“Zam, I have to strip you down. Do you understand?” Maks pulled at my clothing, yanking the mostly frozen material from me. It pulled on my skin in places, already sticking to me. I bobbed my head and tried to help him but my hands were a fumbling mess. He pushed them away.
“Just let me.” Maks had my clothes off quicker than I’d have been able to. “Lila, get more wood from the back of the cave. We need to warm her up quickly.”
“On it.”
And I stood there—barely—unable to do more than shake with nothing left to me but my necklace which felt like a veritable ice block against my skin. Maks stripped off his wet shirt and pants and I just stared. Damn it, he was nicely put together. I might have said it out loud, I’m not sure.
“Come here, we need our body heat to fight off the cold, to get some warmth back into you.” He took my hand and helped me to lie down on a blanket as close to the fire as it could get.
He all but pushed me to the floor and the warmth of the fire was nice, but it got better. Maks tucked in behind me, his body like a fire of its own, like the desert sands in midsummer. I closed my eyes as the heat began to bring feeling back to my body. The hurt of the ice leaving me made me grit my teeth but I knew it would fade. Lila came back with wood and dropped it on the fire, then she came around to curl up on top of my hip, perched there, watching me.
“Is she going to be okay?” she whispered. I tried to smile for her but my face hurt.
“She just needs to get warm.” Maks’s arms were around me and I didn’t fight it. He was better than me, not caring that I was a supe and helping me anyway.
My shivering slowed and the heat began to work magic on me, drawing a heavy sigh from me.
“Zam, I need you to talk to me,” Maks said. “Are you sure Merlin pushed you in?”
I drew a breath which pushed my back against him. I wanted nothing more than to close my eyes and sleep while I could, but Maks was right. We needed to talk about what happened out there.
“Someone pushed me,” I said. “When I looked up through the ice I saw Merlin and the shadow that the Ice Witch set to watch me.” I blinked a few times. “I’d been wondering if there was a way to lose the shadow. Then we’d be able to slip past the next two guardians easier.”
I turned so I could look at Maks. “Why did you say it was your fault?”
“Merlin doesn’t like me,” he said. “He doesn’t want me to escape. He thinks I should stay on this side of the wall.”
I frowned. “What would it matter to him that you escape?” You’re human, aren’t you? I almost said. But something held me back. It was ridiculous. Of course, he was human. He smelled as human as he could. Merlin was just playing games with my head.
Maks shook his head and my breath caught. “Look, he thinks you’re helping me, which means he won’t want to help you.”
It was my turn to shake my head. “That makes no sense. Why would he have healed your leg then? Why would he have given us a place to stay in that first snowstorm?” Which made me wonder if Merlin really had pushed me in after all? But if he hadn’t, he’d seen me go under and just watched me go.
Lila cleared her voice. “I think he did push you in.”
I turned my head toward her. “You do?”
“The shadow that’s been following you makes it hard for us to escape notice. Merlin said he wanted to help you find Darcy—amongst other things—so what if this was a way to help us? A shadow wouldn’t follow someone they thought was dead, would they?”
I found myself nodding, albeit with some reluctance. “I was thinking along the same lines when I was pushed. That if I could somehow make the shadow think I was dead, it would leave me alone and we’d be free of its eyes.”
“Then Merlin must think highly of you. To try to kill you, and assume you wouldn’t die.” Maks’s words had more than a heavy dose of biting sarcasm in them. He pulled his arm off me and I grabbed it.
“Look, don’t take this the wrong way, but you aren’t going anywhere. I’m still cold.” Little bit of a lie there, but we would both be warmer if we stayed together. In the most platonic of ways, of course.
He slid his arm around my middle and we lay there while the fire crackled. Sleep crawled over us, lulled by the soft sounds of the horses, the fire, and each other’s breathing.
A few hours went by and I woke with my back to the fire, one arm around Maks’s middle and the other pinned between us. I blinked a few times to clear the sleep from my eyes. Maks was still sound asleep. My belly rumbled and demanded I pay attention. The fire needed tending and I needed food. I moved to shift Maks’s arm off me.
