She gives me the I know you’re lying, but I’ll listen to you anyway look. “Okay. You might want to go return your bowling shoes before we leave. I don’t want you to go all klepto on me.”
I slip them off my feet and start to walk inside, but she grabs them from my hands. “I’ll grab your shoes. Be back in a sec.”
She goes back inside, leaving me alone with Cole again.
“So, everything’s not okay. If you’re leaving so soon,” he says.
I bite my lip.
“If you ever want to talk, let me know.”
I turn to look at him and he looks so … concerned. He takes a step closer and reaches for my hand. It takes all I have in me not to pull away.
“I’m fine.”
“You don’t look fine. I know for a fact you were crying out here earlier.”
Curse my blotchy face. “It’s not a big deal.”
“It obviously is.”
“Why won’t you let this go?”
“Maybe I want to help.”
My temper picks up again and I pull my hand away from him. “Maybe you should learn to mind your own business.”
He takes a step closer, a frown on his face. “Maybe you should learn how to be nice to people who care about you.”
“The only person who cares about me is Kelsie.”
“Maybe because you’re rude to everyone else who tries to care.”
“I am not.”
“Prove it then.”
I fold my arms and back away from him. “Just … leave me alone.”
He stares at me for a second, his eyes so serious, and opens his mouth to say something else when Kelsie walks back outside.
“You ready?” She hands me my shoes.
I nod and slip them on. I feel Cole’s eyes on me as I shrug off his jacket and hand it back to him. “Thanks. For … inviting us tonight. Sorry you wasted your money on me.” I meet his hazel eyes for a second and look away.
“Money well spent.”
I look up and meet his gaze once more. His stare is kind of intense and I have to tell myself to keep breathing. I’m still mad at him. Mad at how he makes me feel. Confused.
“We’ll have to do this again,” Kelsie says.
He breaks eye contact and smiles at her. “For sure. And maybe you won’t even have to drag her here next time.”
She puts an arm around my shoulders. “I hope not.”
“We’ll see you two later then.” He rocks back on his heels and shoves his hands in his pockets.
“You, too.” Kelsie turns me around and walks me to the car.
“Bye, Emmy.”
“Bye.”
My stomach does a flip and I link my arm through Kelsie’s.
“You’re blushing,” she says.
I crack a smile. “Shut up.”
CHAPTER 11
The ride home is quiet. I lean my head against Kelsie’s window, thinking about my conversation with Cole, then thinking about Mom’s phone call. She called me, right? I pull out my phone and make sure. Yes. She called me. Her symptoms can’t be bad already, can they? I swear Dad said she was on medication that would help her.
I should ask him. I should talk to her. Ask questions.
But I can’t. Not yet. People her age don’t get Alzheimer’s disease. It’s for old people. Not for mothers with teenage daughters. It has to be a mistake.
A huge mistake.
“Hey,” Kelsie says, making me jump. “You kind of disappeared tonight.”
“I know. I’m sorry. Thanks for taking me home early.” I grimace. “Sorry about that, too.”
She’s quiet for a moment. When she speaks again, she’s careful. Hesitant. Like she could shatter me into pieces with her words. “You know I’m here for you, right?”
Tears prick my eyes as I stare out into the dark. “Yes.”
“You want to tell me what’s going on?”
I take a deep breath. Kelsie won’t tell anyone. I trust her more than anyone in this whole world. So … I tell her. Everything. “It’s my mom.” She waits, doesn’t rush me, just keeps driving. “She was diagnosed with early Alzheimer’s six months ago. My parents just barely told me.”
Her mouth drops open just enough for me to notice. “Oh, honey, I’m sorry.”
I don’t talk. I can’t. Just stare out the window into the dark. The houses become blurs as my eyes well with tears and I blink really fast to make them go away. I’m not going to cry again. I already made a mess of myself earlier. So much so that Cole even noticed.
I’m such a baby.
“Is there anything I can do?”
