by Anne Herries
‘Have you been to see Lisa? Toby told me that he saw you with Miss Barton on your way there.’
‘I took her my gift. I had bought her a doll. She received several dolls, but mine had curly hair like hers and that pleased her.’ Amelia lifted her hand to her own neat, dark locks. She had allowed her maid to dress it in a softer style and believed it suited her. ‘I have made Lisa a promise on your behalf, Gerard. She seemed to think that she must not expect us to visit her for more than half an hour in the mornings. I told her that when we were married I should take her for walks—and that you would teach her to ride a pony. I hope I have not spoken out of turn?’
‘Of course you have not,’ Gerard assured her instantly. ‘I had intended to buy the child a pony quite soon—and I shall certainly teach her to ride it myself. Since we shall be spending much of our lives in the country there will be plenty of time for such pleasures. You must feel free to do as you think best, Amelia. I am confident that your sure judgement will bring many benefits to both Lisa’s life and my own.’
‘I shall do my best to be the mother she lacks.’
‘You will be the best mother she could have—the only one she has known.’
‘I am glad you feel as I do,’ Amelia said. ‘I know that in many families the children are confined to the nursery until they are old enough to come out—but I do not approve of such rigid rules. Naturally, they must study and there are times when they might be a nuisance to guests, but when it is just the family I hope we shall often be together.’
He gave her a look of warm approval. ‘You are a constant delight to me. I knew you would be generous towards my daughter—but this is more than I could have expected.’
‘I love her. She is a delightful child, Gerard.’
A tiny pinprick of hurt entered her heart, because it was so obvious that he wanted and needed a mother for Lisa. Would any woman have done—or did he feel something stronger toward her?
‘Yes, she is.’ He smiled and took a small box from inside his coat. ‘This is my gift to you for today, Amelia. I shall be sending for the family jewels and you may make your choice of them—though I warn you that they will need to be refurbished for they are heavy and old-fashioned. This is something I thought might please you.’
Amelia unwrapped the box and took out the beautiful diamond brooch inside. It was shaped like a delicate bouquet of flowers and the heads trembled as she took it from its box.
‘This is beautiful,’ she said and pinned it to her gown. She reached into the pocket of her gown. ‘I have a small gift for you, Gerard—it is a mere trinket…’ In value, it was a similar gift to the one she had given Toby Sinclair, something she might have given to any member of her close friends and family. Not what she might have chosen had she known they would be engaged by Christmas Day.
He took the box and dispensed with the wrappings, revealing the silvergilt card case. ‘More than a trinket, Amelia. Thank you.’
Amelia shook her head, changing the subject. ‘Emily was saying that she would not walk alone, because of what happened last night. I too think it would be best to take care for the moment. I wondered if we might take Lisa for a little ride in your carriage after dinner?’
‘I see no reason why we should not go for a drive,’ Gerard said. ‘As for what happened last night, the matter is in hand. Any strangers seen on the estate will be stopped and questioned.’
Amelia recalled what Lisa had told her about the nanny speaking to a man in the gardens—a man the woman had spoken to before. However, she had no reason to suppose that the man could have anything to do with the incident outside the church. As unlikely as it seemed, Nanny probably had a follower.
Dismissing the nanny from her mind, she smiled as Susannah came up to them. She was wearing the pearl-and-diamond pendant that Amelia had given her as a Christmas gift and the next few minutes were taken up with her delight and her gratitude. By the time Amelia and Gerard spoke again, the nanny had been forgotten.
It was a pleasant morning. Amelia exchanged gifts with several friends, enjoying some music before nuncheon. After they had eaten, Gerard sent for his carriage. Lisa’s nurse brought her downstairs. She was wearing a pretty pink coat and hat and had a fur muff that her papa had given her. She was excited to be going for a drive, chattering about the many gifts that she had received that morning.
‘I had four dolls altogether, Papa—was I not fortunate?’ she said as they went out to the carriage. ‘One was broken.’
Gerard’s attention was caught. ‘A broken doll—who gave you that, my love?’
‘I do not know, Papa. I asked Nurse Mary. She said there was no card.’
