by S. Cook
I couldn’t wait to make my escape before I humiliated myself further.
Chapter Nine
“Did your neighbor ever return your plate of cookies?” Tammy asked as we sipped our margaritas and stared at the view of the city.
We were standing on my balcony, enjoying cocktails before Tammy had to leave for Austin to visit her boyfriend’s parents for the weekend.
I nearly choked on my drink, but was able to keep it down. “What? The plate? Yeah, he—wait, no, he hasn’t.”
Tammy gave me an appraising look. “Yes he did, or no he didn’t?”
“He hasn’t given it back.”
“You haven’t seen him all this time?”
It had been two weeks since I’d raced across the hall from Liam’s apartment, wearing nothing but his t-shirt with my damp bikini in my hand. That made us even—I had his t-shirt and he had my plate.
Not that I really wanted it back.
It would mean that I would have to see him again, and after what happened between us, I doubted I could look him in the eye and not want him.
He hadn’t called.
Which stung like a bitch.
I didn’t know what hurt the most. That he didn’t want to be with me or that he didn’t bother to talk like friends.
God, I was a fool.
Why had I even gone through with it?
I’d known that I would end up feeling this way, yet I’d allowed it to happen.
“Hello, Misty. You still there?” Tammy waved a hand in front of my face.
I blinked. “Yeah, I’m here.”
Tammy frowned. “You’ve been a thousand miles away. What’d you do? Meet a man and didn’t tell me about it? Did David end up calling you after all?”
“David called,” I said truthfully.
I didn’t want to talk about Liam. I had no idea why I hadn’t told Tammy about what happened between us.
Embarrassment. Shame.
Tammy wouldn’t have cared, but I just didn’t want to dredge up those confusing emotions.
“I didn’t pick up when David called,” I said. “The guy was a weirdo. It didn’t work out.”
Tammy shook her head. “What about Jonathan?”
“Oh, was that his name?” I drank from my margarita, enjoying the splash of cold in my belly, followed by a wave of heat in my cheeks. I shook my head. “In no way would that have ever happened.”
Tammy groaned. “Was it that bad?”
“He was so boring. How did you even meet him?”
“Friend from work. He seemed really nice,” she said defensively.
“Ugh.” I shook my head. “I think maybe I’m done with men for a while.”
Tammy nudged me with her elbow. “Thinking about switching lanes, are you?”
I laughed. “No. I mean maybe I’m done with dating and relationships for now.”
“You’ve barely started dating again after a long break. You need to loosen up. Get laid. Have fun.”
My face heated up. I turned away, hoping Tammy wouldn’t notice.
“Besides, you need to show Bryan that you’re over him,” my best friend continued. “Maybe you’ll meet Mr. Right and get married. That’ll show him.”
“I don’t want to show Bryan anything.”
“You’re over him already?”
Was I?
“I don’t know, but I don’t really care what he thinks of me or whether he knows I’m in a new relationship or not. I don’t want to date someone just to shove it in Bryan’s face.”
Tammy made a sound of approval. “You’re a stronger woman than me. I would make him suffer.”
I sighed. “Please don’t try to set me up with anyone for a while. I think I need a break.”
Tammy set her cup down on the railing. “Oh, come on. I have the perfect guy.”
“Tammy,” I warned. “Please don’t.”
“Come on. Just one more. You’ll really love him. His name is Mark, he’s the head of Ellington Marketing, and he’s great. Not boring like Jonathan, not creepy like David. I’m telling you, this guy is like the happy medium.”
I groaned, leaning my elbows on the railing. “I’m not ready to date seriously.”
Tammy clasped her hands together. “Please, Misty? Just one more date. He could be the one. I want you to meet this guy.”
“You say that about all of them.”
“Yeah, but what if this guy is the one and you lost your chance because you said no?”
I clenched my eyes shut.
“I just want you to be happy, Misty,” Tammy added. I glanced at her, and she gave a little pout.
“Ugh,” I groaned, throwing my head back. “Okay, fine. This is it though. No more. I’m done.”
Tammy jumped up and clapped her hands together. “Yes. Are you serious?” She didn’t wait for a response and instead did a little happy dance. “Great, that’s awesome. I’ll call Mark now.”
“Now?” I stared after Tammy’s retreating back as she ran back into the apartment. “Isn’t that a little fast? Does he already know about me?”
“I’ve told him all about you,” Tammy’s voice floated from the condo. “He’s interested and wants to meet you.”
She turned away and started talking into the phone. I only caught bits of the conversation. I turned my attention back to the view of the city.
Seeing Mark would be a nice break. After the night with Liam, I hadn’t gone out at all. It wasn’t that I was afraid to run into him in the hallways. I wasn’t avoiding him.
So what if I looked through the peephole a few times to make sure the hall was empty before I opened my door?
I did that before he’d moved in.
And when I did see him in front of his door, I waited until he was gone before I opened mine.
That was all understandable.
We’d already had the awkward small talk the morning after our one- night stand. No need to repeat it. He’d made it clear—he wanted no relationship between us at all.
