice trailed off.
Celeste knew she
shouldn’t ask, but she did anyway. “Like we what?”
Jonny scooted down in the bed and turned his face away from her. “Like we were a real family,” he mumbled. “You know, a mom and a dad and…” His voice trailed off.
Celeste rested her hand on his hair. “I guess it was like that.”
“I wish Kent wasn’t leaving.”
“I do, too, but he’ll come back to visit.”
“It’ll be just you and me again, won’t it?”
“You said we were a team.”
“Yeah.” His yawn was mostly contrived. “’Night, Mom.”
Celeste leaned over and kissed his forehead. “’Night, Jonny.”
In the hall, she leaned against the door and pressed her fists into her eyes.
****
Kent came by the store on Monday. “I’m leaving for Brownwood a little early,” he said. “I’ll park my car there and catch a bus up to Ft. Riley.”
“Why don’t the two of you take a little break in the employee lounge,” Mr. Thomas suggested.
“Sounds good to me,” Kent said. “Thanks.”
“And lock the door,” the man called after them.
Downstairs Kent cradled Celeste in his arms. “I’ll miss you.”
“I’ll miss you.”
“I’ll call when I can.”
“All right.”
He took her face in his hands and kissed her. “I love you, Velvet. It’s been good for us lately.”
“I think so, too.”
“I know we still have some things to work out.”
“Yes.”
“I’m not going to tell you I can be part of Jonny’s life, the way he needs a man in his life. Not unless I’m sure I can do it. That would be worse than nothing.”
“Yes.”
“Sometimes I think he’s kind of attached himself to me, and other times he seems to be holding me at arm’s length.”
“I think he senses things might be changing for all of us, and he isn’t sure that’s what he wants.”
“You’ve done a good job, Velvet. A great job, as a matter of fact.”
“I wasn’t sure I could be a good mother. I hardly remember mine. But Coralee filled in with me, and I’ve seen her with Barbara. Pearl’s a wonderful example, too.”
“I think you had it in you, and when the chips were down, you pulled it out.”
“Maybe I did.”
He kissed her again. “I’m going to say something I probably shouldn’t, but you probably know it already. I still want you, Velvet. Want you more than I ever did. But I’ve been faithful to you. A little late, maybe, but faithful all the same.”