‘I shall have a look at the doll later,’ Gerard said. ‘It was a shame the doll was broken.’ His eyes met Amelia’s over Lisa’s head.
‘I did not mind,’ Lisa said. ‘I had so many pretty things. I did not expect so many presents. Nanny said it was obscene for one small child to have so many expensive clothes as I have. What does obscene mean, Papa?’
‘I think it means that I spoil you,’ Gerard said, but his mouth had pulled into a grim line.
Amelia touched his hand. He glanced at her but his expression remained grim.
‘I have been spoiled too,’ Amelia said and smiled at the child as she touched the brooch she was wearing. She had fastened it to the scarf Emily had given her, and she was wearing a new black velvet cloak she had purchased in London; it had a fur lining and was very warm.‘ I was given this lovely scarf and this brooch—do you see how it trembles as I move?’
‘Did Papa give it to you?’ Amelia nodded. ‘It is very beautiful—but you are très ravissante, Melia. Papa will be lucky when you marry him.’
‘We shall all be lucky to have each other,’ Amelia said. ‘Look, Lisa—can you see the deer over there? I think they have come closer to the house than usual. I know that Susannah has food put out for them when the weather is inclement.’
‘They are lovely…’ Lisa said, pressing her face to the carriage window. ‘Papa, do we have deer at Ravenshead?’
‘I believe not,’ he said. ‘We might have some brought into the park if you would like that, Lisa.’ His face had relaxed. He smiled as he met Amelia’s eyes. She nodded slightly, understanding his feelings. The broken doll was worrying, but might simply be a coincidence.
‘Oh, yes, please. I should love that, Papa—and could I please have a puppy…?’
‘Is there anything else, miss?’ he asked, brows rising indulgently.
‘Oh, no, Papa,’ Lisa said and put her hand into Amelia’s. ‘But Melia did say I should tell you anything I wanted.’
‘Did she, indeed?’ Gerard laughed. ‘I can see that I am to be petticoat-led now that I have two beautiful ladies in my life.’
Amelia was pleased that he had managed to put his worries to one side, and yet she sensed a shadow hanging over them.
She glanced out of the carriage window. A light dusting of snow clung to the trees and shrubs, but it was beginning to melt. A pale sun had brightened the day. Shadows might gather in the distance, but for today Amelia would try to forget them and think only of pleasant things.
Lisa was singing a little French song when Amelia took her up to the nursery and handed her back to Mary. The little girl turned to her, hugging her as she took her leave.
‘Thank you for my lovely afternoon, Melia.’
‘You are very welcome, Lisa. It was a pleasure for me.’
Amelia smiled and left the child with her nurse. The future was looking so much brighter. Children were a blessing and already the ache she had carried deep inside her was easing. She was a mother to Gerard’s daughter and in time they would have others of their own.
She hastened to the apartments she shared with Emily, because the hour was late and she would have to hurry if she were to change and be ready in time for dinner. As she entered the little parlour, the sound of sobbing met her. The sight of Emily weeping desperately brought her to a halt.
; She went to her at once. ‘Emily, dearest—what is wrong?’
‘Oh…Amelia…’ Emily lifted her head to look at her. ‘Forgive me. I did not mean you to see me like this…’ She wiped her hand across her face. ‘I should have gone to my bedchamber.’
‘Do not be foolish. You should not hide your tears from me, Emily. Can you not tell me what is wrong?’
‘I spoke to Mr Sinclair when we exchanged gifts,’ Emily said, her body shaken by a deep, hurtful sob. ‘He gave me a beautiful sapphire-and-diamond ring and I…told him that I could not marry him. He asked me why and I told him that I had given birth to a child…’ She bent her head, the tears falling once more.
‘Emily, my love.’ Amelia knelt down beside her and took her hand. ‘Did you explain that you were forced?’ Emily shook her head and Amelia gave her fingers a gentle squeeze ‘You should have made that plain. He did not understand the circumstances.’