He mumbled in his sleep, tightening his hold, his fingers splayed over my lower back, pressing me to him. “No, Zam is mine.”
My eyebrows shot up and I tried again to slide out of his embrace. Not that I wanted to, not really, he was warm and smelled good. Amongst other things. He pulled me against his chest and buried his face into my loose curls, breathing in deeply before he relaxed again, but didn’t loosen his hold on me. I could have woken him, but wasn’t sure I could handle staring him in the face while we were both pretty much naked and he’d just made a strong declaration in his sleep.
There was only one thing to do. I walked through the doorway between two legs and four and let the shift take me. As a house cat, I slipped out from under the blankets and went to where my clothes were just barely dried. Grimacing, I shifted back to my human form and put the still-damp, cold clothes on.
I knew they would warm and dry on me faster and we needed that. Speed. Because now there was no one watching our movements and we had a very short window of time to take advantage of it.
I moved quickly, getting the fire going, setting the second rabbit over it and then tending to the horses. I took my second collapsible bucket and filled it with snow and set it by the flames. While it was a slower way to collect water, at least I would survive if someone pushed me head-first into it.
Lila woke first, stretched her wings and tail straight out while cracking a yawn. “Are we going?”
“Soon, I think.” I tipped my head, listening to the wind outside the cave. The cold wasn’t as bad as the night before. I wondered if it was because the Ice Witch thought I was dead. Was it possible? Regardless, it was time to get going. Again, the choice would be unexpected if there was anyone watching for us still. No one in their right mind started out in a snowstorm.
I went to Maks and tapped him on the back of his leg with the tip of my boot. Because . . . space between us was going to be essential. Likely his whole “Zam is mine” had been a weird dream, but he was going to leave when we got Darcy back. And I’d lost enough people I loved to not willingly add another to the list. Not that I loved him, but I knew how my heart worked. I fell hard and fast when things felt right, and then I would be in trouble.
“I’m awake.” Maks sat up as he scrubbed a hand through his dirty blond hair. The blanket fell into a puddle in his lap. I turned away to keep from staring at his chiseled chest and abs. I grabbed his clothes by the fire and tossed them back to him.
“Get dressed. We’ll eat and ride out as soon as the horses have had a drink and something to eat too.”
He nodded and didn’t fight me on my plan. Resigned, that was how the energy off him felt to me, though it took me a bit to pin the emotion down. Like he couldn’t escape. But I would help him do that too.
I ignored the twang around my heart. Yeah, it was time for Maks to go before I fell too much deeper into those baby blues.
Apparently, Maks hadn’t eaten the night before. Or maybe he’d been avoiding eating rabbit after his first experience. We ate quickly and he managed to keep the rabbit down. Then again, this time wasn’t partially raw like the first go-around.
Lila was still full of the innards she’d gotten the night before and shook her head when I offered her a rabbit leg.
“I’ll explode if I eat any more,” she said. “And nobody wants that.”
Maks snor
ted. “Acid everywhere?”
“Something along those lines.” She flashed him a grin that had a devilish edge to it. “Also, you talk in your sleep, Maks.”
I froze in midmotion of putting Balder’s saddle on and dared a look at Maks. Who also looked frozen and more than a little horrified.
“What did I say?” The words seemed to be strangled out of him.
Lila preened, running her tiny claws over her wings, massaging them. “You reeeally want to know?”
“Yes.” That was not strangled; that was a hard word from him, about as definitive as I’d ever heard him.
Lila sighed. “It was really sweet, if you think about it. Don’t you think, Zam?”
“Didn’t hear a thing,” I said as I cinched the saddle on. I had to stop this, we didn’t need any more embarrassment, but Lila seemed bent on it. “We need to move, you two.”
Maks was up, his clothing, boots and weapons all on in a flash. “Agreed.”