I got it loud and clear.
Tammy bounded back onto the balcony. “Is Saturday night okay?” she whispered, covering the phone with one hand.
I searched blindly for an excuse. “Um,” I said.
Tammy took it as yes. She turned to her phone. “Seven o’clock. I’ll give you the address and phone number.”
I sighed as Tammy took off into the apartment again. I downed the rest of my drink in one gulp.
Chapter Ten
My hope that I would never have to see or talk to Liam again was dashed the next day when I practically ran into him in the lobby. My eyes were glued to the stack of mail I’d just retrieved from my box, and my mind was on the letter that looked like it had been addressed in Bryan’s handwriting.
Why was Bryan writing to me?
Why hadn’t he called, or emailed, or texted instead?
My heart started pounding as I stared at it. It could be a number of things—a wedding invitation to that busty chick he’d cheated on me with, a baby announcement, or even just a pissed-off letter telling me how terrible I was and what a horrible girlfriend I’d been.
He was the type of guy who would do that, out of spite. Just to remind me that he was in control, that he still had the power to hurt me.
I closed my eyes against the vicious burn behind them.
It killed me that he still had that power, that I had allowed someone like that to hurt me so inexplicably. That I was still allowing it.
I was so focused on the letter that I didn’t notice a large figure turning the corner of the hallway ahead of me. I walked straight into a hard, male chest. Papers and envelopes flew everywhere.
I swung my arm backward to keep my balance, an embarrassing sound escaping my lips. At the same time, Liam grabbed my waist, his arm snaking around me so he could press his palm flat on my back and keep me from falling.
The movement also brought us so close together that I could have kissed him if I tilted my head back a little.
&nb
sp; My breath came in harsh pants. I stared up at him.
Those sexy lips, the intense eyes. He needed a shave again.
God, how I wanted to run my hand along his stubble and feel the scratch of his hair against my palm. I imagined I could still feel the burn of his five o’clock shadow on my face from the last time we’d made out.
For a second, we stared at each other without speaking.
The way he held me so easily reminded me of how strong he was with his body barely containing the energy that threatened to burst from him.
All the memories from the other night rushed over me.
My skin prickled hotly. Blood rushed and settled in areas that made me squirm. My hand clenched and unclenched, wanting to grab something, to grab him. I couldn’t seem to find my words, my breath, or my mind.
And I knew Liam felt the same way.
His gaze fell to my lips immediately and his own parted. The tip of his tongue darted out and touched the corner of his mouth. He sucked in air through his teeth.
“Careful,” he said.
His breath was short. He exhaled, as if he was preparing to say something else.
But then he released me.
And the moment was suddenly over.
Damn!
I blinked in surprise.
It took me a moment to remember that we were in the lobby of my building, and I shouldn’t be thinking about or feeling things for Liam that I already promised both of us I wouldn’t feel.
I found my balance and smoothed my hand over my shirt. My eyes fell to the envelopes that had fallen on the floor, and I bent immediately to retrieve them.
“Sorry, I didn’t see you,” I said.
I gathered my mail to my chest.
“No problem.”
He reached the last envelope before I could. I stood, keeping my weight focused in the heel of my foot, fixing my gaze on his hand. His fingers were tanned, his nails trimmed short. I remembered those hands on me, touching me in all the right ways, stroking me the way I liked. My legs pressed together as I felt a familiar twinge deep in my gut.
“Thanks,” I said, taking the last envelope from him. I was careful not to let our fingers touch.
“It’s really nice seeing you,” Liam said in a forcefully casual voice.
I nodded. “Yeah.” I cleared my throat. “It’s been awhile.”
Not since last time, I stopped myself from saying. Because then we would be thinking about last time and it would be awkward. Because of course I wasn’t thinking about it already. Because of course I wasn’t constantly thinking about it all the damn time.
There was a long moment of silence. “Have you been seeing anyone else?” Liam asked.
I looked at him, my eyebrows raised. Was he jealous?
“No,” I found myself admitting.
I imagined that a relieved look passed over his expression, but it was probably just my hopeful heart giving an extra beat and causing my vision to blur.
“I have a date tonight,” I added cheerfully.
His jaw tightened. His chin lifted and dropped. “Good.”
Good?
What the hell?
My chest felt tight.
“It was nice seeing you, Liam,” I said, hugging my mail closer.
He didn’t move out of the way. Instead, he widened his stance, as if deliberately intimidating me with his larger size. “You too.”
I swallowed. I didn’t like the way he was looking at me. His eyes roaming my face, moving down the length of my body, lingering in areas that grew warm and tingly even though I tried to stay aloof and indifferent to his large presence.
I hated my reaction to him. The way my blood heated and the hair on the back of my neck seemed to stand up. The way my nerves electrified around him.
My skin was too warm, my heart beat loudly, and I couldn’t seem to catch my breath. I had the strangest urge to move closer, my lungs craving his sweet, alluring scent, my body wanting to feel his warmth around me.
“It’s funny,” he said.
His voice, so deep, sent a shiver down my spine.
I blinked a few times. “What is?”