“No. I mean, I’m fine. And for all I know, she’s fine. Dad says she’s … I don’t know. She’s okay. She has a few memory lapses sometimes that make things interesting.” I take a slow breath. “I can’t …”
I shake my head and stop talking, emotion overwhelming me. She’s okay. I have to keep telling myself that. Maybe she won’t get any worse. And maybe if I don’t pay too much attention, I won’t notice if she does get worse. I’ll remember the good times. The normal times.
The times when we’d stay up all night talking about Lucas or when she’d check me out of school to go get a pedicure when she knew I was feeling down. She always knew how to cheer me up. Always knew exactly what to say. I don’t know if she’ll be like that in a few months or even a few weeks and I can’t watch her deteriorate like that.
“Well, if you need anything, let me know.” She turns the corner to go to my house, then about throws me out of my seat as she flips the car around.
“What are you doing?” My fingers dig into the sides of my seat. I swear I can feel perfect indents of my fingers already there from all the times Kelsie has almost killed us in her car. She’s crazy. And I’m pretty sure she has road rage.
“I forgot. I owe you a shake and some fries. And after this conversation, I’m buying you whatever else you want.”
I chuckle. Right. “Of course. You know the way to my heart. Thanks, Kels.”
“And you need to tell me what you and Hot Stuff were talking about.”
“Hot Stuff? Really?”
She laughs. “Oh, come on. You were thinking the same thing. I saw how close you two were. I even stood by the door for a sec to see if you were gonna get closer.” She wiggles her eyebrows.
I bury my face in my hands as she laughs again. “For the last time: I don’t like Cole,” I mumble. Even though the way he held my hand those few seconds kind of … I don’t know. Changed things a little. But I’m not about to admit that. I’m still in love with Lucas. I can’t fall for someone else.
And what did he say? I’m rude to everyone? Am I?
“Did you have fun tonight?” I ask her.
“Yes. I did. I kicked everyone’s butt.”
“Of course you did.”
We’re both quiet and, as we glance over at each other, we burst out laughing. My night feels a lot lighter than before.
I don’t know where I’d be without my Kelsie.
CHAPTER 12
Morning wakes me bright and early and I’m secretly happy I’m the only one awake. I change into my biking clothes, throw my hair in a ponytail, and creep upstairs to make a morning green smoothie. Of course the blender decides to crap out on me, so I make a ton of noise pushing the fruit to the bottom with a knife and shaking it around to get the blender to work. I pour out my brownish icy goodness and gulp it down.
Time to start eating healthy if I want to kick Whitney’s trash.
“Hey, Bug.”
I jump and spill some of my drink on my jersey.
Nice.
“Oh. Hi, Dad. What are you … why are you up so early?”
He looks at me like I’m an idiot. “I leave for work at 6:30 every day.”
Of course he had a reason to look at me like that. “Oh. Right.” I set my cup in the sink and hurry and fill my CamelBak. I suck a little of the leftover water from my last ride out to start the flow and spit it in the
sink before draining the rest and filling it back up with new water.
Dad’s hovering behind me, but I don’t turn back around. “What are you doing up so early this morning?”
“Uh … just keeping busy. Doing … teenager things.”
“I’m pretty sure getting up at six in the summer isn’t a normal teenager thing to do.”
“Yeah, probably not.”
“Going biking today?”
“Yep.”
“You know, you’ve been living on that mountain lately. I’d like to see my daughter every now and then.”
I turn around and smile. “You’re seeing me right now. And you saw me yesterday. And the day before that.”
He frowns. “You know what I mean. I’d like to actually spend time with you. And not just to pick up your broken-down car.” His stare makes me feel guilty that I’ve been avoiding everyone.
“Sorry. I’ve had things to do. I’ll try to be around more.” I know I won’t.
“Honey, if you need to talk about things, you know I’ll listen. And Mom, too. She’s been worried about you.”
Mom. My chest tightens and I tell myself to keep breathing. “I told you. I’ve been busy. I’m training for another race and have a bunch of bikes to fix up and sell.”