She swept around in front of us, her eyes darting from me to Maks and back again. “Come on. Don’t either of you want to know?”
“No,” we said in unison.
She pouted. “Damn it. Please?”
I just shook my head. “Not the time for this, Lila.”
Her pout went deeper but she kept her mouth shut. Thank the sand gods for that much.
When we stepped out of the cave, the night still held tightly to the sky, but it had cleared enough that there was light from the moon as the clouds moved about.
“We go hard to get through the White Bear’s territory. The White Raven holds sway the closest to the castle,” I said as we rode out. The horses’ breath came out in big billowing streams as though they were filled with fire.
“Then?” Maks asked.
“We leave the horses behind and go in on foot. The Raven will be watching from above; we’ll be able to avoid her easier that way.”
“Her?” Lila curled herself around my neck. “Are you sure the White Raven is a girl?”
“From what I know.” I shrugged. “Doesn’t really matter. We know less about her than we do about the White Bear.”
“Unless she has eggs,” Maks said. “Eggs would make her meaner, like the dragons.”
Lila bobbed her head. “Oh, I never thought of that.”
Goddess of the desert, please let there be no eggs involved.
We rode through the remainder of the night with nothing more than the cold to keep us company.
More than once, Maks twisted in his saddle to watch our trail. “Wait here,” he finally said, “I think something is stalking us.”
He spun Batman around and urged him back the way we’d come. Which was stupid because if anyone would have noticed us being followed, it would be me, the one with the extra sensory abilities. Then again, I was focused on how we were going to slip into the castle and get Darcy out. I didn’t know the schematics of the castle—Steve had those.
We’d never found Kiara’s horse, but that would still be our best bet. Dead, we’d be able to track the scent if I could find the original kill site. But that would mean back tracking into the Wolf’s territory and I could feel time ticking by faster with each moment. I reached up to touch my ring, my talisman.
The only thing that kept my curse from coming into full effect.
It was gone.
I opened my mouth to tell Lila we had to go back, we had to search for the lion’s head ring. Without it, we were opening ourselves to a disaster of proportions we’d not yet seen. We’d all die. Horribly. In the worst way possible.
I spun in my saddle to see Batman and Maks racing toward us. All the sound I’d blocked out in my hyper-focused panicked state came roaring back in a flood. The bellow of the massive White Bear as it galloped toward us, the thunder of Batman’s hooves, Maks shouting at me to run.
I booted Balder in the sides and he leapt forward so hard, my hood swept back. My hair streamed out behind me, and for just a moment, I thought about using the flail on the Bear like I’d used it on the Wolf. Except it would probably kill me this time. And Balder didn’t seem at all interested in facing the big carnivore coming hard at us.
This was bad. The curse seemed to curl around me, the power of it driving spikes of heat through my skin and Marsum’s laughter spilled around me. Like he knew I’d finally succumb to his curse.
“What do we do?” Lila screeched the question as she clung to my shoulder. I wasn’t entirely sure myself.
“We’ll outrun him!” I yelled, though I didn’t think we’d have a chance. A thump snapped my head around in time to see the Bear ripping a tree out by the roots and throwing it. At us.
“Oh, fuck,” I whispered. “Right, go right!”
Maks and Batman peeled to the right, as I pressed Balder to the left. The tree slammed down where we’d been only a moment before, just missing us.
The snow sprayed up around it, sending a shower of ice chunks, rock, splinters, and earth into the air.
“Trespassers!” the White Bear roared and was once more right behind us. Balder scooted forward, tucking his ass under himself to keep from the swipe of the monstrous paw that cut through the air.
“So much for slipping by,” Lila screamed.
I couldn’t argue with that. “Fuck off, Bear!” I yelled over my shoulder. The curse tightened, like a noose. I wanted to live; the curse would bring me to my death.
“You killed the Wolf!” he roared back.
“He deserved it! He was an asshole with bad breath!”
