by J. L. Drake
But I didn’t.
“Alessio,” I whispered.
“Yes?”
“What is this?” I asked, finally pulling the courage from within me.
Alessio’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion and he pulled his forehead away but kept his arms wound tightly around me. “What?”
“This, between us. What is this? How is this going to work?”
While he was gone, those same questions haunted me day and night. Alessio plagued my thoughts and heart. He was all I could think about but I was also scared. The uncertainty was slowly making me lose control.
I needed to know what he truly wanted.
Alessio stared into my eyes, his face impassive for a second. My stomach dropped, caving into an empty pit at the expression on his face.
My heart stuttered. I felt the tears at the back of my eyes but then his eyes softened and his lips stretched into a smile, showing me his dimple again.
“I don’t know,” he whispered. My eyes widened, but he kept talking. “I don’t know what this is. I can’t put a name to it because there’s no name to describe this. All I know is that I want you and I can’t let you go. Even when I tried, I couldn’t.”
I sucked in a sharp breath at his confession, feeling my heart melt at his words. I never expected these words from Alessio when I asked him the question. But he had given me more than I needed.
He had given me hope.
“I want to see where this goes. I want to try.” Alessio placed his forehead back on mine, his fingers tangling in my hair.
My eyes fluttered closed and I took a deep break before opening them again, staring deeply into his eyes. “I want to try too,” I whispered.
I was playing with fire. I would burn in the end, but sometimes when the fire is raging within, you can’t let go. And I couldn’t. I was desperately holding on, even when I knew the fire was going to burn us both in the end.
Alessio’s eyes lit up, as if I had given him the only one thing he wanted.
I expected him to kiss me but he didn’t move. Instead his arms stayed around my waists like band of steel, his forehead rested on mine while his lips were only an inch away from mine.
I looked into his eyes for any indication that he would kiss me. And I saw the need there, but when he didn’t, I grew confused.
His eyes flickered to my lips again and his hands stiffened around my waist. When realization dawned, I grasped his jacket for support and grew nervous. My fingers tightened around the fabric and I felt myself swallow hard.
Moving forward until our bodies were molded together, I tilted my head up and then stood on my toes. Our gazes stayed connected as I gently pressed my lips to his, and my eyes fluttered shut.
I heard a growl rumble from his chest and he pressed his lips harder against mine, demanding access. I gasped and he took the opportunity to slip his tongue inside. He explored my mouth slowly. I was hesitant at first, but when he bit down on my lips and then sucked at my tongue, I grew bold.
Letting go of his jacket, I moved my hands upward until my fingers were wrapped in his hair. When I sucked at his tongue, his fingers tightened around my scalp, a groan vibrating from his chest. I moaned in return.
Alessio licked my lips and I shuddered against him, my fingers pulling at his hair. He slightly pulled away and swore. “Fuck.” We were both breathing hard. Seeing a man like him undone was shocking to me.
Before I could say anything, his lips crashed into mine again. This time he took my lips possessively, as if he was starving for me. And I returned his kisses with the same fervor.
Alessio pressed me against a tree, holding me tightly against him. He never broke the kiss. Instead, he claimed my lips, marking me as his.
Releasing my waist, his hand started to move lower until it was at the edge of my dress. He pulled back and then licked my swollen lips. I was in haze, his kisses driving me crazy.
“Did I tell you how beautiful and sexy you look in this dress?”
His words sounded like they were under water but I understood them. So, I shook my head. Alessio leaned closer until his lips were right next to my ear.
He bit down on my earlobe. “You look so fucking beautiful in this dress,” he whispered gruffly, his voice sounding husky and laced with desire.
His movement was slow, but I shivered when I felt him move my dress upward. Alessio took my lips again.
Too much. It was happening too fast. My head was spinning. My skin burned. My body felt light and heated…too warm. I felt my knees shaking and I clung to his shoulders, my fingers biting into them. Alessio hissed into my lips.