‘He did not give me a chance,’ Emily said. She took a kerchief from her sleeve and wiped her face. ‘He looked so stunned, Amelia. It was as if I had thrown a jug of cold water over him. He drew back, shaking his head and looked…as if he could not bear the sight of me. I think he must hate me now.’
‘Emily! I am certain it was merely shock. He did not understand the circumstances. Mr Sinclair is a gentleman. I do not believe he would have done that to you deliberately.’
‘I begged him not to look at me that way. I pleaded for a chance to explain, but he said that he must have time—and then he walked away and left me. It is over. He has a disgust of me now.’
‘He was shocked, that is all. I am sure that when he has recovered from his…’ Amelia paused, searching for the right word.
‘Disappointment?’ Emily lifted her head. ‘I saw it in his eyes, Amelia. He was stunned, disappointed, even revolted—I think he could not bear the idea that I had been with another man.’
‘It must have been upsetting for him, but he may have thought you had a love child, Emily. You must try to understand that he had put you on a pedestal. He may have misunderstood you. He may think that you took a lover. You must tell him the truth.’
‘I could not! I do not think I could bear to face him again.’
‘Emily dearest,’ Amelia said, ‘I understand that it would be too difficult for you to tell him every-thing—but I could speak to him. I could explain how badly your family treated you. I am hopeful that once he has had time to think about things he will still wish to marry you.’
‘No! Please do not,’ Emily begged, a sob in her voice. ‘I cannot bear to speak of it.’ She jumped to her feet and ran into her own bedroom, shutting the door and locking it be hind her.Amelia knocked at the door.
‘Emily. Please listen to me. You must not let this destroy you. If Mr Sinclair truly loves you it will all come right. Do not throw away your chance of happiness too soon.’
‘Please do not ask me to see him. I shall not come down this evening.’
‘Emily…’
Amelia sighed as she heard a renewal of wild sobbing from her companion. In the hall downstairs the longcase clock was chiming the hour. She realised with a start that she would be late for dinner. She must hurry and change her clothes. Emily would come to her senses when she had cried herself to sleep. In the morning they would talk about things calmly—and she would have a few words with Mr Sinclair. If he had behaved as badly as Emily claimed, he was not the gentleman she had thought him!
Amelia apologised to the company when she joined them in the drawing room. She spoke to Susannah, telling her that Emily had a headache and would not be joining them that evening.
‘I am so sorry.’ Susannah was concerned. ‘I hope it is nothing serious. Should we send for the doctor?’
‘No, I am sure that will not be necessary,’ Amelia told her. ‘I am sorry if Emily’s absence has unbalanced your dining table.’
‘As it happens she is not the only guest missing,’ Susannah replied. ‘Toby Sinclair received a message from home and left us two hours ago. His parents had not joined us for Christmas because Mr Sinclair was feeling a little unwell. He had insisted that his son join his friends, but perhaps he has taken a turn for the worse. Toby seemed in a strange mood. He was abrupt—distant—and that is not like him…not like him at all. Harry thinks that his brother-in-law must be quite ill to send for his son.’
‘I am sorry to hear it. Illness in the family is distressing, especially at this time of the year.’
‘Had it been at any other time Harry would have gone to his sister immediately, but we cannot desert our guests. Lady Elizabeth is staying with her daughter this Christmas, so Harry’s sister will not be completely alone should anything happen.’
‘We must hope that it is not serious.’ Amelia was thoughtful as she joined the guests moving into the long dining room. If Toby Sinclair had received bad news, it was understandable that he had left—but he ought to have left a note for Emily.
Gerard came to offer her his arm. ‘You look serious, Amelia. Is something wrong?’
‘Emily has a headache. I am sure she will be better in the morning.’
‘I am sorry she is unwell. I understand that Toby has taken himself off in a hurry—there wouldn’t be a connection?’
‘Perhaps—but I cannot tell you, for it is not my secret.’
‘Then you must keep it.’ He paused, then, ‘I have spoken to Lisa’s nurse and looked at the doll. It is not the same as the one I had sent to me. I believe it may just be a coincidence—I must hope so, otherwise it would be serious. If I believed the child was threatened, I should take her back to France.’