Maybe that wasn’t the best thing to say, but it was the truth. And if I was going to die, I was going to go down swinging.
I twisted around in the saddle. The White Bear was, of course, right on us; every etched scar in his face down to the broken and sheared canines were clearly visible. Behind him, though . . . Maks and Batman were coming up fast. Maks had the shotgun up.
The one with the grenade launcher.
There was a thump in the air and then the projectile shot straight toward the Bear’s back. It went off, the explosion mimicking the tree being thrown at us, only it was flesh and bone instead of tree trunk and stones splattering against us.
“How come I don’t think that will save us?” Lila asked as we slowed and turned to face where the Bear lay in the snow. His yellowed coat seemed sickly against the white of the snow. He lifted his head, black eyes finding me.
“My queen will have you yet, cat. There is no escaping me,” he snarled. I blinked. He didn’t want to kill us, he wanted to capture us.
And an idea formed that I knew was quite possibly my worst yet. An idea that almost felt like it wasn’t my own.
Hesitation killed.
Which meant I had nothing to do but put it into play.
If I was cursed and the curse worked against what I wanted . . . then maybe I had to change what I wanted.
Chapter Seventeen
I was gambling our lives on an idea that had bloomed in mid-panic, in a near-death situation where probably it would have been better to think this through. The curse on me was nearly twenty years old and I’d never considered trying to use it to my advantage before. I hadn’t had to because I’d always worn the ring Ish had given me, the ring that kept the curse at bay. But now I could feel it wrapping around me, the heat of the desert within it as it sunk into my skin ready to fuck up my life and kill me for good. Depending on what I wanted to do. So, I would just have to change what I wanted. At least . . . that was the theory in my head.
“Yeah, you think so, do you? You think you can catch me, you big fatty pants? You look like you stole your dad’s fur costume and put it on, slopping around in it. All saggy in the ass.” I slid off Balder’s back and turned him away, slapping him on the rump. He ran around to Maks and Batman, snorting and tossing his mane.
Maks held the shotgun up, aiming at the Bear, and I held up both hands to stop him as I shook my head.
Goddess, this was stupid. I knew it was, which only made me surer that it was what I n
eeded to do. If I was set to fail everything as Marsum had cursed me, then I would set myself not to survive this encounter. I would go in, believing, wanting to die. “I want to die,” I whispered. The curse tightened on me, nearly strangling me as it constricted my entire body. I fought to breathe through it and then it began to ease.
Calm fell over me in a way I didn’t know possible. I was going to die, but my friends would live. I pulled the flail from my back and began to swing it. If I was going down, there was nothing to fear in the power of the weapon. “Come for me then, if you are going to kill me. Let’s get on with it.”
The Bear roared, spittle flying from his flapping lips, spraying the snow in front of him with flecks of blood and snot. He launched toward me, the ground rumbling and shaking my legs as he thundered my way. I held my ground to the last second, breathing through the adrenaline. It was almost like I wasn’t in control of my body, which was dumb, but that’s how it felt. The curse seemed to slide into my limbs.
I wanted to die.
Something seemed to twist me out of his way and I snapped the flail toward his head with everything I had. The spiked metal balls slammed into his skull with a crack that sent a reverberation all the way down my arm, through my shoulder and back.
The curse had done that. Not me.
The Bear went down onto his front knees which put him at Balder’s height. “Cat, I’ll kill you now. My mistress will thank me.”
“That’s the plan, right?” I yanked the handle, freeing the spikes from his skull. He roared and swiped at me with a paw. The weapon heated against my skin, not unlike the curse curling over my body. Time, I had time yet before it sucked my life away.
I leapt up and forward, landing on his back. I swung the flail fast and hard, driving it down into . . . well, I was going to say the wound that Maks had made with the grenade, only there was no wound. It had healed already.
Underneath me, the white fur shimmered and rippled and the space I stood on shrunk to the point that there was nothing to stand on. I dodged sideways, rolling in the snow, coming up with the flail spinning fast again.
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