That was when she smelled it. Alcohol. She backed away and asked, “Where were you last night?”
“Out.”
“Out? I was worried to death and you were out and drinking?” She itched to slap him across the face. Hard.
Chapter 24
Stan saw the hurt, pain and anger in Agnieska’s eyes and felt like a piece of shit. Again, he’d been so caught up in his own suffering, consumed by self-pity, that he’d not even given a thought to the anguish she must feel when he’d stepped foot inside the bar the night before.
What kind of man drank himself unconscious while the woman he loved was at home fearing for the worst? Her sea-green eyes had turned into a dark ocean agitated by a violent storm, the anger rolling off of her in waves. If she’d known he was out drinking instead of being detained in a prison or worse, she wouldn’t have come looking for him.
And she wouldn’t have run into the mob trying to lynch her. The bruise forming on her cheekbone made him all too aware that it was solely his fault. Because of him she’d been attacked, beaten up and hurt.
“Agnieska, I’m sorry,” he said after looking at her for a long time. “I’m so sorry.”
She pinned him with her angry stare. “You are sorry? I was worried to death that those bastards would send you to Siberia or worse! How dare you hurl your trite apologies! How about you grow up and think about anyone else besides yourself!”
Tears of fury coursed down her cheeks, but Stan knew better than to try and comfort her right now. She spun around, taking up the walk back to the farm. Agnieska refused to talk to him for the remainder of the day and even went to sleep without wishing him goodnight. He knew he needed to apologize in a big way. Just how?
The next morning he woke extra early and caught a ride into town where he visited a few old friends and contracted with them to finish the roof. Then he made the trip to Malgorzata’s house seeking advice.
“Hello?” he said, standing in the open doorway.
“I’m so glad they let you go,” Tadzio said with a broad smile. Obviously, in a small place like this news travelled fast.
“Yes, they let me go.”
“I hate the communists! Why don’t we fight against them like we fought against the Nazis?”
Yes, why? Because people were tired after six years of oppression and war? Because many of the able-bodied men had been killed, maimed or were plain and simply too wrung out to take to the weapons and fight off another enemy?
“I’m not sure,” Stan answered. “I was hoping I could speak to your mother for a few minutes.”
“I’ll get her for you. I was just getting ready to head over to your house. You have to see all the work I did yesterday!” Tadzio beamed with pride, pulling at Stan’s heartstrings. The poor boy hadn’t seen his father and older brothers in years, and nobody knew their fate. For the first time it occurred to him that Tadzio saw a father figure in Stan, and that thought scared the hell out of him.
He was barely able to keep up appearances and hold his own life together, how could he serve as a role model to a thirteen-year-old fatherless boy?
Malgorzata wiped her hands on her apron as she entered the small hallway. “Stanislaw, come in. You gave us quite a fright!”
His ears burnt with shame. Two more persons had been worried about him, all because of his reckless behavior. “I’m sorry. I guess I should have kept my mouth shut when those thugs came to ask about my papers.”
Malgorzata gave him a long once-over and then said, “Would you like some coffee?”
“Yes, please.” He followed her into the kitchen, thinking about how to best broach the topic that weighed heavily on his heart. Nothing better than biting the bullet, he decided and said, “I came looking for advice.”
She poured him a cup of coffee and smiled. “About Agnieska?”
“H... how did you know?” he stammered.
“Let’s just say life experience.”
“She’s still livid, because I drank myself into a stupor last night instead of coming home…”
“…and you feel guilty, for making her worry.” She finished his sentence.
“That, and… she was brutally beaten up when she came looking for me…” He stopped.
“I heard of an incident, but didn’t know the identity of the poor woman,” Malgorzata said, putting a hand to her chest. “Will this never end?”
“Friends of mine are with the police and we luckily came along to prevent…” He couldn’t even consider what might have happened. “Anyhow, my friends said the only way to keep her safe around here was for her to marry a good Catholic man.“
“So, what are you waiting for?”
“What? Me?”
“Don’t fancy her?”
He sighed. “I do. But… I’m not sure she’ll ever forgive me for getting her into that situation.”
“Stanislaw, that woman adores you and I can understand why she’s livid right now. Seeing you hauled away by those men must have scared her to death. You have heard what happens to those who oppose the communists, haven’t you? When you didn’t return she assumed they’d already handed you over to the NKVD.”
“I… I told her I’m sorry.”
“A simple sorry, won’t cut it. You’ll have to assure her that you are able to rein in your temper.”
“It’s just… I was so angry at the way they treated me.” He stubbornly pushed out his lower lip, even though he knew his temper was at the root of the awful situation with Agnieska.
And everything else.
“Hear me out, young man,” Malgorzata said with a stern voice, transporting him back to his adolescent years when he’d stand cowed in front of his mother as she scolded him for stirring up yet another brawl. “It’s time for you to grow up and get a hold of that nasty temper of yours.”
“But—“
“Don’t interrupt me, young man. Did you know that half of Lodz used to be afraid of you because of your nasty temper? Especially the girls.”