‘I think we must talk about this matter. I know your opinion—but I am not sure.’ Amelia shook her head as his brows lifted. ‘We shall not discuss this tonight. The morning will be soon enough, but I must tell you that I believe your theory about my brother may be wrong.’
‘Yes, you may be correct. We shall talk tomorrow, Amelia. We must make arrangements for the future and discuss this other business.’
‘Yes, the morning will be time enough. We shall enjoy this evening, for Susannah has gone to so much trouble for us all.’
Chapter Four
Throughout dinner Gerard was very aware of the woman sitting beside him. She was lovely, but more than that she had an air of serenity, a presence that was lacking in so many other ladies. He was not certain why she had accepted his proposal of marriage. Was it only that she wished to be married and felt comfortable in his presence? They were good friends and shared an interest in many things. Marriage to Amelia would, he had no doubt, be pleasant and comfortable whatever the case, but he was not looking for someone to place his slippers by the fire and arrange for his favourite meals to be served. He wanted so much more! He wanted a woman who would welcome him to her bed with open arms.
The scent of her perfume was intoxicating. She seemed to smell of flowers and yet there was a subtle fragrance that was all her own. The sight of her, the way she turned her head, the way she moved, her voice…her smile…all these things set him on fire with longing. He wanted to take her in his arms and make love to her that very night, but was not sure that she would welcome a show of passion.
Amelia’s manner gave little away. Her first reaction to his proposal had seemed positive, but since then she had become more reserved. He was not sure why. The incident at the church had been upsetting, of course—but he did not think Amelia would allow that to upset her. She had insisted that she wished to go on with the engagement.
Was it something in Gerard himself that had caused her to withdraw? He knew that his rejection of Lisette the night she had crept into his bed had been the reason for her desperate unhappiness. He had not been able to tell Amelia that he had rejected Lisette’s attempt to ask for his love. After her death he had regretted his curt manner that night. He had married her on a whim, indulging his sense of honour and pity—and he had still been angry with Amelia and her brother. Later, when he began to realise that there was only
one woman he wanted despite what had happened, he had regretted the impulse that had urged him to wed a woman he did not know or love. However, he had meant to honour his promise, but, in rejecting Lisette when she tried to give herself to him, he had hurt her. He believed it was his rejection that had driven her to take her own life. Perhaps there was more, perhaps he was incapable of making a woman happy…
‘Susannah is a wonderful hostess, is she not?’ Amelia remarked, breaking into his thoughts. ‘When I recall how anxious she was the first time she stayed here, I cannot believe how much she has matured.’
‘Harry seems very content with his family,’ Gerard replied. He smiled inwardly, wondering if Amelia guessed how aroused he was when she turned to him and made some intimate remark. It was fortunate that the table hid the evidence of his intense need at that moment. He must think of other things!
Several times since the incident outside the church he had wondered if he had placed Amelia’s life in danger by proposing. Harry was aware of his anxious thoughts and had been forthright in his opinion.
‘I have no idea who this enemy of yours is, Gerard—but to give in to him would be more dangerous, believe me. If it is Royston, Amelia would be at his mercy, and if it is not…’ He shook his head and frowned. ‘She would never truly be safe—and nor, my friend, would you.’
‘Then we are working in the dark. I have searched my memory for someone I have offended, but I can think of no one—at least, no one who would think it worthwhile to kill Amelia simply to spite me. I am still of the opinion that the plotter is Royston.’
‘You may well be right, but Susannah is very close to Amelia. She thinks that Amelia is doubtful about her brother being the culprit.’
‘It would be hard for any woman to accept such an idea,’ Gerard said. ‘I have not tried to impress my feelings on her, but for the moment I can see no other reason for the attempt on her life.’
Gerard felt Amelia’s loss keenly when the ladies retired to the drawing room to take tea. He wished that he could follow at once, but custom dictated that he remain with the gentlemen to drink port and discuss politics and sport. When the gentlemen at last made their move towards the drawing room, Harry invited him to play a game of billiards. Not wanting to offend his friend, he agreed.