He walks over to where I’m standing and puts a hand on my shoulder. “I know you’re worried about Mom. If you need to talk about it, ask questions—”
“I’m fine.” I know I say it too fast, but I don’t care. “I … uh … have to go.” I step away from him. “Do you think Gavin will care if I borrow his car?”
I hear him let out a small sigh. “He probably wouldn’t even notice since he’ll probably still be asleep when you get back, but your car is fixed. I’ve been working on it. It’s in the driveway.” He points to my keys which are sitting on the table.
“Oh. Thanks.”
“Be careful.” He looks sad. And I know it’s my fault.
The sky is cloudy today. Perfect for a quick ride.
The air is crisp, cool even, as I pedal up the rocky terrain.
The uphill on this trail is kind of tough, I’ll admit, but once I turn around at the top, going back down is my favorite part of the ride.
Sweat beads on my forehead as I switch gears again at the steepest part of the trail. My legs burn, my butt is numb, and I’m sweating from every possible place I can think of. Like a good biker should be.
It feels amazing.
It’s one thing to bike for exercise and to … you know, stay in shape. It’s a whole other thing to bike for the thrill. The challenge. The passion. Someday I’ll get that sponsorship. Someday I’ll maybe even do this for a living. I would love every second of it.
I ride for a while, enjoying the wind in my face and the adrenaline pumping. When I reach one of the hills, for some reason my bike feels heavier as I pedal my way to the top. It shouldn’t feel that way since I’m in the lowest gear. I frown. It can only mean one thing. Once I finish my climb, I glance down at my tires and groan.
My front tire is deflating. Fast. So much for my perfect ride today.
I get off my bike and walk it a little ways until I reach my spot. I lean it against a tree while I take a look around. I need a moment to myself and then I’ll change the tube and head home. I always carry a spare tube or two.
I’ll never get over how beautiful it is up here. The birds singing, the trees blowing in the breeze. So peaceful.
I climb up on the rock Kelsie and I usually share and sit, wrapping my arms around my knees and pulling them to my chest as I stare out into the valley. The sun is up now and I’m glad I’m wearing sunglasses.
My helmet is bugging me, so I unhook it and take it off. My hair is a rat’s nest I’m sure, but I slide it out of my elastic anyway, run my fingers through it, and shake my head. Letting it all loose feels good.
I enjoy the quiet. This is somewhere I can come to think. Where no one will bother me. I suck in a deep breath of nice clean air, smell the hint of rain. A few clouds inch their way overhead, and I kind of hope it sprinkles a little. It would cool me off at least. I frown as I hear someone coming up the trail.
So much for being alone up here.
The sound of wheels moving over rocks and dirt comes from my left. I glance over and recognize the black and red helmet at once.
Cole.
He slides his bike to a stop, looks over at me, and of course gets off his bike. “Marty? What are you doing up here all alone?”
I shrug. “Same as you I think.” He glances around before leaning his bike against a tree. “Are you following me? I’ve seen you every day this week so far. That’s not normal.”
“I’ve just been lucky running into you.” He smiles and, before I know it, he’s climbing up on the rock next to me. “This is nice. Do you mind if I sit with you for a bit?”
“Sure.” It’s not like he’s giving me a choice anyway. “Why are you up here today? I don’t see you on this trail very often. You’re usually on the more challenging ones.”
“I didn’t feel like going to my usual trail, but I wanted to get some practice in before Back Country. I need to be in top-notch shape to beat the other guys.”
I roll my eyes. “Like you need practice.”
“So, you admit I’m awesome.” He nudges my shoulder and my face heats.
After I pull myself together, I look at him. “I didn’t say that.” I stare out into the valley again, trying to hide my smile.
“You totally think it.”
I don’t answer.
We’re quiet as we both look at the view.