Stan shook his head. He’d known that most of the girls gave him a wide berth or avoided him all together, but he’d assumed it was because they’d rather spend time with his twin. Did… was… he realized it would kill him to find out that Agnieska feared him. He never meant to make her feel uncomfortable; he just had such a damn difficult time keeping his rage under control.
Malgorzata continued her lecture, but he couldn’t hear her words, overcome with a desire to return to the house and beg Agnieska for forgiveness.
When he got there she wasn’t in the garden and she wasn’t in the kitchen.
“Agnieska?” he yelled into the eerily empty house, but no answer came. Then he heard steps coming down the stairs and she stood in front of him, fully dressed with coat, kerchief and a sling bag across her shoulder. “What are you doing?”
She looked into his eyes, her expression a mask of pain. “I can’t stay here. Not after what happened yesterday.” The graveness in her voice gave him the impression her decision to leave was about much more than his letting her down.
“Please… why do you leave?”
“It’s not safe here for me.”
Now he got the idea. “I will protect you from anyone trying to hurt you. I promise,” he said hoarsely.
“You? Remember that I went to the town hall because I was worried about you?”
Shame flushed his face and made his ears burn. “I’m sorry. I really am. It will never happen again.”
“You’re right. It won’t. Because I’m leaving.” She stubbornly pushed out her lower lip but he’d perceived the slight tremble in her voice, nonetheless. Maybe he still had a chance to dissuade her.
“Agnieska… where will you go? If you have a safe place to go, I’ll take you there.”
She visibly choked at his words. “I… I just want to get away from those people,” she finally whispered.
“Please. Don’t endanger yourself. Stay with me for a while longer. Only until you’ve found a safe place to live.”
He could see her wavering and pressed on, “The farm is far enough away from town, so nobody will harm you here.”
“It’s not just about them, it’s about us, too,” she said, her voice thick with hurt.
“Swee… Agnieska, please. I’m so sorry. My behavior was awful. Inconsiderate. I never wasted a thought about how much you must have been worried about me.” He stopped and scratched his beard, carefully forming the next sentences in his head. “I guess… I was on my own for so long that it didn’t even occur to me someone could be worried about me.”
“But I was… so much.” Her rigid body melted just a tiny bit, encouraging him to approach her.
“We can make this work. Please stay. I promise,” he said and her body melted some more. “I’ll protect you.” He reached out and put a hand on her shoulder, but she shrank back, knocking it off. Hurt – and fear – stabbed at his heart. Was Tadzio’s mother right and the woman he loved feared him?
“Agnieska, are you afraid of me?” Stan asked full of worry.
She looked at him in confusion. “Of course not. Why would you think that?”
“I went to see Malgorzata. She told me all of the girls were afraid of me…”
“…when you were much younger.” Agnieska smiled, making his groin itch to possess her again.
“Were you?” he asked, searching her eyes for the truth.
“Honestly, I was. A little bit. Perhaps a lot. Actually I was terrified of you.”
“Are you still afraid of me?” He swallowed hard, his arousal falling apart.
“Do I look afraid?” she laughed, her eyes blinking with mischief. To be honest, she didn’t, which was a great relief, but he had to hear it in her own words.
“Please tell me you’re not afraid of me. I couldn’t stand causing you such anguish.” Stan wanted to put that stubborn strand of chestnut hair behind her ear, but didn’t dare to touch her.
She squinted her eyes at him, but acquiesced. “I stopped being afraid of you many years ago. We’ve both grown up since.”
“So why did you shrink back when I put my hand on your shoulder?” he asked.
Chapter 25
“Because…” Agnieska stared into his bright blue eyes, thinking that she could continue to do so all day long. She longed to have him sweep her into his arms and kiss her worries away, but there were too many things still hanging between them.
“Because?”
“I don’t want a protector. I want my freedom. My independence. I want a life without being pushed around by others who have power over me. I have lived under the Nazi boot for so long, I’m sick and tired of others telling me what to do.” Agnieska unloaded her entire soul onto Stan.
He smiled, only infuriating her more. What did this insupportable man think?
“Agnieska. Sweetheart. I need you as much as you need me,” he said with a pleading tone in his voice, carefully approaching her again and taking her hand in his.
She looked down at her tiny hand covered by his big one. A warm feeling flooded her body. And that indecent tingling again. But she wouldn’t give in that easily. Not her.
“I don’t—“ she said through clenched teeth, but he put a finger on her lips to silence her. A rough, calloused finger that scratched her delicate skin and for a moment she was tempted to suck that finger into her mouth. But this was too important to be sidetracked by the sensations his touch always caused in her body.
“Please hear me out,” he said. “I know you’re perfectly capable of living on your own. You are the strongest, most determined, most resilient woman I’ve ever met. And I wouldn’t want you any other way. You’re the first woman ever to stand up to me and put me in my place when my temper has overwhelmed me. Therefore, I need you. I want to be a better man. For you.”
Tears sprang to her eyes and she couldn’t respond.
“I love you,” he said, putting a soft kiss on her lips. Delirious joy rushed through her veins and she thought she’d faint in his arms.
“You love me?” she whispered when he finally released her mouth to come up for air.
“Yes. I was too busy wallowing in self-pity to notice it right away, but I’ve loved you from the moment I saw you, lost and sad, on my porch.”