When he didn’t move, I wrapped my fingers in his hair again, and pulled. Alessio groaned unhappily but tore his lips away from mine. Our harsh breathing filled the silent forest and I fought for air.
“Too fast?” Alessio asked.
“A little,” I replied, my chest heaving.
“Okay.” He placed his forehead against mine again and I opened my eyes, making eye contact with his. He gave me a small smile before bending down to place a sweet gentle kiss on my swollen lips.
Alessio let go of me and stepped away. I missed his warmth almost immediately. The look in his eyes told me he felt the same way.
He brought a hand up and rubbed his thumb over my lips. “I like your lips like this…swollen and red from my kisses.”
“Alessio…”
He smirked and then bent down to kiss me again before pulling away. “I’ll just have to kiss very often then, to keep them looking like that.”
This man was impossible.
I couldn’t help but giggle at the look on his face and his words. Ducking my head shyly, I smiled. But Alessio wasn’t having any of that. He placed a finger under my chin and tilted my head up.
“What did I tell you?” he asked, his eyes fierce and intense.
My mouth formed an ‘o’ and I cocked my head to the side. “You told me to never look away from you.”
Alessio moved the few strands of hair that fell over my face behind my ear, before cupping my jaw, rubbing his thumb softly yet possessively over the curve. “Good. Remember that, kitten.”
“Hmm.” I smiled up at him.
“C’mon. Let’s go back,” he said.
This time, he didn’t walk ahead of me. Instead, he took my hand in his, entwining our fingers tightly together before walking away from the creek. Our steps were slow and unhurried, almost as if we lost in our thoughts.
But truthfully, we were lost in each other. Both of us never wanting this perfect beautiful moment to end.
Happiness couldn’t be a word to describe what I was feeling. Inside, my feeling was joyful. I felt giddy. Warm and completely euphoric. My cheeks were hurting from my wide smiles but most of all, my heart…it was whole.
It fluttered every time Alessio’s fingers tightened around mine. It danced with happiness every time I thought about our kiss. And it sang with the intensity of Alessio’s eyes on mine.
As we walked back toward the mansion, I just prayed that this happiness, and whatever was between us, wouldn’t burn out before it could bloom.
***
“Goodnight,” I whispered to Alessio, my head lying on his shoulder as I sat on his lap.
“Goodnight,” he murmured back.
But still we refused to let each other go.
“I should go.”
“You should.”
“I’m tired,” I said.
“I know. Me too,” he replied, his words soft.
“I really should go.” My voice was barely a whisper as I pulled my head up and stared into Alessio’s eyes. He nodded and the sighed, releasing his hold on me.
Was that a pout? It was so small, but it was definitely there. But then it was gone. I thought it was just my imagination, but I had seen it.
“You were pouting,” I said.
Alessio glared at me and then grumbled something under his breath. “You are delirious from lack of sleep, kitten. Go to sleep. You ne
ed it.”
“I’m not.”
He sent me glare again. “Ayla.”
With a sigh, I got off his lap and stood in front of him. “Goodnight.”
He gazed up at me and then smiled. “Goodnight, kitten.”
As I walked out and closed the door, I mumbled under my breath, “He was definitely pouting.”
After quickly washing my teeth and face, I closed the tap and dried my face. When I had changed into my light pink nightgown, I opened the door of my bathroom and walked out.
But I stopped when I saw Alessio sitting on my bed.
“Alessio?” I took a step closer but then stopped again.
He was holding his jacket, the one I kept under my pillow.
I started to panic, my stomach twisting painfully in knots as my heart raced wildly in my chest.
I took several deep breaths, trying to control myself.
“I can explain,” I whispered, desperately hoping he would understand.
Alessio stood up, still holding his jacket. Our eyes met.
His gaze was intense while mine was filled with fear.
Alessio took a step closer and then threw the jacket on my sofa.