Cole’s knee brushes mine and I glance over at him before scooting away. Not far, but enough. It doesn’t stop the shiver his touch brings, though. Which is annoying. I don’t like him. I’ll never like him like that.
My body is kind of telling me something else, though. And the fact that I can’t stop looking at him contradicts everything I’m trying to tell myself. It’s weird that we’re even sitting here together. Weird that I’m actually staying where I am and not back on my bike already. Weird that it’s happened two days in a row. Weird that I kind of want to talk to him again.
“Have you forgiven me for arguing with you last night?”
I chuckle. “We didn’t argue that much. And I’m not one to hold grudges.”
He raises an eyebrow. “From the way you’ve avoided me for the last year, I thought otherwise.”
“Biking grudges are different, so they don’t count.”
“Ah. I see. Thank you for clearing that up for me.”
“You’re welcome. Besides. About last night …” I hesitate, not wanting to admit he was right. But he was. “What you said was true. I don’t know you very well and I haven’t given you a chance because of some stupid rumors. I’m sorry I assumed things about you.”
He shrugs. “It’s okay. Maybe I’ll tell you a truth or two one of these days.”
I smile. “Maybe I’ll tell you one of mine, too.”
He leans back on his hands and stretches out his legs. “If I could only be so lucky.”
I don’t miss the sarcasm in his voice, but to my surprise, I laugh. “Yep.”
“Always so mysterious.”
“Right.” I want to trust him. Especially since he’s been so nice to me when I’ve been kind of a jerk. Maybe I should stop arguing with him all the time. It’s getting kind of exhausting, to be honest.
“Do you sit here a lot?” he asks as he unhooks his helmet. He doesn’t take it off, just lets the chin strap dangle near his neck.
I nod. “This is my favorite spot. I love it up here.”
“Me too. I come here a lot to sit. Not this exact spot, but you know what I mean. It’s quiet. I like to escape the chaos of every day. Do something simple.”
I glance at him. “Sitting is simple?”
“The simplest. When you start thinking, that’s when everything gets complicated.”
I stare at him. Sometimes the things he say
s surprise me. He’s so different from the person I thought he was. The player or womanizer. He’s nothing like that. He’s so … dare I say it: poetic? No. That sounds stupid. Besides, I’ve never been one for poetry so I don’t even know what I’m talking about.
“This is nice. You and me. Sitting here together. I’m kind of getting used to it. It’s much nicer than arguing with you every time we hang out.”
“I don’t argue with you every time.”
“Sure …” He draws it out and chuckles.
He has a nice laugh.
“It’s getting hot out here. Sometimes I hate the summer.”
“I know. Me too. I should probably get back before I get sun burned.”
“Your cheeks are already a little pink.” He reaches out as if to touch my cheek, making my heart beat like crazy, and then drops his hand and turns away from me.
I follow his lead as he jumps down from the rock. When it’s my turn, he reaches up and grabs my hand, helping me drop to the ground. My hand tingles from his touch, even through my gloves. It catches me off guard and, as I start toward my bike, I trip and almost fall on my face. Instead, Cole grabs me around the waist.
“Uh …” I put my hands on his chest as he steadies me. I stare at my hands and, after a moment’s hesitation, drop them to my sides.
“You okay?” He’s still hanging on to me and I can’t help but notice his hazel eyes are more blue today. Light and clear. Like the sky. And … he’s staring at me, totally realizing I’m checking him out.
“Yes.” I pull away from him, embarrassed. “Sorry. I’m usually not so clumsy.”
“I have that effect on girls.”
“You make them clumsy?”
“No. They seem to fall all over themselves to get my attention.”
“Oh, please.” I step around him and wander over to my bike. I kneel down and pull my tool kit out of the pouch hooked to the bottom of my seat.
“You have a flat?”
“Yep.”
“Do you need a hand?”
“Nope. I fix bikes for a living. Well … sort of. Not really a living, but … you know. For extra money and …” I stop talking when I see his amused expression. “I know how to change a flat, okay?”
Switching Gears Page 8