He crossed his arms. “We’re neighbors, and yet we never see each other.”
I nodded. “That is funny.”
“It almost seems like you’re avoiding me.”
A chill passed through me and I tried not to shiver. I forced a laugh from my throat instead. It sounded painfully phony.
“No, of course not,” I said, grinning a bit too broadly. “Why would I avoid you?”
“Because of what happened the last time we saw each other.” He smiled down at me. “I thought we agreed it wasn’t going to be awkward.”
I paused. “It’s not.”
“Really?” He narrowed his gaze.
“Not awkward at all.” I shifted my weight. What did he want? “But I should get going. Since I have a hot date to get ready for.”
His face seemed to darken. “Right.” But he didn’t move out of that way. “Are you going to wear that dress I saw you in?”
I frowned at him in confusion. “Which dress?”
He leaned closer, his voice lowered. His breath whispered over my ear. “The dress you were wearing the night you gave me those delicious cookies.”
My breath hitched.
I could smell his aftershave and the sexy scent of his skin. He was standing so close. If I turned just a little, my lips would brush his.
“No, I’m not going to wear that dress,” I said in a small voice.
“Good.” He leaned even closer, his fingers reaching up to touch my elbow. He didn’t press hard, barely brushed my flesh, but my entire body seemed to burst into flames.
I felt hot all over.
I had the desperate urge to move closer, to melt my body against his, to beg him to take me up to his apartment.
“That dress is for my eyes only.”
My pussy clenched. At the same time, my stomach churned.
Was he flirting with me? After telling me that he only wanted to remain friends?
I gritted my teeth. “On second thought,” I said, stepping back from him and moving my elbow away from his touch. “Maybe I will wear it after all.”
I brushed past him, knowing that his eyes were glued on my ass as I walked away. I gave my hips a bit more sway, smiling to myself as I imagined his frustration.
Before I got far, I felt the vibrations of his footsteps behind me. “You’re not wearing that dress tonight,” he said in a strained voice.
I didn’t stop or turn around. “Why not? It looks good on me, don’t you think? I think Mark would like it.”
“Mark.” He snorted. “Who the fuck is that? Sounds like a loser.”
“You don’t know anything about him.”
He grabbed my arm, turning me so that I was forced to look up into his eyes. His face was taut with worry, his brows drawn together. His lips tight.
“Don’t care. Don’t have to. I already know the guy’s not good enough for you.”
His thumb caressed my flesh in a movement so small that it was barely noticeable.
“No one is,” he said in a husky voice.
I tried not to admit to myself or to him how much his words were affecting me. “Including you?”
He didn’t answer.
I jerked my arm out of his grasp. “Go away, Liam. I have to get ready for my date.” I started to turn, but what he said next made me stop.
“I’m sorry, Misty.”
There was so much anguish in his voice, so much pain that I couldn’t have possibly walked away. At least not without feeling like a complete jerk. I waited, not meeting his eyes. Hoping he would tell me what I really wanted to hear, that he wanted to make it work between us. That he wanted more than just a one-night stand.
He didn’t give me what I wanted. Just disappointment followed by an explanation that I already knew and didn’t need to be tortured with again.
“I know you want a real relationshi
p,” he said. “But I’m just not the type.”
A lump rose in my throat. An itchy, burning sensation in my throat and the back of my eyes. Aware that he wanted an answer, I nodded, unable to form any words.
I was a fool to think he could give me what I wanted.
He couldn’t.
He just wasn’t capable of it.
Just like Bryan, he was emotionally unavailable. Why did I keep falling for these men, thinking that I could change them, thinking that I could finally capture their hearts, against everything my instincts told me?
I should have learned my lesson the first time around.
I should have known better.
Liam had seemed so different. So much more open, kind, and smart. I had been wishing too hard, and it had blinded me to the reality. The fact that he was just like the rest of them. I needed to find someone who deserved me.
“I just,” Liam continued, “I just don’t want to hurt you. I didn’t want to hurt you,” he added hastily. “I didn’t mean to sleep with you, and I know that that only made it worse. I didn’t want to give you the wrong impression.”
“You didn’t,” I said quickly, finally able to breathe through the knot in my throat. “You never gave me any reason to think you were in it for the long haul. Trust me. I knew what I was getting myself into.”
I blinked rapidly, trying to avert my gaze so that he wouldn’t see. But he touched my cheek softly. I wished he was the yelling type. At least with Bryan, I had been able to yell back, to scream my frustration and anger. Liam’s gentleness only made me want to curl up into a ball and bawl my eyes out.
“Did you?” he asked.
I pressed my lips together. “Yes.”
He tilted his head to the side. “I have a feeling that you really didn’t.”
I laughed humorlessly. A tear slipped down my cheek. I brushed his hand away and wiped at my face in irritation.
“Trust me, I knew. But maybe I deceived myself into thinking you wanted more, even though the truth was screaming at me the entire time.”
He didn’t push me, but took a step back as I wiped my tears away with a tissue from my purse, careful not to smudge my mascara.
My phone rang.