Keeping his eyes on me, he whispered his next words.
And they took my breath away. This time my heart accelerated, but for a different reason.
“You won’t be needing this anymore.”
Chapter 45
I stared at Alessio in complete shock, my lips parted in astonishment. My gaze moved from his and to the sofa chair where the jacket sat.
“How?” Looking back at Alessio, he stared at me with knowing eyes.
Realization sank in and my stomach dropped. I brought a hand up to my neck and rubbed it nervously. His eyes tracked my movement and then he cleared his throat.
“You were the one who kept the jacket there?” I questioned, my voice barely audible. I had asked the question but the answer was already clearly written on his face. Alessio’s face softened at my question and he gave me a sharp nod.
Shaking my head, I tried to get rid of the web of confusion. “But how?”
Alessio let out a tiny sigh and raked his fingers through his hair, a sign of either nervousness, frustration, or anger. But in this moment, I didn’t know what he was feeling.
“I heard you and Maddie talking. When she asked you about my jacket.” His eyebrows furrowed when I took a step back.
“Ayla—”
He cared.
And that wasn’t something I expected from Alessio. Not from a man who was supposed to be ruthless, heartless, and a killer.
Tears blinded my vision and I swallowed past the heavy lump forming in my throat. This moment felt surreal. A fragment of my imagination.
But it was real.
I opened my mouth to say something. Anything. I just didn’t want this moment to vanish. I didn’t want to lose this feeling that was blooming in my heart.
But when I finally spoke, my words came out as an accusation. “You were spying?” I asked.
I flinched at my own tone and I saw Alessio’s eyes widen before his back straightened in a rigid posture.
“I was not,” he replied, looking very much affronted. “I heard you and Maddie when I was walking down the hallway.” He paused and then rubbed his jaw, giving me a sheepish look. “Well, I did stop when I heard Maddie ask about the jacket. I was curious.”
He shrugged and walked toward me, stopping right in front of me. Alessio brought a hand up and trailed a finger down my cheek, swiping my tears away. “Can’t blame me. Anyone would be curious.”
Cupping my cheeks in his hands, Alessio tilted my head up. “Why are you crying, Ayla?”
“You gave me your jacket,” I whispered brokenly and then closed my eyes. I sounded so pathetic.
“I did,” he agreed. I felt his thumb right under my eyes and he rubbed the spot gently. Instinctively, my hand came up and I grabbed hold of his jacket in a death grip, holding him close to me. Alessio was my anchor.
“Open your eyes,” he muttered. My fingers tightened around him and my eyes fluttered open with his soft command.
“But you won’t need it anymore,” Alessio said. His words rang with finality and I shivered in his arms.
“What do you mean?” I murmured. He smiled at my question and bent down, brushing his lips gently over mine.
“I’d rather show you,” he whispered against my lips before claiming them in a hard kiss. He let go of my face and brought his hands down, wrapping them around my tiny waist as he pulled me closer into his body.
My body molded to his. Hard against soft. His hold was unyielding as I returned his kiss with just the same intensity. I was lost in him when he pulled away and I moaned in protest. “Shhh. I’ve got you,” he muttered through the hazy fog that clouded my thoughts.
Alessio bent down, sliding an arm behind my back and my knees before lifting me up in his arms, cradling me to his chest.
“What?” I said.
He chuckled low in my ear and placed a kiss there. “Relax, Ayla,” he soothed, his voice deep and rough.
At his words, I instantly relaxed in his arms and wrapped my hands around his neck. “Where are you taking me?”
“You ask too many questions,” he said. Alessio looked down at me, his lips tilted up in a small smirk, his eyes gleaming with intensity—the same intensity that made me weak in the knees and my heart flutter every time.
“But…”
His arms tightened around me in warning. As Alessio walked us down the hall and stopped in front of his bedroom, I didn’t have to ask any questions. He didn’t look down at me when he opened the door, but I saw a ghost of a smile on his lips.