She swallowed, unsure what he expected her to say. Or what she wanted to say. She was sure she loved him, too, but there was something inside her that held her back.
“I may not be everything you deserve, because I’m just a simple farmer who got his life education by fighting with the partisans. But I promise I will take care of you and cherish you every day of my life.”
It didn’t take more than that and the most resilient woman he knew crumpled into his arms, begging him to kiss her again. And again. And again.
“I love you, too,” she said much later, when they lay beside each other in her bed, recovering from the sweetest lovemaking ever.
Her glance fell on the sheet, where he hid his amputated leg beneath the thin cloth. She worried her lip, wondering how she could convince him to trust her enough to show her his stump. It just felt so awkward that he was hiding this part of him from her, when they were lying naked beside each other. But every time she’d teased her hand down that side, he’d pushed it away.
“What has you so worried, my sweet woman?” He breathed into her ear, his forefinger straightening the wrinkle on her forehead she knew she was making with her frown.
“Let me see your stump.”
He stiffened as if she’d punched him in the stomach. “Agnieska, I’d rather not.”
“Why not?”
Stan sighed. “Because… it’s not a nice sight… and…”
“Are you afraid I’ll run away screaming and never return?” She’d said it as a lighthearted joke but from the shocked expression on his face she knew instantly she’d hit the nail on the head. She wrapped her arm around his waist to keep him from bolting off the bed. “I won’t. But it’s a part of you and I want to see it.” Her hand moved down his back and cupped his wonderful ass, but she wasn’t interested in his manly parts at the moment.
With determined fingers she continued her downward path, but he put his hand over hers and guided it to his front, apparently hoping to distract her. Which worked beautifully when he pressed her hand onto his glorious manhood. It sprang to life under her fingers and once again she marveled at the sheer size of him.
“You’re so soft and hard at the same time,” she said, stroking up and down his entire length the way he liked it. Stan groaned in delight and his erection grew with every stroke, pushing deeper into her hand, demanding to be caressed. Insecurity made her pull the hand away, but he arched his hips against her palm, and her fingers curled around his length of their own accord.
“Oh, woman. That’s so good,” he growled and pressed a kiss at the top of her head.
Agnieska finally found the courage to glance down at her hand and her gaze caught his prosthetic, the original focus of her earlier request. She released him and before he could stop her, she knelt on the mattress and reached for the straps that secured the wooden leg.
“Agnieska…”
“Let me see, please. It’s part of you.” When he didn’t say a word, she added, “Don’t you trust me?”
“Of course I trust you, it’s just…”
“Please.”
With another deep sigh, he said, “Alright. Have a look. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.” He chuckled, but she could see right through him and tell he was horrified. Probably as horrified as she’d been when he’d first put his member inside her.
She carefully unbuckled the wooden leg and set it aside, before she removed the tight sock-like garment around his leg. He’d told her the truth when he said it wasn’t a pretty sight. The skin was red, puckered and scarred and she had to bite back a gasp. She lightly ran a hand across the delicate skin and looked up when he drew a sharp breath. “Does it hurt?”
“No, but it’s sensitive.” Her brave and courageous man lay there hiding that
he was trembling with fear. Fear that she might love him less because he owned an ugly stump instead of a healthy leg.
Agnieska gave him a reassuring smile and promised, “I’ll be extra careful.” She dipped her head, kissing her way around the stump, lingering for a moment on the skin of his thigh. She could smell his musk and laid her cheek on his thigh, his turgid member staring her in the face.
In the camps she’d heard many vulgar jokes about giving head, but had always considered the practice to be disgusting. But now, looking at the pale skin, stretched around his enormous girth, curiosity got the better of her and getting a taste of him consumed her thoughts.
Without overthinking the issue, she kissed her way up his thigh, placing a kiss right on the weeping slit before sliding her lips over his erected member.
He groaned and gripped her hair. “Agnieska what are you doing?”
“I’m sorry, I wanted to feel you in my mouth,” she whispered, afraid he’d hate her rudimentary efforts.
“Don’t be sorry. It feels incredibly good. Please don’t stop. Lick, kiss and suck me as much as you want.”
She licked up and down his length, circling the tip with her tongue. He seemed to enjoy it, but she had no idea what to do next. Gathering her courage, she crawled up to look into his eyes, “I’m not sure I know how to do this…”
“You don’t have to do this.” Stan said, raw desire burning in his darkened eyes.
“I want to. Will you tell me what to do?”
“With the greatest pleasure, sweetheart. Take me into your mouth and suck.”
She ventured down again, her cheeks heated with excitement. Her lips opened to take him into her mouth and she carefully licked a droplet from the tip, before she closed down on him, taking as much of his length into her mouth as she possibly could. While her hands pressed and squeezed, her lips moved up and down his length, sucking, licking and teasing.
Hearing him groaning and issuing instructions that she eagerly followed, had a strange effect on her. And just the knowledge that her actions drove him out of his mind provided a powerful aphrodisiac, sending desire into every one of her nerve endings.
Only Love Heals A Heart: Steamy Historical Romance Page 12