He walked inside and kicked the door shut. As soon as we were in the middle of the room, he lowered me down until my feet hit the floor. Alessio turned me around so that I was facing him.
“You won’t be needing my jacket anymore because you will be sleeping with me.”
I knew it was coming. I knew what he would say but the words still took me by surprise. “Alessio,” I whispered, taking a step closer to him. He cupped my jaw and rubbed his thumb over the curve. I pressed my cheek into his palm and a sigh of contentment whispered past my lips.
“But why?” I asked, wanting to understand him further.
Alessio smiled wide and rested his forehead against mine. “I had the best sleep last night,” he said.
I moved closer. He was the same as me. I melted into his body, his sweet words, soft eyes and gentle touch taking over my senses.
“It’s simple. You need me, and in some ways, I need you too,” Alessio continued, his gaze intense. I swallowed hard and brought my hand up, placing it over his. “You…calm me.”
Just like he was my peace…I had the same effect on him.
Bringing my other hand up, I placed it over his cheek. “You bring me peace. I don’t know how. But you do. You make it all go away. The pain. The darkness. The hurt. I feel peace when I’m with you.”
I saw Alessio smile and he slowly brought his lips down to mine. “I know,” he whispered back before taking my lips. He moved his hand to the back of my head, holding me firmly. His kiss was soft and sweet.
“We should go to sleep,” he said, pulling back. His voice was husky and rough. The way his eyes glinted dangerously in the light, I knew that was the last thing he wanted to do.
But I was grateful he stopped there. I wasn’t ready for more. Whatever was between us at the moment…it was already too much.
Alessio let go of me and I stepped back. “I need to change. Get yourself comfortable.” He nodded toward the bed.
I watched him go into the bathroom and close the door behind him. As soon as he was out of sight, I moved back to his bed.
I still remembered the first time we met, his eyes filled with fury and his gun pointed at me.
All I could see now was affection in his soft gaze. All I felt were gentle caresses. He was no longer the killer I met the first
time.
He might be a monster out there, but to me he was my savior. My anchor.
Moments later, he returned wearing only grey sweatpants, his chest bare
“Oh.” My mouth fell open as I took him in, my gaze drawn to his muscular body. Lean, big, and hard. He was sculpted, beautifully rugged. Intense, dark, dangerous.
There were still some droplets of water on his perfectly tanned body. But what got most of my attention were the tattoos weaved around the length of his arms, ending just above his elbows. The most prominent looked Celtic and almost tribal in design but I couldn’t make out the other design.
It was dark, intense, and fierce…just like him.
Alessio walked toward me and my gaze roamed over broad shoulders and chest. He stopped in front of me and I had to tilt my head up. He was so big and powerful like this.
“Do you mind if I sleep like this?” he asked. “I usually sleep naked, but I thought you wouldn’t be comfortable with that. I can accommodate with the sweatpants, but I hate sleeping with shirts.”
“Umm…right.”. Shaking my head, I tried to find my voice. “I mean, yes. I’m okay with this.”
Alessio brought his hand up and trailed a finger up from my jaw to my ear, moving my hair to the side. “Good.”
He leaned forward until his lips were right next to my ear. “Let’s sleep,” he said, placing a kiss there before stepping away. He had a smirk on his face and he wasn’t even trying to hide it. His blue eyes gleamed with a devilish glint as he nodded toward the bed.
Instead of standing up, I pushed myself back on the bed and crawled backward until I was on the right side, close to the window. Alessio followed my each and every movement, his eyes burning brighter with intensity.
My fingers tightened around the comforter and I swallowed hard, my body trembling slightly under his fierce gaze. He must have seen my nervousness because he cleared his throat and looked away.
I turned toward the window, purposely facing away from him.
I heard him shuffling around the room and then the lights were off, casting darkness around the room, with only a tiny glow coming from behind me.
Thank goodness. I hated sleeping in the dark.
